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Date: April 1, 2008
Venue: Madison Square Garden
Location: Manhattan. New York
Trail of Tears [Part 2] :
[Our pay per view opens with Candice Hoffman near the loading dock where all the wrestlers are required to park their cars. Primping herself with a small compact, she waits on the arrival of former BACW Heavyweight champion The Spectre, who has been rumored to be in a rather jovial mood. As we all know, when Spectre is in a “good” mood, that’s a very bad thing for everyone around him.]
Candice: Hello fan-boys and fan-girls, I am your sexy on-the-scene X-Zone reporter Candice Hoffman, and I am just outside the arena waiting on the arrival of former BACW Heavyweight Champion The Spectre. As the winner of last year’s Grinder, Spectre will have a heavy task ahead of him if he hopes to not only recapture his championship belt he lost last month to Particle Man, but also to repeat as the Grinder winner. There have been numerous rumors floating around in the back that Spectre has been seen with a smile on his face, and come hell or high water, I’m going to find out why!
[Then, as if on cue, the sounds of an engine can be heard rumbling louder and louder as it approaches the parking area.]
[VA-ROOM!]
[VAA-ROOOM!]
[VAAA-ROOOOM!]
[The camera turns and instantly captures Spectre’s custom made purple monster truck fishtailing around the corner. Screech the tires as the truck swerves down the ramp, the vehicle shows no sign of stopping. Realizing they are right in the way, Candice and her cameramen scramble like rats on a ship looking for safety.]
[VAA-ROOOM!]
[VAAA-ROOOOM!]
Candice: [Rapidly clicking her high heels off to the side.] Get out of the way!!
[VAAA-ROOOOM!]
[The lighting guy can be seen sprinting passed the camera man, who stumbles getting tangled up in some random cables. He can't get out of the way and flat on his back, the huge truck runs over him without harm.]
[VAAA-ROOOOM!]
[CRUNCCCCH!]
[BOOM!]
[VAAA-ROOOOM!]
[CRASH!]
[A loud collision can be heard and the sounds of crunching metal and broken glass echo off the loading dock walls. Several car alarms go off as our scene becomes filled with smoke. People are screaming, and some gagging from the poisonous emission. Stunned but okay, the camera man gets to his feet, coughing as smoke from the engine continues to fill the air.]
Candice: [Holding a handkerchief over her mouth.] Where's my camera!!!!?
[Picking up the camera and turning toward Candice, who is also getting to her feet, the reporter's perfectly set red hair is a now a complete mess.]
Cameraman: [Filming.] We are rolling Candice, but are you ok?
Candice: Yeah, I’ll be fine. [Annoyed sarcasms] I thought the moles said he was in a good mood?
Cameraman: [Shrugs.]
Candice: [Looking at the truck.] I don't get paid to be run over Spectre!
[Dusting off her mini skirt and giving a quick shake to her hair, Hoffman gets right down to business.]
Candice: He's coming out, breaks over boys! Let's get a shot of that truck before we approach him.
[The camera man refocuses on Spectre’s monster Truck that's “parked” sideways on top of what appears to be Chris Ross' brand new car. With smoke bellowing from the hood, Spectre hops out with Johnny the hyena following closely behind him.]
Johnny: [OOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!]
[Spectre steps back from the wreckage laughing sadistically, and in doing so, admires his “handiwork”.]
Spectre: And they said my monster truck wouldn't fit in here! See Johnny, I told them they were wrong!
[In the background a piece of the concrete ceiling Spectre destroyed falls onto the floor of the garage.]
Crowd: [Light laughter.]
[Immediately marching over to Spectre, Candice gets right down to the nitty gritty.]
Candice: Spectre, can I...
Spectre: [Still looking at the mess he made he holds out his hand without even looking in her direction.] No you cannot!
[Still ignoring Candice, Spectre grabs a nearby 2-wheel dolly but the persistent Hoffman remains on his heels.]
Candice: But Spectre, you just destroyed Chris Ross’ car! And, what about the fact you almost killed my entire camera crew a few seconds ago! Did you think we were Project X?
[Spectre stops dead in his tracks and turns.]
Spectre: Project X is here?!
Candice: My moles say they have already arrived in the building.
Spectre: [Thrusting his arms into the air.] GOOD!
Candice: Good?
Spectre: That's right Candice I said good!
Candice: I know you said good, but why did you say it?
Spectre: My delicate little flower, I said it because this means I might get a chance to beat the shit out of those cowardly pukes! And, as far as Chris Ross and his car are concerned, he can cry me a river for all I care! His career has become nothing but a speed bump!
[The former BACW champion yanks the dolly.]
Spectre: Now if you will excuse me...
[Continuing to walk toward the tailgate of his truck, Candice watches as the purple haired freak tries to maneuver a large metal barrel onto the dolly.]
Candice: [Tapping him on the shoulder] Excuse me... Spectre?
[CLUNK!]
Spectre: [Wide eyed.] JESUS! I just dropped it on my foot!!!
[Sliding the barrel to the side, Spectre tries to control his rage.]
Spectre: [Under his breath] ...nagging housewife!
Candice: [Not hearing Spectre] I'm sorry?
Spectre: Nothing Candice! Look, I have stuff to do...
Candice: Well, the fans want to know what became of your mission to find BACW's Heavyweight belt.
Spectre: [Pausing to take notice of the question] Can you or can you not see I'm doing something?!
Candice: Duh! Of course I can... What is that, some kind of crazy ACME trap?
Spectre: ACME?
Candice: I take it you don't watch cartoons.
Spectre: I take it you don't have a husband?
Candice: My social life isn't up for questioning Spectre, but there is something that is. Some people are questioning your loyalty to BACW and your ability to get back their property. In fact, I heard rumors you were scared...
[CLUNK]
Spectre: [Dropping the barrel on his foot for a second time] I DID IT AGAIN! AAAAH!!!!
[A purple glow fills Spectre's eyes. Getting nose to nose with Candice, his spit flies in her face.]
Spectre: Let me tell you something Candice, I live, breathe and BLEED BACW! And, it doesn’t matter if I am the champion or not. Whoever took that belt is a dead man! And as far being scared...
[Spectre turns and looks directly into the camera.]
Spectre: YEAH, I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU, PROJECT X!
[Pausing in an attempt to regain his composer Spectre shakes the lens.]
Spectre: You guys don’t scare me, because you're not a threat! No, you idiots are worthless cowards who obviously can't fight a one on one battle! You think you're so cold, calculating and methodical? Bullshit! Tonight, I'm going to show you how truly METHODICAL I can be in the ring!
[CLANG!]
[Spectre finally yanks the barrel to the side.]
Candice: Now, pardon me for asking, but you sound like you actually found the belt.
[Spectre is adjusting and setting the barrel on the dolly so it is properly balanced.]
Spectre: No, I can’t say I found it, but I know who has it. Hehehehehe…
Candice: You cracked the code?!!! Who has it Spectre? Who is Project X?!
Spectre: Hehehehehehehe… Candice. That person could be watching so let’s just say I will take matters into my own hands when the time presents itself.
[Spectre straps the barrel to the dolly.]
Candice: One last question?
Spectre: Are you still here!
Candice: Come on Spectre, one more... pleeeease?
Spectre: Considering I can see right down your shirt, ONE MORE! Then I have to get this barrel inside and hidden.
Candice: Glad you're enjoying the view. [Rolls her eyes] You won the 2007 Grinder by coming in last. Considering the competition has gotten tougher over the past year, what do you think your chances are of winning Grinder two years in a row if you come into the cage first?
[Spectre props the dolly back, ready to wheel the barrel away.]
Spectre: Now that I am NOT BACW heavyweight champion, my chances have become a lot, lot better.
Candice: But… Spectre… You could draw number one, which makes it almost impossible for you to win. You could sustain an injury early and not be able to continue. You could…
[Spectre places a hand on Candice shoulder, and strokes her arm gently. Licking his lips as he continues to undress her with his eyes.]
Spectre: Candice, Candice, Candice… baby! Trust me… I…will…win… Sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands. Which leads me to my next question. When will you allow me to take you into my own hands?
Candice: UGH! [Knocking Spectre's hand off her shoulder.] When hell freezes over!
Spectre: [Chuckles] ... Then I think we are done here.
[Spectre starts to wheel away the dolly and barrel, but Candice stops him.]
Candice: WAIT!
[Spectre rolls his eyes.]
Spectre: Candice, you said one question and now you're starting to make me twitch.
Candice: [Running her hand down her blouse, Candice undoes one of her shirt buttons] I just wanted to ask what was in the barrel.
Spectre: Uhh… Holy Mangos! [Shaking his head he snaps out of her trance] NO! You said one more question, Candice, and I already answered it. I am not going to tell you what’s in the barrel, and I will NOT tell you what I mean by taking matters into my hands. Now, if you will excuse me…
[Spectre wheels the dolly away, and Candice gets a whiff of something foul-smelling.]
Candice: [Holding her nose] Oh my, that barrel stinks!
Spectre: [As he walks away] So do you Candice, at least once a month, but you don't hear me complaining do you?
Candice: [Hands on her hips] What an asshole!
Spectre: [Entering the building] Why thank you Ms. Hoffman! I do butt crunches all the time.
[Slamming the door to the building, the purple haired freak is gone and Candice is left to wrap up the segment.]
Candice: Well folks, that's all for now. I'm your sexy on the scene xZone reporter Candice Hoffman saying if it stinks like that barrel, then it definitely doesn't belong on my show.
Click to continue Grinder X...
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