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[Part 6]: NWA World Television Championship
Gaetan LaValle (c)
vs.
Chris Champion
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Richard Tate: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, the following match is scheduled for ONE FALL, with a TWENTY MINUTE time limit... and it is for the National Wrestling Alliance WORLD TELEVISION TITLE!
Crowd: [POP!]
Tate: Coming down the isle and entering the ring, he the former NWA World Heavyweight champion! Representing SCCW, this is Chris Champion!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Edgebrook: Before LaValle enters the ring, I want to share with you and the fans a little interview I conducted with the Champion right before we went on the air.
Victoria: A bit of Q&A huh?
Edgebrook: I think you'll find this pretty interesting.
[Shuffling his papers Edge clears his throat and reads...]
Edgebrook: First question I asked was if Gaetan was confident or worried coming into his match tonight?
Victoria: Well considering Chris Champion's arm is bigger than his entire head, I would say he's extremely worried.
Edgebrook: Surprising he said... "I'm always confident... even when, really, I shouldn't be."
Victoria: So not only is he stupid, but he's delusional too.
Edgebrook: Perhaps...
[Inside the ring, Chris Champion paces back and forth like a caged animal, ready to attack, while the Q&A continues.]
Victoria: So what's next?
Edgebrook: I then asked him if he was wary of a sneak attack by someone other than his opponent.
Victoria: First of all, Griffin Hawkins is still in the building, and that most likely means there's a pretty big possibility he can throw the champ a curveball before this one is all said and done. My question is, what happens when it comes to someone like Eric Bruce?
Edgebrook: Apparently it all goes back to his being confident.
[Seeing the announcers still talking, the challenger storms over to the ropes and peers over with a bad look on his face.]
Chris Champion: If you pukes don't shut the hell up, I'm going to come down there and play Dodgeball with your heads!
Edgebrook: ...and with that said, it's time to greet the Champion!
Victoria: Thank God!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Tate: And now for the Champion...
[The NWATron switches to snowy static, with white-noise to match.]
[Suddenly, the lower left hand corner shows- at about the size of a regular big-screen: WPIX-TV, from New York, with audio. Then, next to it, WNBC-TV, New York. Then the MSG network (oddly enough, showing us). Now, more stations join the others on the Big Screen, filling it up more by the second…
[ABC... CBS... Fox... CNN... the ESPNS... BBCs 1 through 5... the CBC... G4... faster now- Telemundo... Channel One, Australia…Game Show Channel... Sky... Japan's Asahi TV... NHK... France's Canal+... Dozens... now, HUNDREDS of channels... Each with their audio of their channels, forming a cacophony of chatter and sound, until finally...]
? TeleVISION... RULES THE NATION! (Around the wor-ld!)
? TeleVISION... RULES THE NATION! (Around the wor-ld!)
? (The wo-r-ld! The wo-r-ld! The wo-r-ld! The wo-r-ld! The wo-r-ld!...)
[Daft Punk's Harder Better Faster Stronger (Alive 2007 Radio Edit) starts, muting the 'channels', filling the Garden. Tate is just able to make himself heard over the music.]
Tate: ...making his Madison Square Garden debut!
[The bass-line kicks in, and colored lights shine all over the place, as Gaetan LaValle steps out onto the entryway, both fists rose over his head.]
Tate: Weighing in tonight at 84 kilograms, and standing proudly at 1.85 meters...
[The first thing you notice is the helmet he's wearing tonight. It's like an outsized full-face motorcycle helmet by way of the Cybermen, with a semi-opaque LED display for a faceplate. It scrolls the words GAËTAN LaValle in a continuous crawl, as he walks down the aisle, smacking the outstretched hands of what LaValle fans are standing along the entryway...]
Tate: ...Fighting out of L'Ile Saint Pierre, France- but tonight hailing from the LITTLE FRANCE NEIGHBORHOOD OF BROOKLYN, NEW YORK!
Crowd: [BIG old Cheap Heat pop... New Yorkers love hearing the words "New York"...]
[Besides that, he's wearing a sort of racing motorcycle jacket over his usual ring togs (black boots, blue trunks reading "GAETAN" on one leg, "LaValle" on the other), and wearing the TV Title around his waist.]
?????: Work it. Make it. Do it. Makes us... Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger.
Tate: ...a Self-Proclaimed “European Champion”, and the REIGNING NWA WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION-
?????: More than. Hour. Our. Never... Ever. After. Work Is. Over.
Tate: "The Little Citroën That Could"- GAËTAN! LaValle!
[As LaValle gets near ringside, he skips the steps entirely, hopping to the apron and flipping himself over the ropes. Landing in a crouch, he grabs the helmet and in one smooth motion pulls it off his head and whips his longish hair back, with a grin. ]
[He gently tosses the helmet to a ring attendant, then stands his full 5'10", and (throwing the sign-language letters "L" and "V" overhead) makes a short tour of the ring before handing the belt over to the ref. Now keeping a constant eye on Champion, LaValle shrugs the jacket off, and tosses it to the corner, revealing white-tape wristbands and no shirt. ]
[Silently, from our angle, the ref asks if both men are ready to go. Champion steps forward, looking like the Rock of Gibraltar… and LaValle steps forward, toe to toe...]
Edgebrook: It's kind of hard to start a stare down from six inches below your opponent, but you've got to give LaValle credit- he's trying! He's got guts.
Victoria: Hopefully the guts will be easy to clean up.
Edgebrook: Why do you say that?
Victoria: Champion's been to the big dance before, he's got advantages in reach, experience, size ... and he's got about a HUNDRED pounds on "Cirque du So Lame", there!
Edgebrook: With all the jokes aside, the referee is about to call for the bell and here we GO!
[Just then "Welcome to the Jungle" plays on the big screen, and we see Mister Batee sitting in his backstage office. Looking into the camera, the NWA President gets the wrestlers attention.]
Mister Batee: Hey gentlemen! Hey! Up here guys! Before you start his match I have something to say...
[Inside the ring, Champion and Gaetan move to neutral corners...]
Mister Batee: In the past, we have had some pretty lame TV title defenses and now that I'm in charge, that's all going to change! Bigger, better, and faster is what I promised and, in order to make good on that promise, not only will this match have twenty-five minute time limit, but it will also be held under "Mid-Atlantic" rules! That means, no DQ! And anything goes! So referee, ring the bell and hope everyone in attendance, "Enjoys the brutality!"
Crowd: [POP!]
Edgebrook: The referee signals to the timekeeper and here we GO!
[Wild haymaker misses as LaValle does a split and avoids the impact. Champion bounces off the ropes and in his agitated state, walks right into a drop toes hold. Champion head bounces off the mat like a super ball and, after quickly leaping up to the top turnbuckle, Gaetan impresses the crowd by landing a Fosbury Flop Moonsault! Looking into the crowd, LaValle copies Chris Champion's taunt and sticks his tongue out, mocking his opponent.]
Crowd: [POP!]
Edgebrook: I don't think Geatan wants to give Champion another reason to kill him.
Victoria: I think one reason is enough...
[BOOM!]
Crowd: [WOW!]
Edgebrook: The Cravate Cutter connects and Champion appears to be shaken in the early stages of the bout.
Victoria: I've never seen anything like that move! I looked like it was somewhere between the Diamond Cutter and Chris Hero's Cravate-o-Clasm.
Edgebrook: Only problem is it doesn't have that 'one-shot kill' ability that Gaetan so desperately needs tonight.
[Hooking the leg for a weak two count, Gaetan starts choking Champion with his own two bare hands.]
Edgebrook: LaValle's not a big man but he's throwing caution to the wind!
Victoria: No kidding?
Edgebrook: Watch how he uses every bit of motion he can, to make his impact just THAT much harder!
Victoria: And two hands around the throat of Chris Champion aren't hurting his efforts either.
[Inside the ring, the Champion twists into a springboard leg drop on Champion and crowd is eating up what this high flyer is doing. Going back to the well, Gaetan follows up with another springboard, but this time delivers a kick to the head off the top turnbuckle. Suddenly from the crowd, someone tossing in their ringside steel chair souvenir and without hesitation, LaValle throws it in the face of Champion who's still down in the corner.]
Edgebrook: Somehow, Gaetan has managed to get Champion up in the corner.
Victoria: Corsican Kick (Yakuza Kick) nails the challenger in the chin!
Edgebrook: He's climbing up to the top rope for a third time.
Victoria- He CAN'T be going for a corner punch...
Edgebrook: He's not!
[From the top rope, he bounces straight up, tucking his knees in. On the way down, he springs them out, adding extra force to the speed of the drop! Champion's head snaps back into the turnbuckle like he got whiplashed!]
Crowd: [WOW!]
[Champion, implausibly, slumps to a seated position and LaValle's climbing up again... this time the Frenchman handstands on the ropes of the top corner... Holding it as the crowd starts cheering for how long he can keep there... and he then swings in a dead-on dropkick to Champion's head again!]
Referee: ONE! TWO!!
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: No! Two!
Crowd: This is awesome! Clap clap clap-clap-clap! This is awesome! Clap clap clap-clap-clap! This is awesome! Clap clap clap-clap-clap!
Victoria: I can't believe I'm saying this, but Gaetan is dominating Chris Champion!
Edgebrook: I am utterly stunned.
[With the crowd behind him, LaValle unloads with a textbook springboard cross body on a wobbly challenger and tripping over his feet, both men fall through the ropes and to the outside. Shaking off the impact, Gaetan gets back into the ring, and as Champion pulls himself up with the air of the ring apron, he tries to slams into his face with a perfectly timed baseball slide. Seeing the move in time, Champion grabs hold of his leg and drops a big elbow right onto LaValle's knee.]
Crowd: [OH!]
[Reaching under the ring, Champion looks to get extreme and as the crowd gets to their feet, we now have a barbed wire board in play.]
Crowd: [POP!]
[Champion unloads with a series of face cracking punches and pushing LaValle off the ropes, drops him like a bad habit courtesy of a big boot. Champion grabs LaValle by the hair on the back of his head, and runs at the ropes to bail him over. At the last moment, LaValle grabs Champion by the neck, and jumps up so his legs are over the rope. Champion's own speed is used against him as LaValle slides down to the floor, and catches the Battle Machine's neck across the top rope in a Hot-Shot variation! Champion rebounds back into the ring, holding his neck, as LaValle catapults himself back into the ring for a Guillotine Leg Drop! ]
Edgebrook: OUCH!
[Champion then whips LaValle into the corner with a ring-shuddering impact...]
Crowd: [WHOA!]
[...and prepares to follow up with a running Spear but LaValle barely clears out of the way, and Champion hits the ring post HARD.]
Crowd: [OHHH!]
Edgebrook: Even that doesn't stop the Battle Machine, as he pulls himself up to go on.
Victoria: I'm so turned on right now it's not even funny.
[LaValle, in that moment, runs clear across the ring, bounds to the top buckle in the far corner- and hits a dropkick CLEAR ACROSS THE RING but Champion swats it away!]
Edgebrook: Chris Champion has had enough and wants to use the barbwire board!
[Yanking Gaetan up the hair, Champion tries to scoop slam him on top of the weapon of extreme, but LaValle counters and bulldogs Champion face and chest first right onto the barb.]
Crowd: [Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!]
Edgebrook: Champion struggles to get off the barb but the more he struggles, the more he seems to slice himself up!
Victoria: Clearly Mister Batee is getting exactly what he bargained for!
Edgebrook: What's that?
Victoria: He's turning this place into the Red Hook section of Brooklyn.
Edgebrook: Believe it or not, "Little France" a real place- just outside of Red Hook, in Brooklyn... In fact, there's a French expat community...
[Interrupting Edge...]
Victoria: Good for him. He'll have someplace to convalesce after this is over.
[With Champion bleeding all over the canvas, Gaetan twists his finger in the air, hits the ropes with a bit of a limp and attempts to plaster Champion with a running Senton bomb but Chris moves and Gaetan drops his back right over the barbed wire. The barbwire now slices into LaValle's back and trying to roll to his side, you can see the crazy amount of small lacerations formed.]
Edgebrook: The challenger is closing in again and folks if you have kids at home you might want to consider turning off the Television!
[Champion whips Gaetan to the ropes and sets up for a Thesz Press-style high body-block but Champion does it one better, shoving Gaetan vertically to about eight feet off the mat. Setting up under Gaetan, he finally greets him with a punch to the head on the way down.]
Crowd: [WHOAA!]
Edgebrook: Champion, with a twist on Hangman's "Walk On Air"! This might do it!
Referee: ONE! TWO!!
Crowd: [BIG POP!]
Edgebrook: And a KICKOUT! How the HELL is LaValle getting up from that?!
Victoria: More to the point, WHY? Champion's just going to keep using him for a human pinata!
Edgebrook: Gaetan Lacalle: three years into the sport, trained in Acadian, just off a hitch with Paradise Island Wrestling in the Bahamas, where he made a name for himself, beating even former Acadian Champion "The Big Dog" Jaye Doyle!
Victoria: Well... [mockingly] Chris CHAMPION: DECADE PLUS veteran of the sport, and former World's Heavyweight Champion. You can't compare the Acadian title and the World title- it's just a different caliber.
Edgebrook: Incidentally, speaking of that, Gaetan LaValle was in the same graduating class of wrestlers that gave us Bobby Briggs, the "All American", who as I recall, BEAT Chris Champion for that same belt.
Victoria: So?
Edgebrook: So?
[Champion simply starts a ground-and-pound and doing his trademark tongue wag, drives his knee right into the bridge of the Gaetan's nose.]
Victoria- Well, the trampoline-act's over...
[With LaValle stunned, he rolling from the ring and going back under the ring, a bloody Chris Champion then grabs a table and sets it up across the ring apron and guard railing. Going back under for a second time, he grabs a garbage can and...]
Edgebrook: LaValle from behind...
[CLANG!]
Victoria: Or not...
[...cracks it over the head of Gaetan who was trying to make his way to the outside. Flopping back into the ring in reverse Ric Flair-like fashion, Gaetan is slow to get to his feet.]
Edgebrook: Does Champion have another barbwire board?
Victoria: I believe he does!
[Setting that board across the ring apron and guard railing as well, a wobbly LaValle is back up in the ring and Champion is now on the ring apron. With both men splattered in each others blood, they exchange blows but Champion lifts Gaetan over the top rope to the ring apron. Tittering above the barbwire board, Battle Machine clotheslines the champion back in the ring.]
Edgebrook: And just like we predicted, the strength appears to be just too much for Gaetan LaValle.
Victoria: Here it comes AGAIN~!
[Irish whip into the ropes and Gaetan goes for a surprise front-flip dropkick... but Champion's got it scouted now. He runs INTO it, and easily turns it into a charging power bomb, that folds the self-proclaimed European Champion like a concertina!]
Crowd: [NOOOOO!]
[Only Champion's urge to humiliate keeps him from making the cover right away and, giving Gaetan a small amount of space, the Champion uses this break to his advantage. LaValle, taking advantage of the moment, twists Champion's arm and walks up the ropes, then along them, impressing the crowd...]
Crowd: [Whooo!]
[...until Champion shoves him bodily off the rope- NOT letting go of his arm, dropping to the mat and leaving him HANGING OVER THE TOP ROPE by his arm!]
Victoria: So much for his social life!
[LaValle kicks at the air and yells, until the ref makes Champion let go. LaValle crashes down to the mats, where he continues to writhe around on the canvas in pain. Going for the cover, LaValle rolls up Chris Champion in a small package and slamming the canvas for the fall, Champion barely gets his should up in time. Screaming at the referee that LaValle was pulling on his tights, Gaetan quickly pokes the eyes of the Battle Machine, stopping him dead in his tracks. Foot sweep knocks Champion on top of one of the tables, and hitting the ropes, LaValle springboards over and flips on top of Champion, sending both men crashing through the table.]
[CRRRaAAaACK!]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
[As the two are slow to recover, Champion grabs a piece of the table, but that just leads to Gaetan connecting with a spinning kick to the head using a table piece that Chris had in hand.]
Edgebrook: LaValle is going up on the apron!
[LaValle grabs Champion behind the back of the head and, jumping, nails him in the head with a jumping knee strike- just stunning the big guy. Taking the initiative, as the Battle Machine gets his bearings back, LaValle runs clean across the ring, rebounds himself off the far ropes, and-]
Crowd: [Ohhh!]
[...launches himself in a head-first, through-the-ropes, "Heatseeker" bullet tope, slamming Champion into the rails.]
Edgebrook: LaValle calls that "The Exocet Missile", Chris Champion calls it "painful"!
Crowd: [One more time! One more time! One more time!]
[As Champion tries to use the barbwire table to stand, and LaValle throws the "L" "V" hands up and whistles through his teeth. He then books it back into the ring and charging forward...]
[CRuUuunch!!!]
Edgebrook: Good God Almighty!
[Gaetan crashes through the barbed wire board that was placed across the ring apron and guard railing and brutally tears LaValle out of the barbed wire and tosses him inside the blood caked ring.]
Edgebrook: He doesn't...
Victoria: Oh yes HE does!
[Chris grabs another barbed wire board and positions it against the corner but some how, some way, Gaetan counters and sends Champion chest and arm first into the barbed wire board. The crowd explodes and LaValle tosses Champion down keeping the barbed wire board over his head.]
Edgebrook: I'm all for letting two guys go at it but this is ridiculous.
Victoria: Mister Batee isn't the former NWA World Hardcore Chairman for nothing!
[With blood dripping down his back and chest, Gaetan goes up top and leaping forward pulls off his incredible finisher called "Mirage d'Assaut" ... 'The French Revolution.]
Edgebrook: Triple Jump Springboard Quebrada! Are you kidding me!??!?!?!?!
Victoria: Champion's down! Champion's down! CHAMPION'S DOWN!!!!!
[On the outside Gaetan is clearly hurt and Champion is clearly out cold! Inside the ring, the referee looks over to the timekeeper and nods...]
Timekeeper: "Five... four... three... two... one!"
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Tate: Ladies and gentlemen… the time limit has expired- this match is a DRAW!
Crowd: [BOOO!]
Tate- ...and so… STILL your NWA World Television Champion, via time-limit draw... GAETAN LaValle!
Edgebrook: On the outside, the ref raises LaValle's hand and the champion has clearly been through a war. His hair's matted down with dried blood, and he looks like he just ran a marathon through a riot-zone...
Victoria: If this kind of match is what Mister Batee is bringing to his version of the National Wrestling Alliance, I think I'm going to start investing my money in body bags!
Edgebrook: Wait a minute... Will the referee allow these two more time?
Crowd: [FIVE more MIN-utes! [clap clap clapclapclap!] FIVE more MIN-utes! [clap clap clapclapclap!] FIVE more MIN-utes! [clap clap clapclapclap!]
Edgebrook: LaValle, looks to the timekeeper and ringside officials to see if he can get an extension...
Crowd: [FIVE more MIN-utes! [clap clap clapclapclap!] FIVE more MIN-utes! [clap clap clapclapclap!] FIVE more MIN-utes! [clap clap clapclapclap!]
Edgebrook: He even looks over at Chris Champion for an appeal, but the official draw appears to be staying in effect.
[Shaking with anger, Chris Champion limps away from the ring, disgusted as LaValle raises his title again... Appreciating what the Battle Machine brought to the ring tonight, the fans show their respect for the former world champion.]
Crowd: Thank you Chris! Thank you Chris! Thank you Chris!
[Inside the ring, a flesh torn LaValle joins the crowd in thanking Chris and then leaves [without fanfare] before the next match...]
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