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[Part 19]: MAIN EVENT- (BACW Heavyweight
Championship)
The Spectre (c)
Vs.
Particle Man
Promo: [In an unusually heavy tone] Well this is the part of the show where we usually do a rundown of what has taken place but after the events that have occurred over the past two hours, I have something on my mind. That something is this mysterious Project X! This is a band of glorified thugs that have set out to terrorize the BACW for some unknown reason carrying some unknown vendetta. Now, I want to make something clear, BACW isn't afraid of competition and we're certainly no stranger to vendettas being levied against us but these heinous actions have taken this way beyond the realm of wrestling. These cowardly attacks have changed the lives of several of BACW's finest, sending them to hospitals and although it wasn't stated as the reason for his leaving, I truly believe the injuries sustained by Sam Natas do the brutalization at the hands of this group of cowards is the reason he isn't with us here at this show.
[Prominski let's out a deep heavy breath from his lungs, trying to spill the anger from his heart as he remains professional.]
Promo: Security has been maximized to unprecedented levels for this show in an effort to keep these men or women or whatever the hell they are, these monsters out of this facility here tonight. So far our efforts have been fruitless as they have reported to be inside the building at this very moment. It's not unusual for the wrestlers of Pro Wrestling's Stomp Hall to be on edge at this time of year with the Grinder coming up but it's different, they're all looking over their shoulders, watching their backs and fearing that a mole might be in their midst all the while knowing that they could very well be the next victims of this faceless organization.
[Promo looks down at the papers on his desk.]
Promo: With that out of the way, E.D. let's talk about…
[Before his phrase can be turned, his words released from the clutches of his mouth the lights snap out, causing him to cut himself off as the crowd gasps.]
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: Not this again! Who the hell are they going to attack this time? Michael Stuffher?
E.D: I feel like the little pig that went to the market. Come on man, I already go beaten up once today!
Promo: Eric, you're in my personal space and that space contains my personal business!!!!
[The video screen lights up again, just like before, X's fill the screen rapidly moving and shape shifting, they multiply and divide and flash furiously. Then as has become the norm the X's fade and in their place words flash boldly across the screen.]
"DREAMS"
"LIES"
"FRAUD"
"COWARDS"
"FALLING MAN"
"FALSE IDOLS"
"BROKEN DREAMS"
"DON'T BELIEVE YOUR EYES"
"MONEY IS THE ROOT OF EVIL"
"DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR EARS"
"YOUR DREAM IS A LIE""
"FALLEN MAN"
"HOPE IS HOPELESS"
"TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE"
"LIES"
"DREAMS"
"DEATH OF POWER"
"RISE OF TRUTH"
"TRUTH IS COMING"
"TRUTH IS SOON"
"FALL OF MAN"
"THE PROJECT HAS BEGUN"
"TRUTH LIES BEFORE YOU"
"YOUR DREAM IS A LIE"
"THE TRUTH DOES NOT"
"LISTEN TO THE TRUTH, IGNORE THE LIES"
"DEATH TO BACW"
"HOPE IS LOST"
"FOLLOW THE X"
"ILLUSSIONS"
"APPARITIONS"
"PHONY"
"PROJECT X"
"YOUR DREAM IS A LIE"
[The screen fills with static snow as does the sound system and then it cuts back in as a video begins to play. A pulsating heart beat like thud is heard as the screen cuts in and out, going from black to video we see the lowering of a blood Sam Natas slowed down to an almost frame by frame view of the gruesome scene. Each and every droplet of blood can be seen falling from his unconscious body. Bound, gagged and hung from his heels from the ceiling, the blood rushing to and out of his head as horrified fans look on. We see fans crying and cringing, turning away and standing in utter shock and disbelief.]
"The Heartbeat of BACW"
[Natas is loaded onto a stretcher and carried out of the arena to the sounds of slowed down outcries of fans and employees alike.]
"Beats NO MORE"
[The image distorts too the point that the face of the victimized BACW Icon is not able to be made out, as the picture snaps back into focus it has changed to a new image, the image of the carnage from last month as Ulfric and Spectre hang on barbed wire, gushing blood and shaking violently from the electricity that is being pumped through their bodies.]
"The Face of BACW"
[A loud, elongated, ghastly scream is heard as the camera pulls in on the face of Spectre. The screen rapidly switches between the Spectre and the title belt as the heartbeat speeds up and then we hear the screeching sound of a flat line as a brilliant neon green line shoots across a black screen.]
"Has Been SMASHED"
"JOIN US"
"OR"
"FEAR US"
"X is the ANSWER"
"X is the SOLUTION"
"What is X?"
"The UNKNOWN"
"The END"
"The BEGINNING"
"BLOOD WILL SPILL"
[A bubbling, crimson fluid leaks onto the screen; dripping from the top it wipes the darkness from the video wall.]
Promo: What does all that mean?
E.D: X is the Answer to what?
[The "blood" wipes from the screen to reveal more words.]
"Where blood will rain is where we'll be, the X is where our faces will be seen. Out of the darkness and into the light. The Organ man's music will play a sweet melody as we give you what you've asked for. Be careful what you wish for. Be careful who you threaten.
Project X is almost complete, the revolution begins…"
Crack the code and be prepared:
asdfghjklqwertyuiezxcvbnmeqazwsxedrtgiplkmoijhityhgbeaaslkkghlewsp
ijnbhuygiwsxedcrfsmnbvcxkjcqazxcvbnooikedosimejdkfjghilkjhgfdsnqwertyuigwas
oskeifkeAlalsldalsdlaladkalsduigepvnmodiwnvmspodfjsdkfijnhutyeshsmwekghnfbvjdm
bnooikedosimejdkfjghilkjhgfdsnqwertyuigwasbnooikedosimejdkfjghilkjhgfdsnqwertyuig
uygiwsxedcrfsmnbvcxkjcqazxcvbuygiwsxedcrfsmnbvcxkjcqazxcvbuygiwsxedcrfsmnbvc
"yourdreamisalie.blogspot.com"
[The lights come back up and not a soul has been touched but Promo is sitting in Eric Danger's lap holding him like there is no tomorrow.]
E.D: Well this is pretty embarrassing.
Promo: [Getting off Eric's lap] I'm sorry... I...
E.D: Those weren't pillow Paul were they?
Promo: I suppose not. Folks, let's go to the ring.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
[As the bell rings and the crowd settles into their seats for our main event, "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns-n-Roses hits and out walks Mr. Batee to chorus of boos.]
Promo: Batee is coming down to the ring and he’s surrounded by three security guards. What is he doing down here?
E. D.: Well, last month you said the winner of the Ulfric and Spectre match would be going into Grinder as champion and I don’t think you were wrong. Maybe Mr. Batee is just out here to call the title match off for tonight. Who can blame him? He would be tied up in court for months after Spectre kills that puny link pun—
[CRACK!]
Promo: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! What the hell? Oh my God! E.D are you okay?!!!!
[Former BACW tag team wrestler, Smash Mosh has come from the crowd and bent a steel folding chair over the head of E.D. Promo stumbles to the ring side area nearly knocked out trying to regain his composure. Smash yells at him to stay down. The blue haired Slash grabs a head set after putting down four bottles of Jack Daniels with accompanying shot glasses. Meanwhile Mr. Batee is now the ring with a microphone smiling.]
Slash: Did I hear Promo say punk? Mr. Erectile Dysfunction over there doesn’t get to do color tonight. Executive decision, ya know?
Mr. Batee: Last month that idiot Spectre had the audacity to lose the BACW title to the mysterious group known as Project X. Now he may be the champion on paper, but that belt belongs to me! So, what is going to happen tonight is this. The Detroit Gutter Punks and I are going to throw Spectre a party in his honor in the form of a match against Particle Man. This isn’t just a title defense Spectre. This is a punishment! And like I did to Chris Ross earlier, I will do to Spectre now! Let this be a message to each and every one of your sons-o-bitches on this roster. If you mess with Batee, I'll give ya the horns!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Mr. Batee goes to the ringside area to sit next to Smash Mosh who has taken a seat. Michael Stuffher starts the introduction of Particle Man, but Slash Mosh talks over Stuffher the whole time.]
Slash: Everyone has seen this fuckin’ entrance before. He’s short and doesn’t weigh much. He’s from The City, USA. There’s gold fog and laser lights. You get the fuckin’ point by now unless you were born with two too many chromosomes. So, let me take the opportunity to explain to Promo and the fans at home what the fuck is going on tonight. We’re going to get shit faced during this match playing a little game called “two counts.” I suggest all the cool people at home try to play along. Basically the rules are this. Every time someone scores a two count you take a shot of Jack Daniels. If someone taps out then you take not one, but two shots of Jack.
Promo: I’m not going to do that. I don't even drink!
Slash: Did I knock out the wrong person?
Promo: I'll drink!
Slash: Relax man! Just have fun with it. I will give you $50 after the show and Smash won’t break your legs if you just play along.
Promo: Well, if you put it that …
Stuffher: … He is challenging tonight for the BACW Championship; he is The Particle Man…
Crowd: PM! PM! PM!
Stuffher: And now the champion...
["Memphisto" by Depeche Mode blares and the lights go out as an eerie purple glow and an ominous fog fill the arena. The Spectre steps out from the curtain and stomps toward the ringside area. He is wearing his traditional purple U-neck tank top with the words "TOTAL DEVESTATION" written in neon green on the front, and the words "2008-YEAR OF THE SPECTRE" on the back. He wears black elbow pads and purple fingerless gloves. In his left hand is the infamous ring wrench.]
Spectre: HEE HEH HEE HEH HEH...
[His black pants are held up by a thicker heavier chain, and his boots even seem to have steel tips on them.]
Stuffher: Coming down the aisle, he is the current BACW Heavyweight Champion. Weighing in at a freakish 299 pounds, and standing at a towering 6 foot 8 inches tall, this is, The Purple Haired Freak, The SPECTRE!!!!
Slash: Alright, ring the god damn bell already.
Mr. Batee: Mr. Slash, may a good ole southern man quite possibly have a nip or two during this game ya'll are having?
Slash: The more the merrier!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Promo: While Slash and Batee get their drink on, the referee has called for the bell. Who will go to Grinder as BACW's Heavyweight champion? Only time will tell and here we GO! Particle Man extends his hand for the handshake. I don’t think that’s such a good idea Particle Man. Spectre looks at the crowd with a disgusted and puzzled look on his face. He then looks at ½ of the of former BACW tag champions in Universe Man. Spectre extends his hand to Particle Man, but then goes for the kick to the gut.
Slash: Particle Man uses that speed of his to catch Spectre's foot. He pushes the foot down with authority, spins around, and slaps Spectre right in his bag of marble.
Promo: That looked like a tornado palm strike more than a slap, but either way Spectre just got hit right where it counts and he is infuriated.
[Spectre goes to grab the little hero, but he slips under the champions legs. Particle Man is behind the champ and…]
Slash: Another slap and this time right to Spectre’s ear.
Promo: That could throw Spectre’s equilibrium off, but one has to question the strategy of the Particle Man at this point in the match up as he seems to just be angering the champ rather than doing any real damage.
Slash: Particle Man knows exactly what he’s doing. You don’t worry about his strategy Promo.
[Spectre is stalking Particle Man using his impressive frame to intimidate the tiny man into the corner. Spectre goes for a shoulder thrust into Particle Man’s midsection, but the challenger dodges by quickly lying across the top ropes. Being the ring general that he is Spectre has enough presence of mind to avoid hitting his shoulder against the ring post. Particle Man rolls from the top ropes off of the back of the champion. The crouched down Particle Man elbows the bent over Spectre right in the ass crack. The irritated Spectre turns around rubbing his rear end ready to give chase to The Particle Man.]
Slash: I taught him that move. I call it the elephant sodomy.
Promo: That’s quite disgusting.
Slash: Thank you.
[In the center of the ring Spectre is tag Particle Man in his head. Left hook, right hook, left hook from the infuriated champ. All three blows ducked by Particle Man. Particle Man forearms Spectre in the face, but the champ does not move an inch. Spectre goes for the three punch combo yet again and has an equal amount of success. Particle Man puts all his might into one forearm. The champion staggers back about three inches and is temporarily stunned. Particle Man connects with a drop kick to the chest of Spectre. Spectre still on his feet staggers back half a foot and is still a bit dazed. Particle Man runs off the ropes for more momentum and hits Spectre with a flying forearm strike that puts Spectre on the ropes. Particle Man goes to whip the champion.]
Promo: What does he think he’s doing? Not in a million years would the Particle Man ever be able to Irish whip Spectre.
Slash: Watch and wait, fuck-tard.
[Spectre reverses the whip with ease and sends Particle Man to the ropes to set up for a big boot. His plans are immediately put to rest.]
Promo: Oh my God! Instead of hitting the ropes Particle Man simply flew to the outside with a suicide dive.
Slash: That’s okay Promo. It looks like your impotent broadcast partner broke his fall.
E.D: Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!
Promo: Poor, E.D. first he gets a chair shot and now Particle Man uses him as an air mattress to break his fall. The ref starts the count to the outside.
[Particle Man does a Superman pose on the outside and looks right in the face of the livid champion. Spectre steps to the outside and gives chase to the challenger. Spectre’s speed is no match for that of the challengers and his efforts are stopped when he runs into the brick wall of a man known as Universe Man. Spectre berates the big man and punches in the ring as Particle Man rolls back into the ring.]
Slash: That’s our cue Smash, let’s go!
Promo: Slash, get back here. Am I going to have to call the rest of this match alone?
Slash: Maybe.
v
[Slash drops his headset and runs past Spectre. He slaps him in the back of his head as he runs past. As Spectre focuses on Slash, Smash goes to slap Spectre in the back of the head. Spectre expecting turns around and blocks the slap.]
Spectre: Who are you guys and what the hell are you doing!?
[Spectre gets ready to attack Smash Mosh, but the green haired punk pulls out a switch blade.]
Smash: You’re messing with the wrong one, boy!
Mr. Batee: [Tipping his shot glass up] Be careful boy, he's not insured. [Wincing] Dang that's good stuff!
[Spectre does not back down one bit, but before a melee can ensue between Smash and Spectre, the challenger cuts them off as Slash returns to his post to put his headset on.]
Slash: Top rope moonsault to the outside puts the champ on his ass.
Crowd: [OH!]
Promo: The ref restarts the count to the outside. While Spectre is down he is not out. Spectre has a hold of the little man and stands up. I don’t think the moonsault really hurt him as much as it pushed him down. It looks like he is going to throw the vigilante into the ring post like a lawn dart.
Slash: Particle Man breaks free from the purple gelatinous mold and pushes Spectre head first into the steel.
[CLANG!]
Crowd: [OOO!]
Promo: Spectre checks his forehead for blood and fortunately for him the Particle Man is not that strong or he would have been busted wide open.
Crowd: PM! PM! PM!
[Spectre turns around and gets caught in the jaw with a vicious Savate kick. Particle Man jumps up onto the apron.]
Referee: … 8… 9
Promo: Hearing the referee reach the 9 count woke Spectre right up and he slides into the ring. Particle Man was waiting for him though and catches Spectre with a springboard leg drop right across the back of the neck as soon as the champion enters the ring.
Slash: Spectre is down on all fours! Someone give me a camera phone. Particle Man runs off the ropes. Two solid boots connect with Spectre’s jaw and the champ is horizontal like a crack whore giving out blue light specials.
[Particle Man leaps onto the top rope. Spectre gets up. Particle Man comes sailing off the top rope looking to connect with a flying Thai knee strike.]
Promo: In Spectre’s first true offensive move of the match he gets a leg up and boots the challenger right in the face in mid-air. He goes for the cover.
Referee: 1… 2… 3! Ring the bell, this one's over!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Mr. Batee: Oh no-no-no-no-no! Hold my glass Slash!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[The crowd boos fervently and the bell ring. Mr. Batee grabs the microphone.]
Mr. Batee: Everyone settle down! You didn’t really think I was going to let Spectre off the hook that easily for losing MY belt did you. I guess I forgot to mention at the beginning of this match that it is being contested under 2 out of 3 falls rules.
Spectre: WHAT!!!!!
Crowd: Thank you Batee! *CLAP! CLAP! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP!* Thank you Batee! *CLAP! CLAP! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP!*
Slash: Alright! Ring the damn bell and get over here Batee so I can pour you another drink!
Referee: Alright, ring the bell!
[The bell rings and the champion picks up the challenger. The “Purple Haired Freak” nails Particle Man in the back of the head with nothing but malice in mind. The champion goes for the cover.]
Referee: 1… 2…--
Crowd: THREE!!!
Slash: What the...
Spectre: [Yanking Particle Man off the canvas by his mask] You think he’s getting off that easily? Hehehehehe! In your dreams!
Crowd: [Booooooo!]
Slash: That bastard is going to kill him. We gotta do something about this shit.
Promo: Calm down Slash. He’s still in the match.
Mr. Batee: And we have more liquor to drink baby.
Slash: You’re right. That was a two count by the way. Everyone take a drink.
Mr. Batee: Gladly.
[As Promo, the Detroit Gutter Punks, and Mr. Batee take their first drink Spectre picks up the nearly conscious hero again. He bends the challenger over for his version of the Widow’s Peak.]
Promo: It looks like Sweet Dreams for The Particle Man.
Slash: Reversal!
[Particle Man tucks his heels into the champions under arms and with all his might rolls through with a pin.]
Referee: 1… 2…
Crowd: [THREE!!!]
Promo: No! Kick out!
Slash: Drink!
Mr. Batee: I love this game!
[Particle Man lets out a primal yell while Spectre is getting to his feet.]
Particle Man: C’mon Citizens!
Crowd: [Stomps their feet in unison.]
Slash: Oh my sweet Moses! Listen to this crowd get behind Particle Man.
Crowd: [PM! PM! PM!]
[Spectre is to his feet and Particle Man charges. Spectre goes to get his boot up to destroy Particle Man again, but the tiny hero simply leaps onto his knee and up to a hurricanrana.]
Slash: What the hell do you call that one?
Promo: Let’s go with Shining Rana… and into a pin. 1… 2…
Crowd: [THREE!!!]
Referee: TWO!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Slash: Drink!
[Particle Man roundhouse kicks Spectre in his face while he is still down. Particle Man sits atop the back of Spectre.]
Slash: He’s not going for a camel clutch is he.
Promo: Particle Man puts both of Spectre’s arms on his little legs. Particle Man rolls to the side landing on his knees and Spectre rolls with him. The shoulders are on the mat and trapped under the challengers legs. 1… 2…
Crowd: [THREE!!!]
Referee: TWO!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Slash: Drink!
[Spectre attempts to get up before the speedy hero, but is only on all fours by the time Particle Man is up. Particle Man lies of Spectre’s back facing the “Purple Haired Freak’s” heels.]
Slash: What do you call that one? A 96?
[Particle Man tucks his legs under the champion’s shoulders and waist locks Spectre. Particle Man rolls to the side for the pin.]
Referee: 1… 2…
Crowd: [THREE!!!]
Referee: TWO!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Slash: Damn! Particle Man can’t keep this fatty boy down. Drink!
[Spectre is on his stomach again. Particle Man barely applies a double chicken wing hold, but with lightning speed. From this position he rolls him over for the pin.]
Slash: 1…2… Drink!
Promo: But the referee didn't even get to count?
Slash: Drink twice!
Mr. Batee: I think I'm getting a bit tipsy.
[Spectre is up and Particle Man positions himself behind the champion. Particle Man goes for what looks like a side Russian leg sweep. Spectre resists by pushing his body weight forward and the challenger uses the champions own momentum to roll him forward for a pin.]
Referre: 1… 2…
Crowd: [THREE!!!]
Referee: TWO!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Slash: Drink!
Promo: I think I’m going to get sick.
Slash: Oklahoma roll! 1… 2...
Crowd: [THREE!!!]
Referee: TWO!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Slash: Drink!
Promo: Oh god! I never thought I would be begging for Particle Man to stop going for pins.
[Spectre is getting winded from the constant kicking out. Particle Man goes to the top rope as Spectre gets to his feet. Particle Man leaps off the top and lands atop of the champions shoulders.]
Slash: Piggy back ride into the pin.
Promo: That’s called a victory roll. 1… 2… oh God, don’t even say it Slash. I already know.
Crowd: [THREE!!!]
Referee: TWO!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Mr. Batee: [Who now has his arm around Slash] DRINK!
[Spectre sits down after kicking out again and swears something under his breath. Not paying attention to his challenger he gets both his arms locked by the tiny man. Particle Man rolls Spectre up in a crucifix pin from a sitting position. Particle Man gets yet another two count. The men drink at ringside.]
Promo: Oh God! Now I know I’m going to be sick.
Slash: Smash, get this light weight bitch the fuck away from us. I think he’s going to blow chunks.
Smash: What do you want me to do with the fairy?
Slash: I don’t know. Throw him in the fucking ring for all I care. Just get him the hell out of here.
Promo: No! No! NO!
[Smash picks up Promo by the pants and tosses him into the ring. Promo stands up and immediately the ref starts admonishing him to get out. The champion goes over to Promo and lightly shoves him.]
Referee: Get out of the ring Promo! What the hell do you think you're doing?
Promo: [Staggering] Who's Promo? [Slurring his words] My name is Pauuuul.
Spectre: Promo, so help me God I’ll put you in the hospital.
[Spectre lightly shoves Promo again. Promo’s body can’t take it anymore and he projectile vomits into the face of the champion. Spectre is pissed off, disgusted, and blind all at the same time. Particle Man sees the champion wiping his face with his hands and takes advantage.]
Slash: School boy cradle!
Crowd: 1… 2… 3! **POP**
Mr. Batee: HUH?
Slash: Particle Man has done it. He has pinned the champion!
[With his hands held outward and looking at the referee in disbelief, Spectre finally realizes that he has indeed lost his title.]
Spectre: [Pounding the canvas] God dammit! This is bullshit!
Referee: Ring the bell! This one's over!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Spectre: Don’t ring the bell yet. I’m not ready. Someone get me a towel.
[One of the ring crew tosses Spectre at towel so he can wipe his face off. When Spectre has composed himself he throws the towel aside and nails celebrating The Particle Man with a sucker punch.]
Spectre: Now you can ring the bell!
[Promo makes his way back to the broadcast booth and puts on his headset.]
Slash: Mr. Batee apparently isn't done drinking so he just asked the referee to restart the match again, and he has also informed me you can either do play-by-play or play the drinking game, but not both.
Promo: I can't see, but I’ll do commentary.
Slash: Pussy.
[Spectre picks Particle Man off the mat after a clubbing forearm to the back of the neck. He whips the challenger off of the ropes and picks him up on the rebound executing a sidewalk slam. Particle Man is in the center of the ring lying flat on his back. Spectre bounces off the ropes and leaps atop Particle Man with a big splash.]
Promo: Cover… 1… 2… Kick out! How did Particle Man do it? Spectre has over 200 pounds on him.
Slash: He’s a tough little bastard is how.
[Spectre whips Particle Man into a corner. The champion starts methodically landing lefts and rights to the mid-section of Particle Man.]
Slash: Get him out of the corner ref!
Referee: 1… 2… 3… 4…
Promo: Spectre stops the onslaught before the count of five as not to be disqualified.
Slash: I think the champ has been embarrassed enough tonight. He doesn’t want to retain his title that way. Anyone else he might settle for, but with the shit everyone talks about Particle Man not being anything to sweat the Grimace needs to win by pin or submission or he’ll be the laughing stock of the entire locker room even if he does retain his title.
[While Slash was talking Spectre had walked over to the opposite corner that Particle Man is slumped down in. The purple haired freak comes charging full steam ahead and performs a rib breaking avalanche to Particle Man. The hero stumbles out of the corner and before he can flop to the mat Spectre grabs a front headlock.]
Promo: DDT! This one has to be over. Spectre hooks the near leg and makes the cover.
Crowd: 1… 2… 3!
Slash: No! The refs hand came down for the three, but he saw Particle Man got his foot on the rope before the count was made. Particle Man will not die.
[Spectre pulls Particle Man to his feet and drags him to the center of the ring. He scoops him up and drops the challenger head first with a tombstone pile driver. Spectre picks up Particle Man again and spikes him into the mat with a traditional pile driver. Spectre holds Particle Man upside down for a delayed vertical suplex.]
Slash: All the blood is rushing to his crazy little brain.
Crowd: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25…
[Spectre finally comes crashing down with the vertical suplex. Spectre picks his opponent up once more and drives the little hero into the mat neck first with a dangerous looking power bomb. The crowd begins to roar with disapproval.]
Crowd: One more time! One more time! One more time!
Spectre: Don’t worry! He's finished!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: Guillotine right in the center of the ring! This one has to be over.
[The champion holds the challenger in the hold for nearly thirty seconds. Particle Man does not appear to moving.]
Promo: I think he may be knocked out. The referee is checking to see if he is still awake. If Particle Man’s hand drops three times this one is over.
Slash: Up once, and down once. C’mon Particle Man. Wake the fuck up!
[The crowd cheers Particle Man’s name trying to revive him, but it is apparently useless as Particle Man’s hand is lifted and drops for a second time. The referee lifts Particle Man’s hand a third time…]
Slash: … WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! The lights just went out!
Promo: Look! Up on the oval-tron! It’s some kind of cryptic message from… Project X!
Project X is almost complete, the revolution begins…"
Crack the code and be prepared:
Asdfghjklqwertyuiezxcvbnmeqazwsxedrtgiplkmoijhityhgbeaaslkkghlewsp
Ijnbhuygiwsxedcrfsmnbvcxkjcqazxcvbnooikedosimejdkfjghilkjhgfdsnqwertyuigwas
oskeifkeAlalsldalsdlaladkalsduigepvnmodiwnvmspodfjsdkfijnhutyeshsmwekghnfbvjdm
bnooikedosimejdkfjghilkjhgfdsnqwertyuigwasbnooikedosimejdkfjghilkjhgfdsnqwertyuig
uygiwsxedcrfsmnbvcxkjcqazxcvbuygiwsxedcrfsmnbvcxkjcqazxcvbuygiwsxedcrfsmnbvc
"yourdreamisalie.blogspot.com"
[CRACK!]
Slash: Oh, I recognize that fucking sound. Someone just got hit with a god damn chair.
Promo: Yes, but the question is who hit whom.
Slash: Batee?
[The lights go up and both Particle Man and the referee lie unconscious in the ring. There are two men left standing in the ring. One is the champion Spectre. The other man is Chris Ross and he has a folding chair that he has bent over the referee’s head.]
Slash: What the hell is going on? Is Chris Ross the leader of Project X?
Promo: I don’t know, but he has thrown down the chair and he’s motioning with his hands for Spectre to bring it on. Spectre charges in a blind rage.
Slash: Jumping Jesus on a mother fucking pogo stick! WIPE OUT ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR!
Chris Ross: AND DON'T YOUR FORGET IT!
Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!
Promo: Oh my God! I don’t think Spectre was supposed to land on the back of his neck that way. Someone get some medics down here immediately.
Slash: Not until the match is over fuck-o.
Mr. Batee: It's like world war 3 in there!
[Chris Ross picks up Particle Man and puts him on top of Spectre. The mad man from the islands wakes the ref off, flips off Mr. Batee and then exits to the entrance way side of the ring. The referee slowly wakes up and sees Particle Man on top of Spectre.]
Mr. Batee: [Pointing to Ross] HEY!!!
Crowd: 1…
Referee: 1…
Crowd: 2…
Referee: …3!
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Referee: Ring the bell!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Mr. Batee: Is that bottle empty?
Slash: [In shock] Holy shit it is!
Mr. Batee: Then this match is over!
Slash: I’ve done it! I’ve managed three men to a BACW championship! I fucking rule all.
[Particle Man wakes up after perhaps the hugest pop in BACW history. The referee is raising his hand. Particle Man looks around and sees the steel folding chair. He looks behind him to see Chris Ross. He slides outside of the ring, and starts questioning Universe Man as Michael Stuffher takes the microphone.]
Stuffher: Your winner of the third fall and NEW BACW World Cha—
[Particle Man grabs the microphone.]
Particle Man: No! Not like this. I don’t remember doing anything to Spectre to knock him out. Evil is afoot!
[Spectre wakes up in the ring has just been told he is no longer champion. He looks befuddled as Particle Man who is giving a “victory” speech.]
Particle Man: That is not a way a hero wins a battle. That is not the way a warrior becomes a champion. Spectre deserves a lot of things to happen to him, but this is not one of them. He is a fighting champion. He is better than this. I am better than this by golly. Ross! I don’t have anything against you, but you know how it feels to be a victim of injustice. Please stay out of this.
Slash: I do have a flask in my back pocket Batee...
Mr. Batee: The referee’s decision is final. You are the champion. Accept it!
Slash: Listen to the boss Particle Man. Go home, pop open a can of your favorite sody pop, turn on an episode of your favorite superhero cartoon, and celebrate your championship win.
Particle Man: No! I will not. If the referee will not restart the match up then there will be no champion. I don’t want it to be that way, but honor and integrity must prevail. Please, Batee, I’m begging you. Restart the match and for the first time in BACW’s history let the title stand for truth, justice, and the American way!
Mr. Batee: Is the flask full?
Slash: Is my real name Robert?
Mr. Batee: Fine! That’s what you want. I’m making an executive decision. It’s your funeral Particle Man! Ring the bell!
Crowd: [STUNNED!]
Referee: Restart it...
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Referee: Here we GO!
Slash: Jesus Christ! What the fuck is this little prick thinking? Everyone pray for a god damn miracle.
[Spectre comes sailing to the outside of the ring off of the apron with a clubbing forearm to the back of Particle Man’s neck. Spectre grabs the back of his neck as he is still feeling the effects of the Wipe Out on the steel chair. Spectre presses the blue and gold clad man above his head. Spectre tosses Particle Man over the top rope and back into the ring. Spectre stops for a second to rest and make sure his neck is okay. The Spectre slides back into the ring and as Particle Man simultaneously kips up the place starts to grow antsy.]
Promo: Before Spectre can push himself up Particle Man hits a corkscrew elbow drop on the back of the champion's neck. Another! Another! Another! Four in a row!
Slash: All these years and his speed still amazes me.
[Spectre is on one knee and Particle Man nails him in the back of the neck with three consecutive roundhouse kicks. Spectre fights through the pain and growls as he gives Particle Man a hard shove into the corner. Spectre sets Particle Man on the top rope. Spectre climbs to the second rope.]
Promo: Samoan drop from the second turnbuckle…
Slash: Reversed! Particle Man whips Spectre onto his neck with crucifix pin driver he calls the Particle Bomb. That would have put a normal man down, but it just seemed to light a fire under the champions ass. Spectre is on his feet.
Promo: Clothesline… missed, and countered with a lightning fast neck breaker from Particle Man. The champion isn’t human! He’s running on pure fury as he is on his feet again. He charges the challenger. Martial arts kick to midsection. The champion goes down.
Slash: That wasn’t any normal kick Promo. He got him right in the liver with the point of his boot. I don’t care who you are that’s going to put you down. Particle Man is down too. You have to believe he’s still suffering the effects of that beating he took just minutes ago from Spectre. That last fall was all the champions until Ross got involved.
Promo: The referee has already started the count after the double down. If he makes it to 10 this one is going to be a draw.
Referee: …7…8… *CLAP* Spectre up.
[Before the referee can continue the count Spectre picks up Particle Man for a vertical suplex. Particle Man floats over behind the champion. Particle Man nails Spectre in the kidney with a stiff knee shot. The champion is bent over and Particle Man clutches both of his wrists. Particle Man holds onto the wrists and stands on the champion’s back while he is still bent over.]
Promo: Wow! Look at that balancing act.
[Particle Man simultaneously releases Spectre’s wrists and leaps into the air to execute a leg drop on the back of the champion's neck.]
Promo: Cover!
Slash: Not even a one count as the challenger flies two feet into air when Spectre kicks out.
Promo: Spectre knees Particle Man in the gut and scoops him up.
Slash: Tree of Joey Lawrence!
Promo: What?
Slash: Whoa!
[Spectre goes to the opposite corner. He tries for the avalanche splash but fails when Particle Man sits up out of the tree of woe. Particle Man stands on the top turnbuckle as Spectre stumbles out of the corner.]
Promo: He’s going for the flying knee he missed earlier.
[Particle Man connects with the knee to Spectre’s face. He goes for the lateral press and hooks the far leg.]
Crowd: 1… 2… 3!
Referee: Two!
Crowd: [OOOW!]
[Particle Man quickly rebounds from the kick out and slides out to the apron. Spring board bulldog puts the champ down on his stomach. The Particle Man lands on the top turnbuckle with one giant leap. He sails off, does and 720 degree corkscrew, and lands on the back of Spectre’s neck with an elbow smash.]
Slash: Particle Grenade! Cover!
Crowd: 1… 2…
Referee: Ring the bell!
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Mr. Batee: Please tell the referee I need drain the main vein and that the show is over.
Slash: My pleasure. [Looking at the referee] If you restart the match, I'm kicking your ass!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Once again… your winner, and NEW BACW Heavyweight Champion - The Particle Man!
[“Particle Man” by They Might Be Giants blasts over the loudspeakers. The Detroit Gutter Punks tear down the guard rails and despite security’s best efforts dozens of fans flood the ring to celebrate. They lift the newly crowned champion over their heads. Spectre is looking down at his hands in disbelief. He keeps on mumbling and eventually works himself into a frenzy after about thirty seconds. Spectre goes to the outside and grabs a chair. He reenters the ring and starts attacking random fans. Half of the fans leave the ring. Particle Man is dropped and Spectre swings and misses Particle Man. A fan crashes a beer bottle over the back of Spectre’s head. Spectre goes after the man, but about seven other fans gang up on the former champion. The music stops. Security comes into the ring and tries to stop the riot to no avail. Chris Ross has also reentered the ring and tries to direct the fans to safety along with Particle Man. Chris Ross is slightly more aggressive in his efforts since he's just throwing them over the top rope by the hair.]
Mr. Batee: [Walking up the isle] I don’t know if this is going to be worth the ratings.
[Ulfric makes his way down to the ring and enters the melee. He throws several fans off of Spectre and gets punched in the mouth for his efforts. The two start brawling with each other and the fans cheer for Ulfric. Ross angered at Batee’s last comment drags the boss into the ring and starts unloading a bevy of punches on him. Security stops trying to calm down the riot and puts all their efforts on getting Ross away from a fleeing Batee.]
Promo: This is insanity.
[This time, with an assist from the Detroit Gutter Punks, they are successful and Batee makes his way to the back. He passes McClain along the way who his making his way to the ring to help his partner Ulfric. McClain grabs Mr. Batee and threatens to hit him in the face. The crowd remaining seated cheers in approval. Just behind McClain comes sneaking Mike Sloan with a garbage can.]
[CRASH!]
[The metal disposal bin comes crashing down upon the head of Matt McClain. Batee tries so hard to get away that he falls to his hands and his knees and makes his way out of the exit way. McClain and Mike Sloan continue to brawl around the ringside area.]
Promo: What the hell is that over in the Bethesda Fountain! Oh, my God! Michael Cavenaugh, Jeff Harris, and Triple Six Trek are brawling in the fountain. They’re all three a bloody mess and it’s getting all over the tax payer funded monument. Bloomberg is not going to happy! The city officials are never going to let us have a show in central park again. Oh great! Here comes Face of Perfection and their manager Exuwa and they’re carrying two ladders.
[Mike knocks Matt McClain upside the head with the ladder to knock him down. Mike Sloan continues to assault Matt. The two scale to the top of ladder. Six more of the fans clear the ring as they see the two atop the ladders. Pete leaps off the ladder onto Ulfric, Spectre, and a couple of fans. Mike leaps off and hits Particle Man, Chris Ross, and a few more fans. The one fan that did not get caught in the chaos decides to leave. Universe Man drags the injured fans out of the ring one by one and JD Hart and Handsome Mike make their way to the ringside area. The Sex Symbols slide the ladders into the ring. They put their heads in between two steps in the middle of each ladder and start spinning around mowing down everyone in the ring. The Sex Symbols throw the ladders to the outside of the ring and they land on McClain and Sloan. Universe Man steps over the top rope and nails The Sex Symbols with a massive double clothesline. Universe Man lifts the newly crowned champion onto his shoulders and stands amidst a battlefield of fallen warriors.]
Universe Man: BACW!!!!!!
Crowd: [YEAH!] Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
Promo: We’re out of time for this week. See you all at the next Pay-per-view, Grinder!
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
End TVMA
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