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[Part 1]: View to a Kill!
[We open the pay-per-view with a cluster of static and as the camera comes into focus, we are given a topical examination of a very fine-looking dwelling from the backyard. The camera zooms onto an open envelope on the patio table revealing the address of our BACW owner Mr. Batee. Across the patio on egg shells, a gloved hand reaches from behind the mysterious lens opening the French doors with extreme caution. Gradually entering the residence, and hardly making a sound, the door clicks closed. Around the corner, we observe Mr. Batee's wife casually walking out onto her porch dressed in what appears to be a light weight pink robe. Bending over to pick up the paper that's carefully resting on the first stair, her robe parts, buckling just enough to show us how beautiful she really is. Feeling the voyeuristic draft, it's clear that there is an uncomfortable expression on her face as she quickly conceals her exposed skin immediately scanning the front yard. Pulling her robe tight at the neck in a protective fashion, her lovely voice echoes into the warm open air.]
Mrs. Batee: Hello?
[Her senses neither see nor hear anything suspicious, and removing the strangle hold on her robe, she turns on a dime heading back into the residence.]
Mrs. Batee: [Talking to herself] Must be my imagination...
[The screen fades to static.]
[Part 2]: Opening with Paul Prominski
[Play promo package.]
E-
[Music riff]
Wrrrestling! [Echo]
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Dot [Echo]
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Org!
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[Cue in video clip and ignite pyrotechnics.]
[BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
[Ringside.]
Paul Prominski: Hello everyone and welcome to BACW's first show of the new year! Welcome to 2008 Ways to Bleed!
Crowd: [YEAH!] Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
Promo: I'm your Host Paul Prominski and what a main event we have in store for you tonight! But before I give you my opinions on tonight's bookings, let me introduce to you my special Co-Host for the evening; ladies and gentlemen, BACW Hall of Famer and multi-time heavyweight champion; Michael "Snake Eyes" Cavenaugh!
Crowd: [YEAH!] Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back!
Michael Cavenaugh: [In his raspy voice] Thanks for having me but if you will excuse me for a second, there are a few people I need to acknowledge.
[Getting up from his seat, Cavenaugh lets both middle fingers fly and the Hammerstein explodes.]
Crowd: You're hardcore! You're hardcore! You're hardcore!
Promo: Well the fans are right, you're not only one of the greatest athletes to ever step inside a BACW ring, but you indeed are one of the toughest in the business.
Crowd: You're hardcore! You're hardcore! You're hardcore!
Cavenaugh: It's nice to be remembered, respected, and honored by some of the most educated fans in the world but let's move on Paul because this show isn't about me anymore, it's about the guys and gals who make BACW what it is today.
Crowd: Snake! Snake! Snake!
Cavenaugh: [Wiggling his finger in his ear.] You know Paul, now I know why lion eat their young.
Promo: They're just a tad bit excited to see you but tell me your thoughts on this champion verse champion main event. With both titles suspended in the air, how do you see Mike Sloan's chances of becoming BACW Heavyweight champion?
Cavenaugh: I have never wrestled Mike Sloan but from his headshot I can tell the guy has an ego the size of Universe Man's ass! Ont he other hand, Spectre looks like Universe Man's ass in purple underwear so it's pretty much a toss up. Serisouly Paul, how is a guy like Spectre is going to climb a 15 foot ladder, reach up, balance, and take hold of a title is beyond me, but needless to say, I'm actually anxious to see this train wreck take place.
Promo: I'm not fan of Spectre's and you do have a point with regards to Mike Sloan's Adonis-like physic.
Cavenaugh: [Interrupting Promo] Careful Paul or you might turn this show into an underground bathhouse.
Promo: [Rolling his eyes] As I was saying... it's not going to be easy for Spectre to retain his title against a guy like Mike Sloan, but if he can wear down our regional champion, he just might be able to buy himself enough time.
Cavenaugh: There's isn't enough money in Mr. Batee's bank to convince me that an almost 400 pound man can do what you are expecting this guy to do here tonight.
Promo: Fair enough... But folks, Spectre vs. Sloan isn't the only match we have planned for you on this show. Opening the card, we will see the return of Misanthropic as they go head to head with struggling Sex Symbols.
Cavenaugh: Natas and Blood Thrilla have been in the game for a long time but seeing them in the ring in 2008 makes me think of a glory hole rather than Bruce Springstein's Glory Days. Then you have the Sex Symbols who are one of the premire tag teams in the business so I have to ask you Paul, do you really think Misanthropic is going win tonight?
Promo: I would say it's possible but not probable. [Shuffles papers] Have an opinion on the Alec Ace against Jeff Harris match?
Cavenaugh: Alec Ace has great drive but zero follow through and Harris is far too new for me to really tell him why he might suck the life out of this match. Gun to my head, Alec Ace wins easily over Jeff Harris.
Promo: What about the inter-promotional... [Paul pauses cupping his hands over the headset] One moment Mike, I'm getting word from the back that Mr. Batee has just seen the opening of the show and is frantically making a call to his head of security Jeremy King regarding his wife who's vacationing at their summer home in Hawaii.
Cavenaugh: What the hell is that troll worrying about? He's in New York with no wife to nag him; lots of clubs to grind women at, and lots of booze to make him forget why he continues to wake up with strange man in his bed every morning.
[Cavenaugh rubs his goat-tee chuckling at Mr. Batee's expense.]
Promo: [Ignoring the joke] Folks we have to go into the back, but when we return it's going to our first contest between The Sex Symbols and Misanthropic.
[PSSSSSSFTTT!]
Promo: [Looking over at Mike] Did you just fart?
Cavenaugh: Can't prove it...
Promo: We'll see you in a few
[F2B]
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