|
|
BACW: Free Per-View
[With the channel tuned in, the free per view audience sees Mr. Batee who is in his office covering his face with his hands. Stretching his head backwards over the rear of his chair, and looking upward towards the heavens, he talks aloud to the man upstairs as his massive security guard looks on.]
Mr. Batee: Even from the depths of death you stab at thee don't you Mr. Chavez?
[Shaking his head, Batee then looks downward before saying...]
Mr. Batee: ...But mark my words Kurt Chavez... I will find a way to entertain these fans if it's the last thing I do!
[Wiping a lone tear from the corner of his eye, Mr. Batee shakes off his melancholy replacing it with a rough tone...]
Mr. Batee: Ok listen up and listen good...
Security Guard: YES SIR!
[Opening up a small packet of Alka Seltzer into a glass of water the NWA/BACW Owner continues...]
Mr. Batee: I hired you because I don't want to deal with ANY crap tonight!
[Rolling his eyes, he gazes over at the hole in the door, broken pieces of his office, puncture hole in the ceiling and everything else that was caused in the last few months by Lashiel Logan's "presents".]
Mr. Batee: Whatever you do, don't let anyone into my office!
Security Guard: YES SIR!
Mr. Batee: [Under his breath] And especially that walking buffoon Chris Ross! Now get out there and make sure no one disturbs me!
[The Security guard nods his head, and leaves as Mr. Batee begins to drink his Alka Seltzer.]
Mr. Batee: Oh good Lordy... This is one of those shows where I just simply know nothing good is going to come out of this. In fact...
[Just then a familiar booming voice is heard...]
Chris Ross: BAAAAAATTTEEEE!!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!!!!
[Startled in seat and with water streaming from his nose Batee cries out in shock...]
Mr. Batee: Don't you dare let him in here!!!!
[From beyond the locked door you can hear a muffled but firm voice say...]
Security Guard: You can't go in there Sir.
[Then there is nothing but silence... until...]
[CRAAAAASH!!!]
[The Security Guard goes flying through the door and tumbling head over heels into Mr. Batee's office the owner exclaims...]
Mr. Batee: What in the God dang hell!!!
[Dusting himself off, Ross casually picks himself off the floor like nothing has happened.]
Chris Ross: Really Batee? You thought one security guard was going to stop me?
[Face palming himself over and over again, Mr. Batee lets out a huge sigh.]
Mr. Batee: Same old routine huh?
Ross: What?
Mr. Batee: You know Ross... You break my office door down, I hear you scream like an idiot, and then something bad happens to me as a result of Lashiel's idiocy. I'm bored with your humor so without the dog and pony show; let's get on with it... What do you want?
[Chris Ross takes a deep breath.]
Ross: Alright Batee... I get it... You don't like me... I know how it is.
Mr. Batee: Chris...
Ross: You never liked me.
Mr. Batee: Mr. Ross...
Ross: You never wanted me to make it as big as I am now!
Mr. Batee: Chris would you...
Ross: I get it.
Mr. Batee: First of all I do not...
Ross: [Interrupting Batee] You have this personal vendetta against me.
Mr. Batee: Can I get a word in?
[Ross stops and finally allows Batee to speak.]
Mr. Batee: Look, I have a long night ahead of me and...
Ross: SHUT UP BATEE! YOU WILL SPEAK WHEN I AM DONE!!!!
[Mr. Batee sighs and tossing his Alka seltzer into the trash, immediately grabs his bottle of Scotch.]
Mr. Batee: NO YOU SHUT UP ROSS!!! For months I have put up with your disrespect of me, but trust me when I say, you are treading on some very thin ice right now.
Ross: Okay relax...
Mr. Batee: ME?!
[The owner rolls his eyes and pours an even bigger glass of scotch...]
Ross: Look, its plain as day that you don't want me as your champion.
[Biting his lip Batee responds...]
Mr. Batee: That's why I put you in that last match right? Knowing what was in that briefcase I put you in a match that would grant you booking power and you say I wasn't prepared for you to be my BACW champion?
Ross: I don't know about all that...
Mr. Batee: Of course you don't because THAT actually makes sense!!! You know this is why I drink right?
Ross: Whatever! Well if you're right then why am I here on the biggest night of my life being told my match is cancelled?! HUH?!
[Taking a deep breath before speaking...]
Mr. Batee: Okay... Look... For once I can actually understand why you're upset but what am I supposed to do?! It's not my fault Kurt Chavez died!
[Gripping his temples and the fact that Batee is actually starting to make sense Ross takes a seat.]
Ross: Okay Batee... Fair enough... How about throwing me out there against anyone for the title? It's a simple solution right.
[Spinning around in his chair...]
Mr. Batee: Mr. Ross you know damn well I can't do that.
Ross: See, this is what I'm talking about!
Mr. Batee: This isn't a you verses me thing it's a time thing.
Ross: You're kidding right?
Mr. Batee: I'm under time constraints and we're having the Kurt Chavez's funeral in place of your match.
[Ross' face turns bright red as the tiny little rubber band in his head snaps...]
Ross: So let me get this straight... I came from my beach house out in Hawaii to New York for ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!? This briefcase that I hold means absolutely nothing!!! NOTHING!!!
Mr. Batee: Mr. Ross calm down... because I need you to ask a favor.
Ross: I should slap the crap out of you...
Mr. Batee: If you touch me I will remove that contract from your possession and kick you the hell out of BACW and trust me when I say, you will NEVER come back!!! Now as my number one contender, I demand that you pay your respects to Kurt Chavez...
[Ross stands there with a blank emotionless look on his face.]
Ross: Batee... I couldn't give any less of a rat's ass about Kurt Chavez! Fuck him! I never liked the guy in the first place! You want this contract? Fine! Fire me! Go ahead because there is not fucking way...
[Pounding his fists on the desk...]
Mr. Batee: God dang it Ross! Do you not have a heart at all?! Someone just died and all you can do is think about yourself?!!
[Ross smiles from ear to ear nodding his head...]
Ross: Batee... Haven't you figured it out by now? I don't give a fuck about anyone except myself! As a matter of fact, I will go as far as to say I hate people in general!
Mr. Batee: [Under his breath] Now that's not surprising....
Ross: I don't like talking to people! I don't like being around people! In fact, I even hate meeting new people!
Mr. Batee: Then why in the God dang hell are you in my office every damn show?!
Ross: You fucking act like I want to.
[Pointing to the area that contains a pile of fragmented pieces of Batee's office...]
Mr. Batee: The five broken doors over there say otherwise!!!
Ross: I break your office door down because you avoid me like the plague!!!
Mr. Batee: YOU ARE...
[RIIING!]
Mr. Batee: Give me a second...
[Suddenly Ross grabs the phone from Batee's hand answering it.]
Ross: CALL BACK LATER!!!!
[SLAM!]
[After hanging up, Ross rips the phone cord out of the wall and chucks it to the other side of the room smashing it into pieces.]
Mr. Batee: Now what did that solve?!
Ross: I don't know...
[Ross looks at Mr. Batee with a look of pure fire in his eyes.]
Ross: You made me waste my airline miles, and my god damn time for nothing! You could've just called and told me to not even bother showing up at the god damn arena since Kurt Chavez died and my match was cancelled!
Mr. Batee: You were already on the plane!
Ross: Always with an excuse Batee!
Mr. Batee: Right now Mr. Ross, be thankful you still have a brief case.
[Ross grabs Mr. Batee by his collar ripping him out of his chair.]
Mr. Batee: Get your hands off me!!!
Ross: You listen to me Batee... You don't realize what you have in this federation! You've had Outlaws, Spectre's, Messiah's, Snake's, Immortal's, and even whatever the fuck Lee Riel was supposed to be but you've never had a phenomenon... And I am The Hawaiian Phenomenon...
[Through gritted teeth Batee says...]
Mr. Batee: Let me go or the only thing you will be is phenomenally fired...
[Opening his fist the owner falls from his massive grasp...]
Ross: You listen to me Batee... And you listen good... I know what you're thinking... You are thinking that you can't have a company with me as the champion and you have been doing everything in your power to prevent that! Well Batee, I suggest you accept it because the day I cash this brief case in will be the day your worst nightmare comes true! Then MAYBE you will learn the name is Chris Ross... DON'T YOU FORGET IT!!!
Mr. Batee: Are you done!?
[Ross turns around storming back to the doorway.]
Ross: Yeah I'm done! Fuck you! And fuck this company! I'm going back home! I got a couch to sit on and a pair of nuts to scratch!
[Ross says storming out of the office. Slowly the security guard gets up groaning.]
Mr. Batee: You leave and you're fired! You hear me? No more briefcase! No more nothing! Walk out that door and you walk out of BACW for the LAST time! I expect you to be in that ring Mr. Ross! I expect you to think outside the box and pay your respects! DO YOU HEAR ME!!! DO YOU GOD DANG HERE ME!!!!
End Free Per View
In Memory of -
"The Instant Addiction" Kurt Chavez
02-01-1980 to 05-31-12
[As the image of Kurt Chavez dissolves off the screen, the cable blocks go up for the first time as we open our pay per view show with "The Instant Addiction's" coffin inside an all black ring. In the corners of the squared circle, we see both friends and family of Kurt Chavez ready to celebrate the life of the BACW Heavyweight champion. From inside the ring, Mr. Batee who is now present calls for the bell to be rung ten times.]
Mr. Batee: Ladies and gentlemen in attendance, and wrestling fans from all over the globe, please stand has we have a moment of silence for our BACW Heavyweight champion Kurt Chavez...
[The entire arena goes silent as the bell rings out...]
[Ding!]
[Ding!]
[Ding!]
[Ding!]
[Ding!]
[Ding!]
[Ding!]
[Ding!]
[Ding!]
[Ding!]
Mr. Batee: Thank you...
Fan: WE LOVE YOU KURT!!!!
[Clearing his throat Mr. Batee segues into the ceremony...]
Mr. Batee: And now without further delay, it's my pleasure to introduce to you, Kurt's brother Eric Stevens.
Crowd: [POP!]
Eric Stevens: Thank you...
[Settling into their seats, the crowd simmers to a slow boil...]
Promo: Were they close?
E.D: Well it's no secret these two had their share of disagreements but this is a time of reflection so I don't think we will hear any bad words being said... And by the way, did I mention what a great name Eric is?
Promo: Really?
E.D: Just saying...
[Tapping the microphone Stevens begins...]
Eric Stevens: You know, I was pretty apprehensive about actually doing this in Madison Square Garden, but I know that this is just the way Kurt would've wanted it.
Crowd: [POP!]
Eric Stevens: To be remembered in public in the most famous arena in the world, how fitting. How... Kurt Chavez.
Crowd: [BIGGER POP!]
Eric Stevens: My brother never took the easy way out; he never did things by the book. Kurt was always up for the challenge of being dramatically different than anyone else. He went out of the way to forge his own path and that is what made him who he was. There will never be another Kurt Chavez.
Crowd: Thank you Kurt! Thank you Kurt! Thank you Kurt! Thank you Kurt! Thank you Kurt! Thank you Kurt! Thank you Kurt! Thank you Kurt!
Promo: I can't say I'm surprised by the reaction here tonight in the Garden.
E.D: Of course you're not, Chris Ross is getting screwed by a dead person and no one even cares.
Promo: Please show some respect!
[Eric hangs his head down as the crowd continues to chant "Thank you, Kurt!" over and over again. This brings the smile back to Eric's face and he steps back up to the podium.]
Crowd: Thank you Kurt! Thank you Kurt! Thank you Kurt! Thank you Kurt! Thank you Kurt! Thank you Kurt! Thank you Kurt! Thank you Kurt!
Eric Stevens: For those of you who are gathered here today, from the fans, to the staff, to all the wrestlers in attendance, I want to thank you. Some of you were going to be here regardless, but others went out of your way to come and help lay to rest one of the greatest wrestlers of our generation.
Crowd: [POP!]
Eric Steven: At this time, I encourage anyone to step forward and share any stories or instances that you shared with Kurt. This isn't a time for grieving; it's a time of remembrance.
E.D: I'm getting up there and telling this crowd how pissed off I am that Chris Ross is being treated like a dog!
Promo: You will do no such thing!
[And before Danger can exit his position, from behind Eric Stevens comes Valerie Vondelane.]
Promo: It's Kurt's ...uh... baby mama right?
E.D: I have another name for her and it begins with a "W" and ends with an "E".
Promo: [Shaking his head] ...
[After approaching the coffin, she takes the mic from Eric, and lowers it to adjust for the massive height difference.]
Valerie Vondelane: Kurt Chavez was a terrible person.
Crowd: [BOO!]
E.D: Once a hoe always a hoe.
Valerie Vondelane: Please hear me out... There was nothing redeeming about him or his personality. He was selfish and egotistical, yet somehow we all loved him.
[Pause...]
Valerie Vondelane: He was born to play the villain in our lives but he died a hero. Despite his rough exterior and his well documented drug issues, he always made sure to take care of the people he loved the most.
Crowd: Who's your daddy? Clap Clap clapclapclap Who's your daddy? Clap Clap clapclapclap Who's your daddy? Clap Clap clapclapclap
Promo: I don't think this crowd is appreciating these comments.
E.D: Why? ...because she's telling the truth?
Promo: No, because it's not the time or the place to dig skeletons from the closet.
Valerie Vondelane: There was this huge media blitz about the ticket that he played in Vegas that everyone assumed he was betting on himself. I held that ticket in my hand as Jack Kraven pinned Kurt Chavez. Even in that defeat, Kurt was a winner. He must've known that he wasn't going to be able to defeat Jack, yet he put on one hell of a show for us. He never let anyone know that he hadn't given himself a snowballs chance. It was something he kept a secret all the way up until three minutes before the match when he handed me the ticket. He told me "If I win, I will come up with another way to support you guys. If I lose, this should take care of it." He took care of us even though we never asked for help. That's the kind of person he is. A terrible, vile, despicable, caring, loving, selfless human being. The only thing I regret is never being able to marry him.
[Suddenly Eric Danger jumps up from announcer's seat and screams...]
E.D: If that ticket is worth over a million I'll marry you!!!
Crowd: [Laughter]
Promo: Seriously?
E.D: I'm just saying it's better than sitting here watching Batee battle farm animals and retards twice a month.
[After side glancing Danger...]
Valerie Vondelane: I would've liked to have carried on that name of his...
[Valerie steps down and is quickly replaced by a man from the chairs that line the entrance ramp.]
Promo: Whoa! Check this out... It's none other than Samuel Monroe, former NWA prodigy.
E.D: His slicked back hair is just an indication of how much of an asshole this guy is too.
Samuel Monroe: I knew Kurt Chavez for a brief time. To be honest we only connected on a debaucherous level. He infamously stole my boat from me in a game of poker, but that score has already been settled. Kurt wasn't a great friend, but he did teach me something. I had never been without money in my entire life. Filthy rich, you could say. Yet each time we encountered one another, it was as if he was the richest man in the world.
E.D: How big do you think Val's breast size is?
Promo: I'm not even going to entertain you...
E.D: Man I would love to play motorboat with her.
Samuel Monroe: Eternally happy with the cards he had been dealt, pardon the pun. Even in death, he was always so accepting of what he was doing. I took the coward's way out after Chris Fury ruined my chances of winning the NWA title, thanks to him taking a nap with Cavenaugh on top of him. ... Maybe I could've worded that a bit less provocatively... doesn't matter. What Kurt did was the exact opposite of what I would have done. As soon as I found out about this cancer, I would've done anything to keep myself alive. He didn't. He wanted to die doing what he loved. He wanted to die in the ring, and had he lasted long enough I'm sure Chris Ross would've given him his wish. Tonight, I will raise a glass of whiskey to Mr. Chavez. He did what he loved, and he never backed down. Had a terrible poker face though...
[The fans clap as NWA World Hardcore champion Kai Kennedy now takes the podium.]
Crowd: You're hardcore! You're hardcore! You're hardcore!
E.D: Ready for the train wreck?
Promo: What are you talking about?
E.D: I think Kai has been drinking...
Promo: You don't know that!
Kai Kennedy: In my life, short as it has been so far, I have only had two great rivalries that have pushed me further than I could have imagined. I shared one of those great feuds with Kurt Chavez. I could push buttons and make fun of him, as I'm sure that many of you are thinking about doing, but I would like to take a moment to respect the man for what he has accomplished.
[There is a moment of silence...]
E.D: Last chance Val!!!!!!!!
Promo: Would you please sit down and control yourself!
E.D: Yeah like you wouldn't like to tap that mourning rack on heels.
Kai Kennedy: Kurt did what many men could not. Five times he attempted to capture the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. Four times he failed, but that one time…well, that one time Kurt cradled it in his arms, like a newborn babe.
Crowd: [POP!]
Kai Kennedy: He wore it proudly, until his dreams were dashed horribly on the stones of life. What then? Time goes by, and Kurt starts to dream big dreams of recapturing it. He goes on a war path, until finally he gets his chance. A chance to prove to that he really was the best man. A chance to prove to the Make a Wish Foundation that someone with cancer could really go the distance.
[He shakes his head...]
Kai Kennedy: And what happens? He failed to bring it home, and only managed to get the BACW title by sheer luck as the last entrant of Grinder. A consolatory prize for the runner up to being the NWA World Champion.
[Whispering under his breath...]
Mr. Batee: Careful Mr. Kennedy... be very careful.
[Long pause...]
Kai Kennedy: Sorry folks, I had shit in my ears... I guess this will always be a case of "always the bridesmaid" for Kurt, whose only real accomplishment was dying from something other than a drug overdose.
Crowd: [BOO!]
Mr. Batee: Okay, that's enough...
[Kai looks over to the titles that are on display.]
Kai Kennedy: I see the Honorable Wrestling Alliance title is on display here today. I don't think you'll need this anymore, Kurt.
Eric Stevens: What the hell?
[Kai motions to the back of the room, and Jack Kraven appears out of nowhere with a referee's shirt on.]
Crowd: [BOO!]
Kai Kennedy: I'm taking back what should have been mine all along, and there isn't anything your dead ass can do about it.
Mr. Batee: Okay guys you're going WAY overboard with this...
[Kennedy places his arms on top of the casket as Kraven counts...]
Mr. Batee: Don't you dare Jack!
Jack Kraven: ONE!
Mr. Batee: I'm warning you!
Jack Kraven: TWO!!
Mr. Batee: I swear to God...
Jack Kraven: [Blows a pretend kiss to Batee] THREE!!!
[Leaping into the air, Kennedy falls to both knees screaming into the mic...]
Kai Kennedy: I DID IT! I DIIIIIID IT!!
Crowd: ASS-HOOOLES! ASS-HOOOLES! ASS-HOOOLES!
[Inside the ring Mr. Batee is livid as Kraven hands the HWA title to Kai.]
Kai Kennedy: Don't worry about this little baby, Kurt. I think you've had enough fun in your life.
[Taking the microphone Batee is just about to scold The Dynasty members when suddenly a loud familiar voice comes over the PA.]
PA System: THE NAME IS CHRIS ROSS... DON'T... YOU... FORGET... IT!!!
Promo: And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...
E.D: Or any better!
[A huge explosion happens as "Phenomenon" by Thousand Foot Krutch begins to play over the speakers and Chris Ross comes out on stage with his brief case in hand.]
Promo: What is Chris Ross doing out here?!
E.D: Asking me that question is like asking me to smash an atom.
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Ross storms into the ring and smiles grabbing a microphone.]
Mr. Batee: Ross what in the hell do you think you're doing?! I thought you said you were going home!
[Ross smiles before he speaks.]
Chris Ross: You know, I was a little disappointed when I found out I wasn't facing Kurt Chavez tonight. So I stormed into your office ready to quit BACW forever.
Fan: Go back to Hawaii!
Ross: Then I came to my senses and took your advice... I began to think outside the box like my boss asked me to.
Promo: This has disaster written all over it.
Crowd: [BOOOOOOO!!]
Chris Ross: So I decided to read this contract.
E.D: HOLY SHIT HE CAN READ?!!!
Promo: Would you please control yourself!
[Ross opens the brief case and pulls the contract out.]
Ross: Well Batee...
[Eric Stevens dives out of the ring extremely pissed and starts mouthing all sorts of obscenities. Ross snaps and runs toward Eric and beats the hell out of him with the microphone to the point where Stevens is bloody and the audience starts to throw trash at Ross.]
Crowd: You suck! You suck! You suck!
Promo: This isn't the way Kurt wanted to go out.
E.D: How do you know? Did you ask him!? HAHAHAHA!
Promo: Like school on Sunday...
E.D: Huh?
Promo: No class!
[Rolling back into the ring and holding the bloody microphone to his mouth Ross continues...]
Chris Ross: See according to this contract, all I need to cash it in are the following... Myself? Check! The champion... Well there he is in that casket so check! An official BACW Referee...
Mr. Batee: Mr. Ross.
Chris Ross: Well, I see about seven at this funeral so check! And this contract! So check! I'M CASHING IN!!!
Mr. Batee: YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
Chris Ross: I know you people came to see Chris Ross face Kurt Chavez. Well...IT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN.
Crowd: [BOO!]
E.D: You know something?
Promo: What?
E.D: The pay per view could end right now and it would be worth every penny.
[Inside the ring, Kennedy almost stops Ross, but obviously has a change of heart as Kraven pulls him through the ropes.]
Jack Kraven: This is going to be better than The Best of Springer.
[Samuel Monroe gets back in the ring to get in the way and block Ross from getting to the casket but is met with a briefcase upside the head.]
[THUD!]
Crowd: [OH!]
[A sick smile comes across his face as he turns back to the rest of the wrestlers in attendance.]
Chris Ross: Anyone else want to give it a shot?
[Mr. Batee grabs the contract out of Ross' hands and looking it over says in an angry voice...]
Mr. Batee: I'm sorry, you can't cash in on someone who's dead.
Ross: Batee it doesn't state anywhere in the contract about it mattering if the guy is alive or not! So if you prevent me from cashing in, I got the right to sue your ass for breach of contract!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Stomping his feet around the logo...]
Mr. Batee: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Promo: Mr. Batee is completely irate and throwing his arms up into the air, I think he's going to allow the match to take place.
E.D: What's right is right.
Promo: BUT HE'S DEAD!
E.D: Not Ross' problem...
Chris Ross: Now everyone get the fuck out of my ring so I can win my title!
[The ring empties out clearly with everyone giving Ross dirty looks. Ross hands the contract to one of the referees...]
Mr. Batee: You're going to regret this Ross!!!
[Ignoring the owner's threat...]
Chris Ross: Keep it moving people!
[Chris starts to walk around the casket and at this point the audience is in near riot mode. Extra security comes out from the back to hold some boisterous members of the crowd back from getting in the ring.]
Chris Ross: Kurt? Can you hear me? You were always known as the guy who came up short. Always second place. Always a loser. I can't let you go down in history as your last match being a victory...it wouldn't be right.
[Chris spits on the casket, he kicks at the legs, and even gives it a fairly strong head butt.]
Valerie Vondelane: THAT'S IT!!!
Promo: Val no!!!
E.D: Think he would hit a preggo?
[Valerie gets out of her seat and walks her six months pregnant body over to Ross and shoves him back from the casket.]
Valerie Vondelane: Get off him!
Chris Ross: BIIIIIITCH!!!!
[With one violent motion, Ross shoves Val back, knocking her onto the mat and almost out of the ring. Holding her stomach in pain, practically everyone rushes to her side to see if she's okay. Sobbing, Val stares at Ross in complete shock.]
Valerie Vondelane: [Sobbing] ...
Chris Ross: Kurt, I just hit your woman. What are you going to do about it? HAHAHA. Nothing! Coward!
[Suddenly a random fan leaps into the ring and startled by the breach, Ross engages in an unscripted fist fight. Bashing the fan in the face until the security rips him from the ring, Ross has all of Madison Square Garden up in arms.]
Referee: Ring the bell...
Promo: Oh my god... Are you serious? This is actually happening?!
E.D.: Even I have to say it... I don't think anyone has ever stooped this low...
[Climbing up onto the casket Ross yells...]
Chris Ross: I'm cashing in. Count it...ref!
Referee: ONE!
Crowd: TWO!!
Referee: THREE!!!
[Dismounting the coffin, Chris smirks as he looks over to the ringside announcer to the announce him the victor. He picks up the BACW title off of the display rack and straps it around his own waist.]
Ring Announcer Michael Stuffher: [With the microphone off] I'm sorry, I can't...
[Snatching the microphone back...]
Chris Ross: Oh my God, do I have to do everything for this company? The WINNER of the match and NEEEEEEW BACW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... CHRIS ROOOOOOOSSSSSS!!!!
[Holding one finger in the air...]
Chris Ross: Hold on folks there's more! Being the fair champion that I am, I am going to allow Kurt Chavez to have his rematch...RIGHT HERE...RIGHT NOW!!!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Cackling as tons of trash fills the ring, Ross grabs the coffin spinning it around and standing it up right in the middle of the ring calls for his finisher...]
Promo: What is Ross doing!?
E.D: He's going for his finisher!
Promo: I can't watch!
[Ross smiles as he bounces off the ropes.]
[THUD!]
Promo: WIPE OUT!!!
E.D.: Ross has given the coffin a Wipe Out...
Promo: Jesus no!!
[And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, the coffin lid opens from the impact and zooming in all you can hear is Paul Prominiski say...
Promo: He....isn't in...there!?!? Ladies and gentlemen the casket is empty. Kurt Chavez isn't in there...
[Everyone in the crowd immediately turns from angry to shocked. People start taking pictures with their cameras. Women and children look on in disbelief with their mouths agape.]
ED: I can honestly say I've never seen anything like this entire life...
[Fading on Chris Ross' open mouth gaze, we have to wonder if this is really the last time we will ever see Kurt Chavez again.]
Play promo package
B-
[Music riff]
A! [Echo]
[Music riff]
C [Echo]
[Music riff]
W-!
[Music riff]
[Cue in video clip and ignite pyrotechnics.]
[BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!]
Paul Prominski: Hello everyone and no the show isn't over... In fact it's just beginning! I guess welcome to our May pay per view Last Rites! I'm your host Paul Prominski aka The Promo Machine and as you have just seen, we have a brand new BACW Heavyweight champion! Sitting alongside me is my co-host Easy Eric Danger and do you think it's possible to top that?
E.D: I'm still in shock...
Promo: Folks before we get into our first bout, let's go into the back where we hear Jamie Staggs is preparing for his match against Archie Gunn and Kimo Newton.
WOOOSH!
Interview w/ Candice Hoffman: Jamie Staggs
[Backstage, Jamie Staggs is seen walking through the hallways with a smirk on his face. A few stagehands pass him looking at him funny, and he immediately lunges forward in a psych out. They turn away from him and scuttle along on their way.]
Candice Hoffman: Get ready guys, I don't know if he's still in here or not.
[Jamie nods his head in approval before rounding the corner to see Candice Hoffman with a microphone, getting ready to knock on a locker room door. Jamie grins before he snatches the microphone right from her hand.]
Jamie Staggs: I'm right here, you dirty dumpster whore.
Candice: I wasn't...
Jamie: Save it! You know what? You can leave now because you are useless, just like every fan here.
Candice Candice: Excuse me but I'm not a fan...
Jamie: Whatever! The real show is sitting right in front of you.
Candice Hoffman: Screw you! I'm out of here!!
[Jamie waves at her as she turns around the corner he just emerged from. He looks back to the camera with a goofy sort of look on his face which is supposed to be intimidating.]
Jamie: Whose ass do I have to kiss around here to not get put in the opening match when I am the Main Event? What kind of crap was that? I went from nearly winning the Grinder to being put in the ring with... *laugh* sorry... Archie Gunn, and Kimo Whogivesafuck? Was it supposed to be an easy win to make me look good? Or do you really think I suck that bad, because the last time I checked, I eliminated a lot of the competition around here in the only real match I've had here.
[Boos ring out from the arena, and Jamie waves them off. He scowls as he looks around. Finally, he looks to the cameraman.]
Jamie: These good-for-nothin' fans around here are in denial, but you... You hafta know that Jamie Staggs is where it's at, right? Have you seen what I've done in SCW? Did you bother to watch Grinder?
Cameraman: I, uh, uh...
Jamie: Uhhhh duhhhh duhhhh the correct answer is "Jamie rocks the socks, he's the bees knees," and all of the crap, and it doesn't matter what you say because that's the facts. So, knowing that, would you say that I got the shaft tonight?
Cameraman: I mean, you are new and you still have a lot to prove around here, and…
[Jamie leans forward and the cameraman seems to let out an "eep!" sound. Jamie snatches the camera from the man, and turns it around to see a bulky guy in a BACW shirt and tighty whities, with his pants sitting around his ankles. He holds his hands in front of himself as Jamie laughs from behind the camera.]
Jamie: Now something that SCW fans, and Jack Kraven all have been waiting to hear… You just got Dick'd!
[Fade as the camera collides with the ground, scrambling the signal for just a moment.]
WOOOSH!
[As Staggs prepares to make his way to the ring, we one of his opponent's entering Mr. Batee's office unannounced.]
Ki-mo-NO!
Mr. Batee: God dang it... If I find out who trashed my office, there's going to be hell to pay and if that wasn't bad enough, Chris Ross is now my new Heavyweight champion by pinning an empty coffin... Just when I thought I've seen it all!
[Still talking to himself...]
Mr. Batee: Think outside the box you told him Batee... Get creative... I should have known better than to give authority like that to a guy with a brain the size of a walnut.
[Says from under his desk cleaning up what appears to be some spilled glue.]
Mr. Batee: What a mess this is!
[Suddenly out of nowhere "Doe Boy Fresh" by Three Six Mafia starts blaring in the office.]
Mr. Batee: WHAT IN THE GOD DANG HELL!!!
[*SMACK!!!*]
[Mr. Batee bangs his head under the desk startled.]
Mr. Batee: OWW! SON OF A...!!!!
[Mr. Batee stands up clearly angered to see Kimo Michael Jackson shuffling into his office.]
Kimo: YOOOO BAT-MOBILE!!! THE KEY DOG IS IN THE HOOOOUSSSSEEEE!
Mr. Batee: Why are you blaring that crap in my office?! No, better yet...
Kimo: Yo don't worry about that dog! Look we're homies Bat-a-rat-tat...
Mr. Batee: No we're not Kimo! And by the way, do you realize how big of a diamond I had to buy my wife to clean up the mess you caused on our last show?
Kimo: Yo?
Mr. Batee: She almost divorced me!
Kimo: Sorry Judge-Batty! But check it...
[Kimo pulls out a remote stopping the music.]
Kimo: Aight look I understand that... I don't want to see ya living in a cardboard box along I-81 so I came to make it up to ya dog!
Mr. Batee: OH NO!!! OH HELL NO!! YOU'VE DONE MORE THAN ENOUGH DAMAGE!!! In fact, I'm now calling you the black plague of BACW!
Kimo: That's hurtful dog.
Mr. Batee: JUST GET OUT!
[Kimo smiles boldly...]
Kimo: Yoooo chill dog! Cause the fine dime I brought in can cure all that anger.
Mr. Batee: Dime? I don't need your money Kimo!
[Kimo smiles as he presses a button on his remote and Party Rock by LMFAO starts blaring.]
Kimo: Money? Naw dog, let me introduce you to a girl from my club!
Mr. Batee: I'm not...
Kimo: This girl is working to pay off her medical school bills and will make you feel good all over!
Mr. Batee: Don't you...
Kimo: The lovely Miss Natasha!
[Suddenly a blond haired girl dressed in a red bra with feathers on it, a red g-string with feathers on it, and a pair of black high heel shoes struts in.]
Mr. Batee: Kimo!
Kimo: Yeaaaah boooooy!
Natasha: Relax baby... Let me give you a massage...
Mr. Batee: Don't you dare touch me!
[Natasha walks over but suddenly slips and stumbles forward where Mr. Batee catches her.]
Mr. Batee: Whoa...
Natasha: Thank you honey... Almost fell right on my face there...
[The camera then pans out to see Mr. Batee's hands are stuck onto Natasha's chest. Yup, the glue from the floor is construction adhesive and wouldn't you know it, his hands are instantly stuck!]
Mr. Batee: Kimo... Oh my god no... MY HANDS ARE STUCK!!!
Kimo Stuck?!
Mr. Batee: Yes Kimo! They are stuck! Someone trashed my office and I was trying to clean up glue!!! Why in the god dang hells do you think this place looks like a dumpster!?
Natasha: MMM... Baby such a strong grip you have!
Mr. Batee: This can't be happening!
[Batee struggles trying to pry his hands off and with one solid jerk, pulls off Natasha's bra. The censor bars immediately go up as the camera staggers to avoid an FCC violation.]
[Insert fan pop here]
Kimo: YEAH DOG!!!
Mr. Batee: NO DOG!!!
Natasha: I don't mind dog.
[Suddenly the camera zooms out to see Lashiel standing there with Mr. Batee's wife.]
Lashiel: Hi boss! Me brought you nice gift this time.
[With his hands behind his back Batee smiles and says in a nervous tone...]
Mr. Batee: Honey...
Mrs. Batee: YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME.
[Unexpectedly Mrs. Batee lunges at Natasha and a complete cat fight breaks out in Mr. Batee's office.]
Kimo: Yo!!! Dog this is off the chain!!!
Lashiel: I go... This no "G" rating.
[Exiting the mess he caused with a smile on his face, Lashiel disappears as the controversial scene continues...]
Mr. Batee: GOD DANG IT KIMO, LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE NOW!!! HELP ME!
[Trying to separate the ladies with the feathered bra still stuck to his hands, Batee throws Natasha into Kimo's arms.]
Kimo: Yo! Easy on the goods!!!
[*SMASH!!!*]
[Mr. Batee shatters a bottle of scotch over Kimo's head and Newton gives a few air punches before saying...]
Kimo: I'LL HAVE FRIES WITH THAT SIR!!!
[*THUD*]
Natasha: KIMO!
[Kimo collapses face first onto the floor and Natasha lunges again at Mrs. Batee. The two go flying into the camera knocking it over and...]
[PLEASE STAND BY WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.]
WOOOSH!
Opening Match
Jamie Staggs Vs. Archie Gunn Vs. Kimo Newton
Promo: Normally I would comment on a scene like that but because I value my job, I'm just going to say... Let's go to the ring for our opening bout.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Michael Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Madison Sqaure Garden and welcome to BACW's Last Rites!!!
Crowd: [POP!]
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Our first contest is scheduled for one fall! About to enter the ring, this is Jamie Staggs!
Crowd: [BOO!]
["Party Hard" by Andrew W.K. blasts through the speakers, causing the crowd to go into a frenzy. Wasting no time, Jamie shoves his way through the curtains. He raises his arms in the air, pumping up the fans before jogging sideways to the left side of the crowd. He leans back to get a shot with the fans cheering behind him, some pat him on the back. He then dashes over to the other side, slapping hands as hard as possible before jogging down the entrance ramp. He rushes up to the cameraman and purposely bangs his head against the lense before quickly working his way around the ring, playing around with the crowd. He darts up the ring steps, posing before entering the ring, and running all around the ring with airplane arms before stopping in the middle of the ring with one last pose.]
Promo: What do you think the mindset is here for Staggs?
E.D: Jamie wants to make an impact, showing that he is not just a dumbass, but a dumbass who isn't afraid to hurt himself in the process.
Promo: So what are you trying to say?
E.D: That he's as dumb as a box of rocks.
Promo: [Shakes his head] Is that really necessary?
E.D: I believe so.
Promo: Why?
E.D: Because Jamie never comes equipped with a strategy. He just looks for openings to showcase his daredevil style, and leaves the rest to chance.
Promo: Either way in my book that usually makes for a very entertaining match.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: And entering the ring next...
[Static appears on the screen and then the arena lights bigger to flash Multi Colours throughout the Arena.
Well we don't need no one to tell us what to do
Oh yes we're on our own and there's nothing you can do
So we don't need no one like you
To tell us what to do
"Prisoner of Society" By The Living End plays through the speakers
We don't refer to the past when showing what we've done
The generation gap means the war is never won
The past is in your head
The future's in our hand
[Archie Gunn appears on the Stage and begins jumping around getting the crowd riled up, before running to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and jumping up to his feet while sliding. He climbs to the second turnbuckle and begins singing his theme song getting the crowd to sing as well.]
Cos I'm a brat
And I know everything
And I talk back
Cos I'm not listening
To anything you say
And if you count to three (one two three)
You'll see there's no emergency
You'll see I'm not the enemy
Just a prisoner of society"
[Gunn jumps down and turns towards entrance to wait for the match to officially begin.]
Promo: Well what can we say about this Degenerate? I mean it looks like he is trying to win the crowd over
E.D: Your right and it looks like quite a lot of us didn't take this guy seriously.
Promo: Well it looks like he is pumped for tonight.
E.D: Indeed...
Stuffher: Ladies and Gentlemen, hailing from Outside the United States, weighing in 185lbs, He truly is a Prisoner to Society……..ARCHIE GUNNNNNNN!
Crowd: [Small POP!]
Promo: What about match strategy?
E.D: Maybe Gunn might want to get the match started quickly looking to start fast getting the upper hand'? If he's successful, he could then settle into a lot of chain wrestling before turning to high flying, extreme moves.
Promo: Well said...
Stuffher: And finally, Kimo Newton!
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: Parting the curtains and racing down the isle, Kimo slides under the bottom ropes, the referee calls for the bell, and here we GO!
[Jamie looks between his opponents, eying them closely as they start in on him but quickly flinging himself over the top rope, Staggs jumps down to the outside of the ring and trash talks both men.]
Crowd: [BOO!]
E.D: So much for a fast start.
[Pointing to his temple, Staggs motions for Gunn and Newton to go at it, and Archie without delay attacks Kimo. Newton counters by shoving Gunn away and Archie replies with a hard right to the jaw, causing Kimo to retaliate with a left. Both men begin slugging it out, when Jamie jumps back onto the ring apron. ]
Promo: Jamie's plan seems to be working.
[As he is sure they aren't paying attention, Jamie jumps onto the top rope and leaps off with a flying double bulldog to both men, leveling them.]
[BOOM!]
E.D: Now that was pretty.
Promo: Yeah pretty cheap.
[Turning towards Kimo, Staggs leaps into the air and knocks Kimo through the ropes and to the floor with a donkey kick. Smacking his head on the railing, Newton is now shown by the cameras to be out cold!]
Promo: Kimo isn't moving and this could mean a one on one! Locking up over the logo, Staggs gets in a quick hip toss on a wobbly Gunn.
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Staggs showboats executing a cartwheel avoiding offense from Gunn and then sitting up on the corner smiling.]
Promo: I hate this guy already!
E.D: Why because he's confident?
Promo: No, because he's arrogant!
[With the distraction in place, Gunn runs at Staggs connecting with a series of offense including spring boarding off the top rope taking out Staggs on the outside.]
Promo: Here they come back into the ring but Newton still isn't moving.
E.D: Gunn better watch out!
[Pulling on the rope, Staggs attempts a slingshot senton back in the ring but Gunn gets his knees up!]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
[Looking to add in a bit of hurt, Gunn sends Staggs back to the outside, but Staggs crawls under the ring and comes back out from the other side.]
Promo: It's a cat a mouse game with Gunn hot on his trail.
E.D: Gunn slides in...
[And playing right into his hand, Staggs connects with knees to the back of Gunn and then hits a suicide dive.]
[BOOM!]
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: Irish whip into the rope by Staggs!
E.D: NO! Counter by Gunn!!
[As Archie flings Jamie into the ropes, Jamie comes crashing off, looking for a flying clothesline, but Archie ducks it. Jamie turns around to receive a boot to the gut for his troubles. Archie leaps onto the ropes with a Moonsault, but Jamie catches him in mid air. He drops him down with a back breaker, and then looks around at the audience.
Jamie: THIS… is a Moonsault!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Jamie runs to the nearest corner and jumps onto the second turnbuckle.]
Promo: Corkscrew Moonsault connects!
E.D: But at what price...
[Rolling around holding his side afterward, Staggs goes to work on the head and neck of Gunn but Archie moves when Staggs tries to execute his swinging elbow drop.]
Promo: Staggs rakes the eyes of Gunn and Archie misses a series of right hand attempts.
[Feeling the swing, Archie gets in a kick allowing him to execute a series of body shots.]
Crowd: GUNN! GUNN! GUNN!
Promo: Gunn drops Staggs face first into the corner and Jamie is in trouble.
E.D: As always, you know nothing about how much punishment someone like Jamie Staggs can take.
[Looking for a breather, Staggs once again goes under the ring, comes back out the other side again, but this time Gunn is aware of the trap.]
Promo: I think Staggs is going to well one too many times.
E.D: As much as I hate to have the same opinion with you, I'm inclined to agree.
[Waiting for him on the other side and not giving chase, Gunn drops Staggs over the top rope and Staggs drops face first over the ring apron.]
E.D: Gunn's taking to the air!
[CLANG!!!!]
Promo: Gunn with a suicide dive to Staggs into the guard railing!
Crowd: [POP!]
[After a brief exchange, the two men got back into the ring, as Staggs follows up with a quick suplex and very quick swinging elbow to boot.]
Promo: Gunn finds the ropes and the referee is forced to give him space.
[Pounding the canvas, Archie seems to be very upset.]
E.D: Here comes Gunn like a bat out of hell.!
[Both men lock horns in the center of the ring, and looking to continue with his assault, Staggs goes for a suplex! Gunn counters a brain buster attempt and catches Jamie with a boot in the corner.]
Promo: Staggs with a Death Valley driver on Gunn over the ring apron.
[Falling to the small mats, Jamie executes a double brutal sledgehammer from the top rope and as the referee's count hits a quick seven, he rolls Gunn back into the ring looking for the win.]
Promo: Shoulders to the canvas!
Referee: ONE!
Crowd: TWO!!
Promo: THREE!!!
Referee: NO! TWO!!
Promo: Gunn kicks out of the pin fall attempt and wow that was close!
E.D: Luckily for Archie Gunn you weren't the referee.
Promo: Both men go into the corner!
E.D: Gunn with Sliced Bread!
Referee: ONE!
Crowd: TWO!!
Promo: THREE!!!
Referee: TWO!!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: Staggs gets his hand on the bottom rope.
E.D: Very close pin fall count and look at this, Kimo Newton is starting to stir!
[Inside the ring, Staggs unloads with knees to the head of Gunn, and tossing him into the turnbuckle, drop kicks him right in the face. Flopping into the corner flat on his ass, Jamies moves in as he calls for the brain buster.]
Promo: Brain buster connects!
Referee: ONE!
Crowd: TWO!!
Promo: THREE!!!
Referee: TWO!!
Crowd: [POP!]
E.D: Once again you're wrong and Archie kicks out just in the nick of time.
Promo: Staggs is shocked and he's now complaining to the referee!!
E.D: Newton from behind!
Promo: Kimo with a small package!
Referee: ONE!
Crowd: TWO!!
Referee: THREE!!!
Referee: NO!!! NO!! TWO!! TWO!! Only two!!
Crowd: BOO!]
Kimo: Come on dog!
Referee: TWO!!
Promo: Close two count and here comes a fresh Kimo Newton with a series of kicks!
E.D: Newton unleashes a eat defeat!
Promo: We might have an end!
Referee: ONE! TWO!!
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: TWO!!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: Another close pin fall and this one's going to continue!
[Pulling Jamie from his back, Staggs raks the eyes of Kimo and calls for his finisher.]
Staggs: It's over!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Placing his opponents head on the second rope, a la 619, Jamie leaps over the top rope and comes crashing down with a Guillotine Leg Drop!
Promo: The Graduation connects!
E.D: This could be it!
Referee: ONE! TWO!!
Promo: Gunn tries to make the safe!
Crowd: THREE!!!
E.D: He's too late!
Referee: That's it! Ring the bell!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Your winner of the bout, Jamie Staggs!
Promo: Hand raised into the air, would you look at this, Jamie gets in the face of his fallen opponent and taunts.
E.D: Archie Gunn doesn't look happy and I think when it's all said and done, you're going to see either Staggs or Gunn emerge from this feud with a a very big opportunity.
Promo: I couldn't agree more, but in the meantime, let's get back into the ring for our next contest.
Winner Gets A Heavyweight Title Match
Gaetan LaValle Vs. Azrael
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Our next contest is scheduled for one fall with the winner receiving a BACW Heavyweight championship bout!
Crowd: [POP!]
Stuffher: Already in the ring, this Azrael!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: This is the second meeting between LaValle and Azrael, the previous time LaValle won. Azrael is looking to avenge that loss, but he wants to do so fairly, without any cheating and treachery.
E.D: Azrael needs to win at all costs!
Promo: Well tonight he'll get a chance to do something not a lot of people have been able to do here in the NWA.
E.D: What's that?
Promo: Defeat Gaetan LaValle!
Stuffher: And his opponent, coming down the isle, this is the former NWA World Television champion – Gaetan LaValle!
Crowd: [POP!!!]
[Referee Mario Lane looks over at the time keeper and says...]
Referee: Ring the bell!
Promo: And here we GO!
[Azrael charges over the logo and kicks Gaetan in the gut, and putting him in the corner, chops the chest with an open hand.]
Crowd: WOOO!
[Gaetan turns him, and giving him a taste of his own medicine, clubs away with an equal amount of force.]
Crowd: WOOO!!
[Hearing the crowd behind him, LaValle pulls Azrael out of the corner and off the Irish whip, dropkicks Azrael down to the canvas.]
Promo: Azrael takes hold of the ropes and is asking the referee for some space.
E.D: Smart move.
[Referee Mario Lane backs Gaetan up as Azrael slowly get to his feet and once he's upright, they circle the ring finally locking up.]
Promo: Gaetan with a quick arm drag and closing in, Azrael uppercuts the former TV champ and transitions into a nasty DDT!
E.D: Shoulders to the canvas!
Referee: ONE!
Crowd: TWO!!
Referee: THRE...
Promo: He got him!
Referee: TWO!!
Promo: NO! The Frenchman gets his shoulder off the logo just in time.
Crowd: La-VA-lle! La-VA-lle! La-VA-lle!
[Furious with the chant, Azrael hits a front suplex, and quickly applies a chin lock that borderlines an illegal choke. Now appearing at ringside Kai Kennedy cheers Gaetan...]
Promo: What's he doing here?
E.D: Do I look like this father?
[Azrael spits at Kai and grabbing LaValle's ears reverse head-butts Gaetan busting open some of the scar tissue on his forehead. Lifting his boot, Azrael then stomps the shit out Gaetan until the referee is forced to break it up due to the blood pouring from LaValle's mouth.]
Promo: Gaetan might have some internal bleeding going on.
E.D: No on said fighting Azrael was easy...
[Azrael pours on the pressure by punching Gaetan down and picking him up after a two count, mocks the former champ.]
Azrael: He's not done suffering yet!
Referee: I'm only going to warn you once! Do not pull him off the canvas again!!
Azrael: SHUT UP!
[With spit hanging from his jowls, Azrael applies a modified chin lock/hammerlock combo but Gaetan fights up, and eventually elbows out.]
Promo: Azrael goes for a body slam, but Gaetan counters into a falling elbow drop.
E.D: This LaValle can hit moves from anywhere!
Promo: Gaetan kicks Azrael down, and he's going to the top rope.
LaValle: BA-CW!
Crowd: [POP!]
E.D: Azrael rolls away and Gaetan lands with a thud!
[BOOM!]
Promo: LaValle stumbles to his feet and counters whips Azrael to the corner.
[THUD!]
E.D: Gaetan charges!
[With his wits still about, Azrael catches LaValle with an Alabama Slam attempt but Gaetan counters with a roll up...]
Promo: Azrael can't get out!
Referee: ONE! TWO!!
Promo: Did he get him?
Crowd: THREE!!!
Crowd: TWO!
E.D: 100% did not!
Promo: Both men are dangerous and even tired; you can't let your guard down for even a minute. Both men are up and ...
E..D: Gaetan with a backslide!
Referee: ONE! TWO!!
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: NO! TWO!!
Promo: I don't believe it!
E.D: Another close count and this one's going to continue!!
[Blowing a snot rocket to clear his nasal passage, Azrael quickly kicks Gaetan, whips him to the corner, and charging in runs into a surprise boot.]
Promo: Gaetan with a springboard cross-body and he's got Azrael down.
Referee: ONE! TWO!!
Promo: Did he get him?
Crowd: THREE!!!
Promo: The referee yells two and Gaetan was literally millimeters away from victory!
E.D: Gaetan goes for a monkey flip, but Azrael counters by dropping him on the ropes.
[Staggering backwards, Azrael hits his Super belly to back double chicken wing suplex!]
Promo: The Widowmaker!!!
E.D: This one's over!
Referee: ONE! TWO!!
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: Ring the bell!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Your winner of the bout, and NEW number one contender – Azrael!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[As Gaetan LaValle stumbles up the ramp and Azrael continues celebrating in the ring. Suddenly, LaValle goes flying back down the ramp, as a large boot kicks him hard.]
Promo: What's Kai doing?
E.D.: He's finishing what he started at Parade of Champions! He's out to end LaValle's career!
*CRACK* *CRICKKETY CRACK* *CR-LIKE THE SOUND OF YOUR MOTHER BEING BEATEN WITH A CHAIR BY YOUR FATHER-ACK*
Crowd: You suck! You suck! You suck! You suck! You suck! You suck! You suck! You suck!
Promo: LaValle is bloodied and now Kai is screaming in face of Gaetan.
[As "Exodus" by Two Steps From Hell plays, Kennedy kicks LaValle one more time before exiting out back through the curtain while medical personnel see to Gaetan.]
Promo: Inside the ring, Azrael smiles as Gaetan LaValle is left not only without victory but in a puddle of his own crimson courtesy of Kai Kennedy.
E.D: The Dynasty are making their presence known and I wouldn't be surprised if this was the last time we saw Gaetan LaValle inside a BACW ring for a very long time.
Promo: Folks, it's time to take a break, but when we return it's going to be Giani DiLuca taking on Magnum Randell for BACW's Empire State Championship! We'll see you in a few...
WOOOSH!
BACW Empire State Championship
Giani DiLuca ( c ) Vs. Magnum Randell
Promo: Folks we are back from the break and I have just been told that due to the attack by Kai Kennedy, we might not see Gaetan LaValle back inside a BACW ring for what could be at least three to six weeks. With that said, let's go the ring for our first of two championship matches.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: This next contest is scheduled for one fall and is for BACW's Empire State championship!
Crowd: [POP!]
[The lights begin to flicker as the beginning of Superstar by Saliva begins to play. The Oval-Tron shows a beating red heart. The lights in the arena begin to turn red and pulse to the rhythm of a beating heart. As soon as the guitar rift begins pyrotechnics shoot from the ramp and the former NWA World Heavyweight Champion appears at the top of the ramp with his hands held above his head and his hands making fists. The crowd pops then boos!]
Stuffer: Ladies and gentlemen! Now coming to the ring, he hails from Detroooit, Miiichigan! He stands at six foot one inch and weighed in at two hundred and thirty one pounds, he is the "Heartthrob" MAAAAGNUM RAAANDELL!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Magnum methodically makes his way down the ramp and rolls under the bottom rope. Sitting in the corner of the ring, he waits for the champion to enter.]
Promo: Why the boos?
E.D: Magnum just joined the Dynasty so he's now considered a bad guy but Giani and Magnum have never faced off before in a one on one so this should be interesting.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: And his opponent...
["Everyday I'm Shu-shufflin..."]
Stuffher: He is the reigning Empire State champion! From the Jersey shore, he is Giani DiLuca!
Crowd: [POP!]
[Entering the ring, the champion sheds his title and screams out to the capacity crowd...]
Giani DiLuca: FUGGITABOUT-IT!
Crowd: [POP!]
[As Randell comes to the center of the ring Giani comes flying off the turnbuckle with a dropkick to Randell through the ropes and onto the floor!]
Promo: Giani tosses Randell into the ring and then climbs up top and hits a Missile Dropkick!
Referee: ONE... TWO...
Promo: NO! Randell kicks out in time!
[Shaking his head, Giani puts the boots to Randell but then goes back to playing to the crowd. Just then, Jamie Staggs walks down the ramp with a chair which distracts Giani allowing Randell to trip him and then hit a shoulder block before going to the apron and hitting a jawbreaker onto the top rope!]
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: Giani needs to pay attention to what's going on in the ring and not Jamie Staggs.
E.D: I couldn't agree more.
Promo: Randell hits a Slingshot Splash!
Referee: One... TWO!!
Crowd: THREE!!!
Promo: NO! Giani kicks out!
Magnum Randell: Come on ref!
Referee: TWO!!
[Yanking Giani to his feet, Magnum hits an arm drag and then kicks the champ in the face.]
Promo: Follows up drop toe hold sends Giani into the corner with a THUD!
E.D: Randell climbs up top and look out!
Promo: Flying back kick launches Giani out to the floor!
[Flipping off the crowd, Randell goes to the apron and sets up for a dive, but Giani grabs his leg and slams him onto the edge of the ring! The champion then tosses the challenger back into the ring and then hits a Tilt-A-Whirl head scissors into a face buster!]
Crowd: [WHOA!]
Promo: Giani then locks in a Hammerlock/Arm bar combination!
E.D: That might have looked even better if he just hooked the Fujiwara Arm bar as he hit the mat like Sin Cara's La Mistica.
[Reaching to his left, Randell is able to get his foot on the ropes to break the hold as the champion tries to put the boots to Randell in the corner but Randell grabs his foot and then gets back up to HIS feet (still holding onto Giani's leg). Looking to stop the bleeding, Randell then nails Giani with a Dragon screw leg Whip forcing Giani to grimace in pain!]
Promo: Giani is getting pummeled with with a combination of body shots, chops, and forearm shots!
E.D: Randell has had enough! The challenger attempts to whip Giani into the ropes but Giani reverses it and goes for a backdrop.
Promo: NO! Randell kicks Giani in the chest and then drills him with an Enziguri!
Crowd: This is awesome! Clap clap clapclapclap! This is awesome! Clap clap clapclapclap! This is awesome! Clap clap clapclapclap!
[Randell clotheslines Giani over the top rope and then hits a Suicide Dive through the ropes onto the floor sending the champion into the guardrail!]
[CLANG!]
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: The challenger chops!
Crowd: WOOO!
[After a left right combo, Randell grabs Giani and tosses him back into the ring. Randell then climbs up top and goes for his DELIVERANCE frog splash but Giani rolls out of the way.]
Randell: AAARGHH!!!!
Promo: Magnum somehow fights back and then nails Giani with a back kick as Giani gets up completely unaware of his surroundings.
E.D: Randell goes for Sliced Bread!
Promo: NO! Giani blocks Magnum and shoves him off.
E.D: The referee is down!
[While the man in stripes recovers, Jamie Staggs enters the ring and takes a swing at Giani with his steel chair. The champion ducks and blasting the challenger in the face, Staggs stands there in complete shock! Giani drop kicks the dented chair into Jamie's head, and hits his finisher!]
Giani: [Shaking the referee] Get up my dude!
Promo: Shoulders to the canvas!
[Looking up through glassy eyes, the referee pounds the canvas as the crowd counts along.]
Referee: One... Two ...
[Long pause...]
Referee: THREE!
Crowd: [POP!]
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Your winner of the contest and STILL Empire State champion! Giani DiLuca!
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: Staggering up the isle and into the back, Jamie Staggs just screwed Magnum Randell out of his chance to be the Empire State champion.
E.D: In my opinion Staggs just helped Magnum because let's be honest, what would the Empire State championship bring Magnum Randell?
Promo: FYI, if you hold the Empire State title you get better bookings and better bookings mean a quicker rise to the top!
E.D: The cream always rises Paul and this loss is nothing compared to what Magnum Randell is going to do to Jamie Staggs when he catches up with him.
Promo: I can't disagree with you there... Fans, let's go into the back and show you what happened when our cameras caught up with "The Crippler" Matt McClain.
WOOOSH!
A Crippling Problem
[Backstage in Matt McClain's locker room]
[With the door slightly cracked, the camera crew sneaks in and catches a glimpse of NWA North American Champion, Matt McClain. We can see that he is already in his wrestling gear. We can see that he is just finishing taping his wrist up with heavy black tape. We also hear that McClain is not alone. Soon the familiar voice of Shawn Matthews, or as he is better known as Terminal Frost can be heard.]
Matthews: So you're really going to do this huh Matt? The "Crippler" gets locked up tonight?
McClain: That's right. The "Crippler" gets locked away tonight. Look, I saw theses kids grow up, the last thing I want to do is hurt these kids. They are friends Shawn…hell they are like family to me.
Matthews: I see Matt.
[Shawn becomes annoyed with the comment, while McClain has no idea that his student is annoyed with him.]
Matthews: I'm going to grab a drink, you want anything?
McClain: Yeah, a water.
[Shawn walks out the locker room, still annoyed with Matt over his comment.]
Matthews: What the hell do I have to do to please him…
[When out of nowhere, Matthews, who isn't paying attention bumps into someone, someone who wasn't paying attention either, and looked up, startled as he almost fell.]
Matthews: Azreal? Is that you?
[The worn out paint betrays the hint of grin that comes to the other man's face.]
Azrael: I believe so, but some days it is difficult to be sure.
Matthews: Sorry about bumping into you, I know you just had a match and I was just…thinking…
Azrael: Same here...I was thinking so hard I wasn't looking where the hell I was.
Matthews: Hmmm, seem you and I have the same problem…
[The barest of nods]
Azrael: So it does. Sometimes it doesn't pay to think so hard
Matthews: Tell me about it…
[Matthews extends his hand out and Azreal looks at it a moment before shaking Shawn's hand. Before the two walk away talking, catching up on old times.]
WOOOSH!
BACW Tag Team Championship
The Logan Boys Vs. The Dynasty
*The champions will be invoking the Freebird rule.
Promo: What the hell was that all about?
E.D: I don't know, two guys talking dumbass? What the hell did it look like? Lady bugs and butterflies? I wonder how the hell you got this job some times Paul.
Promo: You know I hate you right?
E.D: It's understandable; most people do.
Promo: Folks, the champions have just entered the ring unannounced and are demanding the presence of the challengers.
E.D: And you're surprised?
Promo: Not in the least, let's go the ring for main event introductions.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: This next contest is scheduled for one fall and will be for BACW's Tag Team championship!
Crowd: [POP!]
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Already in the ring, they are the champions! Accompanied to the ring by Rick Ulfric, they are Lashiel and Jace Logan!
Crowd: [POP!]
Stuffher: Entering next, from Houston, Texas, weighing in at 235 pounds, he is the NWA North American Champion, "Crippler" Matt McClain!
[The lights in the arena shut down, leaving the crowd in the dark, as bright flashes start to burst through out the arena looking like streaking lightening. Soon, the sound of crashing waves, thunder, and howling winds fill the arena. They are soon joined by a shrill sound of sirens echoing though out the building.]
#SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU…SHUT UP….SHUT UP…SHUT UP…SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!
[A hush falls over the crowd leaving the arena in total darkness. Without warning, multi-colored lights start exploding throughout the arena. The fans can now see that Matt McClain's tron video has come to life as his theme, a remix of One Step Closer performed by Linkin Park, starts to rip though out the PA system. On his tron, a golden outline of a flame comes into sight as McClain's cross slams into the flame as it sounds like steel hitting steel, and is quick to fade to black as his name is quick to fade in. Soon it starts to flash across the tron into various different fonts and colors. Behind his name, there are clips of The Submission Specialist winning past titles, making opponents tap to his Breaking Point as well as McClain hitting his Natural Disaster finisher.]
#EVERYTHING YOU SAY TO ME, BRINGS ME ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK…
#I NEED A LITTLE ROOM TO BREAK, BECAUSE I'M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK
#I FIND THE ANSWERS AREN'T SO CLEAR, I WISH I COULD FIND A WAY TO DISSAPPEAR…ALL THESE THOUGHTS THEY MAKE NO SENSE, I FOUND THIS IN INGRONCE, NOTHING SEEMS TO GO AWAY…OVER AND OVER AGAIN… JUST LIKE BEFORE!
[Out of nowhere, we see a man that appears to be rising up from the floor with both of his arms stretched out forming a human crucifix. Once he has risen like a phoenix from its ashes, McClain looks around the arena as a grin plays across his lips. The fans start to boo at the mere sight of him, which is like music to his ears. McClain slowly raises both arms high into the air as the crowd roars with their disapproval. As he makes the slow walk to the ring, the multi-colored lights start to glisten off his skin. He's dressed in a pair of white tights. On his left leg in a royal blue material and outlined in gold you see "CRIPPLER". On the opposite leg in the same royal blue material outlined in gold is McClain's modified cross. We see that his pearl white leather NWA North American Championship is clasped around his waist as he shows it off with great pride. The golden plates glisten in the sparkling lights.
McClain has his hands, wrist, and forearms tapped in a heavy black tape. His shoulder length brown hair dangles slightly over his pearl white-framed Oakley's, hiding his cold ice-blue eyes from the fans behind the shimmering ice iridium lens. He runs his tapped hand over his beard as he surveys the entranceway.]
#EVERYTHING YOU SAY TO ME, BRINGS ME ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK…
#I NEED A LITTLE ROOM TO BREAK, BECAUSE I'M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK…
#EVERYTHING YOU SAY TO ME, BRINGS ME ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I'M ABOUT TO…BREAK!
[As soon as McClain enters the ring, he breaks for one of the turn buckles and slowly climbs up, and as soon as he sets foot onto the middle turn buckle, the ring is surrounded in falling pyro on all sides of the ring. McClain's stares out into the crowd as he slowly turns his head, doing a full sweep. He hopes down and stops near the ropes as he leans against them as he is showered with boo's from the crowd. As the pyro dies out, the lights come back on, returning the light to the arena.]
#I NEED A LITTLE ROOM TO BREAK, BECAUSE I'M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I'M ABOUT TO BREAK…
#I NEED A LITTLE ROOM TO BREAK, BECAUSE I'M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I'M ABOUT TO…BREAK!
Promo: Think McClain is going to go 100%?
E.D: In my opinion, Matt is going about this match completely different. He's facing friends and he is a bit bothered by that because he watched the boys grow up. He has watched over them for a long time, so this weighs heavy on him, BUT that doesn't mean that is going to lay down for Jace and Lash.
Promo: So he's going to go out to the ring and he is going to put on a wrestling show with who ever is in the ring with him?
E.D: Without a doubt!
Stuffher: And finally, he is the NWA Hardcore Champion, one half of WCCW's Team Team Champions, and the youngest member of "The Dynasty" …..KAI…. KENNNEEDY!
[The metal cover of "One Winged Angel" by The Black Mages blasts through the audience as Kai Kennedy rips through the BACW curtain. He hurtles down the aisle in a pair of flexible wrestling jeans, with size 16 wrestling boots on his massive feet.]
Promo: Kennedy looks ready to rip some limbs off!
E.D.: KENNEDY SMASH!!!
Promo: [Just stares at him]
E.D.: What? I just saw the Avengers.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Referee: Let's get it on!
Promo: The referee has called for the bell and here we GO! Collar tie in the center of the ring and here comes the Irish whip by Crippler on Jace.
E.D: Looks like McClain is bringing him back for a short arm clothesline!
Crowd: [OOO!]
[Laying out Jace in the middle of the ring the champ looks woozy a bit, as McClain is right on the attack as he now has Jace locked into a camel clutch, working on the neck.]
Promo: We could be seeing the focal point for McClain tonight.
E.D: Seems to be a good game plan.
[The ref looking for the early tap out, but Jace shakes his head no, as McClain applies more pressure to the chin. Without warning, McClain lets go and allows Jace a second to catch his breath, but before he could do so, Matt reaches down and picks him up, into a sitting position, as he surprises him with a spinal tap kick, and then follows up by grabbing Jace's head and nails a running snap mare, sending Jace on to his back, grabbing his neck in pain. On the outside, Ulfric screams on...]
Ulfric: Come on Jace!!
Promo: McClain with a running start and jumping onto the ropes, nails Jace with a picture perfect lionsault, bringing all of his weight down onto the upper back of the BACW Tag Team Champion.
E.D: McClain really controlling the action!
[Jace struggles to get to his feet, and as he makes it to his knees first, has no idea where McClain has gone. Jace's legs are like rubber as he stands up and turns around only to be met with a well placed super kick to the jaw.]
Promo and E.D: SHOWSTOPPER!
Referee: ONE! TWO!!
E.D: NO! Jace somehow kicked out of the pin!
Promo: Yeah but McClain is right back onto the attack and not even thinking twice at the ref's call, he brings him to his feet and sets him up for what looks like a suplex attempt.
[McClain hoist up Jace into a standing suplex position, McClain showing great strength holding up Jace that long, allowing the blood to flow to his head, and drops him down into a brain buster DDT, bringing him down onto his already injured neck.]
E.D: I swear, I have been watching McClain for a LONG time now and this guy is a machine! He just doesn't stop!
Promo: I say he's setting him up for his Breaking Point submission.
E.D: I gotta agree with you.
[McClain with an Irish whip sends Jace to the ropes and McClain is right behind him with a clothesline, sending him over the top rope, but Jace somehow lands on his feet and manages his way back into the ring.]
Promo: Jace is dead on his feet!
E.D: I hate to say this but he really needs to make a tag.
Promo: McClain is single handily taking it to one half of the BACW Tag Team Champions tonight!
E.D: He is all business!
[Not being able to take it anymore, Lashiel charges into the ring from behind but McClain sees him and back body drops him into the floor. Immediately grabbing his ankle, the referee sees the injury and calls for the EMT's.]
Promo: Lashiel hit pretty hard and I think he might have really messed up his ankle bad.
E.D: I saw the same thing you did and look at Ulfric... He's telling the referee he's evoking the Freebird rules!
Promo: The referee nods yes and I The Dynasty is going crazy!QQ
Crowd: [POP!] Let's go Lo-gans Let's go! Let's go Lo-gans Let's go! Let's go Lo-gans Let's go!
Referee: TAG!
E.D: In comes Ulfric!
Referee: TAG!!
Promo: In comes Kennedy!!
[Charging into the center, Ulfric and absolutely clobbers Kai forcing him back into his corner.]
Referee: TAG!
Promo: McClain gets the tag and goes right after Ulfric looking to pick off where he left off.
E.D: Ulfric shakes his finger no, and tags Jace back in? What the hell was that?
Promo: Why give McClain what he wants to soon?
[Diving over the logo, Jace and Kennedy lock up in the center of the ring and Jace wins their first exchange, after a poor start.]
Promo: Kennedy kicks the ropes and locks up again.
[Kai finally once again comes out on top with a series of head butts before trying for a scoop slam but Jace falls back into him and presses his shoulders to the canvas!
Referee: One! Two!!
Promo: NO! Kennedy kicks out!
[Pulling him up by the hair, Kennedy is met with a head butt from Jace.]
Crowd: [OH!]
Referee: TAG!
Promo: Kennedy's ankle becomes the target as Ulfric gets the tag.
[Spitting in Kai face, Ulfric kicks at the leg several times, and then brings Jace back in to the match.]
Referee: TAG!
[With the challenger down, Jace takes advantage and stomps on Kennedy's head with ruthless aggression. Done with the ground game, Jace then starts to lift Kai to his feet but Kennedy punches from his knees. Jace tries to block it but Kennedy gets to his feet and gains the advantage with hay makers from left right and center field! Jace whips Kennedy into the ropes, but gets clobbered by a shoulder block!]
Crowd: [DAMN!]
Promo: Kennedy signals for the end but Jace turns to tag in Ulfric, and jumps off the apron. Ulfric is not thrilled and begins question why Jace tagged out so quick.
E.D: Quick? Jace is doing all the work here!
Promo: Maybe Ulfric is trying to soften Jace up?
E.D: For what?
Promo: Rumors say Ulfric gave Jace a challenge.
[After some ringside antics, a tag is made and Ulfric is now shown on the mat being tortured by McClain.]
Promo: What a match and thank heavens, Lashiel Logan has finally gotten back to his feet.
[Finally reaching the ropes, the referee call for the break and Ulfric grabs the side of his chest near his ribs, wincing in pain. Jace and Lash are obviously concerned about their father as the two Logan Boys cry out with words of encouragement.]
E.D.: Ulfric may have some serious injuries, Promo. By the way he is holding his ribs and that look on his face; McClain might have done more damage than he thought.
[Ulfric backpedals over to one corner and slumps to the ground. Leaning back against the bottom two turnbuckles, McClain continues to taught him from afar.]
Matt McClain: Get up! Get up and show the world you still got it!
[Suddenly, "Memphisto" by Depeche Mode begins to play, sending the crowd into a deafening roar and massive pop.]
E.D.: WHAT?!?!?
Promo: You have to be kidding me.
[BACW's own former resident nutcase and Purple Haired Freak, The Spectre, steps out from behind the curtain and stops in the center of the top of the ramp, sending the crowd into even more of a cheering frenzy. Jace, Lash, and Ulfric all look towards the ramp with stunned looks on their faces as do The Dynasty.]
Promo: Oh, my God!!! It's The Spectre!!!! The Spectre has returned to BACW and Matt McClain is pissed!
E.D.: Didn't think I would ever see this, Promo. I'm shocked!
Crowd: Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back!
Promo: Listen to this capacity crowd cheer!
E.D: They've come unglued at the former 8-time BACW Heavyweight Champion's return!
[Spectre continues to scour the crowd, a slight grin on his face, and nodding his head in approval. Inside the ring, Lash has completely forgotten about the match and has become as giddy as a schoolgirl. Lash is grinning from ear to ear and clapping and cheering as he limps around the ring.]
Lash: Yea!!!!!!! Spectre!!!! He back!!! Looky Jace! Look Ulfy!! He back!!! He BACK!!!
[Spectre looks towards the ring and heads down the entrance ramp towards his fallen friend, Ulfric, to see is he can be of any help.]
McClain: You want some of me?
[Entering the ring from his corner the world hardcore champion exclaims...]
Kai: Me first!
Crowd: Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back!
Referee: You're interrupting the match! GET OUT OF HERE!
[Lash cannot control himself and excitedly races towards The Spectre catching him off guard as Lash leaps into Spectre's arms and hugs him tightly around his neck. Surprised at Lash's actions, Spectre finally pats Lash on the back and smiles, and then rubs Lash's hair.]
E.D.: Well, I know of at least ONE person who missed Spectre and is glad to see him back.
Promo: He and a million screaming fans are glad to see him back.
Crowd: Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back!
[The camera is right there with Spectre and Lash to catch this from Lash speaking to Spectre.]
Lash: Spect!! You back! I so happy! Can I have autograph, please?... (pause) I know, I know. You sign name with purple sharpie! I go get one for you. OK?
[Lash limps up the ramp and disappears behind the curtain as Spectre just shakes his head and mouths the word, "Weird".]
Promo: I guess Lash is one of those "true" Spectre fans. For Spectre's sake, he better hope Lash isn't one of those obsessed fans. Remember what happened to John Lennon.
E.D: You do realize we are having match correct?
[Spectre turns his attention to Jace and Ulfric in the ring. As he slides in the ring, Jace stands up to meet Spectre as The Dynasty bail to the floor.]
Spectre: What's going on, Jace? Is Ulfric OK?
Jace: I dunno, Spec. I think he may have some broken ribs. Didn't see how it happened...
Spectre: Hmmm...
[Spectre kneels down beside Ulfric.]
Ulfric: The fuck are you doing out here?
[Ulfric smiles at Spectre, and places his hand on Spectre's shoulder. Spectre then looks at Ulfric, then looks at Ulfric's rib area and applies pressure with his hand.]
Ulfric: UUGGGGHHHH!!!!
Spectre: Looks pretty bad.
Ulfric: No clue! Something just popped on my last exchange. I'm fine; get the hell out of here so I can show Jace how a real superstar finishes what he started.
[Jace nods...]
Jace: If that's how it's going to be, then I'm out of here!
[Jace exits in protest while Spectre watches over Ulfric.]
E.D. This could really be serious, Promo. Not only has Lashiel left ringside but so has Jace. Ulfric is all alone to defend those titles.
Promo: And look at The Dynasty on the outside licking their chops.
[In the ring, Spectre attempts to get Ulfric to his feet, and at the urging of the crowd, Ulfric fights off the pain and gets to his feet, supported by Spectre on one side. The crowd cheers at the two men. Ulfric acknowledges the crowd with a wave of his hand.]
Spectre: Need a partner?
Ulfric: NO!
Spectre: Let me rephrase that, do you want a partner?
Ulfric: HELL NO!
Promo: What a moment in BACW, folks. What a moment!
Spectre: Okaaaaay. Ring the bell referee, he's going solo!
Referee: Let's restart the match!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
[As The Dynasty gets to their corner and Spectre continues to help Ulfric across the ring, Spectre suddenly lets go of Ulfric and shoves him hard in the face to the ground.]
Crowd: [GAAAASSSSPPP!!!!!!]
E.D: What the hell just happened?!?
Promo: I have no idea!!!
[Spectre looks down at a shocked and surprised Ulfric.]
Ulfric: You son of a...
[Spectre has a look of disdain on his face.]
Spectre: Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Be very careful...
Crowd: [BOO!!!]
E.D: Now I AM confused too, Paul. First Spectre returns to BACW, then you think he's going to help his longtime friend Ulfric. NOW it seems as if Spectre may have turned his back on Ulfric.
Promo: I think we all are confused.
Crowd: ASS-HOOOOOOLE! ASS-HOOOOOOLE! ASS-HOOOOOOLE!
Ulfric: When I'm done with these two, I'm gonna gut you!
Spectre: …
Ulfric: YOU HEAR ME!!!!
Spectre: …
[Ulfric finally snaps and shoves Spectre in the side of the face.]
Ulfric: LOOK AT ME YOUR QUITTER!!!!
Promo: Well The Dynasty is calling this a day and dropping from the apron, they appear to be leaving the ringside area.
E.D.: I- I don't know what to say, Promo but this is completely out of the referee's control.
Promo: This is a shocking turn of events to say the least, and I don't think Spectre liked being mashed in the side of the face.
[Spectre gets to his feet with a huge scowl on his face but Ulfric is right there to meet him, nose to nose. A commotion begins to occur behind the two men when from UNDERNEATH the ring, the canvas splits apart in the center, and purple, yellow and green smoke come billowing from the hole.]
E.D.: Ugh!!! What's that smell, Promo?! Did you....
Promo: No, I didn't. But it smells like sulfur!
[Through the smoke a figure emerges and climbing into the ring, the sounds of the crowd resemble those of a look of astonishment.]
???????: HEEE HEHEHE HEHEHEHE...
E.D: Are you seeing what I am seeing?!? Tell me I don't need glasses, and that I really AM seeing double!
[A menacing figure, dressed identically to The Spectre, with the same height and build as Spectre stands in the ring, gritting his teeth, seething mad at an unsuspecting Ulfric. The only difference between Spectre and this unknown figure is the unidentified person has ghostly white hair and white eye color.]
Promo: Oh, my God! Who...who is this person?!? Can it be...are there... TWO Spectre's?!?
[The menacing figure slowly steps towards Ulfric, who now realizes from the crowd's reaction and Spectre looking over Ulfric's shoulder, that someone is behind him. Ulfric spins around, and can't believe what he is seeing either. Ulfric rubs his eyes, and looks back and forth at both men. Without warning, the menacing man with the white hair punches Ulfric in the face, crumpling him to the ground.
Crowd: [Ohhhhhh!!!!]
Promo: What a wicked shot by this... this Doppleganger Spectre! Ulfric is down, and Spectre, the PURPLE HAIRED Spectre... is just laughing at this.
Crowd: ASS-HOOOOOOLE! ASS-HOOOOOOLE! ASS-HOOOOOOLE!
Promo: This is just disgusting. And the Doppleganger is directing traffic as he points to the hole in the ring.
[Spectre goes over to the hole, reaches in, and starts tossing out old electronic devices- a rotary phone, a typewriter, and an Apple 2E monitor. He also pulls out a mystery black bag.]
E.D.: This is looking really bad for Ulfric.
Promo: It really is. But wait....here comes Jace from the back, along with an EMT!
Crowd: [Yeaahh!!!!!!]
[The Doppelganger quickly meets Jace as he climbs up on the apron, grabs Jace by the throat, and choke slams him to the floor outside. Spectre grabs hold of the EMT's bag out of his hands, and cold cocks the EMT to the ground with a punch to the face.]
Promo: Jace and the EMT are out!
E.D.: Yeah, and the only other person that might come and save Ulfric is too dumb to know what's going on and is too busy looking for a damn purple Sharpie!
Spectre: [to the Doppelganger] PICK HIM UP!!!
[Spectre picks up the rotary phone and begins yelling at Ulfric.]
Spectre: Hey, Ulfric!!!
[Ulfric is dazed and hurting as he stands on wobbled legs looking at Spectre.]
Spectre: Sorry I missed your CALL!!!!!
CCCCRRRRRAAAAAACCCCCKKKK!!!!-DIIIIIING!!!!
Crowd: [OOOHHH!!!!!]
Promo: Good God! Spectre just shattered that rotary phone across Ulfric's skull.
E.D: Ulfric is busted open!!
[Spectre looks down at a semi-conscious Ulfric laughing, but the Doppelganger begins shouting instructions, to which Spectre grabs up the typewriter and begins whaling away on Ulfric's knee, with each shot Spectre screaming at Ulfric!
Spectre: Why... didn't... you... send... me... a... letter... you...old...sonofabitch!!!!
[Spectre carelessly tosses the typewriter into the ringside crowd causing them to scatter.]
Promo: Where the hell is security?!? Ulfric is getting killed!!!
E.D: Spectre and this Doppelganger are out of control and I love it!
Promo: Spectre picks up the computer monitor and holds it high over Ulfric's body.
E.D: Ulfric can barely defend himself!
Spectre: Ever hear of sending email, you One-Eyed Gimp?!?
[Jace tried to climb up on the apron but is decimated by the computer monitor as it shatters across his skull!]
Promo: This is absolutely uncalled for, and without any justification whatsoever! Spectre has lost his ever loving mind!!
E.D.: Lost it?!? When did he ever have it?
[Spectre reaches into his black bag and pulls out not one, but TWO cattle prods. He then reaches into the EMT medical bag and pulls out a scalpel.]
Promo: Oh, this is going to get ugly in a hurry! Spectre's favorite weapon of choice in that cattle prod... AND THAT DAMN SCALPEL!!!
[Several security guards attempt to rush the ring...]
Promo: Finally, here comes security!
[Spectre tosses one of the cattle prods to the Doppelganger and the two freaks begin blasting anyone that tries to get into the ring sending all who dare crashing to the ground.]
E.D: With those cattle prods in hand, it will be impossible for security to get to these guys, or help save Ulfric.
[Ulfric, in the meantime is slowly crawling in the ring, trying to get to his feet, as the blood continues to drain from his forehead.]
Promo: Security is dropping like flies!
E.D: Uh oh! The Doppelganger grabs Ulfric and this massacre isn't over yet..
[Spectre and the Doppelganger, with a sick smile on their face, slowly walk over to Ulfric, who is hanging outside of the ring, and pull him back inside and to the center. They flip Ulfric over on his back. The two men with clink the cattle prods together, and with sadistic smiles, pound the cattle prods into Ulfric's sides.]
Ulfric: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: The two men finally stop to admire their handiwork as the crowd boos!
E.D.: He's out cold, Promo! Ulfric isn't moving and I don't know if there's anymore security in the back that can help!
Promo: This is serious! Someone needs to get out there IMMEDIATELY and get Ulfric some medical attention- and even Jace for that matter!
[Spectre now straddles an unconscious Ulfric and screams into the microphone...]
Promo: OH MY GOD!!! NOW WHAT!!!
Spectre: Guess what, BACW!! I am back!!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Spectre: Bigger, better, badder...
Crowd: [BIGGER BOO!]
Spectre: [Looks at the Doppelganger, then back at the camera].... Hehehehehehe.... and now TWICE as unstoppable and evil!!
Crowd: [BIGGEST BOO OF THE NIGHT!]
[Then in a disgusting act, much akin to Judas Iscariot betrayal of the Christ, Spectre turns and kisses Ulfric on the cheek. Spectre stands up, and along with the Doppelganger raise their fists in the air as an act of defiance to the hostile crowd, who have already begun to throw trash into the ring.]
Promo: What a truly deplorable, unforgivable act by Spectre, and this Doppelganger. Someone in authority needs to lay down harsh punishment and fines on these two. Hell, I'll go so far as to far criminal charges! This was way over the line, and NO ONE should have had to endure this.
E.D: What I want to know is... Who is that Doppelganger? And WHY haven't we heard of Spectre having a brother or twin or whoever the hell this person is. Look at the mess they've left behind!!! There's shattered telephones, broken typewriters, glass all over the place from the monitors. There's blood everywhere, security guards and wrestlers all over the place like dead roaches.
[Finally Spectre and the Doppelganger leave amidst the anger and hostility of the crowd, disappearing by going back into the hole in the ring. Immediately after the two vanish, poor Lash comes back down to the ring, smiling and happy with a purple Sharpie in his hand, ready for Spectre's autograph, completely unaware of ANY of the carnage that just occurred.]
Promo: Here comes poor Lash.
Lashiel: I got Sharpie! LOOK! LOOK!!
E.D.: Poor Lash? Ulfric just took a man size beating while this kid was looking for a damn pen!
Promo: Sharpie...
E.D: WHATEVER!
[Lash quickly stops dead in his tracks, and looks around at the bloody mess and numbers of bodies littering the arena floor. He sees Jace lying in a pool of his own blood and goes over to try and wake him, until he sees Ulfric still gushing blood in the ring. In that instant, Lash's expression turns from a playful child to one of complete and utter horror.]
Lashiel: Pa?
[Lash quickly crawls into the ring and scampers over on his hands and knees to Ulfric and pulls him up close holding Ulfric's bloody head to his chest. Trying to scoop the blood from the canvas and put it back into Ulfric's head, Lashiel breaks down like never before.]
Lash: PA?!? PA?!? Wake up Pa!! PAAAAAA!!
End PPV
Post Show
[Jack Kraven walks into The Dynasty's locker room where Kai Kennedy is seen packing the HWA championship into his dufflebag. Jack looks in his locker area, then looks on the floor. He looks in the rest room and in the shower. He looks under the catering table and even in the garbage.]
Kai Kennedy: I can't believe we didn't get to finish that match. Did you know that was going to happen?
Jack Kraven: Me? Hells to the no! Look Kai, Batee likes to pull this crap every now and then so when it happens I just go with the flow. The referee signaled for us to leave and trust me, we did the right thing... By the way, have you seen the strap?
Kai Kennedy: "THE" Strap? You lost the NWA championship?
Jack Kraven: No. I had it when I arrived. I could've sworn I put it in my locker.
Kai Kennedy: Right here?
[Kai points to a slot in the locker that is filled with a small letter and a tiny gift box.]
Jack Kraven: What is it?
Kai Kennedy: A love note?
Jack Kraven: Well? You gonna read it or just stand there?
Kai Kennedy: ...
Dear Jacky,
I admitted to being an inferior wrestler to you before I passed on. You are the ONLY person who ever got that honor. Unfortunately, you are dumber than a box of rocks. You left your championship in your locker room and I hired someone to nab it for me. I told everyone I would die as the NWA champion and it looks like that is closer to reality than we ever thought. Sure, I may be petty. It could be construed that I am immature. I don't care about these insults because I duped the great Jack Kraven. Maybe if I didn't have the insider information that Matt McClain is easily distracted by meatball subs we would be singing a different story... but this is the letter that you got so I assume things went off without a hitch. That's all I really got for you buddy. See you... Never, I guess. Kurt.
Jack Kraven: What's in the box?
Kai Kennedy: Oh...WHAT THE FUCK!?
Jack Kraven: Tell me that isn't a bottle of semen.
Kai Kennedy: That is what it looks like...there is another note attached, but I'm staying away from this one.
Jack Kraven: ... curiosity killed the... best wrestler in the world, I suppose. Give it to me, I'll read it.
Dear Jacky,
By the way, I understand you just had a kid. Congrats! There is a slight chance that I impregnated your female companion. I know what you are thinking. NO! That is impossible, but the more you think about it, the more you are going to want to know. So here's a little liquid gold for you to stew on. If you gotta know, you gotta know.
Sorry about that.
Love and Kisses,
"The Instant Addiction" Kurt Chavez
[As the screen dims and credits start to roll, each and every fans watching has to ask... Has Kurt Chavez become the NWA's official Elvis? Is he dead? Is he alive? No one will ever really know for sure. But in the meantime, we see you next month...]
"Same Kurt time, same Kurt channel."
F2B
|
