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My Name is Terence Damn It!
[We open the show by fading into Badass Championship Wrestling & National Wrestling Alliance Owner Mr. Batee's office. Zooming in, we can see he's sitting behind his desk shuffling through some paper work as a knock is heard.]
[Knock! Knock! Knock!]
Mr. Batee: [He looks up...] Come!
[The door opens as Terence Harris walks in with a worried expression on his face.]
Terence Harris: You wanted to see me?
[Mr. Batee stands up and points to a chair sitting on the other side of the desk.]
Mr. Batee: Please have a seat.
Terence Harris: Mind tell me what this is all about?
Mr. Batee: We need to talk about a few things...
[Entering the owner's office Terence closes the door but before he can make the short walk across the office to the chair Batee motions back...]
Mr. Batee: Get the door, we need a bit of privacy.
[With a swing, the door shuts and Terence finally takes a seat. With a sigh, Mr. Batee opens a drawer and pulls out a plain manila folder. He sits it on the desk, opens it, and reads through one of the pages.]
Mr. Batee: It seems that the legal department of the NWA has noticed a little bit of a discrepancy in the paper work you signed for Wrestlebowl, and now for Thesz as well.
[Terence's face scrunches in confusion.]
TH: Discrepancy? What kind of discrepancy?
Mr. Batee: Well Kalib, it seems that you signed these contracts as Terence Harris.
[Still confused, he looks over the contract and nods.]
TH: Yes sir I did.
Mr. Batee: Well you've said yourself, your legal name is Kalib Mohammad.
[Nodding as if he understands now, Terence puts the paper down.]
TH: Yes sir, my legal name was changed to Kalib Mohammad when I converted to islam about ten years ago. But Terence Harris is still my legal alias. It is in all my paper work and Tom Gorgas and Jon Darkstar were supposed to give that information to the NWA - I guess they didn't.
Mr. Batee: Ok, even so, we need that information or I can't pay you for Thesz and I'm afraid I'll have to ask for the money back from Wrestlebowl.
TH: I promise I will get you the paper work before the beginning of the Thesz. I have to get the information from Tom too but please understand that this is a completely legal contract and I will get the information that shows it is.
Mr. Batee: Ok, but if I don't have it before the beginning of Thesz, I'm going to have to find a replacement for you in that tournament. Understood?
[Terence stands up and extends his hand for a handshake.]
TH: I understand fully.
[Terence turns around and walks to the door. He opens it, but before exiting, he turns back towards Mr. Batee and says...]
TH: Batee... I'm winning that tournament and whether anyone likes it or not, I WILL become the next NWA World's Heavyweight Champion.
Mr. Batee: Dreams are like assholes Kalib, everyone has them.
[Under his breath...]
TH: No wonder everyone thinks you're an asshole...
Mr. Batee: Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!
SLAM!
Mr. Batee: And don't you ever slam one of my God damn doors again!!! Fucking WCCW hicks! Now, where was I... Ah yes, placing a call to my extra special secret mystery man!
[Fading from our owner we kick the show off by injecting our television audience into a sea of BACW extreme mania!]
Play promo package
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A! [Echo]
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W-!
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[Cue in video clip and ignite pyrotechnics.]
[BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!]
Paul Prominski: Hello everyone and welcome to our August pay per view show Behind Blue Eyes and we coming to you live from the Palace at Auburn Hills located right here in the most violent city we could find, Detroit Michigan! I'm your host Paul Prominski aka The Promo Machine and what an action packed evening we have for you tonight!
Crowd: We love Kra-ven! [clap clap clap-clap-clap] We love Kra-ven! [clap clap clap-clap-clap] We love Kra-ven! [clap clap clap-clap-clap]
Promo: On our last show, we saw Ryan Corey sneak into BACW's Battle Royal Thesz qualifier, impersonate Mr. Batee's masked mystery man, and ultimately steal a spot in this month's NWA Lou Thesz Memorial. Rumor has it that Mr. Batee is very hot, and guarantees his newest hitman for hire, will indeed be here tonight! And not only will be here here, but he also will make a huge impact! Who can it be? Well, many believe it's the return of Darrel Besolve, while others are speculating that it could be the legendary Mega Freak! As of right now, I don't have a clue, but before I forget, let's welcome my partner in crime, the guy doing the color, and the man who thinks that streaking through an elementary school only holding a piece of chalk is funny, "Easy E" Eric Danger!
E.D: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Instead of a piece of chalk you should have said yard stick duchebag! Anyway, what's this show without an annoying pencil headed geek like you?
Promo: I love you too Eric.
E.D: Only if you're receiving and someone else is driving.
Promo: You know we could go back and forth all night but let's do these fans a favor stay with this mystery man Mr. Batee says will be making his appear sometime tonight.
E.D: All I know is that the guy signed a six year deal and has a 17 year old pimply faced manager.
Promo: So we can rule our Darrel Besolve?
E.D: And the Freak as well.
Promo: Give me your best guess...
E.D: "Absolute" Lee Riel!
Promo: That would be something to see him back inside the ring again.
E.D: No shit Sherlock!
[Paul shuffles his papers...]
Promo: Fans this card is stacked and with a main event like Azrael verses Spectre for the BACW Championship, it's no wonder this place is packed to the gills!
E.D: This feud has been simmering for well over a year and I'm happy to see Spectre has finally gotten the shot he deserves. Now whether or not he can handle Azrael is a completely different story.
Promo: Well Spectre did say Azrael was flesh and blood just like him and the champion responded by breaking the fourth wall in an interview he cut a few days ago.
E.D: It's definately a train wreck in the making.
Promo: To say the least... And speaking of train wrecks... In our co-main event it's a man who's going through a messy divorce, Jack Kraven who will defend his NWA World Hardcore title against a man who many thought was simply too old.
E.D: I don't think guys like Ronnie McNeil get old...
Promo: Then what's the deal with this mutli-time World champion?
E.D: Fact of the matter is that people lose interest in the older stars, but if McNeil could win this title tonight, perhaps he could make one more run at the world title.
Promo: It's certainly a possibilty.
[Pffpt]
Promo: Did you fart?
E.D: Can't prove it!
Promo: No but I can smell it!
E.D: Whoever smelt it...
Promo: ENOUGH!
E.D: Fine...
[Shaking his head the Host continues...]
Promo: Empire State Championship was supposed to be next but I have been told that the champion Talon Wilkinson has showed up without his gear.
E.D: Rumors say he's retiring but I just think he's scared of Mike Barnes.
Promo: Well remember, Michael Barnes is a former football star who made the transition into the MMA world before coming to BACW and he's very motivated. Achieving much success before even stepping into the ring, he got mixed up in The Uprising and this made some think he was a one trick pony. Bottomline, if I were Michael Barnes, I wouldn't put to much stock in the rumors or what people think... Afterall, we are in BACW Eric.
E.D: No doubt.
Promo: NWA World Champion Magnum Randell to lock horns with Jermey King and what's your take on this one?
E.D: My take is that since defeating Mr. Batee at Wrestlebowl, King has been black balled and held down by Mr. Batee but tonight if he can get the one, two, three over Magnum, that all could change.
Promo: And opening the show, we will crown a brand new number one contender for BACW's Heavyweight title as Matt McClain, Wayne Smith, Ryan Corey, and Chris Ross all battle it out in a ladder match!
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: Folks, that's our card from start to finish... and now it's time to turn the reigns over to our ring announcer Michael Stuffher.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Michael Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The Palace at Aubrun Hills and welcome to Behind Blue Eyes!!!
Crowd: [POP!]
Stuffher: Our opening contest is scheduled for one fall and will yield us a brand new BACW number one contender. High above the ring, there is a contract and the first person to grab it, will be the winner.
Crowd: [POP!]
Stuffher: And now for the introductions... In this corner, Wayne Smith!
Crowd: [No reaction from the crowd]
Promo: Who?
E.D: I thought I farted again.
Stuffher: In this corner... Ryan Corey!
Crowd: [POP!]
E.D: One appearance and they love him already?
Promo: Welcome to BACW Ryan.
Stuffher: Entering the ring, Matt McClain!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: Well at least he knows Lashiel is clapping.
E.D: I don't think that slapping noise is clapping.
Stuffher: And finally, welcome back to BACW... "Crazy" Chris Ross!
Crowd: [POP!] You're hardcore! You're hardcore! You're hardcore!
E.D: And folks, believe you me... he's crazy with a capital "C"!
Promo: Indeed he is...
Referee: Ring the bell!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Promo: The referee has called for the bell, it's time for our pay per view to begin and here we GO!
BACW #1 Contenders Match
Chris Ross vs. Wayne Smith vs. Ryan Corey vs. Matt McClain
[Firing out of the box, Ryan Corey takes out Smith, McClain and Ross early on with a combination of leg sweeps and sucker punches.]
Promo: I can't believe what I am seeing!
E.D: Neither can I.
[Nodding his head, it's Ryan with a side kick to Matt McClain but Smith takes him from the blindside with a head scissors takedown.]
Crowd: WHOA!
[Smith then catches a furious Ross with a kick to the knee cap and down goes the big man for a second time.]
Promo: McClain is already on the ladder and...
E.D: This can't be good!
[BOOM!]
[Smith pulls him down and he comes crashing to the canvas with a sit out powerbomb. Shaking mad, it's now Ross with shots to Smith in the corner and winding up, he executes a springboard suplex using the ropes.]
[THUD!]
Promo: You knew it was only a matter of time before Ross got his motor running.
[Inside the ring, Ross then trips up Corey on the other corner and while he's down, sends Matt face first into the corner with a thump!]
E.D: Here comes the tree of woe!
[Ross then drops Corey down into the tree of woe over McClain and this one's about to get ugly. Backing up and then rumbling across the ring, full steam ahead, Ross unloads with a double dropkick to both.]
Promo: It must be the weight Ross lost that is now allowing him to do things inside the ring I didn't think were possible.
E.D: Well if people thought he was only a brawler, they are going to be very surpised after seeing him in this match.
Promo: Ross has the ladder set up and he's going for the contract!
[As the action continues, McClain gathers his thoughts and pulls Ross down from the ladder with a big crash as suddenly Lashiel appears yelling for him to get up.]
Lashiel: Mister Matt! I here Mister Matt!
E.D: What is that retard doing here?
Promo: Please don't call him that!
[Wobbling to his feet, Ryan Corey gets a dazed McClain wrapped up in the ring apron and gets in a few cheap shots while Smith is now on the ropes! Corey pulls him down to his shoulders as Smith is sent into Ross who is now up on the top rope.]
Promo: Here comes the pain!
[BA-BOOM!]
Promo: Ross crashes to the mat with a thud!
E.D: Here comes Smith!
[Leaping into the air, it's Smith with a standing Shooting Star Press over the back of Ryan and with the crowd on their feet, catches Ross as well.]
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: Ross growls and raking the eyes of Smith is back up on the ladder.
E.D: I don't think Wayne Smith is that hurt.
[Wandering around the ring with blurred vision, Smith pulls Ross down by the shorts and continues the assult with a series of spin kicks knocking Ross from the ring!]
Promo: Discus punch sends McClain and Corey to the floor and what's Smith doing now?
[CRash!]
Crowd: WOW!
E.D: Corkscrew dive onto Ross and Corey on the outside!
Promo: Wait a minute! Look Who is back in the ring...
[Quickly looking to end the match, McClain is back on the ropes, and drops down on Ryan with a double axe handle.]
Promo: Smith won't give up!
E.D: Smith hits a springboard dropkick and with both men down, Corey is now climbing up the steel ladder to the top.
Promo: Ross staggers upright and begins choking Matt McClain with one of the camera cables!
Lashiel: Mister Matt!!!!
E.D: Ross releases the hold and he's going to get back into the ring.
[Lashiel jumps to the apron and is now holding Ross' leg who is perched on the top rope.]
Promo: Ryan Corey is crawling up the ladder and is almost at the top.
[Climbing the opposite side Wayne Smtih is now up on the ladder too and is making his way to the middle. Going under the ring and getting another ladder, McClain is climbing too.]
E.D: Who's going to win?
Promo: It's anyones match right now!
[McClain kicks Smith down to the mat below and the crowd boos.]
Crowd: BOO!
[Chris Ross now has his own ladder and is now climbing near McClain hoping to get to the contract before the Crippler.]
E.D: Who the hell is that?
[Leaping the railing from the crowd, a fan dives into the ring and pushing McClain's ladder, the Crippler begins a 20 foot free fall.]
Spanish Announcer: Holy Snake Eyes!
Pablo: Quidado!!!!
[CrAsSsssH!!!!!!]
[Through the Spanish announcer's table with a sick sadistic thud goes McClain and peering over the ropes with a huge smile on his face, it's Dan Easton with a huge smirk on his face.]
Promo: That must be Mr. Batee's serect surprise mystery wrestler! My God! "The Divine" Dan Easton has touched down and signed a BACW contract!
E.D: Are you shitting me?
[Still battling on at the apex of the ladders, Ross reaches over and finally kicks Ryan Corey away sending him down to the canvas with a SPLAT! Pulling down the contract, the referee signals for the bell as Chris Ross is sitting on top of the ladder as our new number one contender.]
Referee: Ring the bell!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Your winner of the contest and new number one contender for the BACW Heavyweight championship - "Crazy" Chris Ross!
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: Wait a minute!
[Diving into the ring with a steel chair, Lashiel barely misses Easton's head and rolling from the squared circle, Dan hits the bricks before any damage can occur. Seeing Matt in the rubble, Lashiel immediately starts to tend to the now bloody superstar.]
Lashiel: Mister Matt... Please wake up... Mister Matt! MISTER! MATT!!!!!! NO!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!
[Fading from the gruesome scene we run a commerical for the Lou Thesz Memorial before turning the show back over to our announcers.]
***Run Commerical for Thesz***
Promo: Folks we are back from the break and I for one can say, I don't know when and if we will ever see Matt McClain in a BACW ring again. Once one of the most dominate forces here in the Mid-Atlantic region, it seems like everytime this guy comes back, something or someone ruins his return.
E.D: Well I can say this, if McClain returns, Dan Easton might regret the day he sign his name on the dotted line.
Promo: And with our first match in the books, let's bring you back up to ringside for your next contest.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Non-Title
Magnum Randell vs. Jeremy King
Stuffher: This next bout is a non-title match and is scheduled for one fall with a Thirty minute time limit.
Crowd: [BOO!]
Stuffher: Already in the ring, this is Jeremy King!
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: Predictions?
E.D: PAIN!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: And now entering the ring, he is the National Wrestling Alliance World Heavyweight Champion - "The Ladies Man" Magnum Randell!
Crowd: [Bigger POP!]
[Dancing down the isle and entering the ring, Magunm sheds his title as the referee calls for the bell.]
Referee: Let's get it on!
[The match starts with Randell sliding to the outside of the ring and grabbing the leg of King but Magnum slides back into the ring, and kicks King down into the corner.]
Promo: King is just too eager to get this one going.
E.D: I agree, he's got to settledown.
[Returning to the action, it's Randell who connects with a couple of kicks to the gut, and then throws King into the middle of the ring with a textbook hip toss. Closing in fast, the champion mounts the challenger and unloads with a series of punches until the referee breaks the two apart.]
Referee: That's a closed fist!
Magnum: [Demonstrates an open hand] ...
[Randell then transfers his energy to the knee of King and locks in an ankle lock submission.]
Promo: It's much too early to try to win!
E.D: I disagree!
Promo: Why?
E.D: Because the champ needs start wearing down Jeremy before he gets the momentum going his way.
[Back towards the action, King finally escapes, and tries to battle back with a slew of forearms. Jeremy mounts Magnum and goes to return the favor with punches in bunches. Pulling Randell from the canvas and sending him into the corner with a thud, King sets up for the running knee, but Randell counters by moving out of the corner.]
Promo: King hit really hard!
E.D: Knocked the wind completely out of him.
[Stumbling backwards, King is dazed as Randell drills him in the side of the head with his patented super kick. Scaling the ropes and leaping high into the air, Randell connects with his frog splash finisher, and this match is over!]
Referee: One! Two!!
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: Ring the bell!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Promo: That's it?
E.D: And the Mr. Batee steam roll of Jeremy King's career goes on.
Stuffher: Your winner of the bout by pinfall - Magnum Randell!
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: That took all of what 10 minutes?
E.D: I already stated my opinion and if I were Jeremy King, I would begin piecing my career back together again by first apologizing to Mr. Batee for the ass whipping he gave him at Wrestlebowl.
Promo: Well there is one thing you have forgotten Eric...
E.D: Breath mints?
Promo: No! The fact that King still holds a valid contract to face the NWA World Champion when he comes to the Mid-Atlantic region.
E.D: That's if the champion is scheduled here again.
Promo: Very true... Folks, we have to take a break, but when we return, we will finally hear from Talon Wilkinson and listen to what he has to say about his up and coming title defense against Michael Barnes.
BACW Empire State Championship
Talon Wilkinson vs. Michael Barnes
[And just as the show is about to go to commerical, Talon's music hits and out comes the champion still dressed in his street clothes. Up the stairs and through the ropes, the champion calls for the microphone as the crowd settles in.]
Talon Wilkinson: Thank you all for allowing me to come here into this ring and do this "thing" the way I need to do it.
Fan: We love you Talon!!!!
Talon: I love most of you too.
Crowd: [Laughter]
Talon: Since I last came on the air, there has been a ton of talk as to why I must leave BACW and as I said before... It's simple... Time. I don't have the time to put into it right now. I don't want anyone to think there is a problem that is leading to me leaving, it's just that I can't do what I want to do here right now, and its my own fault... With that said, instead of coming out here and embarrassing myself or this title, Mr. Batee has agreed to allow me to go into the back like a man, and face to face, forfiet this belt to Michael Barnes.
Crowd: [BOO!]
Talon: Like I said, I'm sorry...
[Dropping the microphone and exiting the ring to a round of boo's, the crowd begins to toss trash and spit on the young superstar. Shaking his head, Talon parts the curtains and the show fades into the back to reform with Mr. Batee once again sitting at his desk laughing on the phone... That is until the door bursts opens.]
[BOOM!]
[...and in walks Jeremy King sporting a Mohawk. Taking the phone out of Batee’s hand King screams rudely into the phone...]
Jeremy King: He’s a little busy and will have to call you back.
Caller: But...
Jeremy King: I said he's busy!
[Frustrated, King throws Mister Batee’s iphone against the wall shattering it into several expensive pieces. Leaping up from his desk Batee shouts at the top of his voice.]
Mr. Batee: What in the God holy hell?!!! That’s the second dang phone you've destroyed this month!
[Pointing his finger at King...]
Mr. Batee: You owe me another FUCKING phone!!!
[Jeremy grabs Batee as he is barely able to hit the intercom on his desk.]
Mr. Batee: SECURITY! Somebody get your ass in here! Jeremy King is in my dang office breaking shit and...
[Interttupting...]
King: I have given you enough time to do the right thing now who in the hell has my daughter?! Tell me right now or I am going to continue to rip your promotion apart from the ground up.
[Mr. Batee looks around his office nervously...]
Mr. Batee: It was... [Batee searches for a name] It was... It was Barnes! Yeah that's it! It was Michael Barnes who put the teddy bear at the top of the entrance ramp.
[Releasing Batee's lapel King rolls his eyes and says...]
Jeremy King: Son of a bitch! I knew it!
[Hearing the truth, or what he thinks is the truth, King storms out of the office taking with him a steel chair as the camera fades back to the announce table.]
Promo: Ladies and Gentlemen it would seem that Jeremy King is officially on the war path.
E.D: If you ask me he's gone completely off the reservation.
[Back in the arena, “Cult of Personality” by Living Colour hits the PA System and Michael Barnes comes out onto the entrance ramp looking absolutely livid. Panning down, the camera picks up the Empire State championship belt that has been given to him from Talon Wilkinson.]
Promo: What is he doing out here?
E.D: Well just moments ago he was most likely handed the Empire State title due to a contract dispute and if you know Barnes like I do, you know he can't be happy about winning something he really didn't win.
Promo: My mother once say you shouldn't look a gifted horse in the mouth.
E.D: Your mother was... ah forget it... that's way too easy.
[Now inside the ring, Barnes calls for the micrphone and screams...]
Michael Barnes: Cut the damn music!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Barnes: Each and every one of you listen up because I am not going to say this again. "Nightbringer" Ryan Corey isn’t going to be the guy to walk out victorious at The Thez and he isn’t going to make it out of the first round. So wake up BACW becasue I am your only hope of seeing the title shot come right here to the Mid-Atlantic! And as for Talon... You're a punk ass bitch!
Crowd: [BOOOO!!!!!]
Promo: The fans don’t seem to like what he is saying.
E.D: Well he is putting down a legend like Ryan Corey and you can't expect them to accept it can you?
Promo: No, but he IS entitled to his opinion.
E.D: You know Batee says about opinions and asshole right?
Promo: Just listen to what the man has to say!
[Barnes paces back and forth around the ring with the Empire State championship belt in his hands as the crowd continues to stir with excitement.]
E.D: Barnes better pay attention to who's coming down the isle!
Barnes: You see I have done everything possible to...
Promo: Look out!
WHACK!!!
Crowd: OH!
[Sliding under the ropes, Jeremy King lays out Michael Barnes with a chair shot to the back and parting the curtains, Michael Davidson and Joshua Marcus immediately dive into the ring to save Barnes. Dodging the attack, Jeremy swings the chair connecting with the skull of one half of the tag champs and bailing from the ring, Michael Davidson slides out and pulls Joshua Marcus. Nodding his head and kissing the dented steel chair, Jeremy King straddles Barnes begging the two to re-enter just one more time.]
E.D: Jeremy King has lost it.
Promo: I agree, Michael Barnes finally got what he deserves.
E.D: Hold up! Michael Barnes is trying to get up.
[Barnes starts to get to his feet and King hits him with a sunset backbreaker.]
[BOOM!]
[Picking the chair back, King up he looks around to the fans and points to the chair. Recovering the microphone, he raises it up as a mixture of cheers and boos fills the arena.]
King: Michael Barnes you like to take little girls and scare them half to death don’t you? Well your little cronies can't save you now! So if you don’t return my daughter, I am going to cave your skull in right here and now!!!
Promo: Somebody get security out here.
[Jeremy slides out of the ring and smashes the chair down on the announce table sticking it by Promo’s face.]
King: Promo shut your mouth! See I hear you out here every week running your mouth acting like I have lost it and my daughter isn’t missing.
[Promo flinches and now back in the ring, Jeremy repeatedly smashing the chair down on Barnes.]
[BANG!]
[THUD!]
[CRACK!]
[CRUNCH!]
[Just then, security floods the ring and Jeremy tries to fight them off but he is finally dragged to the ground. And just when you think the tension couldn't get any thicker, out walks BACW and NWA Owner Mr. Batee to "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns n Roses.]
Crowd: [YEAH!!!!] Bats! Bats! Bats!
[The music is quick to cut off as Batee yells...]
Mr. Batee: King! HEY!!!! King!!! I'm going to warn you once boy... if you can’t control yourself then I will fire your ass right here and now! So before I do something you will regret, you best go home, and think about what you want to do because this is MY show motherfucker!!! And if you keep it up son, I will ban you from the Lou Thesz too!!!
[Forcing King up the isle and into the back, the camera pans to the announce table where Promo and Eric Danger sit in shock as Michael Barnes is tended to by the local physcians.]
Promo: Folks, I'm being told Jeremy King has been thrown out of the building but that he has an answer for Mr. Batee.
King: That was quick...
Promo: It certainly was but let's not waste any time, and get into the back where Jeremy King is standing by...
WOOOSH!
[Jeremy King paces back and forth outside the arena walking over to a nearby car he starts kicking at it and pounding his fist on the hood. Jeremy places his hands on his head.]
King: Tell me I won’t be at the Thesz? I will show him. I am going to be there damnit. I am going to make sure Magnum Randell retains that title so that I can be the one to take it off him. Threaten my job you can’t fire me I’m the best you have and you just won’t open your damn eyes.
[Jeremy lets out a scream as he pounds his fist on the car.]
King: Batee NWA’s spiritual guide is going to walk into the Thesz and I am going to walk out with your NWA World Heavyweight Championship and challenger’s blood on my hands. This is WAR!!!!!!
[Fading back to the announcers table, we see Miami's Most Wanted helping the doctors as Michael Barnes is being taken up the isle on a stretcher. Stepping forward Batee places his hands up and says...]
Mr. Batee: WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Where the hell do you two think you are going?
[Davidson and Marcus look confused...]
Michael Davidson: What the hell are you talking about Batee?
Joshua Marcus: Yeah!
Mr. Batee: Well the last I checked you two ass clowns were my BACW Tag Team champs and seeing as this is a pay per view, I think it's time you defend those belts.
[Shaking their heads, Miami's Most Wanted protests...]
Davidson: We are dressed in our street clothes!
Marcus: It's not our fault you didn't put us on the card!!
Mr. Batee: Well I forgot and because I'm not completely heartless, I have booked you in a handi-cap match with that man!
[Pointing into the ring, the crowd explodes as BACW's newest employee "The Instant Addiction" Kurt Chavez stands in the ring.]
Promo: Are you serious?
E.D: I never thought I would see that screwball in BACW again.
Promo: Is that Mr. Batee's super secret surprise mystery man?
E.D: I think the cat is finally out of the bag.
Mr. Batee: See, I hate that bastard inside that ring more than I hate you two idiots, so what better way for me to kill two birds with one stone than to give these fans a good old fashion southern ass whoopin! And Kurt, don't you EVER send a 16 year old snot nosed punk into my office to negotiate a contract with me again because as you can see, no one is smarter than me! I got you Chavez for six month! So make an impact Kurt, and if you drop the ball again in my region, so help me God, it will be the last time you appear inside an NWA region again!
[Looking into the crowd...]
Mr. Batee: So who wants to see Kurt get his ass kicked by Miami's Most Wanted?
Crowd: [POP!]
Mr. Batee: Then ring the bell!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Promo: I don't believe it and would you look at Chavez, he's actually begging the champions to get inside the ring!
E.D: The man has some serious issues.
BACW Tag Team Championships: Handicap Match
Miami's Most Wanted (c's) vs. Kurt Chavez
Promo: Issues or not, the bell has rung and here we GO!
[Signaling for the bell, the match starts off with Kurt and Joshua circling the logo. Diving in, it's Kurt with quick offense early on but Joshua stops him dead in his tracks with a boot to the stomach followed up by a nasty power slam.]
Promo: Quick tag to Michael Davidson!
E.D: Chavez with a low blow!
[Holding his back, it's Kurt with a big suplex into the corner and this allows Davidson to make the tag.]
Promo: Now that wasn't too smart.
[A still wobbly Marcus enters and he is quickly dropped to his back by a Chavez missile drop kick.]
E.D: Why is Chavez allowing the tag to be made again?
Promo: I don't think anyone knows why Kurt does what he does.
[Tag to Davidson who doesn't want to get into the ring and Chavez capitalizes the delay with a northern lights suplex into a bridge.]
Referee: One! Two!!
Crowd: THREE!!!!
Promo: Kick out and this one's going to continue!
E.D: Chavez argues with the referee and Joshua gets the tag but misses a wild hay maker.
[Chavez plants Marcus with a front slam and then begins to stomp a mud hole in his opponent.]
Promo: Chavez drops to one knee.
Referee: One! TWO!!
Crowd: THREE!!!!
Referee: TWO!
Promo: Kick out at two and folks, the tag champs look completely out of synch.
E.D: Of course they do! When is the last time they performed on a show?
Promo: Good point.
[Marcus bails out and grabs one of the tag titles but Chavez hits a baseball slide when he attempts to get back into the ring.]
Promo: Davidson has the belt now!
E.D: He's sneaking up from behind and he is about to hit Kurt with the title!
Promo: Who the hell is this?
[Just then a man never seen before in the Mid-Atlantic hits the ring to take the belt away.]
E.D: Who the hell is that?
Promo: I don't know but he just stopped Kurt Chavez from getting drilled with that belt!
[Turning around, Davidson starts to argue with the person when from behind Chavez rolls him up for the one, two, three!]
Promo: Are you kidding me?
E.D: And the night just keeps getting stranger and stranger.
Referee: Ring the bell!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Your winner of the contest by pinfall, and NEW BACW Tag Team Champion... Kurt Chavez and ...
[Grabbing the microphone and rolling from the ring with the belts high in the air, Kurt says...]
Kurt Chavez: Someone who I'll be introducing the next time I'm on BACW TV!
[Dropping the microphone on the ramp, Miami's Most Wanted can do nothing but wonder how in the world they lost their belts to one man.]
Not in MY House!
[We are taken backstage to the locker room of Jack Kraven. Jack, already half-way dressed in his wrestling gear, is sliding on one of his knee pads as the dressing room door swings open. Startled and alerted by the sudden swing of the door, and always having to be ready for anything at a moment's notice, Jack immediately jumps to his feet to a fighting stance. It's Eric Fancourt.]
Jack Kraven: JESUS! You ass hole! Scared the shit out of me!
Eric Fancourt: Sorry.
Jack Kraven: Did you find out where he is?
Eric Fancourt: Nope. Even for talent and staff, they try not to let Batee be too accessible. You know, with Chris Ross around security is as tight has Hanna Montana's asshole.
Jack Kraven: Don't stop looking. I want to talk to that troll face to face.
Eric Fancourt: What's the urgency?
Jack Kraven: Did you not hear what he said last month? Did you really not notice?
Eric Fancourt; Umm...no?
Jack Kraven: Motherfucker probably thought I wouldn't be paying attention. Certainly thought I wouldn't remember. And if not either of those two, he obviously doesn't think I have balls enough to do anything about it.
Eric Fancourt: Jack, I have no idea what in the sam shit you're talking about!
[Jack grabs a remote off the counter, and clicks "play." The LCD television mounted in the corner of the room, just below the ceiling, displays an image of the BACW and NWA owner, Mr. batee, on the screen from BACW's previous PPV extravaganza, American Bad A**]
Mr. Batee: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold the pickles hold the lettuce! Are you're saying NO to ME? Are you saying no to someone who has the power to make and break your career? Mr. Hawkins I caution you. I can be your best friend....or your worst enemy. Come on son, you need someone like me if you want Spectre out of your life. Think about all the superstars I created! Darrel Besolve! Mike Cavenaugh! Jeremy King! Even Jack Kraven!!! Well maybe not Kraven because to be honest he’s really not a star yet but...
[Rewind]
Mr. Batee: -Cavenaugh! Jeremy King! Even Jack Kraven!!! Well maybe not Kraven because to be honest he's really not a star yet but...
[Rewind]
Mr. Batee: Even Jack Kraven!!! Well maybe not Kraven because to be honest he's really not a star yet but
[Rewind]
Mr. Batee: not Kraven because to be honest he's really not a star yet.
[Jack continuously is pressing rewind and play, rewind and play.]
Mr. Batee: not Kraven because to be honest he's really not a star yet.
[Almost in a trance-like state at this point, Jack reaches to rewind it yet again. Fancourt intervenes.]
[Rewind]
Mr. Batee: not Kraven because
[Fancourt snatches the remote.]
Eric Fancourt: STOP! OK! I get it! Batee's an asshole, what do you expect?
Jack Kraven: I'm the NWA Hardcore Champion, and the number one contender in the world. I demand respect from the man making millions off my sweat and image. Now Eric, it's like I said: you find that piece of shit. And you let me know the second you do. Do I make myself clear?
Eric Fancourt: Jack I know technically, I'm...like, an employee of yours now, and everything. But I think sometimes you forget, we've been friends for nine years...I'm not a flunky. I don't mind working hard, and doing what you ask, but you need to stop talking to me like I'm some little bitch...
[Jack stares blankly at Fancourt. Fancourt is clearly expecting some sort of apology, or at the very least, a reply.]
Eric Fancourt: Well?
Jack Kraven: It was a yes or no question, Eric.
Eric Fancourt: Huh?
Jack Kraven: DID I MAKE.........MYSELF.........CLEAR?!
Eric Fancourt: You know, sometimes you're a real piece of shit yourself, Jack.
[Eric storms out, presumably to complete his task as instructed. Jack nonchalantly goes back to the business of applying his knee pads, as we cut back to the booth.]
Jack Kraven: I may not have gotten the NWA's attention by winning this world hardcore championship, but after I tear Ronnie's balls from his crotch area and turn him into Shasha Grey, then everyone will finally see that fucking dead serious about becoming the next NWA world champion...
[Snapping his knee pad up...]
Jack Kraven: No matter what!
[Back at the announcer's table, we can see Promo and E.D. shaking their collective heads.]
Promo: Eric, it's his home town and probably one of the biggest matches in his entire life but the question I have is this... Is the pressure from being one match away from his dream too much for Jack Kraven to handle?
E.D: He seems a bit on edge but isn't this the type of pressure that determines whether or not you are in that upper tier of the business or not?
Promo: I suppose but when you're put up against someone like Ronnie McNeil who has nothing to lose it just doesn't seem like Jack has a snowballs chance in hell of winning.
E.D: Only time will tell.
Promo: Well the time is now so let's go up into the ring for our NWA World Hardcore Championship introductions.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
National Wrestling Alliance World Hardcore Championship
Jack Kraven (c) vs. Ronnie McNeil
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest is scheduled for one fall and will be for the NWA World Hardcore Championship!
Crowd: [POP!]
Stuffher: Already in the ring, he is the challenger... Welcome the former multi-time NWA World Heavyweight champion and future hall of famer - Ronnie McNeil!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: And his opponent, coming down the isle from right here in Detroit, Michigan - the current and reigning National Wrestling Alliance World Hardcore Champion. Ranked number on in the world by the NWA... He is Jack Kraven!
Crowd: [Mega POP!]
Promo: What a huge reaction for Jack!
E.D: Someone forgot to send Ronnie the memo because here he comes!
[Ronnie fires away with chops on Kraven and tossing him into the corner chest first with a thud. Stumbling backwards Jack dodges a rear naked choke attempt and rubbing his chest, Ronnie doesn't give him a chance to breath by dropping kicking Kraven through the ropes and onto the apron.]
Promo: Look out!
E.D: McNeil with a clothesline!!!
[Ronnie comes through the ropes and it's Kraven who fires back with elbows, but Ronnie pushes him away.]
Crowd: Jack! Jack! Jack!
Promo: The crowd is still very pro-Jack.
[After a brief battle both men are back in the ring and Ronnie walks off dodging a second rope elbow drop attempt by Kraven. Back to his feet, it's Ronnie turn on the offensive as he unleashes an atomic drop and senton splash combo.]
Crowd: [OH!]
[Rake to the eyes puts Jack in control and he immediately follows up with some right hands but Ronnie levels him with a big elbow to the mouth.]
Promo: What a back and fourth match with neither man giving ground!
E.D: It's all about pride Paul and both men have a ton of it.
[Ronnie with more quick offense with a big kick to the chest and knee drop over Kraven and this stops the champion dead in his tracks. Following up with headbutts to Kraven... Ronnie then props him up on the top turnbuckle.]
Promo: Ronnie winds back and connects with a big chop.
E.D: He's going for a muscle buster!
Promo: NO! Kraven holds onto the ropes.
[Putting on the brakes breaking the hold. Leaping from the turnbuckle, Kraven connects with huge springboard dropkick!]
Promo: Both men are down.
[As the referee counts both men down, they slowly get back up and immediately start to exchange punches.]
Crowd: YEAH!
Crowd: NO!
Promo: With everyone blow, the crowd boo's for Ronnie and cheers for Jack.
E.D: The battle lines have been drawn!
[Kraven gets the advantage with a quick scoop slam and second rope leg drop combo on the challenger. Pulling Ronnie off the canvas, Kraven plants him face first into the logo with a nasty DDT.]
[BOOM!]
[Ceasing the momentum, the champion unloads with a shoulder block and then a slingshot DDT from the ring apron over Ronine. Playing to the crowd, this gives Ronnie time to recover and as he gets up, Kraven catches him with a huge kick to the head.]
Crowd: [DAMN!]
[Reaching down to get Ronnie upright, the challenger connects with a low blow!]
Crowd: [OUCH!]
[Following up, Ronnie pulls off a thrust kick to Kraven's chest and crippling to the canvas, and the crowd begins to chant "THIS IS AWESOME". Not letting up, Ronnie brings it with big slaps to the back of Kraven but Kraven jams a thumb in Ronnie's eyes and offers up a powerbomb in return!]
Promo: McNeil just won't stay down!
E.D: I told you it was all or nothing for this NWA legend.
Promo: He's going for the cover!
Referee: ONE! TWO!!
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: NO! TWO!!
Promo: Ronnie gets a two count, but rolls Kraven over and applies the STF!
E.D: Kraven is biting Ronnie's fingers!
[With no choice but to release the hold, Kraven retreats into the corner and is followed by a Ronnie McNeil running knee that whacks his head into the second turnbuckle. Backing up again, Ronnie runs in looking for a big splash but Kraven rolls from harms way and it's now Ronnie who is hurt.]
Promo: Someone has to run out of gas first!
E.D: I just don't know who it's going to be.
Promo: Nasty kick to the head by Kraven and this puts the champion back in control.
[With Ronnie dazed and confused, Kraven runs at Ronnie and drops him in his corner slam spot. Rolling to his back, Ronnie allows Jack to apply his rear full nelson jack attack finisher.]
Promo: Jack attack! Jack attack! JACK ATTACK!!!!!!!!
E.D: Ronnie is caught dead center in the middle of the ring and this one's over!!!!
Promo: Jack pulls back going to the canvas, locks his legs around Ronnie's body, but Ronnie is still trying to reach for the ropes.
[Jack arches back one final time and it allows McNeil to grab the second rope.]
Promo: Jack's shoulders are on the mat and the referee doesn't see Ronnie on the ropes!
Referee: One! TWO!!
Crowd: THREE!!!
Promo: Oh my God!
E.D: Ronnie McNeil has just shocked this entire capacity crowd!
[Releasing the hold and staggering to his feet, Jack cannot understand why the crowd is booing. Inside the ring, Ronnie McNeil and Jack Kraven are spent after their match with Kraven sitting upright in the corner and Ronnie now hanging off the ropes with the championship belt in hand.]
[Cue Cult of Personality opening riff...]
Promo: You have to be kidding me? I thought he was banned from the arena!!
E.D: Clearly King is scheduling his own television time.
[Jeremy King sprints down the ramp and diving into the ring with a steel chair in hand as the NWA crowd jumps to their feet filling the arena with boos, King blasts Ronnie with the chair.]
[THWACK!!]
E.D: Jeremy King just laid out what's left of Ronnie McNeil.
[Jeremy turns around still holding the chair and running towards the still seated Kraven, and slams it into the former champions face. Kraven crumbles up in the corner and sliding out of the ring, the former member of The Uprising grabs a microphone.]
Promo: Both men are lying in a heap in the ring and I really think security needs to be called down here before someone gets killed.
E.D: Clearly King STILL has something to say and until he does, I don't think anyone is going to come down here to save anyone this time including Mr. Batee.
[Jeremy slides back into the ring holding the mangled chair in front of Jack Kraven as he lies in the corner.]
King: Screw me at Thesz huh? Screw me at this pay per view too right? Well I'm out here right now because I have nothing to lose and to tell everyone in BACW that I deserve to have that shot you were just given tonight Ronnie!
Promo: King has truly snapped this time.
King: This was my chance and you stole it from me!! That hardcore belt belongs to me you piece of shit! You hear me now you mother fucking asshole?!!!!
[Crashing the chair into Ronnie's face for a second time, the champion quivers in place as Jeremy paces around the ring. Suddenly stopping dead in his tracks, King picks up the NWA Hardcore title in the same hand he holds the chair in.]
King: This title is meant to be around my waist as a stepping stone! That's right, I said it! A stepping stone! See like I said at the last pay per view event, I am NWA’s spiritual guide and my spirit will not rest until every title in this alliance is on my shoulder!!!
E.D: This is getting a bit out of hand... Not even I want to hear this idiot babbling anymore... and I like idiots!
[Jeremy kicks at Ronnie who is still struggling to shake off the effects of a brutal chair shots.]
King: You thought you had seen the last of me? You thought Batee could black ball me forever?!!!! You thought I would just walk away tonight and take my ultimatum with a smile? Well, I realized I couldn’t just walk away. I am something more than a savage out for people’s blood. I am still their champion!
[Jeremy drops the chair and hoists the NWA Hardcore title high into the air.]
Crowd: [POP!]
[Looking into the camera without a microphone King says...]
King: Take a look at this belt and take your pictures now because in the near future this is what you are going to see. I am going to hold the title and there isn’t a damn thing Ronnie McNeil can do about it! Oh, and Ronnie! Just so you don't forget my name...
[Jeremy turns, picks up McNeil, and hits him with a sunset flip backbreaker onto his mangled steel chair.]
King: My name is JEREMY KING!
[Throwing down the championship belt, we head to a commerical break for The Lou Thesz Memorial.]
The Fucking Punchline
Azrael: "It's a funny thing...about the Spectre. He wants to be in everyone's heads, wants to think of himself as some master manipulator getting under everyone's skins so that he can cling to some misbegotten conception that he's relevant."
A sigh.
"Sad thing Spec is that it's been so long since you've been relevant that most no one left even remembers when that time was. All they see now is the clown, the fool, the pathetic man parading about with his geriatric pet spewing words left and right while trying to look shocking to get attention."
Another sigh. Longer. Deeper.
"It's sad really."
"Look at me Look at me I'm the SPECTRE! Look at my Heyna, look at my angst, look at my pain, look at my stupid pathetic desperation. Look at my purple hair...don't I stand out? Oh please please please don't forget me, I was the BACW champion twenty thousand times, I've fought in nine million deathmatches, made one hundred thousand rookies bleed, all while eating a Coney Island Hotdog and jerking off to sad sappy music that no one fucking cared about when it came out, let alone now. Don't you see me? Aren't you scared of what I can do? BOW to me motherfuckers, BOW to the Spectre, I'm just so fucking smart and so fucking god that NO ONE WILL EVER DARE DEFY ME!!!"
[Laughter...]
"Yeah, okay Spec, we see ya buddy, hard ta miss ya with that shocking mass of purple follicles sticking up outta your head. Still hiding that gray, ain't ya? Wouldn't want the world to know how old and broken down your pathetic ass is."
The laughter's gone, we're all about being serious now.
"Let's get on thing straight you Killer Clowns from Outer Space reject, Ringling Brothers groupie, Cirque de Solie wannabe, Joker imitating son of a bitch. This ain't clown college, this ain't the Greenwich village where the jesters roam with their white faces and their pantomimes of life. This is BACW, this is WRESTLING by GAWD, and you are a fucking pantomime of a wrestler, the crown prince of foolish folly. You Spectre, are the joke, not the joker, hell, you're the fucking punchline. We might as well call you Chris Ross and call it a day."
[Black]
[Static]
Promo: Fans, the medical team has just carried out Ronnie McNeil and with one more match to go, one can only wonder what violence we are going to see.
E.D: I agree, Azrael verses Spectre is going to be intense.
Promo: With nothing to lose, get into the ring for our main event.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Main Event: BACW Heavyweight Championship
Azrael (c) verses The Spectre
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is our main event of the evening and by special order of Mr. Batee will be held under anything goes rules!
Crowd: [POP!]
Stuffher: Coming down the aisle with his pet hyena Johnny is the challenger... Weighing in at 282 pounds, from the Deepest Corners of Your Mind, this is, The Spectre!!!
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: Spectre has been on a Tweleve month campaign to get to this point and the funny thing is it's against the man he hates most.
E.D: If Spectre was smart, he wouldn't leave anything on the table.
Promo: I completely agree.
Stuffher: And now for the champion! He is the current BACW Heavyweight Champion and only wants to be introduced as Azrael!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Stepping into the ring and throwing his belt onto the logo, Azrael pierces the challengers skin through his mask with his cold steel blue eyes.]
Referee: [Points to Spectre] Are you ready?
Spectre: [Nods]
Referee: [Points to Azrael] Are you ready?
Azrael: [Gives the middle finger]
Referee: Let's get it on!
Promo: The referee calls for the bell and the two lock up and jockey for position.
[Azrael gains the advantage and kicks and punches Spectre down into the corner with ruthless agression. Spectre tries punching back but Azrael hip tosses him into the center of the ring. Azrael then misses a leg drop but counters a Spectre clothesline with a roll up.]
Referee: One! TWO!!
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: TWO! Continue the match!!
Promo: The two trade pins until Spectre clotheslines Azrael over the top rope and down onto the small mats.
E.D: I'm shocked that Spectre is moving so fast in the ring!
Promo: I have never seen this side of him before.
[Over the top rope and down with a double axe handle, Spectre covers Azrael for a two count but the champion gets his should up in time. Tearing Azrael off the canvas, Spectre punches him around ringside before deciding to go for a clothesline, but Azrael ducks under it. Out of harms way, the champion comes back by using the barricade for a near fall but Spectre kicks out at the count of one. Pulling the challenger to his feet, Spectre fights back with a few kicks and goes for a suplex, but Azrael blocks it.]
Crowd: NO!
[Yanking upward, Azrael barely gets Spectre up with a sit-out front suplex for a near fall outside the ring!]
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: TWO!!
[After a brief exchange of punches the two get back into the ring and Spectre regains the momentum with ten solid chops in a row. Azrael does the no sell and dumps Spectre over the top rope with a clothesline once again. Following him to the floor, Azrael beats Sepctre down at ringside and takes in the boos from the crowd.]
Crowd: Fuck you Azrael!
[Furious at the fan, Azrael backs up and hits a running knee to Spectre’s face, sandwiching him into the barricade.]
Azrael: [Turning back to the fan] NO! FUCK-YOU!
Promo: We have a press!
Referee: One!
Crowd: TWO!! THREE!!!
Promo: TWO!
E.D: Kick out by Spectre!
[Growling at the referee, Azrael covers Spectre again for another near fall and the crowd chants, “You can't pin him” and Azrael flips out.]
Promo: Running kick and punches all reign down on Spectre and if he can't pin him, Azrael is certainly letting the fans know he can beat him down.
E.D: Reminds me of my last relationship.
Promo: What?
E.D: Well it all started when...
Promo: Nevermind.
[Lifting the challenger, Azrael crotches the larger Spectre on the barricade and clotheslines him into the crowd.]
Promo: Is there someone in the crowd dressed like Spectre?
E.D: And you thought I had issues.
[Pouring on the pain, Azrael sends Spectre into a wall and covers for a near fall.]
Promo: Shoulders to the floor!
Referee: One! TWO!!
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: TWO!!
Promo: It's getting heated and as this match continues on, how much gas does Spectre have in the tank?
E.D: If he's smart, as much as it takes.
[Feeling the end is near, Azrael throws Spectre over the barricade and as he goes back over to ringside, Spectre hits him with a steel chair right in the fucking face!]
[WHAM!]
Promo: Spectre's going for the win!
Referee: One! TWO!! THRE...
Crowd: THREE!!!
Promo: He did it!!! He won!!!
E.D: NO! The referee says two and this match will not end.
[Off the small mats and pulling the champion by his arm for an Irish whip, Azrael reverses the hold and throws Spectre into the steel steps with a knee crunching thud!]
[BOOM!]
[Rolling his injured opponent back into the ring, the crowd boo's the champion and nodding his head Azrael points to the ropes once again looking to add insult to injury. Taking a worn out Spectre by the head, Azreal throws the challenger out of the ring, and look out!
Crowd: WOW!
Promo: Corkscrew Suicida onto Spectre!
E.D: How in the world did Azrael pull that off?
[CRAAASH!!!]
Crowd: Damn!
E.D: Did he just follow it up with a springboard moonsault off the barricade?
Promo: Azrael is pulling out all the stops and folks, Spectre is big man who doesn't look like he has a third gear.
E.D: Much like myself, this capacity crowd just might be look at the last match in Spectre's long career.
[Still on the outside, Azrael throws Spectre into the ringsteps with another nasty BANG!]
Crowd: OOOH!
[Taking hold of Spectre's massive tree trunk like leg, the champion stretches out Spectre's already suffering knee and with ruthless agression, drives both feet into the joint in the opposite direction.
[Craaack!]
Spectre: ARGH!!!
[Spitting on the purple haired freak, Azrael then grabs the ringbell and slowly pulls himself up onto the apron. With the referee putting on the 10 count, Azrael ingores the man in stripes and dives off the top turnbuckle!]
Promo: Here comes the paaaaaain!
[Firing down like a lightening bolt released directly from the hands of Zeus himself...]
[CrUnCH!]
Spectre: FUCK!!!
E.D: The bell collides with Spectre's half working knee and this looks like it could be it!
Promo: Azrael still needs to beat the 10 count and get Spectre into the ring.
E.D: I don't know why, it's an anything goes match!!!!
Promo: Maybe the referee is drunk?
[Barely getting Spectre's massive frame into the ring, Spectre reverses the Irish whip and Azrael is thrown into the ropes. On the rebound, the champion grabs holds and springboards into a backflipping body block onto Spectre!]
Promo: He's going for the press!
Referee: One! Two!!
Crowd: THREE!!!
Promo: Kick out by the challenger and this one's going to continue!
E.D: Azrael can't believe it but inside the back of his evil mind he has to know that Spectre's knee is completely shot.
[Growling at the referee and speaking in tounges, Azrael goes after Spectre's knee again tying him onto the tree of woe. Backing up and then racing forward, the champion dropkicks the knee forcing the challenger's eyes to roll into the back of his head.]
Promo: Oh Jesus he's coming our way!
E.D: Move over Paul!
[Tearing the monitors from the announcer's table, Azrael rolls back into the ring and begins to beat the hell out of Spectre with the device. Spectre's head cracks open like a cheap pinata and as the blood spurts from his head, Azrael bends down to drink it like a water fountain.]
Crowd: You're hardcore! You're hardcore! You're hardcore!
Promo: I think I'm goin to be sick.
E.D: In all my life, I have never seen anything like Azrael, and I hope to God I never do again.
Promo: Oh my gosh, he's spitting the blood into the crowd.
E.D: Is that even legal?
[Back inside the ring, Azrael wipes Spectre's crimson from his jowels with his forearm and chopping Spectre down from the tree of woe, locks in a match ending figure four.]
Referee: Do you give up!
Spectre: Ye...
Referee: Yes?!!!
Spectre: NO!!!!
Azrael: Imma gonna snap your knee in half! GIVE!
Spectre: Fuc.. FUCK!!!!
Promo: Spectre has NEVER submitted in his entire career and for Azrael to do this would mean clear and total domination of the purple hair freak!
E.D: Rake of the eyes by Spectre but releasing the hold, Azrael seems to be even more angry.
[Unable to get Spectre to submit, Azrael goes ABSOLUTELY APESHIT POSTAL with a chair to the knee he'd been working on. As the hinges snap sending it flying through the air in pieces, as many of the ringside fans begin to fight for the random souveigners.]
Promo: Spectre is out cold, laying in a pool of his own blood, and I just can't see this one going much longer.
E.D: Paul, I don't know if he's even alive.
Promo: What is this crazy bastard doing now?
[With Spectre's knee now stretched out on a three stacked chairs, the blood stained Azrael climbs the turnbuckle and looking into the crowd of BACWmania, holds up the BACW Heavyweight title high!]
Crowd: Jump! Jump! Jump!
Azrael: THIS SHIT IS OVER!!!!
[Without looking back into the ring, Azrael leaps into the stratosphere of extreme and as he comes down with the belt in his hands...]
[Ka-mother-fucking-CRACK!]
[... a crippling Spectre swats him out of the air like a fly with one of the steel chairs.]
Crowd: WOW!
Promo: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!
Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!
E.D: It's now of never for Spectre!
[Crawling with one hand like the Terminator with the BACW belt in his hands, Spectre is barely able to get a hand on the ankle of a quivering champion. Falling to his knees, the referee pounds the canvas...]
Crowd: One! TWO!!
Promo: I don't believe it!
E.D: I'm in complete shock too!
Promo: Spectre has once again won the BACW Heavyweight crown!!!!
Referee: THREE!!! Ring the bell!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, after 1 hour and 15 minutes of grueling and gruesome action... Your winner of the bout and NEW Badass Championship Wrestling Heavyweight champion! The Spectre!!!
Crowd: Spec-tre! Spec-tre! Spec-tre!
Promo: History has been made and this pay per view has officially seen the changing of the guards here in the Mid-Atlantic region of the National Wrestling Alliance. Congratulations to Spectre and all the other champions for making this one of THE most historic nights in BACW history! I'm the Promo Machine and on behalf of BACW, Mr. Batee, and The National Wrestling Alliance, I bid you good night from the Palace at Auburn Hills!
E.D: Peeeeeace!
[Static}
Disclaimer:
The following has been paid for by Sudden Impact. The views expressed in this next segment are the views of Jay Jousma, and are not necessarily the views of BACW or the National Wrestling Alliance.
[Cut to black and white screen, we see NWA's "Rising Star" Jay Jousma sitting in front of us. He is wearing a red and black "Sudden Impact" Basketball Jersey, and black shorts, and is once again sitting on a couch in front of a presumed laptop webcam to cut this promo.]
Jay: Konichiwa bitches. Jay Jousma here, otherwise known as the greatest professional wrestler of all time; more commonly known as "The Rising Star". So honestly I must say I'm a little stumped... BACW’s Behind Blue Eyes, huh? And so close to the Lou Thesz Tournament? What gives there? I just don't understand it. I mean, is there anything left of these guys after what I just saw tonight? BACW might have some heart, but when it comes to saving up their strength, they clearly have no brains.
[Jay looks down at the screen as if he is pondering something.]
Jay: If the BACW 'society of freemasons' as I like to call them, due to their limitless amount of title shots, when nobody else in the Alliance receives them; are all going to be a bit worn out by the time the Lou Thesz Memorial Tournament rolls around at the end of the month... So, all these guys who have hopes and dreams of impressing this Brad Batee... whoever the hell that is, is it Mr. Batee's brother or something? I don’t know whatever... Anyways all these guys in the BACW who have hopes and dreams of impressing this Brad Batee character are going to go up in smoke. I mean yeah, sure either Kraven or Randell will be walking out of The Thesz with the strap, but it will not be long after that. It's not going to be long that I of course plow through all of my inferior competition, seven other competitors, to become the number-one contender for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. BACW's stranglehold on the World Title Picture is going to be coming to an end. Whoever it is, Kraven or Randell... after I go out there at the Thesz and remind everyone once again that I am better than anyone in that tournament, I'm bringing the fight to the champ, and I'm gonna take MY title back.
[Jay chuckles a little, pausing for effect.]
Jay: But I'll tell you BACW fools what's what. I understand that if, no... when I win the Thesz; I am awarded a title shot in my home promotion, correct? Well, fuck it. WCCW's got SuperTerence running around saving the day with his North American Title, and an NWA World Title match wouldn't get the attention it deserves, even if myself, Fury and Gorgas all pushed for it to happen that way. So I was doing some thinking...
[A sinister yet cunning grin appears on Jousma's face.]
Jay: How great would it be, if I could venture into the cesspool within this alliance that I hate most, and beat the top guy in the company, on his home turf, taking the NWA title with me back to Texas?
[The smile broadens on his face.]
Jay: Come to think of it... that’s a great idea! I haven't had an idea like that in quite some time. That way not only can I show the world that the talent in the BACW is completely and totally full of shit, but I can crush the guy waving the company flag in front of all of his moronic, unshowered fans! That’s a helluva good idea!
[Jay brings the camera in closer to him, his face taking up the entire frame.]
Jay: I guess that means you heard it here first, folks. WHEN I win the Lou Thesz Tournament, well... whoever it is between Kraven or Randell, I’m coming to your home turf to embarrass the fuck out of you, and take back what's rightfully mine, the National Wrestling Alliance World Heavyweight Title. The era of the BACW guys hogging the spotlight will come to an end, and justice will be served!
[Static.]
end PPV
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