|
|
[Part 9]: Beware the Ides of March
[As Sloan exits Mr. Batee's office, he picks up the phone and starts dialing. There is a brief pause, and then there is a muffled response.]
Mr. Batee: Has Mike Cavenaugh left the building already? ... Excellent! ... Has anyone seen anything suspicious? ... You're sure? ... I'm a marked man Jeremy and when you're 100%, I'm going to need you by my side again. ... We can talk about the details later ... Oh shit...
Kimo Newton: YO! YO! YO! If it isn't Fernando the coffee bean man! You thought it was funny to dump that hot coffee in my lap at the hospital last month? Well dawg, pay backs are a bitch and she just gots out of prision!
[Batee immediately ducks under his desk.]
Mr. Batee: [Whispering] Jeremy, I need help!
[Click]
[Hanging up the phone, Batee peers from his knees around the corner of the desk.]
Mr. Batee: [Faking a smile] Kimo, how the heck are you boy?
Kimo: How you think I feel? Yo man, my fagizzle is frizzled!
Mr. Batee: Well I'm sorry about that Kimo but you shouldn't have been riding around in that wheel chair.
Kimo: We need to talk!
Mr. Batee: Is this about your Newton Apple Cam!
Kimo: Yo dawg it's called Kimo Cam!
Mr. Batee: Whatever! I still don't have time for it.
[Kimo stands there amused shutting the door behind him and takes a seat in front of his desk.]
Mr. Batee: [Rolling his eyes] Why don't you have a seat.
Kimo: Dog get out from under tha desk! I haven’t come hurr to hurt you… I’ve came here because we have a serious problem on our hands…
[Batee pops up his head and dusts off his knees.]
Mr. Batee: Problem?
Kimo: Yes Batee problem! Chris Ross is out of control dog… I have no idea what that Looney is planning but something is going down tonight… What I have no idea. Someone needs to stop this madness man… At least back in the old days I had some form of control over him but now he’s like out thurr on a different planet dog!
Mr. Batee: Well yes, Chris does have a few issues. But Kimo, he tried to set the last doctor I sent him to on fire and people won't return my calls.
Kimo: Yo Dawg, I said I needed your help!
Mr. Batee: You came after me at the hospital with a lead pipe… Why should I help you?
[Kimo takes a deep breath looking at Batee.]
Kimo: Because dog I’m an islander and Islanders stick together with each other but at this point I’m willing to break that bond! I wasn’t the one who said to go after Mrs. Batee… I wasn’t the one who said to possibly end Jeremy King’s career… I wasn’t the one who said to start attacking innocent people… All I said dog was make Mr. Batee notice you… All Ross did was use me as a fucking pawn in lord knows what kind of sick scheme he has!
Mr. Batee: Kimo, can you keep a secret?
Kimo: You know it Dawg!
Mr. Batee: Well then this is what I suggest....
[Part 10]: Redemption
[The camera goes to backstage where we see Jeff Harris standing next to Candice Hoffman once again, Jeff looks different than what we saw a couple of months ago in January, he has more of an aggressive look on his face.]
Candice Hoffman: Hello fan-boys and fan-girls, once again I'm your sexy on the scene xZone Reporter Candice Hoffman, and I'm standing next to Jeff Harris as he prepares for his match against Ogre Lambart, two of the biggest men in the promotion will lock horns in a 10,000 tacks match. Jeff, Ogre has remained pretty quiet as of late but his history has shown that he can be pretty violent in matches, what are your thoughts going into this match?
Jeff Harris: What are my thoughts? Well, one thought was who the hell is Ogre Lambart? I mean seriously a select few may know him but he obviously isn’t in the same league as me otherwise he’d be better known. You think he’s violent in matches? I don’t think I need to list my achievements and conquests yet again, I’d be sounding like a broken record if I did, the fact is this Candice, I fear no one, the reason he’s remained quiet is because he doesn’t want to piss me off more than I already am, he wants to actually continue in this business rather than get his career ended at the hands of me. I will admit that I am not very experienced in this type of match but that will not matter because I adapt to my surroundings.
Candice: Well your last match against Alec Ace resulted in a loss to you after you injured your knee yet again, you have had two more months off to rehabilitate it, are you worried that this match could result in you taking more time off?
Jeff: Well I signed a contract with BACW I told Batee that my knee wasn’t hundred per cent, he offered to keep me off the shows until I was ready, but I have never been a patient man, I told him that I would be fit to wrestle in January, when that time came my knee didn’t hold out. My knee was only about 75% then but I can assure you that it’s 100% right now. It’s never felt better actually, so I’m going out there in the best shape I’ve been in for years, I owe Batee for taking a chance on me, when I was injured two months ago I knew that my momentum and popularity was dwindling, people thought I just couldn’t do it anymore, that I was a shell of my former self, well people have thought that before and all it does is make me strive to prove them all wrong, I’ve proved everyone wrong before and tonight I will do it again, I’m going out there and I’m winning this match, no excuses Ogre, when you lose it will simply be because I am better than you are.
Candice: Did you have help training for this match?
Jeff: I did.... That’s right, after all the shit I put them through, my greatest friends were there at my side, each of them are some of the greatest wrestlers this business has ever seen and I have been truly blessed to have been associated with them for as long as I have. Tonight, I will show that their hard work has paid off; I shall not let them down. Tonight Candice, "All Fucking That" returns to form.
[Jeff nods at Candice and walks off towards the gorilla area to prepare for his upcoming match.]
[Part 11]: 10,000 Tacks
Orge Lambart
Vs.
Jeff Harris
[We rejoin the ringside announcer's.]
Promo: Gosh that Jeff Harris one class act huh Eric?
E.D: [Softly touching his bloody bandages] I don't know Paul, I mean, I think Spectre broke something inside my head.
Promo: You'll be okay!
[Back slap!]
E.D: [Arching in pain] UGH!!
Promo: I know you're hurting E.D. but here comes Orge Lambart. It appears he's ready too...
[WHACK!]
Crowd: [OH!]
[...Suddenly Jeff Harris comes out of no where and hits Orge over the head with a chair.]
Promo: Harris is already bringing out the hardware.
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
E.D: I wouldn’t be surprised if he takes up a notch here tonight.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Promo: Indeed, and as Orge tries to crawl into the ring, the referee has called for the bell, so here we GO!
[Orge stagger to his feet trying to slink towards the ropes and the fans are going crazy as Harris follows close still gripping the dented chair he used moments ago. Behind him like a stalker, this is a very different Jeff Harris than the one previously seen on BACW TV, and the fans can sense his extreme vibe right away.]
Crowd: One more time! One more time! One more time!
Promo: The fans are going crazy, and you can tell they smell blood!
E.D.: I have never seen so many bags being waved in the air since the "Old Women Need Sex 2" seminar!
Promo: The crazy part is each and every one of them is full of hundreds of tacks!
E.D: Harris just emptied an entire back into his fist! What's he going to do with that?
[Harris grabs Orge by the chin and lifting him up as the crowd continues to rumble, Jeff smirks, and then open hand slaps Lambart across the face with the tacks!]
Crowd: [OOO!]
Promo: Holy Pinhead! Lambart's face is riddled with extreme!
E.D: Orge reels, and quickly retrieving the chair, Harris steps right into another chair shot and Orge wilts like a porn star after the money shot.
Crowd: You're hardcore! You're hardcore! You're hardcore!
[The tacks drive further into his now bloody face and Harris drops the chair in favor of his opponent.]
Promo: Orge is out of it already and although this one just began, I just don't know how much longer it can continue?
E.D: Harris is bad to the bone!
[Rolling Orge into the ring, Jeff tosses him into the ropes and running in fast, Harris hits a clothes line that spins Orge 360 degrees over the logo. Allowing the injured Orge to stagger back to his feet, Jeff lands a few lefts followed by a huge right.]
Crowd: WE WANT TACKS!!! WE WANT TACKS!!!!
Promo: Harris knows what these fans want.
E.D: And if he's smart he will give it to them!
Promo: Are you scratching your balls?
E.D: I hate being outdoors.
[On the outside, Harris grabs two bags of tacks from the fans and holding them up, it uncorks the biggest pop of the night. Climbing back into the ring, Jeff starts swinging wildly with the tacks in windmill like fashion.]
[Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!]
[Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!]
[Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!]
[Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!] [Crack!]
[Crack!] [Crack!]
[Crack!]
Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!
Promo: Orge falls to the ground unable to stop the assault and curling in a defensive position, the referee really needs to start thinking about stopping this match.
Promo: I am not sure that’s how the tacks are supposed to be used, but it sure as hell is affective.
E.D: Kick to the face hits the mark!
Promo: Once again Orge is eating canvas and right now his bleeding is so bad, I can't even tell that it's him.
E.D: Harris just doesn’t seem to have a heart.
Promo: From what I'm seeing it's black as coal.
[Impatient for Jeff to use the tacks, the fans start tossing their bags into the ring and one by one, Harris opens them up and dumps them out on the mat. This break gives Orge a chance to get to his feet but unable to see through the blood, Harris sends Orge right back down to the mat with a brutal DDT!]
Crowd: [OH!]
Fan: Someone get Lambart a body bag!!!
[Orge grabs his face and rolls out of the ring. On the grass with the fans going nuts, he frantically pulls the tacks from his face.]
E.D: Now that has to suck!
Promo: Orge is walking out into the park and I don't blame him! Harris started this match a nasty chair shot and has followed through with brutality like never before seen in a bout of this nature.
[The fan part as Orge wobbles through the crowd, and hot on his tail, Harris goes after him with people shouting words of encouragement. Orge meets the barrier and unable to escape, walks back towards an approaching Jeff Haris.]
E.D: Hard clothesline and down goes Harris!
Promo: Now I know why Mr. Batee hired someone like Harris.
E.D: It's all about the Benjamin's!
[Orge turns around as the camera catches the brown mud smeared all over his face. Thinking it's something else, Lambart freaks out as the crowd laughs hysterically.]
Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!
Promo: I don’t think Orge finds that very funny.
E.D: Those fans better watch out, Orge has nothing to lose right now and everything to gain.
Promo: I agree, let’s just call the match before he comes over here.
[As Harris closes in once again, Orge starts throwing lefts and rights, but they are doing little effect on Harris who nails Lambart with a right of his own! Falling sideways and into a tree, the bark tears Orge's back raw as the crowd grimaces from his expression.]
Promo: This isn’t looking good.
E.D: When did it ever look good?
[Orge stumbles from the tree right into Harris’ arms and look out; sloppy body slam leaves grass stains on the former regional champion. Harris backs up looking for a two step and not looking down, stumbles over a picnic basket.]
Promo: Harris looks furious.
E.D: What are people doing having a picnic in the middle of the action?
Promo: The must be smarter than the average bear.
Promo: This is Central Park you know people eat picnics here from time to time.
E.D: It's a wrestling event?!
[Bending over, Harris reaches into the picnic basket and pulls out a glass plate when from behind, Orge grabs him spinning him around.]
[SMASH!]
E.D: Lock-n-Load, Harris with the glass plate to the head and Orge stumbles backward in sheer pain. Harris goes back into the basket and pulls out a sandwich, takes a bite, and throws the basket at Orge.]
Promo: He’s eating a sandwich?
E.D: I don't know what to say to that... I really don't.
[Chewing the bite into tiny pieces, Harris spits it right into Orge's face. Orge falls to one knee and looking up Harris slaps him across the face with the half eaten sandwich. Orge tries for a desparation low blow, but Harris blocks it and pushes Orge back with a knee to the face.]
Promo: Harris is starting to move slower and perhaps his knee is acting up on him?
E.D: If Harris doesn't have the stamina to wrestle in an extreme fashion, perhaps he should think about retiring?
Promo: He is reaching his prime quickly but from what I see, he still has plenty in the tank.
[Taking a deep breath, Harris rotates Orge to his feet and yanking up into a suplex; sends Lambart spine first into the tree. Pushing off the tree upon impact, Jeff falls forward hitting a face buster from hell.]
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
Promo: My God, Orge’s back could have been broken.
E.D: Serves him right for agreeing to a match like this without going through the proper training.
[Harris goes for a pin, but as the referee gets into position to count, he pulls Orge’s shoulder off the grass. Harris motions for Orge to get back into the ring and walking through the crowd, Orge doesn't follow. Instead, Lambart starts climbing the tree!]
Crowd: Jump! Jump! Jump!
E.D: Looks like Orge is going to try and hide out for a bit.
Promo: But Harris is walking away from where he's climbing!
[Harris is lost in the crowd and up in the tree, Orge motions for the sea of extremists to part. The fans divide and Orge leaps from the tree. Spinning around, Harris swings a hidden weapon and Ogre catches a crutch to the gut.]
Crowd: [OH!]
Promo: Harris brings the crutch down on Orge’s back and my God that had to hurt!
E.D: I hope Harris realizes now some fan can’t walk out of here because his carelessness.
Promo: Like you really care.
E.D: You're right I don't... It must be the bump on my head.
[Tossing the broken crutch into the crowd, Harris drags a blood crusted Orge Lambart through the crowd stopping at one fan holding an "I love Harris" sign. The little girl stands on her chair and Harris directs her to slap Orge right across the face.]
E.D: That little girl better watch out getting involved in the action isn’t a good thing.
Promo: Where are her parents?
[The mother quickly pulls the little girl to the side and slamming Orge's head against the steel steps, Lambart's nose opens like a faucet. Lambart stumbles back and landing in sit down position, slumps forward like he's dead.]
E.D: Harris grabs bags at random from the fans and starts throwing them into the ring one by one. The sacks break and the tacks pour out into the ring as the crowd goes crazy with each bag that hits the canvas!
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
Promo: Business is about to pick up.
E.D: Or is about to go belly up!
Promo: I think that chair shot in the beginning took a lot out of Orge.
[Harris gets into the ring and immediately starts dumping the closed bads of tacks on the mat. The crowd continues to scream over the referee as he is trying to ask Orge if he is ok to go on with the match. Harris rolls from the ring under the ropes, and sliding a fresh chair into the ring, follows with only hate in his eyes.]
Promo: Harris looks serious about ending this!
E.D: We are finally going to get to see some more blood.
Promo: Finally? Orge's been bleeding since that first chair shot.
E.D: You're so technical.
[Jeff yanks Orge to his feet as the referee backs up and taking a running start, bashes Lambart into the post with a thump! Body slam on logo and Orge can do nothing but lays motionless on the canvas.]
Crowd: WE WANT TACKS!!!!! WE WANT TACKS!!!!!! WE WANT TACKS!!!!!!
Promo: Harris is going to give these people what they want.
E.D: Hell I want the tacks too!
[Orge grabs Harris by the pants and tries to pull himself up but Harris jams his head between his legs and leaning back, sends Lambart head first on the tacks with a pile driver.]
Crowd: [OOO!]
E.D: Orge rolls over with tacks in pain and foaming at the mouth, he looks like a rabid dog that needs to be put to sleep.
Promo: Harris needs to put the last nail in the coffin right now.
E.D: I think Orge's out cold.
[Harris motions to the crowd and picking a limp Orge off his back, he sends him back to the mat with another pile driver. Onto the tacks for a second time, the place explodes as Orge can do nothing but quiver on the canvas.]
Promo: I don't think Harris is done.
E.D: He's grabbing two bags of tacks and oh no, he's dumping them on an open steel chair. Oh yes he is finally going to end his career.
Promo: You’re enjoying this aren’t you?
E.D: Thoroughly!
Promo: MY GOD NO!!!!
[THUD!]
Promo: A third pile driver but this time onto the tack ridden chair!
Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!
E.D: A nice puddle of blood is forming as Harris places his foot on Orge's chewed up head!
Promo: The referee begins the count.
Crowd: ONE!!!!!
[The refs hand comes down.]
Crowd: TWO!!!!
[The ref makes the final count to the mat.]
Referee: THREE!!!!!
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Promo: Wow! What a match!
E.D: I agree!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Your winner of the bout by pin fall! "All F'N That" Jeff Harris!
Crowd: [POP!]
[After the fall, the referee raises Jeff's hand as the crowd continues to chant. Looking into the sea of BACW-mania, Harris stands there breathing hard. Motioning for the microphone, Jeff calls for a bit of airtime.]
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
E.D: Sounds like Jeff isn’t finished here tonight.
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
[Jeff takes a moment to catch his breath; the fans are still cheering loudly for him.]
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
Jeff Harris: As I said earlier tonight, I will silence all the critics that dare to question my ability to perform, my name is Jeff Harris and that alone should be all you need. I got injured, who the hell hasn’t in this business? I will say one thing…
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
[Jeff pauses still breathing heavily, the crowd still cheering almost rioting.]
Jeff: I will say… one thing; whoever wins the Heavyweight championship tonight, whether it’s that idiotic Spectre or that complete joke Particle Man, you better hold tightly onto that title because sooner or later I will knock everyone out of the way! If your name is Chris Ross, Ulfric, Sloan, Jeremy King, Cavenaugh or even that half wit McClain then you should be afraid, because Jeffrey James Harris is coming for you. I’m coming… for all of you. Nothing is going to stop me from winning the championship and becoming the most dominant force in BACW, people have tried to stop me in other companies and failed, this will be no different.
[The crowd begins chanting his name as he throws the microphone to the ring announcer.]
Promo: Is he serious? He’s probably just angered half of this company.
E.D: Some how I don’t think Jeff cares.
Promo: Let's take a moment to take a break.
[“Power Struggle” by Sunna starts up as Jeff makes his way to the back.]
[Part 13]: GAWDFUCKINGDAMNIT!
[I shut the door and just walk away. That’s the best thing I could do at the moment, cause I know what is to come next.]
Mike Sloan: I just wanted to win one damn thing….
[Stage crew line the hallways now, they’re trying to move the show along, trying to set up the next series of vignettes.]
Mike Sloan: Shit…
[I look into the eyes of one of the production crew.]
Mike Sloan: Why did it have to be him? Why?
[The guy just looks at me, staring at me blankly.]
Mike Sloan: Gawd FUCKINGdamnIT!
[I continue down the hallway and I spot Alec Ace. He’s going to be in the Grinder match.]
Mike Sloan: Hell, I could beat you!
[I point at Ace, who is sipping a bottle of water.]
Mike Sloan But, him… Fucking Hell! Why not just color me Superman and him kryptonite…
[Ace steps away from me, I know I’m ranting, but sooner or later I’m going to have to make my case.]
Mike Sloan: Rick… Matt… Any of them. What in the Hell is he doing here?
[I stop and look at my dressing room door.]
Mike Sloan: I thought he didn’t even like Batee?
[I turn around and head back towards the scene of the crime.]
Mike Sloan: Hold the FUCK on…Hell hasn’t frozen over yet!
[Fade to black]
[Part 13]: Next SuSpect
[The Spectre is walking down the hall with the ring wrench still in his hands. It seems to be leading him down the hallway, when suddenly it makes him stop in front of the locker room of Matt “The Crippler” McClain.]
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Spectre seems agitated as he looks at Matt’s name on the door. He rubs his face from top to bottom with his hand, and scowls at the name.]
Spectre: So help me God, MATTY! If you stole my belt, I’m gonna beat the living shit out of you!
[Spectre doesn’t even knock on the door. Instead he barges in and begins surveying the area. No one is inside the room, so Spectre begins his search of the room using the ring wrench as both a divining rod and a weapon of mass destruction. The wrench directs him over to a mini fridge. Spectre flings the door open and inspects the inside of the fridge. He scowls at the bottled drinks inside as he tosses them to the floor.]
Spectre: Sobe?! Monster?! Very fine?! Propel?! What the hell?! Good God, Matty, and no wonder you’re so hyper in the ring! Jeez!
[Spectre knocks over the mini fridge, and makes his way over to a duffle bag sitting on top of a bench. Not caring how big of a mess he makes, he tosses garments and shoes hither and thither. He even tosses out a used Playboy magazine he found inside Matt’s…oh, wait…not quite… Spectre pauses, and opens up the magazine long ways, looking at that month’s centerfold. Spec cracks a sly grin, and tosses the magazine to the ground. He then dumps the bag upside down, not finding any belt. He moves on to the lockers themselves. Two of them are unlocked. Spectre yanks open the lockers and finds nothing. The third locker, however, is locked. Spectre bashes on the lock repeatedly until the locker is busted. Spectre rips the locker door off its hinges, convinced his belt is inside, yet finds nothing except Matt’s street clothes.]
Spectre: Damn it!
[Spectre looked around the locker room, not noticing that The Crippler himself had entered his locker room.]
Matt McClain: Oh, no you didn’t! You DIDN’T just destroy MY locker room, you purple haired cock muncher! What the hell do you think you’re doing? And what the hell are you doing in MY locker room!
Spectre: Looking for something!
McClain: If you’re talking about your Heavyweight Title, I don’t have it, you crazy bastard! How dare you come in here and destroy MY personal property! And how dare you insinuate that I took your precious belt! If I want to take your belt all I have to do is beat you in the ring! I don’t have to stoop to thievery! What kind of person do you think I am?!
[Spectre laughs, as if he wanted Spectre to really answer that question.]
Spectre: Just trying to eliminate you as a suspect, MATTY, that’s all.
[Matt moves out of the walkway.]
McClain: I think for your own safety and well-being, Spectre, you need to get the hell out of my locker room before I slap my Breaking Point on you like I’ve done before! And I KNOW you’ve felt that before, and I KNOW you don’t want to feel THAT again!
[Spectre glares at McClain and walks quickly up to him. Neither man blinks as they try to stare one another down. Finally Spectre smirks, shrugs his shoulders, and giggles.]
Spectre: He-heh-hehe-he… No problem, Matty. I knew you’d never take my belt. You’re not the type of person who would do that. Just making sure I leave no stone unturned. You have a nice day, ok!
[Spectre walks out of the room, leaving Matt McClain fuming. As he watches Spectre walk down the hall, Matt shakes his head in disgust.]
McClain: Cock muncher!
Click HERE to continue show
|
