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[Part 14]: Opinions are like...
[Men’s Bathroom- a couple of fans are inside washing their hands discussing BACW events.]
Fan #1: Man, that Chris Ross is one crazy son-of-a-bitch! You watch... He’s going to take that title away from Spectre someday, mark my words.
Fan #2: No way, man. Snake Eyes will win it at Grinder and Ross can't beat him; the man is a BACW legend.
Fan #1: Snake Eyes?! Are you kidding me? The guy is rusty as hell! I don’t care if he has won a bunch of titles. He’s not going to win because although I love Ross, my money is on Spectre to win it back to back.
Fan #2: Spectre? You’re crazy as he is!
Fan #1: Say what?
Fan #2: Do you know hard it is to repeat, let alone WIN The Grinder? Spectre was lucky last year because he drew the last position. Shit! He could draw number ONE this time! And THEN where would your prediction be, huh?
[Both men wipe their hands off with a paper towel, and walk toward the door.]
Fan #1: My prediction would still be valid because Spectre has won previous battle royals when he drew the number one.
Fan #2: Yeah, but it wasn’t in BACW or better yet, it wasn't Grinder.
[Right as the two men reach the door, The Spectre kicks open the door, knocking both teenagers to the ground. Spectre is STILL looking for his belt, and from the spit hanging from his lower lip, you can see he is seething mad. Pulling up the second fan by the collar, he begins scream into his face.]
Spectre: WHERE IS IT! WHERE THE HELL IS MY BELT!
Fan #2: I-I don’t know what you’re talking about! I don’t have it! Please don’t hurt me!
Spectre: [Holding the ring wrench against the fan’s face] You see this, you piece of shit! This ring wrench pointed in here, telling me that MY belt is in here! So where is it? WHERE IS IT!!
Fan #1: This is SO cool!
[The fan is too scared and afraid to speak, so Spectre just shoves him back to the ground. Spectre digs inside the large trash can, and turns it upside down only to find the bottom of the can instead of his belt.]
Spectre: ARRRRGGGHHH!!!
[Emptying the trash can on the first fan; Spectre heads over to the stall doors. One by one he kicks the doors open, only to find absolutely nothing. The last stall however is locked, so Spectre kicks the door extra hard, and finds a man sitting on the toilet taking a dump.]
Spectre: Where’s my fucking belt, ass wipe! [Moving his hand over his nose] Oh my GOD!!! You better pray my belt isn't in here!
Man: I-I-I-I-I don’t know where it is. Please, I’m innocent... and without pants!
[Spectre gnashes his teeth and yanks the man off the toilet seat. He reaches with his hand down into the toilet, hoping that the man discarded the title as a means to hide it. Unfortunately for Spectre, he only found a handful of logs.]
Spectre: ARRRRRGGGGHH!!!!!! I’m gonna kill whoever has my belt!!
[Storming out of the bathroom and leaving three victims behind, Spectre grows tired.]
Spectre: Damn, I think I need a V8.
[Commercial pose... now fade.]
[Part 15] NE Regional Championship
Mike Sloan
Vs.
Chris Ross
[Regrouping at the announcer's table, Promo can do nothing but shake his head.]
Promo: Something tells me Spectre needs to stop the insanity and start concentrating on his match.
E.D: Paul, if there is one thing I know it's this. On any given Sunday, anyone in BACW can defeat anyone.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Promo: Eric, we are ready for our Northeastern regional championship.
E.D: Let’s go to the ring!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Michael Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest is going to be for BACW's Northeastern regional championship!
Crowd: [YEAH!]
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
[The cheers erupt around the ring and announcers seems to pretty excited about what's about to take place in the ring.]
Promo: This match is going to be awesome! Sloan is an up and coming champion who has a serious shot at winning Grinder, where as Chris Ross has been completely dominant.
E.D: I can appreciate the match up but when did the feud between these two escalate?
Promo: Perhaps it’s Mr. Batee trying to cash in on Sloan's big name before he injures himself?
Stuffher: Introducing first, he is the challenger…
[Suddenly the lights go out in the arena and a dark dreary feeling comes across the arena.]
PA: THE NAME IS CHRIS ROSS... DON'T YOU FORGET IT!!!
[As the words come across the PA a volcanic explosion happens and Unreal by Ill Nino starts to play.]
Nothing is all, I thought I was there
I'm finding myself going nowhere
Is this a mistake?
I cannot relate to what is fake
[Finally appearing on stage with his New York State Title on his shoulder, and his staple gun in his hand, Ross lets out a lions roar as the lights start to flicker in serial killer like fashion.]
Is this what I get for learning to speak?
For opening eyes and digging in deep?
Is this what I get for being reborn from the norm?
[Ross storms down the ramp and slides into the ring climbing one of the top turnbuckles raising his title and his staple gun in the air.]
Crowd: ROSS! ROSS! ROSS!
I don't want to shine; light will make us blind
I don't want to feel unreal
What have I become, born under the sun?
Planets will converge for you
[Ross hops off the rope and places his staple gun under the bottom turnbuckle.]
Stuffher: ... and now in the ring, weighing in at a massive 300 pounds... from Honolulu Hawaii... He is your New York State Heavyweight champion; he is "Krazy" Chris Ross.
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Promo: And now for the champion!
[The lights fade as the melodic opening notes of Sloan's entrance music hit the speakers. A pair of spotlights illuminates the entranceway, where the curtain remains closed. As the last two lines play, there he is, standing in front of the curtain is the Bad Ass Championship Wrestling Northeastern regional champion: "The Dark Horse" Mike Sloan.]
[Slowly, Sloan makes his way to the ring, his head lowered. His steps are made with purpose, his stride meaningful. His eyes are locked on the ring, where he will finally do battle with Chris Ross. The music continues as Mike slowly climbs the stairs and enters the ring.]
Promo: You have to wonder what’s going through Sloan’s head… all week, it’s been up in the air whether or not he’d even show up tonight, and I think most people had him counted out… himself included.
E.D: How could you not have doubts entering a match like this?
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, YOUR BACW northeastern regional champion... please welcome, “THE DARK HORSE” MIKE SLOAN!
[The crowd splits evenly, with roughly half booing and half cheering. Sloan removes his title and tosses it into the center of the ring, waiting for the match to start.]
Promo: Sloan has entered the ring, the referee has called for the bell, and here we GO!
[Inside the ropes, Sloan seems too at ease with his setting while the unpredictable stomping of the crowd startles Ross. Charging Sloan with a football tackle and hammering away, Ross turns up his violence mode. Short one inch punches to the stomach forces the wind from Mike’s body and with the match under control; Ross goes to work pulling Mike to his feet as Sloan surprisingly gasps for air.]
E.D: Reaching up, it's am eye rake from Sloan and with Ross blinded, Sloan closes in fast. Ross uses his ringmanship to counter the aggressive charge by scooping the challenger off the canvas and coming down hard with a jerking back breaker, the champion is in trouble.
Promo: Wow!
E.D: Make no mistake about it; the Dark Horse is in great shape but this Ross just appears to be too strong!
[Not releasing the hold, the challenger powers back up to his feet, and tossing Sloan over his head, unloads with a killer back arch suplex. Skidding across the ring, Mike Sloan is unable to stop his momentum and before he knows it, this one's quickly getting out of control.]
Promo: Mike Sloan is being taken to the cleaners!
E.D: It's like watching Pro's Vs. Joe and the Joe is winning!
Promo: More like Jason meets Freddy!
Referee: [Looking in] Sloan are you OK to continue?
Mike Sloan: [Nodding.] Get off me!
[Seeing the referee signal for the contest to continue, Mike pushes the man in stripes out of the way, and charging across the ring, delivers a running drop kick to the challenger's head. Covering up in pain, Ross topples over unable to mount an offensive attack.]
Referee: Ok, he's in the ropes, let him out! 1... 2...
Promo: Sloan appears to be settling down and luckily for him, I thought he was going to give up.
E.D: Problem with Sloan seems to be motivation. It's almost like he's allowing himself to get beaten up as part of some odd self inflicted punishment.
Referee: 3!
Promo: The opening of this match is absolutely unbelievable, and definitely something I would have never predicted.
Referee: 4!
[With his face still tender from the eye rake just moments ago, Sloan gets to his feet telling the referee not to stop the match on a 5 count. Still in “kill” mode, Ross lunges forward with a wild fist but Sloan ducks. Still hurting and fighting through the pain, Sloan slaps on a sleeper but is quick to convert it to a cobra clutch. Pulling back and forth with the move, Ross collapses at his side motionless from the instant lack of blood flow.]
E.D: Ross’ out!
Promo: Sloan is making the cover!
Referee: 1... 2...
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: NO! TWO!
Mike Sloan: WHAT?! [Shaking his head.] Raise my hand and declare me the champion!
Referee: TWO! Only TWO! Continue wrestling!
Promo: Ross from the canvas with a low blow and Sloan just made one of the biggest mistakes of his career. I understand the man is a technical wrestler, but for god’s sake, he’s got to forget about where he came from if he wants to win.
[With Sloan holding his goodie basket and Ross now back up to his feet, it’s the challenger who now connects with a face buster suplex onto the ropes; bouncing off the top ala Tully Blanchard. Writhing around the mat with his arms around his stomach, Mike Sloan screams for the medical team.]
Referee: [Looking at Sloan.] Continue the match!
E.D: I love it! I think Sloan is faking his injury!
Promo: The referee just told Ross to continue and I agree, something just doesn’t seem right here.
E.D: I don’t think we are even close to finished.
Promo: Over the last year, Ross has become is such a mat tactician! Look the challenger continue to work on the back of Mike Sloan but this time with The Rings of Saturn!
E.D: This move is serving a duel purpose. One, it’s wearing Mike down. Two, it’s working on his back. And three, it’s trying to break his will.
Promo: Sloan is shaking his head, he can’t take anymore!
E.D: I don’t hear him saying HE QUITS!
[Inside the mind of Mike Sloan, a plan hatches and then his body goes limp. Feeling the lack of resistance, Ross releases the hold and signals to the crowd that it’s all over!]
Chris Ross: I DID IT!!!!
Crowd: [Cheering]
[Dragging Mike to the edge of the ring and bending over, Sloan surprises the champion with a small package. The move is so close to the ropes!]
Referee: 1... 2...
Crowd: THREE!!!! [BOO!]
E.D: MIKE SLOAN IS STILL THE CHAMPION! ROSS IS DONE!
Referee: [Looking at the foot on the ropes.] TWO! Feet in the ropes!
Crowd: [Stomping.]
[With Sloan still out of it, Ross locks in a single crab. Rocking back and applying perfect pressure, Mike’s spine practically pops.]
Chris Ross: [Gritting his teeth.] Give up!
Mike Sloan: Fuck-YOU!
Ross: Well if you won’t give up, I’ll just have to KILL you.
Promo: Ross releases the hold and getting to his feet, takes Mike down another notch with a Manhattan Drop.
[Splitting the screen, you see Mr. Batee in the back furious that his office area has been destroyed.]
Mr. Batee: [Talking to one of the referee’s.] Get in there and make sure Chris Ross starts to pay for what he is doing to my family. He has destroyed my office for the last time!
Referee: Yes sir!
Mr. Batee: I want Chris Ross to pay! Do you hear me?!
Referee: I do sir but how do I get into the ring with the other referee still in there?
Mr. Batee: [Picking up his cell phone.] Greg, when Davey gets out the ring, tell him I need a favor...
Greg: You got it. But Mr. Batee…
Mr. Batee: [In pain as another stitch is added to head.] JUST DO IT!
Greg: But…
[Hanging up the phone, we merge back into one view as Ross sets up Sloan for a classic spine buster. Countering in mid-air, Sloan pulls of a Theisz and Ross is getting the snot knocked out of him. Reaching into his tights, Chris blasts Mike in the face with some concealed Jamaican Jerk Powder and collapsing to his side, the champion starts to writhe from the sting.]
Promo: The challenger brings the champion to his feet and spinning in a 360 Chris Ross knocks the tits off Mike Sloan with a roaring elbow!
E.D: Why is a back up referee entering the ring!
[The new referee enters quickly as the old one exits and the crowd is completely confused. Coughing and gagging, in the ring, both wrestlers are confused as to what is actually going on.]
Promo: This can't be good for Chris Ross.
E.D: Indeed.
Promo: The referee is completely confused and so are the fans. What are we just going to have Chris and Mike kill each other all night long until someone can continue?
E.D: These two men are still battling it out in the ring but without the original referee. Lifting Ross up by the hair Sloan sends the challenger into the ropes with a hard Irish whip. Off the ropes and ducking Mike’s slow clothesline, Ross bounces off the second and returns with a thrust forearm! Rapping Mike Sloan in the mouth, Chris quickly locks up a triangle submission hold.
Chris Ross: Ask him referee!
Referee: [Confused.] I don’t know!
Mike Sloan: NOOOO!
Referee: [Throwing his hands in the air.] Continue to the match!
[Now releasing the hold, Chris goes to dump the champion on his head with a textbook German suplex but Mike counters with a leg hook. Quick heel to the balls stuns Ross and turning to face the gasping challenger, Mike delivers his finisher from out of no where!
Promo: Ross is out!
E.D: THREE!!!
[Signaling no, and turning back to a fallen challenger, the champion drags Ross to the top rope looking to do something extreme. On the top and with the fans screaming for carnage, Ross awakens, and the two begin to slug it out. The champion has hit his finisher, but the challenger is still standing. Only something spectacular can end this match! Crushing blow to jaw and Sloan continues to have the upper hand. Tired and without a fifth wind, Mike positions Ross for a massive 300 pound top rope power bomb.]
Promo: No way!
E.D: This isn’t going to end pretty.
Promo: TIMBERRRRRRR!
[Just as Sloan is about to power bomb Ross, the replacement referee hooks Ross' leg! Falling ackwardly through the Spanish announcer’s table, the crowd goes fucking nuts as Mike Sloan and Chris Ross pull off one of the most extreme stunts of the night!]
Crowd: Holy fucking shit! Holy fucking shit! Holy fucking shit!
Promo: I’m not allowed to curse but holy fucking shit is right!
E.D: Are they alive?
Promo: Under normal circumstances I would say you’re a moron Eric but right now I’m not too sure either.
[As the medical team rushes to ringside, we hear the dreaded code, “Red” sounded. Suddenly we see Mr. Batee appear in the ring and the crowd starts to boo. Leaning over the ropes, we hear a confidential conversation.]
Medic: [Whispering.] Ross tweaked his shoulder. He’s done Batee.
Mr. Batee: ROSS!!!!
Medic: [Seems confused as to what happened.]
Mr. Batee: Alright, let me spin doctor this. Thank you John.
Medic: [Motioning to the back.] Bring down the stretchers!
Crowd: Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!
Mr. Batee: Hold up people! Just hold on one damn second. It seems we aren’t going to have a winner here.
Crowd: BOO!
Mr. Batee: Look, I would love nothing more than to bring both these men back into this ring, and have them go at it until we get a winner, but the medic just informed me that Chris Ross cannot continue.
Crowd: Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
Mr. Batee: I agree! Fuck you Chris Ross.
Crowd: [BOO!]
Chris Ross: [Refusing tips over the stretcher.] What the fuck is he doing? I'm fine! What kind of crap is this?
[Sliding into the ring and over to Mr. Batee, Ross takes the microphone.]
Chris Ross: Sloan, if you want to finish this thing off, let’s do NOW!
Mike Sloan: [Nods his head in approval.]
Mr. Batee: [Separating both men.] Hold on their guys, I said this one’s over!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Mr. Batee: Boo me, I don’t care! The official decision is that Mike Sloan has been declared the winner because Chris Ross cannot continue!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Mr. Batee: Mike Sloan, because you won this match, at Grinder, you will be rewarded with a chance to become NAWA World Heavyweight champion!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Mr. Batee: At this show, you will compete against two other individuals of my choosing, and should you win that Three Way Dance, you will be BACW representative at "The BIG3!"
Chris Ross: [Reaching for Batee through the arms of his security] Son of a bitch!
Mr. Batee: That's it guys keep him back! As for you Mr. Ross, I'm not even close to messing with you. Tonight is just the beginning! A small taste of what 2008 is going to be like for you inside a BACW ring. I'm going to dry hump your mind SO bad son that you're going to have the worse case of camel toe in the history of mankind! And before your hell begins, you have Jeff Harris at Grinder for your New State championship, and Chris, you're going to have one hand tied behind your back!
[Slamming the microphone into the center of the ring and warning both men not to continue, Mr. Batee exits to a round of boos.]
Promo: Well I guess that’s all she wrote for this one?
E.D: Chris Ross is seething right now and I know Mike Sloan isn't 100% happy but because he played his cards right, it looks like Mike Sloan is going to get a chance to win NAWA's World title against two people of Mr. Batee's choosing!
[Fading from the shot, we see the referee in the back talking to one another.]
Referee #1: He told me not to let Ross win.
Referee: #2: Ever?
Referee: He was pretty clear.
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