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Welcome to BACW's: King of the Deathmatch Tournament
Finals
Winner of SF1 vs. Winner of SF2
Semi Final Round
SF1 - Winner of QA vs. Winner of QB
SF2 - Winner of QC vs. Winner of QD
Quarter Final Round
QA - Winner of Bracket A Match #1 vs. Winner of Bracket A Match #2
QB - Winner of Bracket B Match #1 vs. Winner of Bracket B Match #2
QC - Winner of Bracket C Match #1 vs. Winner of Bracket C Match #2
QD - Winner of Bracket D Match #1 vs. Winner of Bracket D Match #2
Round #1
Bracket A Match #1
Chris Xtreme vs. Bye
Bracket A Match #2
Drake Green vs. Ragodoll
Bracket B Match #1
Thatcher Rex vs. Jericho Hill
Bracket B Match #2
Derek Parks vs. Aleksei Koji
Bracket C Match #1
Spectre vs. DJ
Bracket C Match #2
Giani DiLuca vs. Ragdoll
Bracket D Match #1
Ethan Brody vs. Jay Pablo
Bracket D Match #2
Sean Jackson vs. Jonathan Darkstar
KoTDM - 2012
[We open up our pre-show by rolling footage from last year's King of the Deathmatches tournament...]
Promo: Both of these wrestlers have lost a ton of blood and as you can see by the presence of the medical team, even the BACW brass is a bit worried about what's going on here.
E.D: Jomary and Chris Xtreme knew what they were getting into when they signed their contracts but even I have to admit, I didn't think either would take this match this far.
[Dropping to both knees and hooking the leg for the 1... 2... 3... Xtreme looks up at the referee with disbelief as he hears the word...]
Referee: TWO!!
Crowd: [POP!]
[Shaking his head and pulling out his lighter once again, Chris sets the chair on fire misses the flaming head shot! From her back, Jomary sweeps his legs and falling backwards...]
[KAAAAABOOM!!!!!!]
[Xtreme falls into the C4 board and is practically blown to bits.]
Promo: Shaking and going into convulsions, Jomary tries to claim the title by pressing his shoulders to the canvas for the 1... 2... 3... But the referee looks at her this time and says...]
Referee: TWO!!
E.D: You have to be kidding me!
Promo: This is outrageous!
Crowd: This is awesome! Clap-Clap-clapclapclap! This is awesome! Clap-Clap-clapclapclap! This is awesome! Clap-Clap-clapclapclap!
[Almost in tears from the pain shooting through her body, Jomary sets up a ladder and starts to climb. With each rung she gets closer to victory and when she finally arrives at the top, Xtreme knocks the ladder from under her.]
E.D: Falling onto the logo with a sick THUD, Xtreme uses all his strength to hit his finisher on the char-broiled chair!
Promo: I think this is it!
Referee: ONE! TWO!!
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: Ring the bell!
Crowd: [MEGA POP!]
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
[As the announcement is made and the medical team hits the ring, we are left with the words... And your winner of the 2012 King of the Death Matches is - Chris Xtreme!!!!]
WOOOSH!!!
KoTDM Pre-Show
Promo: Hello everyone and welcome to BACW's King of the Deathmatches free per view sponsored by the National Wrestling Alliance! I'm your Host Paul Prominski aka The Promo Machine and this is my Co-Host, the man who sees nothing wrong with putting razor blades in candy apple on Halloween - Welcome if you would "Easy E" Eric Danger!
E.D: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Unlike you Paul, I give the kids the kind of treat that won't get you arrested.
Promo: That's not even funny.
E.D: I thought it was hysterical!!
[Shaking his Paul continues with the opening...]
Promo: Folks, tonight will witness one of THE most violent tournaments in all of professional wrestling with the winner being crowned the number one contender for the NWA World Television championship. With names like 2012 KoTDM winner Chris Xtreme, NWA TV champion Spectre, Giani Di Luca, Derek Parks, DJ and let's not forget Sean Jackson anything can happen and most likely will.
E.D: Don't leave out the NWA's newest stars Thatcher Rex, Jericho Hill, Ethan Brody, and very unpredictable Aleksei Koji!
Promo: As you can see from the broken tables, ladders, mangled chairs, and miscellaneous weapons of extreme scattered around the ring our first two rounds are already completed and...
[Just then "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N Roses blares and ripping back the black velvet curtain our steps BACW and NWA Owner Mr. Batee to a tremendous roar.]
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
Promo: And apparently Mr. Batee has decided to make an appearance.
E.D: Did you really think he wasn't going to show?
Promo: You got a point there.
[Slapping hands down the isle and guzzling down a few adult beverages on his way, Mr. Batee stomps up the stair, powers through the ropes, and calls for the microphone as the fans continue to cheer.]
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
[Raising his hands to the heavens of extreme and gripping his eye lids shut, the mastermind of the professional wrestling business can only nod his head with approval.]
Crowd: Bats! Bats! Bats!
[Throughout the last two decades, BACW has been the home to such originals as The Grinder, Burnt to a Crisp, and this very tournament. As the arena continues to shake, and ground continues to roll, he opens up his eyes and gazing into a sea of hardcore-mania he bellows...]
Mr. Batee: BAAAA-C-Dubya!
Crowd: WOO!
Mr. Batee: Ha! Ha! HA! It's me! It's me! It's the B.M.O.C. of the pro wrasslin planet! More powerful than Zeus himself and able to leap Giani Di Luca's manhood in a single bound! It's a bird! It's a plane baby! Ha! Ha! HA! It's the most prolific antagonist the world has ever known! Welcome to my home! Welcome to my show! And by the power vested in me by all the hardcore fans watching today! Welcome to Bad ASS Championship Wrrrrrrrestling!
Crowd: POP!!!
Mr. Batee: I'm the owner of this out of control asylum but before we go on with the massacre, I want to ask you fans... Do you want to see more tables?!
Crowd: YEAH!
Mr. Batee: Do you want to see more ladders!
Crowd: OH! YEAH!
Mr. Batee: How about some barbwire wrapped flaming light tubes!
Crowd: HELL YEAH!
Promo: Barbwire wrapped flaming?
E.D: The man is on a roll.
Mr. Batee: Then strap yourselves in because in just a few moments, we are going to begin the quarter finals and 8 of the toughest S.O.B's in the business are going to continue to tear each other to pieces for your entertainment!
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
[Sneering into the camera the owner ends his brief in-ring by saying...]
Mr. Batee: And when it's all said and done...and one man is standing! I hope each and every one of you watching at home...
Mr. Batee & Crowd: Enjoyed! The! Brutality!!
[Pounding the microphone into logo, Batee exits and the tournament continues...]
WOOOSH!
Announcer's Table
[We rejoin our show as Mr. Batee disappears behind the curtains...]
Promo: My God! What a brutal and bloody first and second round of action!
E.D: Congratulations to all the winners but we are far from done.
Promo: Undeniably it's not folks, but before we move onto the quarter final round, let's take you into the back where the only wrestler to get a first round bye 2012 KoTDM winner Chris Xtreme is standing by.
WOOOSH!
THIS IS X-TREME!
[The scene switches to backstage, somewhere in the Prudential Center, as Ultimate Authority member Chris Xtreme can be seen, currently attempting to hotbox the lavish locker room he was assigned for the evening. Just as he extinguishes his spliff in the official Chris Xtreme ashtray (Available NOW on the BACW eMarket!), the door slams open, revealing El Locon, clutching a Los Locos branded bag. He quickly drops the bag, before he follows it down, firing off some pushups.]
Chris Xtreme: Bursting into my locker room and doing pushups is in aid of what, exactly?
El Locon: Just thought I'd do some pushups since I'm the pushup contest winner.
Chris Xtreme: Do you want to stand up? I mean, okay, sure, I get it, you can do pushups, and you're in the right sort of place to lace my boots up for me... but it's a little weird to see a grown man just drop and start doing pushups randomly, you know?
[El Locon stands up; brushing some detritus off the Los Locos shirt he's wearing.]
Chris Xtreme: Is there an actual reason that you're here, or were you just looking for a fight? 'Cus, y'know, if you are, you're out of luck. I'm already booked tonight, and y'know, I'm kinda busy. The drugs aren't gonna take themselves, are they?
El Locon: Look, I just came to say it was an honor to face you since you are one of the elite wrestlers in the company and you gave me one hell of a match. By beating someone of your status to me means I have truly arrived in NWA.
Chris Xtreme: Or, you could have the alternative opinion - the one that says you haven't arrived until you've won a big match. Speaking of...you're in one of those, aren't you?
El Locon: Yeah, I can't wait to face you along with the others at Lord of the Rings. I want to prove my wins over you and Chezina aren't flukes. I want to shock the world like I have been doing ever since I came here and prove I belong here when I become the next NWA world heavyweight champion. Besides that I respect you and I thought I would ask if you have any advice you could share on how to win and survive it?
Chris Xtreme: Well right now I'm in King of the Deathmatches and this tourney isn't about winning it, Locon - it's about surviving and if you want my tip on how to survive backstage... Stay away from me! That'd probably be a good idea, you know?
El Locon: Thanks again for the tip.
Chris Xtreme: Whatever!
[Turning to exit, Locon spins around and says...]
El Locon: Oh! I brought you a gift basket as a token of my appreciation.
Chris Xtreme: Oh, now, see, this is awkward - I don't accept gifts from fans.
El Locon: Well, I'm not exactly a fan, so you'll be fine.
[He reaches down and picks up the Los Locos branded gift basket, passing it to Xtreme. The adoptive American starts leafing through the gift basket, casually discarding the El Locon 8x10's showing El Locon doing pushups, El Locon pinning Xtreme, and El Locon celebrating afterwards, until he gets to the signed El Locon - Los Locos shirt.]
Chris Xtreme: What is this, your attempt to corner the part of the market that wears dragon shirts? Ehh, probably failed at that - not enough Dragons on it.
[Xtreme casually tosses the shirt over his shoulder, it landing next to the pile of discarded 8x10's. El Locon smirks, letting the insult slide, as he clearly has another piece of business to take care of.]
El Locon: Oh, I'm almost forgetting the most important gift.
[El Locon reaches into his back pocket, producing a folded up piece of paper.]
Chris Xtreme: Seriously man... I don't do autographs.
El Locon: No, I'm technically not looking for your autograph. See, it's a Los Locos contract you can sign whenever you want to get out of the developmental stables. You know...just in case you want to really test yourself.
[El Locon gives Xtreme a slap on the shoulder that's just a little too hearty, as he turns and quickly leaves the locker room, leaving Xtreme on his own. Chris turns and looks straight down the camera.]
Chris Xtreme: Seriously... We need better security backstage. Fucking marks, man... they get everywhere.
WOOOSH!
Announcer's Table
Promo: As Chris Xtreme gets ready for the second round let's show you what Sean Jackson had to say before he got into the ring with Jonathan Darkstar.
WOOOSH!
It's Time
"Can you feel it coming? In the air, tonight?"
[The voice over is followed by the opening notes of "In the air tonight" by Phil Collins. With that, Sean Jackson and Marshall Owens step out onto the entrance ramp. Sean is wearing a t-shirt with "I am TTO" on the front and "That is all you need to know" on the back and Marshall is in a suit. He takes a deep breath as this is the first time he's been in a BACW ring since losing the BACW Heavyweight title.]
Promo: Well, I wonder what boy blunder got to talk about now?
E.D: He does seem to be missing something, doesn't he?
[After standing on the ramp for a few moments, they both begin to make their way towards the ringside area. Completely oblivious to the mixture of boos and cheers, Sean motions for a house mic which is promptly handed to him as they both enter the ring.]
Promo: After his youtube video, I'm curious as to what he's got to say. He did at one point mention something about asking for added security.
E.D: Added security? What a douche.
[Sean standing in the middle of the ring, immediately brings the mic to his mouth. After taking a deep breath, he begins to talk.]
Jackson: Mr. Batee...
[Yep, this takes the announce team by surprise.]
Promo: Sucking up alert.
Jackson: You know it as well as all these people here tonight that you are the very best thing that has EVER happened to the National Wrestling Alliance...
[The announce team is now chuckling...]
Promo: Oh man, this is going to be GOOD.
[Inhale... Exhale...]
Jackson: The man, who has almost single handedly taken professional wrestling by storm, and has made it the number one wrestling organization the world over...
[Sean smiles as he begins to pace.]
Jackson: I mean your business acumen is second to none, barring none. You're the Bill Gates of the wrestling world; you're the Donald Trump of business decisions...
E.D: Knee pads anyone?
Jackson: I mean, DAMN dude, you're the man.
[Sean stops pacing...]
Jackson: Which is why I'm out here to ask a favor of you? Now granted, I'm sure that you've seen my video on YouTube...
Promo: Who hasn't seen that drivel fest?
Jackson: Which means that you've seen my requests? So with that being said Brad, I'm respectfully begging you to remove me from this King of the Death Match tournament since firstly, I don't even remember signing my name on the dotted line AND secondly, I was emotionally and mentally coerced into this thing by Vanessa...
[Sean extends his arms outward and shrugs...]
Jackson: So Brad, uhh Mr. Batee, you've got to understand that I'm still trying to recover from the fiasco that was April of 2013, and I can't do that if I have to participate in King of the Death Match...
Crowd: BOO!!!
[All of a sudden, the lights dim down and a plume of heavy smoke appears on the entrance ramp. As the smoke clears, standing on the ramp in a red seductive dress is the Jezebeth spirit Vanessa.]
Vanessa: Oh Sean, that wasn't part of the deal. You see, you can beg all that you want, but your name was signed on the dotted line, bottom line, and there isn't anything that you can do about it.
[Vanessa smiles and then the smile disappears...]
Vanessa: I told you that you messed up when you ruined everything for me... Now it's my turn to ruin everything for YOU!
[With that, the large plume of smoke appears and after a few seconds, dissipates and Vanessa is gone. This causes Sean Jackson to swallow hard, the worry clearly covering his face.]
WOOOSH!
Interview with Candice Hoffman: Jonathan Darkstar
Candice: Hello fanboys and fangirls! I'm your sexy on the scene xZone reporter Candice Hoffman and alongside me tonight is the one and only Deadman himself, Jonathan Darkstar! Jonathan, what brings you to BACW after the closing of WCCW?
Jonathan Darkstar: BACW is the only promotion in the NWA that deserved my attention; the rest of them didn't impress me much.
Candice: You got Sean Jackson in the first round of the King of the Deathmatch; thoughts?
Jonathan: The history between me and Sean Jackson goes back almost 20 years, to the wars between the Darkstars and the Texas Outlaws. I got the utmost respect for the man and his skills, but he's going down tonight to the Deadman!
[Just then Darkstar hears Jackson trying to get out of the match and he says...]
Jonathan: Is he kidding me?
Candice: Did Sean just say what I think he just said?
Jonathan: This interview is over.
[Pulling back the curtain and storming into the ring, Candice closes the segment with...]
Candice: So there you have it! Darkstar is refusing to allow Jackson to back out of the match! I'm your sexy on the scene xZone report Candice Hoffman saying, if you're a tough as Jon Darkstar, you are always welcome on my show! Back to you promo!
WOOOSH!
Announcer's Table
[Present time...]
Promo: Unfortunately Jonathan Darkstar hit the ring and after a brief exchange, Sean Jackson took him to the outside and the two began to beat the living tar out of each other. In fact, Darkstar gave Jackson such a beating that many in attendance thought the referee was going to stop the match. But just when you thought Darkstar was going to win, Jackson blasted him over the head with the timekeepers hammer and pulling on the tights for the 123, Sean Jackson advanced into the second round.
E.D: You know if Jackson didn't cheat by using the hammer and grabbing the tights, I don't know if he could have ever really hurt the big man.
Promo: It's not called King of the Deathmatches for nothing.
E.D: By the way Paul, do we have footage of what happened after the match?
Promo: I believe we do so let's go to the video tape.
WOOOSH!
Victory Lane
[The segment opens with Sean Jackson walking down the hallway, bruised and bloodied from his first round match against Jonathan Darkstar. Happy just to survive, he's flanked by Marshall Owens who is equally happy, especially after the appearance of Vanessa.]
Marshall: Look, don't worry about it. I'm working on trying to get a security detail assigned to you, but I don't know what possible good it will do to stop something like that.
[Of course, that isn't what Sean wants to hear. He's got way too much on his plate to worry about when Vanessa is going to strike next.]
Jackson: Screw that Marshall. What good is a security team if they can't provide security? Apparently I can't rely on Mr. Batee and the rest of the NWA, so I need you to do something, anything to keep this bitch off my back.
[As they continue to walk down the hallway, the conversation continues.]
Marshall: You've been busting the guy's chops for months, and you just expect him to roll over and give you a security team? Sean, you're not even the BACW champ anymore.
[Sean stops walking...]
Jackson: Come on Marshall, God damn I can't believe this shit. I don't need this, especially from you. Just get me a damn security team or a bodyguard, something.
Marshall: You know something like that costs money. It also has to be cleared through...
Jackson: Bullshit Marshall, that doesn't need to be cleared by anybody. Do you think Spectre's pet was cleared by anybody? Or how about Sarah Richards? Jesus Marshall...
Marshall: Just trying to help.
Jackson: If you want to help, then get me what I want Marshall...
[Sean Jackson goes back to walking...]
Jackson: Sheesh!
Marshall: This is going to be a long freaking night.
[Scene fades with Marshall walking off in the same direction...]
WOOOSH!
Announcer's Table
Promo: So before we tell the people who won the bout between Ethan Brody and Jay Pablo how did you feel about this pairing Eric?
E.D: Ethan is new to the alliance having agreed to wrestle with his partner, Landon, up in Canada with the ACW. Landon threw him the proposition of participating in this tournament to which Ethan eventually agreed to. He has no history with anyone involved in the tournament, and pretty much just wants to beat people up.
Promo: What you're saying is Ethan's mindset is all about the pay packet at the end and how many people he'd like to beat up in the process?
E.D: Put it this way he'll go into each match with the same strategy! Wham bam let's get extreme man and boy did he ever!
Promo: Yes he did and unfortunately for Jay Pablo his quest to win the tournament ended when he was power bombed through a sheet of plate glass from the top rope.
E.D: I'm figuring he's going to need about 40 stitches in his back by the time it's all said and done.
Promo: I couldn't agree more. [Shuffles papers] And that brought us to Giani DiLuca who had a bunch to say before taking on taking on the vile Ragdoll.
E.D: Do we have footage?
Promo: Indeed we do... Let's go to the video tape!
WOOOSH!
It's good to be ME!
[Backstage, "The Italian Stallion" Giani Di Luca is seen standing in front of a mirror. He is wearing his white wrestling tights with the stallion on the crotch and the Italian flag on the back. He puts his fists to his hips as he admires his own Adonis-like physique. He shakes his head in dismay and then raises one arm up, flexing it as he pretends to be uninterested. Just then, Giani's bodyguard, Dean Lombardo, walks up to Giani with a dry cleaners bag. Giani looks at the mirror to watch Dean.]
Giani: Ey yo, DEAN! I see you found exactly what I asked for?
Dean: I sure did, boss man. Ey, you wanna be tryin' it on er somethin', kiddo?
Giani: Uhhh, yeah? Do you even need to ask? This needs to be perfect.
[Dean raises the plastic off of the garment inside. He runs his fingers over the maroon fur, smoothing it out so that it is perfect for Giani. He nods his head and then pulls it off of the hanger. He slides it over Giani's shoulders, tightening it around Giani's neck. Giani looks from side to side, getting all angles of the garb, but he seems somewhat dissatisfied.]
Giani: Do I look like a King to you, or do I look like I'm tryin' to be one for Halloween? I'm thinkin' the last option there, Dino...
Dean: It took me several hours to track it down, even with your connections, G. How do you think I will fair tryin' to find another one to ya likin' so soon?
Giani: Since I am the future King of wrestlin', I don't need to be bothered by such bullshit, bro. See, we got this business arrangement, and in that arrangement, I pay you money, and you get shit done. What is so hard to understand, here?
Dean: Yer one spoiled little brat, aren't ya? How do ya know you won't like it when ya haven't even seen this...
[Dean reaches under his suit jacket and pulls out a crown to match the garb. He reaches up, placing it on top of Giani's head. The maroon and white gold crown seems to set something off inside of Giani. His frown goes upside down as he begins to nod his head in approval. He slowly starts to chuckle.]
Giani: Hahaha there we go. NOW it looks mint, dawg. I feel like I'm actually a king when I see my reflection. I seen it in my mind, but seein' it with my eyes just makes me realize that this is what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to go out there and kick some serious ass. I am ready to become the 2013 King of the Death Match...
[Dean nods his head, stroking his salt and pepper goatee as he soaks it in. Of course, he is only satisfied because of the monetary incentive, but Giani doesn't need to know that. Dean pats Giani on his back, getting him riled up as we fade out.]
WOOOSH!
Announcer's Table
Promo: What was that all about?
E.D: What was it about?
Promo: Yeah!
E.D: It's about Giani wanting to prove that he is the King and without a doubt the best in the world.
Promo: And that he did because after toying with an out matched and out classed Ragdoll, DiLuca crushed his opponent's head inside a steel chair and ended this one before it even began.
E.D: I believe the thing that stood out the most was while Giani was getting his arm raised, Drake Green slid into the ring from behind and pinned an already defeated Ragdoll advancing himself to the second round as well.
Promo: Let's show you what led up to Drake Green's victory...
WOOOSH!
Mean and Green
Candice: I'm your sexy on the scene X-Zone reporter Candice Hoffman and I'm standing here with the Empire State Champion, the man who is not going to touch my ass tonight, Drake Green. Drake, how confident are you going into tonight's tournament?
[Drake looks down and Candice's backside...]
Drake: Well, I'm certainly not confident that I'm not gonna touch your ass tonight, Candy.
[Candice drops her microphone down to her side.]
Candice: Really, Drake? We're on TV.
Drake: What? It's a nice ass.
[A small smile sneaks out of Candice's bright red lips.]
Candice: Just behave ok?
Drake: Ok.
[She brings her microphone back up to her face.]
Candice: So Drake. How confident are you heading into tonight's tournament?
Drake: You know, Candy. I'd really just love to make out with you.
Candice: Are you fucking kidding me?!
[Drake laughs.]
Drake: I'm sorry. I'm very confident, Candice.
Candice: Apparently. There was some speculation earlier this month that you might drop out at the last minute. Was there any validity to those rumors?
Drake: Some. With the title match in ACW this month and the fact that my title wasn't on the line here tonight I thought about taking the night off but then I realized what a disservice I was doing by not giving my people in Jersey a chance to see the greatest showstopper of all time in action.
Candice: How far do you think you can go tonight?
Drake: How far? I can go as far as I want Candy. But there's only one place I care about ending up. There's only one person I care about squaring off against tonight and that's DCP Derek ‘Dirty Ass' Parks.
Candice: Where does all of this animosity between the two of you come from?
Drake: It doesn't matter where it started. It only matters where it ends. And that's tonight in Newark. In front of the greatest fans on the face of the earth I will put an end to DCP. Not just this tournament. But I'll send him right back into retirement and I don't need any triple tier, quadruple circus, super dumb match to do it. All I need is one, ORIGINAL, Windy City Driver. Because you see... DCP. Tonight it's all about finishing what your mouth started.
Candice: Well you're going to have a chance right now because I think Giani DiLuca just pinned Ragdoll.
Drake: Really?! Excuse me for a second; I have some business to attend to.
[Drake pushes the camera out of his face as he heads through the curtains and down to ringside.]
Candice: There you have it. That was Drake Green, the Empire State Champion, and I wouldn't touch him if he was the last man on Earth.
WOOOSH!
Announcer's Table
Promo: And fans this led us to Spectre verses DJ which by far was the second best opening round match of the bunch.
E.D: It was violent, bloody, and when they took the action into the crowd I was actually concerned with the well being of our fans.
Promo: Really?
E.D: No, in truth I was hoping to see a cheap nipple shot.
Promo: I don't know why I even asked... [Shuffles papers] Okay folks, now before we tell you who won, let's run some footage of what DJ had to say before the match.
My Time
[A camera appears in the backstage area where DJ is face to face with the camera.]
DJ: Spectre, my time for respect has come. I waited a long time to get my hands on one of NWA's elite wrestlers. I knew sooner or later I would get in the ring with you but what is better than that is that I could finish this night as the King of the Deathmatches Champion.
[DJ smiles...]
DJ: What better way to prove that I am NWA's best kept secret than defeating the NWA World Television. Like I said in the promos, Spectre, you better be ready to kill me to advance because I refuse to lose to you.
[DJ walks out as the scene fades back to ringside...]
Announcer's Table
Promo: Going into this round, Spectre told us he wanted to end the match quickly and efficiently, not toying around with a very dangerous DJ.
E.D: Of course not! Spectre knows there is no room for overconfidence and prolonging a match.
Promo: End it, and move on?
E.D: Even if it means taking dirty tactics to get the job done.
Promo: And Spectre did just that by executing his Sweet Dreams finisher off the top turnbuckle and through a table to advance into the next round.
E.D: Well let's be clear shall we... DJ did whip the hell out of Spectre with a barbwire hose and who knows just how hurt The Purple Haired Freak really is.
Promo: In the next bout that pitted Derek Parks against Aleksei Koji, the Romanian was viciously attack by Parks in the back and never made it to the ring.
E.D: I still can't believe Parks wrote P.I.G.S. on the wall in Koji's blood.
Promo: Neither can I but coming to the ring bathed in Aleksei's crimson, Parks was awarded the win via a no show and moved into the elite eight.
[Adjusting his headset...]
Promo: And that left us with Thatcher Rex going head to head with Jericho Hill.
E.D: This was my favorite and if these men met 10 times I'm sure we could expect 10 different outcomes.
Promo: How would that even be possible?
E.D: Let's just move onto the match shall we?
Promo: Your wish is my command. [Shuffles papers] So coming from a Jericho Hill point of view how would you approach this match up?
E.D: Jericho Hill only has history with is Jay Pablo and that's a brief hatred based on a woman. Overall he's an evil bastard willing to do anything to win.
Promo: What kind of wrestler is he?
E.D: Everyone knows he's a brawler with a lot of skill.
Promo: I heard he is also the leader of his own religion.
E.D: The Church of Shortcuts!
Promo: What about Thatcher Rex?
E.D: Having taken place in numerous Barbed Wire Massacre matches, Thatcher should not be intimidated by the aspect of a painful match. Plain and simple, he sees himself as an official representative of SCW, and is confident that he could pull off the win.
Promo: And that he did as Thatcher Rex advanced into the quarter finals by using the momentum of the fans to overcome some serious lacerations.
E.D: The double leg drop off the top rope with two chairs was pretty sweet.
Promo: I'm sure Jericho Hill would say otherwise...
E.D: It's like the Who's Who's of extreme wrestling!
Promo: Yes it is! So for all the folks watching at home for free, I'm Paul Prominski aka The Promo Machine and this is my Co-Host "Easy E" Eric Danger saying good night and please don't steal the pay per view!
Begin Show
[Play promo package of first round results...]
B-
[Music riff]
A! [Echo]
[Music riff]
C [Echo]
[Music riff]
W-!
[Music riff]
[BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!]
[KA-BOOM!!!!!]
Crowd: YEAH!!!!
[With the free-per-view over, we re-join our announce team...]
Promo: Welcome everyone in Pay-per-view land to BACW's 2013 King of the Deathmatches! I'm Paul Prominski aka The Promo Machine and this is my Co-Host "Easy E" Eric Danger!
Crowd: POP!
E.D: Let me go on record by saying that first round was better than strangulation sex with Vixen and Misty at the same time in a giant martini glass of Vaseline!
Promo: I'm not even sure how to follow that...
E.D: You can't Paul, and that's what makes me - me and you - you.
[The Host rolls his eyes and continues...]
Promo: Fans we are our elite 8 as Chris Xtreme takes on Drake Green, Thatcher Rex goes head to head with Derek Parks, Spectre tries to advance against Giani DiLuca, and Ethan Brody puts it all on the line against Sean Jackson.
E.D: So who's up first?
Promo: From the sound of the music, it appears Chris Xtreme against Drake Green is going to kick off our quarter final round! Let's go the ring!
Quarter Finals - Chris Xtreme vs. Drake Green
[We join our action already in progress...]
Promo: It's Green firing back with a frying pan and falling backwards into a mound of tacks, Chris Xtreme arches his back in pain.
E.D: So far Drake Green has come into this match doing exactly what he said he was going to do and that was kick the former world heavyweight champion's ass and advance.
Promo: Suplex by Xtreme onto a mangled trash can!
CRUUUNCH!
Promo: Shoulders the canvas.
Referee: 1... 2...
Crowd: THREE!!!
E.D: Kick out!
Referee: TWO!!
[Taking a minute to argue the count with the referee, Drake turns to pick Chris off the canvas and Xtreme jams a thumbtack right into his cheek!]
Drake Green: AAARGH!
[Reeling backwards into the ropes, Xtreme unloads with a clothesline and wiping the blood that's caked onto his face, follows up with a stomp to the head.]
Crowd: OH!
Promo: Xtreme hits a beautiful tilt-a-whirl that sends Green out of the ring and it looks like its pay back time!
E.D: Come on Drake!!
[Bouncing off the far ropes, Xtreme follows up with a corkscrew plancha but moves out of the way.]
CLANG!
Promo: That railing is absolutely unforgiving!
E.D: So is your breath.
[Limping to his feet, Drake throws Chris back into the ring and lifts him up for an electric chair but Green flies back with a cartwheel elbow.]
Crowd: YEAH!!!
Promo: Green with a bouncing arm drag, followed by a step ladder arm drag and he's calling for his finisher!
PA: THE GOOD! THE BAD!! THE UUUGLY!!!
[Cue Symphony of Destruction]
[And just as Drake is about to put the former world champion away, out skips Derek Park's finance Sarah Richards who dressed in one of the smallest school girl outfits you have ever seen. Forcing herself up onto the apron, she pulls the lollypop from her mouth and begins to place it WAAAY down there.]
E.D: I'll be right back.
Promo: Where are you going with my jacket!!!?
Sarah Richards: OH Mister Refereeeee...
[Knowing how Sarah has distracted referees in the past, Drake shakes the distracted referee and says...]
Drake Green: HEY!!!! Pay attention to the match!!!
Promo: Look out!
Whack! THWAK! KA-PACK!
Crowd: BOO!!
Promo: From behind Chris Xtreme splinters a barbwire kendo stick into the back of Drake's head and down goes Green!
BOOM!
Promo: Xtreme with his finisher!
Referee: ONE! TWO!! THREE!!!
Crowd: BOO!
E.D: I don't believe it.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Ring Announcer Michael Stuffher: Your winner via pin fall - Chris Xtreme!
[Rolling from the ring, Xtreme heads into the back and the footage is cut tossing the show back to our announcer.]
WOOOSH!
Announcer's Table
Promo: I don't know what to say folks... Sarah Richards once again does the dirty work for DCP and this time it cost Drake Green dearly.
E.D: She wasn't the only one who needed to handle some dirty work.
Promo: Can we talk about the next match please?
E.D: Fire away!
Promo: So what do we really know about Thatcher Rex?
E.D: For one thing he displays a lot of strength and intensity, usually impressing the crowd in the process. He's a fan favorite, utilizing a blend of Brawler and Technical styles. I love that he acknowledges the skill of his opponents and offer respect to faces and scorn to heels.
Promo: But this is King of the Deathmatches Eric
E.D: I understand that Paul but you have to also take into consideration that Thatcher relies more on brute force than finesse.
E.D: So he can give as good as he gets?
Promo: Like any good woman worth her salt. [Shuffles papers] And speaking of salty and Sarah Richards, it's time for DCP to go one on one with Thatcher Rex. Let's go to the ring!
Quarter Finals - Thatcher Rex vs. Derek Parks w/Sarah Richards
[We join our match already in progress...]
Promo: Derek Parks jumps Rex on the ramp and slams Rex into the ring steps as Sarah Richards cheers him on.
[Pounding the canvas...]
Sarah: Come on baby!!!!!
[Taking hold of his tights, Parks tosses Rex back into the ring and then he takes his shirt and chokes Rex with it. Derek Parks then hangs Rex up in the ropes and stretches him out. Just then Eric Danger comes from out of nowhere and starts hitting on Sarah Richards at ringside!]
E.D: Can I have you number?
Sarah: EWW! NO!
E.D: Can I have it?
Sarah: I said no!
E.D: Do you like Mike and Ikes?
Sarah: Who?
E.D: Can I have you number?
SLAP!!!
Crowd: DAMN!
[With Sarah's hand print quickly forming on his face Danger persists...]
E.D: Can I have it?
[As Richards walks away, the co-host heads back to his seat feeling a bit rejected. Inside the ring, Parks misses a Splash on Rex in the corner and snapping a wooden chair closed, Rex bashes it over Derek's head and into a million pieces. Parks falls face first into a toaster oven and rolling onto his back, you can see a small piece of the chair sticking out from his forehead.]
Promo: Rex chokes Parks but this time with strand of barbwire that was let over from the previous match.
[Plopping down at ringside and putting his headset on...]
E.D: I'm back!
Promo: Just don't touch anything that's mine sticky fingers.
[Yanking hard, Rex uses Derek's shirt to toss Parks all the way across the ring with a neck toss. Rex then grabs Parks and just as he's going for his finisher, Richards opens her shirt exposing her massive girly bits and...
Promo: Thatcher don't look!!!
[...this allows her man to hit his GBU Stunner!]
Crowd: NO!
E.D: I think I have to go into the back again.
[Pulling on the leg, Parks demands the referee make the counts.]
Promo: We have a press!
Referee: ONE! TWO!! THREE!!!
Crowd: BOO!!
[Bouncing up and down on the apron...]
Sarah: YES! YES! YEEEEES! WAY TO GO BABY!!!!
[The GOOD!]
[The BAD!!]
[The Ugly!!!]
[Cue Symphony of Destruction as Sarah closes her shirt, enters the ring and begins to exchange spit wads with DCP. Smirking back at the fallen Thatcher, Parks bails from the ring and heads into back while his name is being read...]
Stuffher: ...Derek "cheapshot" Parks!
Crowd: BOO!!!
[Looking into the camera...]
Derek Parks: I told you all! It's all about me! D-C-P!
Crowd: LOUDER BOO!
Announcer's Table
E.D: You would think these BACW's idiots would be happy that one of their own just advanced!
Promo: Thatcher Rex is loved all around the world and I believe the fans are getting tired of DCP cheating his way to the top.
E.D: You mean topless!
[Cross glance...]
Promo: Folks as the seconds try to clean up the ring; we can see our next quarter final match is about to begin so let's go to the ring for our introductions.
Quarter Finals - Spectre vs. Giani DiLuca
[We join our match already in progress...]
Promo: The referee calls for the bell and Giani and Spectre go at!! This one is going to be intense. It's a classic young vs. old story in this match as the up and coming Giani Di Luca tries to knock off the legendary Spectre.
E.D: Blah blah!
[Spectre grabs a hold of Giani and sends him into the corner hard and then charges after him hitting him with a rocking stinger splash. Giani bounces out of the corner and Spectre hits him with running bulldog.]
E.D: He just used Giani's own move!
Promo: It could be over already!
[Spectre goes for the cover and the referee drops to the mat, ready to make the count.]
Referee: One...Two...
E.D: No!
Promo: He had to know it wouldn't have been that easy.
[Spectre pulls Giani up off of the mat and sets him up for a suplex. He lifts him high into the air and then drops him onto his face.]
Promo: Reckless Abandon! Spectre is trying to end this one quick.
E.D: Giani is out cold but Spectre isn't going for the pin! That could be a mistake.
[Spectre rolls out of the ring and grabs a steel chair and throws it over the top-rope and back into the ring. He slides under bottom rope and picks up the chair. He holds the chair steady and waits for Giani to start to get up. As he does, Spectre slams him in the face with the steel chair.
SMACK!
Giani drops back down and Spectre begins to repeatedly hit him with the chair while he is down.]
Promo: This can't be good.
E.D: King of the Death Matches bitches!
[Spectre drops the chair in the middle of the ring. He picks Giani up and scoops him into a bodyslam on top of the chair. He then bounces off the ropes and hits a leg drop. He goes for the pin.]
Referee: One..Two...
Crowd: Three!
[The referee holds up two fingers.]
Promo: So close!
E.D: It's gonna take a lot more than that to keep the Italian Stallion down!
[Spectre gets up, picks up Giani and whips him so hard into the ropes that he flies over the top-rope and down to ringside. Spectre, picking up speed, dives right through the ropes and slams Giani into the barricade.]
Promo: Wow that had to hurt. Giani has to do something soon or he's not gonna make it much longer.
[Spectre picks Giani up again and sets him up for a piledriver.]
E.D: He's gonna piledrive him right into the cement floor!
[As Spectre goes to lift Giani up for the piledriver, the Italian Stallion blocks the lift, punches Spectre a few times in gut to get him off, and then throws Spectre head first into ring post.
THUD!
Giani struggles to get to his feet, walks over to Spectre, and kicks him in the face. He picks the Purple Haired Freak up onto his shoulder, and then rams him into the steel ring post again. As Spectre lay on the ground Giani walks over and grabs a steel chair while taunting the fans at ringside.]
Crowd: Boo!
[Giani grabs the chair and goes to town on Spectre. He hits him so hard and so fast that the chair literally falls apart as he swings it. He throws down the broken bits of chair that are left in his hand, picks Spectre up, and hurls him into to the metal barricade. He follows it up with a hard knee right to Spectre's face.]
Promo: Giani really has a vicious side to him huh?
E.D: I love it! Kill him!!!
[Giani grabs Spectre and goes to whip into the corner where the time-keeper is sitting with the bell table but Spectre reverses out of nowhere and sends Giani toppling over the table and face first onto a steel chair. Spectre tries to capitalize but he's still woozy from all of the chair shots and can barely stay on his feet. Spectre makes his way back to the ring and pulls himself inside. Giani starts to get up from behind the time-keeper's table. He rolls over the table and starts to make his way back toward the ring but he doesn't notice that Spectre has perched himself on top of the top turnbuckle.]
Promo: What's Spectre doing?
[Just as Giani looks up, Spectre launches straight at him at hits him in the face with the back of his elbow and both men fall down to the ground.]
E.D: Did you see that?
Promo: Spectre must have been 15 feet off the ground!
[Both men start to get up at the same time and begin trading blows. Giani blocks one of Spectre's punches and grabs him by the head and hits him with a hard headbutt which knocks Spectre back a few feet. He picks up Spectre and throws back into the ring. As Spectre lies in the ring, Giani reaches under the ring apron and pulls out a steel chain and a sledge hammer and throws them up and into the ring.]
E.D: Now we're talking.
[He jumps up on the apron and then slides in between the top and the middle rope. He picks up the steel chain and begins to swing it in the air. He waits patiently for Spectre to get to his feet and then begins to whip him with the chain. Spectre drops to his feet in agonizing pain as Giani continues to give him steel lashes on his back.]
Promo: Oh my god!
[As Spectre kneels, with blood beginning to pour out the lacerations in his back from the chain, Giani wraps the chain around his neck from behind.]
Promo: He's gonna choke him out!
[Giani squeezes hard on the neck of Spectre and just as he's about to pass out he lets go, letting Spectre drop to the floor. He walks over to the corner of the ring and picks up the sledgehammer and then begins slam the hammer end down on Spectre's legs.]
Promo: He's not just trying to win. He's trying to punish Spectre for being in the ring with him!
E.D: Hit him! Hit him!
[Giani lets go and Spectre tries to start crawling away but Giani grabs him and pulls him back to the middle of the ring. He grabs the steel chain that is around his neck and begins to pull again, this time arching Spectre's back in a make-shift submission move. The referee gets down and waits to see if Spectre will tap.]
Promo: I don't know how he can take any more of this punishment.
[Once again, just as it looks as if Spectre might tap, Giani lets go and throws Spectre face first into the mat. He starts to look around the ring as if he was looking for something else to torture his opponent with. He keeps searching and then his eyes light up. He jumps down to ringside and grabs two chairs. He opens up them both, and sets them about four feet apart facing each other.]
Promo: What's he doing?
E.D: I'm not sure but it looks as if he's setting something up.
[Giani pulls a set of light tubes out from underneath the ring and sets them up on the steel chairs in a scaffold type of set up.]
Promo: I don't get it.
[He then takes a small vile of liquid out from his trunks and small lighter. He pours the liquid all over the light tubes and then ignites the lighter, setting the light tubes on fire.]
Promo: Oh my god! He had lighter fluid in his shorts!
E.D: This is awesome!
[Giani turns around and taunts the crowd again.]
Giani: Who's hardcore yo? Who's the king bro?
Crowd: Boo!
[Giani slides back into the ring and picks Spectre's near lifeless body back up. He pulls him over to the ropes and sets him up for his version of the pump-handle slam.]
Promo: Oh no! He's gonna Jersey Turnpike him right through those flaming light tubes!
E.D: Yes!!!
[As Giani pulls him up onto his shoulder Spectre pushes him through the ropes. Giani holds on to the bottom rope and pulls himself back up on to the apron but while he does that Spectre slips on to the apron himself and as Giani gets up, Spectre kicks him in the stomach. He grabs Giani and lifts him up into a Tombstone and jumps off the apron.]
KER-BLAM! BOOM! CRASH!
Crowd: Huge POP!
Promo: Spectre just tomb-stoned Giani through those flaming light tubes!
E.D: He used Giani's trick against him!
[With both men laying in the broken glass and ash, Spectre goes for the cover and the referee jumps down for the count.]
Referee: One...two...
Crowd: Three!
[The referee calls for the bell!]
Promo: Spectre has done it!
Stuffher: Here is your winner - Spectre!
WOOOSH!
Announcer's Table
Promo: So Spectre advances in brutal fashion and with another BACW member now into the semi's could Sean Jackson make it three?
WOOOSH!
Quarter Finals - Sean Jackson vs. Ethan Brody
[We join our match at the conclusions of our introductions...]
Referee: Ring the bell!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
[The bell rings and Sean smacks Ethan right across the face. Ethan tries to throw a punch but Jackson ducks and then kicks Brody in the mid-section. He whips Brody into the ropes and as he comes back, Jackson hits him with a flying forearm. He gets up and starts stomping on Brody, who rolls over to the ropes and then slides out down to ringside.]
Promo: What an impressive start by the former BACW champion.
[Jackson, inside the ring, starts to shadow every move by Ethan who is outside of the ring. Ethan steps up on the apron but Jackson comes charging and Ethan drops back down to ringside before Jackson gets there.]
E.D: Come on! Grab a chair already!
[Jackson decides to go to the opposite side of the ring and slips down to ringside. He starts to chase Brody around the ring but as Jackson turns the corner Brody trips him, sending him flying into the corner of the Spanish announcers table. Brody runs over and kicks Jackson hard in the back and the former BACW champion screams out in pain.]
Promo: I think Jackson is hurt.
[Taking advantage, Brody picks up a chair and begins to smack the living hell out of Sean Jackson's back.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Jackson falls limp to the floor as Brody throws the chair away. He grabs Jackson by the inside of his mouth and drags him over to the steel barricade. He picks him up and then puts his throat up against the top the barricade and then squeezes down as hard as he can, choking his opponent.]
Promo: I think Brody's trying to kill him!
E.D: This is King of the Death Matches, Paul. Duh!
[Brody lets go and Jackson falls back down to the floor. Ethan walks over to the ring and pulls out a steel pipe from underneath the ring. He walks over to where Jackson is laying and starts to pound on the injured back of Sean Jackson.
THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD!
Brody drops the pipe and then pulls Jackson up and over to the ring. He pushes him up on the apron and then back into the ring. Before he goes back into the ring, He pulls a ladder out from underneath the ring and then throws it back into the ring.]
Promo: What's he gonna do now?
[He walks the ladder over to the corner and climbs to the top turnbuckle. He then jumps up on to the top of the ladder and pushes off of the top-rope send all his 250 pounds and the steel ladder crashing down on top of Jackson.]
E.D: Holy crap that was awesome!
[Brody goes for the cover.]
Referee: One...two...
Promo: No! I don't know how he did it but Jackson just kicked out.
[Brody picks Jackson up, grabs him by his hair and then throws him over top-rope down to ringside. He slides under the bottom rope and goes to grab Jackson but Sean hits him with a low blow, which sends him down to the ground.]
E.D: What a shot!
Promo: That was quick thinking by Jackson.
[Jackson stands up and kicks Ethan in the face. He walks over to the barricade and breaks off a steel bar.]
Promo: This doesn't look good for Ethan Brody.
[Jackson starts wailing on Brody. He starts on his mid-section and then turns to his face and Brody starts to bleed. After a minute or so of the beating, Jackson seems to get bored and stops. He throws the medal bar down and grabs Brody and starts to drag him a few feet, further away from the ring. Jackson jumps up on the apron and then launches into a flying knee drop right on the chest of Brody.]
Promo: He's kicking the crap out of him now.
[Jackson gets up, still with noticeable pain in his back, and walks back over to the ring. He starts to look under the apron and then pulls out a ring of barbed wire.]
Promo: Oh no...
E.D: Oh yes...
[Jackson walks over to where Ethan as laying on cement floor and turns him over and then outs the ring of barbed wire around his neck and starts to choke him.]
Promo: He's choking him with barbed wire! He can't do that!
E.D: Oh yes he can!
[After a minute or so Jackson gives up. He tosses the barbed wire up into the ring and then walks back over to where he found the barbed wire and starts to look for something new. He pulls out a set of handcuffs, a 2x4, and a baseball bat covered in barbed wire. He throws all three items up into the ring and then heads back over to Brody. He picks Brody up and throws him into the ring and then follows quickly. He whips Brody into the corner and then picks up the 2x4.]
Promo: This isn't gonna be good.
[He walks over to the corner but he is met with a boot right to the face. Ethan quickly grabs Sean and throws him into the corner, picks up the 2x4 Sean had just dropped and smacks him in the head with it.
WHACK!
Sean slumps down to the floor and Brody drops the 2x4. He walks over to where Sean is laying and puts his foot on his neck and pushes down hard. He lets go after a minute, picks Sean up, and climbs the tope rope. He sets Sean up into a superplex and then hits his patented move down onto the mat.]
Promo: T-A! T-A off the top-rope!
E.D: He's going for the cover!
Referee: One...Two...
E.D: Three!
[The referee holds up two fingers!]
Promo: No! He kicked out and Brody is stunned.
[Brody walks over and grabs the 2x4 and walks back over to Jackson. He goes to hit him with it but Jackson rolls out of the way and jumps up to his feet. Brody swings the piece of wood wildly but misses Jackson completely, falling forward slightly. Jackson, seeing his opportunity, lands a big enziguri kick to the back of Brody's head.]
Promo: What a counter by Jackson!
Jackson walks over and picks up the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire and waits for Brody to get up. Ethan slowly gets up and is unaware of what is about to hit him. He turns around and is met with hunk of barbed wire right into the stomach.]
Promo: That had to hurt...
[Brody falls to his knees and Jackson drops the bat. He runs over to the ropes, bounces off and slams a knee right into the back of Brody's head.]
Promo: GAME CALLED! GAME CALLED!
[Jackson begins to taunt the crowd, feeling his has this one locked up.]
Crowd: Boo!
[Just then, as Jackson is about to go for the pinfall, a hyena runs down to ringside and up into the ring.]
Promo: Oh my god!
E.D: That must be Spectre's new hyena!
Promo: But what's it doing down here?!
[Jackson jumps down to ringside and the hyena gives chase. They run around the ring a few times and then Jackson circles back around toward the ramp. He runs up the ramp and then back down again, hyena still in tow.]
Promo: This is insane!
[Jackson gets back to ringside and jumps up to the apron. He turns to face the hyena, with his back to the ropes, and tries to kick off the hyena that is trying to jump up on to him. Out of nowhere, Ethan Brody grabs Jackson from behind.]
Promo: He's got the ring of barbed wire!
E.D: He's using it like a garrote!
[Brody tightens the barbed wire around Jackson's neck and pulls him up over the top-rope as Jackson's legs flail around. He walks Jackson over to the corner, still pulling on the barbed wire from behind, and slams his head into the top of the ring post, which drops Jackson down to the ground. Brody sits Jackson down in the corner and begins to wrap his entire head with the ring of barbed wire.]
Promo: What's he doing now? What does he have in his hand?
E.D: He found the handcuffs!
[Brody handcuffs Jackson to the ring post and he begin to kick around trying to move but he's stuck. Brody walks over to the opposite corner and then climbs the turnbuckle. He stands on the tope-rope, gives Jackson the finger, and then launches up in the air, crashing down on to Jackson's face.]
Promo: Holy crap! What a coast to coast!
E.D: That was awesome! Jackson is a bloody mess!
Promo: He's going for the cover!
Referee: One...two...
Crowd: Three!
[DING! DING! DING!]
Promo: He did it! He beat the Mental Rapist!
Stuffher: Here is your winner and moving on - The Expendable Ethan Brody!!
Crowd: POP!
Announcer's Table
Promo: And fans we are now down to four worn out and pretty injured wrestlers.
E.D: It's the final four and I'm shocked that only two BACW members have actually made it this far.
Promo: I'm not shocked at all Eric because the NWA has some of the greatest talent in the world and tonight proves that on any given Sunday anyone can defeat anyone.
E.D: I wish that was true when it came to sleeping with Sarah Richards.
Promo: Would you give it a rest already!
[Looking into his crotch area...]
E.D: Don't tell me! Tell this guy!!
[Shaking his head in disgust...]
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME! [Echo]
[Music riff]
IT'S ALL ABOUT DCP
[Echo...]
Semi-Finals - Chris Xtreme vs. Derek Parks
Promo: Let's go to the ring!
[Cue Music - Symphony of Destruction by Megadeth begins playing once again.]
You take a mortal man,
And put him in control
[DCP comes out from behind the entrance way with his head all bandaged up from his semifinal match. With mic in hand he signals for his music to be cut then begins to speak.]
DCP: Xtreme! I hope you brought your good. I hope you brought your bad and I sure as hell hope that you brought your ugly... because it's about to get real dirty here in Newark!
[Drops the mic...]
E.D: LOOK OUT!!!
[Through the crowd Xtreme hits the ring from behind and after smashing a hot McDonald's large coffee into Derek's face; he throws Parks against the ropes and clotheslines him onto his ass. Xtreme then picks up DCP and delivers a rolling fireman's carry through a table as the fans begin to become unglued.]
Promo: Parks still can't see!
E.D: Of course he can't! Have you ever has McDonald's coffee? It's hotter than boiling water.
Promo: [Raises his finger but decides not to say anything] ...
[Inside the combat zone, Xtreme climbs the ropes and running his finger across his throat, delivers a massive Slaughter Cannon.]
Crowd: POP!!!
Promo: Xtreme waits for Parks to get up and he's going for the Xtremer.
[Rolling from the ring, Parks falls into Sarah's arms still trying to clear his vision while Xtreme starts to pace inside the ring.]
Sarah: This is bullsh*t ref! Look at what this pencil d*ck did my baby!
Crowd: BOO!
Promo: The crowd gets on Richards and...
E.D: I bet she could handle each and every one of those fans.
Promo: Would you please!!!
[Not being able to take it any longer, Chris exits the ring and gives chase. After chasing Derek around the ring a few times, Parks rolls into the ring and gets a few good shots in on Chris Xtreme as he tries to follow. Raking the eyes, Xtreme starts hitting Derek Parks with a closed fist and after that blasts him over the head with a used gas can.]
Crowd: [POP!]
[With Chris now setting up a ladder Derek recovers and once again the two exchange blows, with Chris Xtreme getting the upper hand and finishing up the set with a flying elbow.]
Crowd: [WOW!]
Promo: That's pretty impressive.
E.D: I agree and from the reaction of the fans, they seem to think so too.
[Extreme goes for the three amigos suplex, but only gets two of them off, when Derek Parks fights back with some shots to the mid-section.]
Promo: DCP just won't be put down!
E.D: Parks has the offense now, and there goes Chris Xtreme off the ropes courtesy of an Irish whip!
[Big boot connects and dropping down to one knee, Derek goes for the 123 cover.]
Referee: ONE!
Crowd: [POP!]
[Slamming his hands down on the mat, Parks only gets a one count and continues with a pair of nasty kicks to Xtreme's face.]
Promo: There goes Chris Xtreme in the corner and...
Crowd: NO!
E.D: Xtreme counters with snake eyes on the top turn buckle!!!
Promo: What a move!!!
[Feeling the crowd, Chris unloads with a nice Michinoku driver!]
Promo: He's going for the win.
Referee: One... Two...
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: TWO!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Both men to their feet and the two start exchanging blows in the ring for a third time throwing caution to the wind. Chris Xtreme gives Derek Parks a stiff elbow to the face, and then drags him up the ladder.]
Promo: OH MY GOD NO!!!
KA-BOOM!!!!
E.D: Razor's Edge!
Crowd: [WOW!]
Promo: Fantastically extreme!
E.D: Chris Xtreme is on fire!
Crowd: This is AWESOME! This is AWESOME! This is AWESOME!
[With the momentum going his way, Chris Xtreme then goes for the cover, but only gets two count much to the displeasure of the crowd.]
Referee: TWO!!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: Parks counters and - look out!
[Derek does a suplex on Chris Xtreme over the knocked down ladder and covers him but he too only gets a count of two as well.]
Referee: TWO!!
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: Here comes Parks with some offense on Chris Xtreme!
E.D: Big time flying elbow connects!
Crowd: BOO!!!
E.D: What the hell is he doing here?
Promo: Drake Green has come through the crowd, and is now up on the apron, and is distracting Derek Parks. Sarah Richards is going crazy and look at her pulling on Drake's leg! [Promo points to Eric] Don't you dare say it!
Referee: Get off the apron!
E.D: Sidetracked by Drake's presence, Parks misses the GBU Stunner!
Promo: Xtreme connects with his Xtremer on the ladder!
Chris Xtreme: TURN AROUND REF!
[Green kicks Richards off his leg sending her smashing into the steel railing and jumping down from the apron to see if she's okay, the referee finally sees the cover.]
Referee: One... Two...
Crowd: THREE!!!
Promo: Chris Xtreme has just pinned Derek Parks!!!
E.D: Oh man, this feud between Parks and Green is getting way out of control.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by pin fall and advancing into the finals - Chris Xtreme!!!
Crowd: POP!!!!!
[With Sarah Richards still not moving, Drake gives the "X" side with his arms and a bunch of BACW back-stagers come barreling through the curtains.]
Announcer's Table
Promo: An unfortunate ending for such great match but rest assured folks, this isn't going to be last time we are going to see Derek Parks inside the ring with Drake Green.
E.D: Forget about the match! Sarah Richards is hurt bad!!!
Promo: It's called Karma Eric.
E.D: If she doesn't return I might have to buy this pay per view on TV. Do you think they will censor her girly bits part?
Promo: I have no idea.
E.D: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
[As Eric's head hits the table the Host continues with the show...]
Promo: Well as E.D. wallows in his own filth, it's time to see who will join Chris Xtreme in our main event. Let's go to the ring!
Semi-Finals - Ethan Brody vs. Spectre
[We join our match already in progress...]
Stuffher: And finally! Entering the ring, this Spectre!
Crowd: BOO!
Promo: Seems like Spectre hasn't made too many friends in BACW huh?
E.D: Don't hate Spectre just because your wife has a poster of him hanging in your bedroom.
Promo: How the...
E.D: Don't ask and I won't tell.
Referee: Ring the bell!
[Right off the bat Spectre attacks Brody as he gets into the ring but Ethan turns it around on Spectre and whips him into the ropes. Off he goes for a hip toss but Spectre blocks by lowering his hip.]
Promo: Spectre counters out of the hold!
[The two square off again, and this time Ethan nails Spectre with a series of loaded right hands.]
E.D: Ethan's going right for that ugly mug!
[Brody then throws Spectre into the top turnbuckle but Spectre answers back with a series of right hands that sends Ethan out to the floor with a THUD.]
Crowd: [OH!] USA! USA! USA!
Promo: Charging the apron from inside the ring, Spectre follows up with baseball slide under the ropes!
E.D: NO!
Crowd: [WOW!]
E.D: Ethan moves out of the way and Spectre crotches himself on the bottom rope.
[Dragging Spectre from the ring, Ethan then slams his arm into the guardrail and pulls out a table!]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
E.D: Kick to the balls by Spectre and tossing Ethan into steel stairs the war veteran arches his back in pain.
Crowd: USA! USA! USA!
Promo: Spectre slides the table into the ring but as he turns around, he eats a series of rights and lefts!
E.D: Brody suplexes Spectre onto the small mats and then he tosses some more weapons into the ring.
Crowd: YEAH!!!
Promo: It's time to get extreme!
[Brody then grabs a trashcan and blasts Spectre in the head with it.]
THUNK!!!
Crowd: [POP!]
[Ethan nods to the crowd as they continue to cheer him on.]
Crowd: USA! USA! USA!
Promo: Brody tosses Spectre into a sawhorse and zooming in we see blood on Spectre's forehead.
E.D: Do you know when that happened?
Promo: I assume it's from the last match.
[Back in the ring, Ethan lights up Spectre up with a kendo stick and then he stomps on wrist trying to break his opponent's arm. Tying Spectre in the ropes, Ethan picks up the kendo stick again and...]
Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack!
WHACK!!!!!!!!
[...goes wild!]
E.D: Spectre's turning into a bloody mess!
Promo: I can barely see his face!!
[Brody wedges a trashcan in between the top and middle turnbuckle and unhooking a blood soaked Spectre, and then whips him into it in the corner with a CLANG!]
Crowd: [OOOO!]
[Ethan charges looking for the extreme spear but Spectre moves and Brody slams into the trashcan head fist!]
E.D: Are they now cheering for Spectre?
Crowd: [DAMN!]
Promo: I think so! I think the crowd is starting to get behind the blood covered heart freak!
Crowd: SPECT! SPECT!! SPECT!!!
[Spectre picks up a cookie sheet and blasts Brody with it repeatedly and now Ethan is busted open as well. Spectre leg drops the cookie sheet on Ethan and then he goes for a DDT but Brody counters with a release northern lights suplex.]
[BOOM!]
E.D: He's going for a table!
Promo: Ethan sets up the table in the corner and then he picks Spectre up.
E.D: NO!
Promo: Spectre pushes Ethan away and hits him with a big kick to the mid-section.
E.D: Hold on folks, this one's coming to a head!
[Spectre whips Brody into the opposite corner, and charging in, Brody gets his foot up!]
[TWHACK!]
Promo: Spectre catches the foot and then kicks Brody square in the privates!
Crowd: BOO!
E.D: And just like that he lost the fans.
Promo: Spectre goes for his Sweet Dreams finisher but Brody blocks it, spins, and then hits a Belly-to-Belly Suplex!
E.D: Brody's calling for his finisher but he better pay attention to Spectre!
Crowd: [Screaming at Brody to turn around]
E.D: Low blow from behind by Spectre!
[Rummaging through the weapons, Spectre hold up a lighter and fluid...]
Spectre: FIRE!!!!!
Crowd: [Mega POP!!!!]
Promo: Spectre is lighting a cookie sheet on fire and look out!!!
WHA-PAAAAHHH!
[The Freak nails Ethan with the cookie sheet and then unloads with his finisher!]
Crowd: One! Two!!
Referee: THREE!!!
Promo: Spectre has now advanced into the finals!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the contest by pin fall - Spectre!
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: Certainly a great match by Spectre but tell me Eric, what did you think about Ethan Brody?
E.D: Ethan Brody is going places and if I were him, I wouldn't worry about losing in this tournament.
Promo: As Spectre recovers inside the ring, Chris Xtreme has just limped through the curtain and hold onto your hats because when we return we are going to find out just who will be BACW's 2013 King of the Deathmatches. We'll see you in a few.
WOOOSH!
[Run commercial for Last Rites coming to pay per view in July...]
Announcer's Table
[We re-join our telecast as Chris Xtreme's music starts to play...]
["Always" by Saliva fills the arena as the lights go out throughout the arena. Red lights then appear around the stage area and Chris Xtreme makes his way to the ring. When he enters the ring, red pyros go off from the ring posts.]
Stuffher: Now making his way to the ring, hailing from Fajardo, Puerto Rico, weighing in at 160lbs, representing the Ultimate Authority, Chris Xtreme!!!
[Limping into the ring as an exhausted Spectre continues to recover, the referee calls for the bell and the finals of the King of the Deathmatches begins.]
Promo: Here we GO!
KoTDM Finals: Spectre vs. Chris Xtreme
Referee: Ring the bell!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
[Chris Xtreme starts taunting Spectre as the crowd cheers on Spectre.]
Crowd: Let's go Spec-tre! Let's go Spec-tre! Let's go Spec-tre!
[The two lock up and faking the collar tie, Xtreme slaps Spectre dead in the face.]
Crowd: WOOO!
Promo: [Pointing to the hand mark on Eric's face] Looks like you two have something in common.
E.D: Very funny!
[As the announcer's continue to bicker, Chris works the left arm of Spectre, goes into a side headlock, takes his back and then gets in a quick takedown in the broken glass.]
Promo: Xtreme has an ipad!
CrAcK!!
[Xtreme pounds the device again into the head of Spectre and getting in his face to mock the Purple Hair Freak, his arrogance allows Spectre to lock on a head and arm triangle.]
WhAcK!
Crowd: OH!
E.D: Holy Betty Crocker! Cookie sheet to the head!
[Stunned, Xtreme powers up but Spectre pulls the hold tighter forcing a big takedown.]
Crowd: [Stomping feet on the ground.] ...
Promo: Huge reaction from the crowd.
CLAnG!
E.D: Spectre with a hip toss onto an abandon shopping cart!
[With the place coming apart at the seams, Spectre hits an arm drag scoop slam combo on Chris Xtreme and picking up a stack of light tubes, waits for Chris to get to his feet.]
KA-Snap Crackle POP!!!
Crowd: YEAH!!!!
Promo: Baseball swing to his opponent's head and Xtreme goes face first into a nest of fire ants!
[With the pesky critters now out of their glass container, Xtreme stumbles to his feet trying to remove them from his hair.]
E.D: Irish whip into the corner...
THUD!
E.D: And here comes Spectre with a full head of steam!
BOOM!
Crowd: OH!
Promo: Spectre misses a body splash and Chris Xtreme dumps him to the outside with a back body drop.
[After a few whips into the railing, steel stairs and apron, Xtreme pushes Spectre back into the ring and unloads with a trio of big right hands. Pushing Spectre off the nylon, Chris catches Spectre with an keyboard shot from hell.]
Promo: The keys fly everywhere and could we have a repeat champion?
E.D: Xtreme lies out off the second turnbuckle!
THUNK!
Crowd: NO!
Promo: Chris Xtreme misses a head butt from the second rope and staggering to his feet, Spectre fires back with a big barbwire clothesline.
[Wrapping another strand of barbwire around his chest, Spectre connects with a splash from the second rope, hooks the leg.]
Promo: Spectre's going for the win!
Referee: ONE! TWO!!
Crowd: THREE!!!
Promo: NO! Chris Xtreme kicks out!!
Crowd: BOO!
E.D: Xtreme exposes a turnbuckle and he's taping a pair of brass knuckles to it!
Promo: He wouldn't!
[Pulling Spctre to his feet with both hands, Chris sends him face first into the knucks and Spectre starts to bleed from his nose. Again! Again! Again! Spectre's face begins to fall apart and with his blood splattered all over the ringside audience be collapses in place.]
E.D: Xtreme is going for another Irish whip but this time he has a flaming table set up.
Crowd: FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!
Promo: Spectre counters the whip!
CRRRRRACCK!!!!
Promo: Black Hole Slam through the flaming table connects!!
Crowd: YEAH!!!!! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
Promo: Spectre has Chris Xtreme up for his Sweet Dreams finisher, but instead of finishing him off, drops him down, shakes his head and points to a taser gun!
E.D: Spectre bends over for the taser and...
Spectre: What the?
E.D: Xtreme rollups him up from behind!
Referee: ONE! TWO!!
Crowd: NO!!!!
Referee: THREE!!!
Promo: Chris Xtreme has done it again and is now the only person in NWA History to win King of the Deathmatches two years in a row!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Your winner of the match and King of the Deathmatches - Chris Xtreme!
E.D: Spectre was on move away from getting another shot at the NWA World Heavyweight championship and because of his greedy desire to use that damn taser gun, he lost.
Promo: Well it was clear from the start that Chris Xtreme's mindset was to win at any cost and repeat as the first back to back King of the Deathmatches winner.
E.D: Goal achieved!
Promo: Fans that's all the time we have for now... On behalf of Mr. Batee, the NWA, BACW and all the regions represented here tonight! We bid you good night from Newark, New Jersey!
End PPV.
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