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Date: April 1, 2008
Venue: Madison Square Garden
Location: Manhattan. New York
Expect the Unexpected [Part 20]:
[The shot opens with Spectre in the wings trying to get the jump on Project X before they can attack again. If that should happen, Spectre plans to come out from his hiding place and Tazer the group unconscious. Running up from behind him, Candice looks to get in a quick interview before the main event.]
Candice Hoffman: Spectre! Spectre! Got another second before the main event?
Spectre: [Ignoring Candice] NO!
Candice: [Asking the question anyway] What are you going to do if you're inside the cage and the lights go out again?
[Shaking with rage, Spectre swallows his spit and flares his nostrils.]
Spectre: Should the lights go out during the GRINDER MATCH, and I'm inside the cage, I will drop to the floor immediately to stay out of harms way.
Candice: WHAT?!
Spectre: [Running the Tazer up the outside of Candice's firm thigh.] See this Tazer?
[ZZZZZAAAAPPPPP!]
Candice: Oh that's a Tazer... And here I was thinking you were really happy to see me!
Spectre: In your dreams Candice! Anyway, if they come for me, I'm going to go to town on them with it! To the head! To the balls! To the neck! I'm going to shock them so bad; you're going to think they were a frozen dinner in a microwave. I don't like Project X coming into my house, becoming a thorn in my side, and I will do whatever it takes to rid BACW of Project X.
[Pulling back his dive suit Spectre reveals the nasty scars from his barbwire encounter with Project X a few weeks ago.]
Spectre: A scar is like a tattoo, its forever! Project X, I'm begging you to get into that cage! In fact, I'm daring you to get into that cage! Time's up boys, now Spectre wants to play!
[Walking away from the reporter, Candice can hear the music cueing up for our main event.]
Candice: Wow! So there you have it folks! Spectre just dared Project X to get into the Grinder cage and see who the king of mountain is. I'm your sexy xZone reporter Candice Hoffman saying, if it's not a Tazer in your pocket, then you definitely belong on my show. Back to you Promo!
Main Event: Welcome to Our 10th Annual Grinder Event: [Part 9]:
[As the camera feed ends, and the announcers don’t know what to make of the situation. With Particle Man still bleeding in the ring, Mr. Batee’s music hits and still at ringside, Sloan’s smile goes to one of concern.]
Promo: This should be interesting.
E.D: I’m glue to my seat. In fact, if I had to piss in my pants I would.
[Walking down the isle with his blood stained shirt ripped and his eye swollen, Mr. Batee enters the ring with a very subdued look on his face. Calling for the microphone, Mike Sloan continues to pace back and forth like a caged lion on the outside.]
Mr. Batee: [Holding a towel over his eye.] If you haven’t heard by now, Matty McClain has been suspended from BACW due to a breech in his newly signed contract. He cost Eric Dane his match, and as a result, we are now in breach of Eric Dane's contract. Eric, please accept my full apologies, and know that I will do everything in my power to get you back into the world title scene.
Crowd: [BOO!]
Mr. Batee: Now Matty, well he has made it abundantly clear from his actions tonight that he no longer is willing to negotiate with the fans, the staff, or myself. Therefore, it is with regret that I say… Matty… thanks for all the good times and at the next TVMA show, you will find out just how long your punishment will be!
Crowd: [POP!]
Mr. Batee: With that said, Matty will be taken from the number two slot in the Grinder, and he will be replaced with you Mike Sloan!
Mike Sloan: [Punching the cage] WHAT?! Number two! What kind of shit is this?
Mr. Batee: The kind that smells son! Now at this time Eric Dane, Chris Ross, Mike Cavenaugh and from the looks of our champion Particle Man, have been scratched from the main event!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: This is crazy!
E.D: There go some of the heavy favorites.
Mr. Batee: Eric Dane has been given the final entrant number and is currently being monitored and should his bleeding stop, he will enter last.
Crowd: Bull-shit! Bull-shit! Bull-shit!
Mr. Batee: Love BACW or hate BACW, you must respect the guys in the backroom that made you what you are today. Without that respect, this business will fall into the shitter and I refuse to allow that to happen like in some other places that I wouldn't wipe my ass with. Now let’s grind up the roster! [Snapping into an upbeat tone and turning to Mike Sloan.] Sloan, you’re representing the most violent promotion in the history of wrestling at NAWA's BIG3. Now as the new leader of this hellhole, let’s see what you have!
Promo: Mr. Batee has exited the ring and it appears he will take his place alongside us for The Grinder. [clearing a seat for the owner.] Welcome aboard boss. [Extends his hand.] Fine show you are running thus far.
Mr. Batee: Thank you Paul.
E.D: [Hides his spiked water.] Hey Batee, sup.
Mr. Batee: Sup? You smell like a wine-o Danger now get the hell out of here!!
E.D: What?
Mr. Batee: If you breathe on me again with that shank ass breath, I'll fire your ass! Now before I start getting upset Eric - Leave NOW!
E.D: Fine! But I'm still getting paid right?
Mr. Batee: NOW!
E.D: Fine, but I'm taking my official Grinder seat with me!
[Danger slams his headset on the ground and Mr. Batee is caught whispering into his cell phone.]
Mr. Batee: Eric is drunk again... I need your here champ. I understand you are not under contract but I need someone with experience out here to call the color.
????: It’s going to be like hot apple pie and ice cream.
[I AM IRON MAN]
Crowd: [Biggest pop of the night.]
[As Particle Man is helped into the back, former World Champion Darrel Besolve joins Mr. Batee at ringside just as his theme music comes to an end.]
[Pop Pop POP!]
[Crackle!]
[BOOM!]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
[The pyrotechnics explode in a series of glitz and glamour the new co-host joins the show.]
Darrel Besolve: Hello old friend. I see you're still using the 1999 cage?
Mr. Batee: You know me Darrel, it's all about the glory days.
Promo: Hi, Paul Prominski remember me?
Darrel Besolve: [Brushing Paul off] Hello Paul. You know Batee, if I were performing you would have had to at least paint the damn thing superman blue.
Mr. Batee: If you return, I’ll get a new cage.
Besolve: This time around I'm going to ask for a lot more than that...
Mr. Batee: Name your price Darrel, my door is always open for an open offer. [Holds his finger up.] But Chris Ross isn’t becoming the Heavyweight champion, I would rather sleep with Johnny than see that happen.
Besolve: What if Ross sleeps with Johnny?
Mr. Batee: Now that would be funny!
Promo: [Being ignored] Anyone want to talk about the match?
Mr. Batee: Just sit tight Paul, Darrel and I will handle it from here. [Offering a bottle of water] Here, drink the rest of Danger's water.
Promo: But that's vodka?
Mr. Batee: I SAID DRINK IT!
Promo: Yes Sir!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Michael Stuffher: New York City! Welcome to Grinder X!
Crowd: [HUGE POP!]
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: This next contest is a first blood steel cage match which means. Once you bleed, you will be asked to leave the cage. On the line, Bad ASS Championship Wrestling's vacated heavyweight title!
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: We will start off with two, and every 3 minutes, we will bring in one additional BACW wrestler until the lock room is emptied. Mike Sloan as drawn number one and the superstar drawing number two is…
[BUZZ!!!!]
Stuffher: Triple Six Trek!
Crowd: [POP!]
Besolve: Into the cage comes Trek and Sloan ducks the wild clothesline! Sloan reloads and thrusting forward, misses with a sniper-like super kick to the jaw! Sloan immediately reels but Trek is there to capitalize with a text book chin buster!
Mr. Batee: Sloan was certainly one of my better decisions and thank heavens the company he was with last had no faith in his ability inside the ring. Although he's starting off slow right now, I'm sure he will be in the final four when all is said and done.
[Pulling the stunned Sloan to his feet, Trek tosses him into the turnbuckle with a hard thud! Charging forward and launching himself into the air, Trek connects with big time SPLASH!]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Besolve: Taking hold of the ropes, Trek delivers a killer elbow to the jaw of Sloan sending our number one contender down to the canvas once again.
[Dragging Mike into the center of the ring, Trek unloads a scoop slam before signaling to the fans that’s he’s going to the top turnbuckle.]
Mr. Batee: High risk maneuver for Trek
Besolve: Yeah, I’m not sure if he needs to do this so early in the match and against some of Sloan's caliber.
Mr. Batee: I guess he's establishing himself as a risk taker?
Besolve: This is Grinder Batee and just getting into the cage is a risk in itself! All you have to do is get your opponent to bleed. Doing moves from the top turnbuckle is crazy and that’s coming from a man who won the heavyweight title more times than I can remember.
Crowd: Jump! Jump! Jump!
Trek: WHOOOA!!!
[BOOM!]
Mike Sloan: [Kicking his legs.] OOOWWWWW!!!
Mr. Batee: Triple Six Trek is a performer and my god, did you see him just bury the heavyweight champion with that Swanton Bomb! Clear across the ring, this young man is everything I expected him to be.
Crowd: Trek! Trek! Trek!
[Knowing pin falls are not part of the match, Trek pulls Sloan from the canvas and once again, pushes him in the direction of the nylon. Coming off hard, Trek leaps into the air trying to execute a leap frog but Sloan counters with a masterful power bomb.]
Crowd: [OH!]
[Trek’s body bounces from the canvas and as Sloan lowers a leg drop across the throat, the horn sounds and another wrestler is added to the mix.]
[BUZZ!!!]
[From behind the curtain, Mike Turner emerges and following behind him is a limping Exuwa. Mike slowly begins to walk down the aisle and once at ringside climbs into the cage.]
Stuffher: Ladies and Gentlemen! Accompanied to the ring by his father Exuwa, here is: Mike Turner!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Mr. Batee: Mike Turner better pray he gets eliminate because if Spectre decides to show up, his ass is grass!
Besolve: Batee, they lost their titles to a man named Trek… How much more can one person take in a given evening?
Mr. Batee: It’s never enough as far as the fans are concerned.
Besolve: You and your fans need serious help Batee.
[Sneaking up up from behind Trek, Mike Turner and applies a cross-face chicken wing! Immediately Trek’s eyes open wide and his arms begin to wave. Reaching behind his head, Trek counters with a reverse chin buster.]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Mr. Batee: This Triple Six Trek appears to be very resilient.
Besolve: He doesn't impress me.
Mr. Batee: Hold that thought Darrel, Trek just caught his breath and boy does he appear angry!
[Holding onto the cage, Trek loads up his wrestling boots banging them against the canvas. Motioning for Turner to face Sloan, Trek drives forward drilling both men right in the face with a double drop kick. Completely by accident, Mike falls back into the cage and is instantly knocked unconscious.]
Mr. Batee: Whoa!
Exuwa: NO!!!!
Besolve: Here comes Sloan!
[THUMP!]
Trek: [UGH!]
Mr. Batee: Trek is taken off his feet by a wild Sloan clothesline and scraping Trek from the floor, Mike Sloan tosses him into the turnbuckle with authority.
[BOOM!]
Besolve: Trek stumbles from the corner and Sloan follows up with a hip toss that sends Trek skidding across the canvas.
[BUZZ!!!]
[Looking to gain the advantage after the horn sounds, Jeff Harris barrels down the isle diving through the cage door. Kicking Mike Turner right in the face, Harris immediately tosses Turner face first into the mesh by the head. Ripping and grinding Mike’s profile onto the rusty, jagged edges, Turner instantly becomes a crimson mess at the hands of the brand new State champion.]
Besolve: Jeff Harris is going crazy in the ring but look at this, Turner refuses to exit the cage! He needs someone to read him the rules.
Besolve: Turner is gushing blood like an oil rig and my god, Harris is now flipping out on Mike Sloan!
Referee: [Motioning for security to get Mike Turner out of the cage.] Get him out of there! Turner! You’re gone!
[Before the extra referee’s can get to Mike, he drives his fist into the crotch of Jeff Harris and pegs him in the face with a spinning back fist.]
Crowd: [OOO!]
[Tackling Mike in the ring while Exuwa warns of unlawful abuse, Mike Turner is dragged from the cage leaving Mike Sloan and Triple Six Trek to pummel Jeff Harris without mercy.]
Mr. Batee: In the beginning, these two men wanted to kill each other and now they are working together to kill Jeff! The Grinder is an unbelievable mix of strategies that can change with every man added or eliminated.
Besolve: Sloan has backed up into the corner of the cage and is motioning Trek to lift him off the mat.
[Pulling Trek to all fours, Sloan drives through the challenger with a running knee lift from hell! Harris falls backwards and zooming in on his face, you can see he is not bleeding. Daze and confused, the horn sounds again and down the isle comes Rick Ulfric!]
Mr. Batee: This is going to be sweet revenge for Ulfric who failed to win the belt early this evening.
[Into the ring and taking hold of Mike Sloan, Rick sends Sloan into the cage using nothing but pure muscle!]
Crowd: [WHOA!]
Besolve: Sloan bounces off the cage and good lord, Ulfric hits the clothesline from hell. Turning into the ring, Rick charges again connecting with a double clothesline from hell on both Sloan and Trek!
Mr. Batee: Mike Sloan helped him win his match! What's the nut job doing?
Besolve: You have no friends when you enter this cage Batee! And think about it, Sloan just might THE toughest in the cage right so why not eliminate him right off that bat?
[Peering through the cage, Rick lets out a warrior’s cry telling all three men to get the hell up.]
Ulfric: [Motioning with his hands.] Get up and fight like men!
Besolve: Ulfric seems to be angry Bats. I’m not sure if that’s a healthy emotion.
Mr. Batee: I'm shocked! Ulfric has decimated everything moving in that cage and if he wins The Grinder, I couldn’t think of a better champion to lead BACW.
Besolve: Bats… You had a superhero as your champion for a month.
Mr. Batee: [Confused.] What the hell are you talking about Darrel?
Besolve: Hey Bats, I'm on a roll please don’t try and confuse me.
[Inside the cage, Ulfric has T-Bone suplexed Sloan, pile driven Harris and unloaded multiple head butts to Triple Six Trek. Overall, everyone in the cage is getting their ass handed to them by a dominate Rick Ulfric.]
[BUZZ!!!]
Stuffher: Next to enter the Grinder, Pete Turner!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Pulling Sloan to his feet, Ulfric hears the name… “Pete Turner” called and drops Sloan immediately. With his eyes focused on the cage door a very cautious Pete enters, knowing Sloan is looking to take the freshest man out first.]
Besolve: What’s Pete doing?
Mr. Batee: He has entered the cage and is now turning his back to Ulfric? That’s suicide!
Besolve: LOOK OUT RICK!
Crowd: [WOW!]
[Charging with salivated jowls, Jeff Harris spears Ulfric into the cage. Choking, punching, biting and kicking until Ulfric is a pool of blood, Jeff Harris eliminates another wrestler from The Grinder. Forcing his wrestling boot into the side of Rick’s head, Harris jams Ulfric’s blood covered brow against the bottom of the mesh panel.]
Jeff Harris: Come on mother fucker! You’re in here with the State champion!
Referee: Ulfric, you’re out!
[Forcing his way from the ropes, you can see Ulfric might be bleeding, but he certainly isn’t hurt. Licking the blood from his upper lip, he tells Harris, “It’s not over between Harris!”]
Jeff Harris: [Waving bye bye.] See ya!
[BUZZ!!!]
Stuffher: The Spectre!
Mr. Batee: Now this show is going to get interesting.
Besolve: Yeah Bats, I don’t think Spectre's coming out.
Mr. Batee: Just be patient Beoslve, you know that patience is a virtue.
Besolve: You know “Spitting into the wind” is a virtue too.
[As Ulfric exits the cage with a sick smile on his blood covered face, you see Harris facing off against Mike Sloan and Pete Turner now taking over the offense on Trek. Forcing Trek into the corner of the ring, Pete plows into his opponent with a few knees to the midsection. Doubling over from the impact, Trek allows himself to be DDT’d in the corner hard. With visions or sugar plumbs dancing in his head, Pete lines up Trek in the corner and points to the top turnbuckle.]
Besolve: Here we go again! Why are these guys trying to out wrestle each other? Seems to me Harris is the only person in the cage who understands how to win Grinder.
Mr. Batee: You’re looking at an entirely new group of BACW wrestlers Darrel and if these guys are here when we do this thing in 2009, I guarantee you they will all understand what it's all about.
Besolve: Well if I’m here Batee, they are all going to understand the meaning of the phrase “Career Killed.”
Mr. Batee: Speaking of killing careers, Pete is tumbling through the air and look out below!
[THUD!]
Crowd: [OOO!]
Mr. Batee: Pete Turner just crushed Trek with a big elbow and look out folks, Pete Turner is in the house!
Besolve: I’ll say it again, if he didn’t make him bleed, he didn’t do anything but take an unnecessary risk.
[Wrapping his fingers around the throat of Triple Six Trek, Turner tries to really drive the point home that he wants to be the sole survivor by now strangling his foe with the aid of the bottom rope. Behind him, Jeff Harris continues to dominate by bad mouthing Mike Sloan after an out of control T-bone Suplex that leaves Mike holding his neck in pain. Stunned, the crowd looks on as Harris verbally unloads.]
Jeff Harris: [Pointing in Sloan’s face.] I told you not to mess with me! I told you to beware of the Ides of March. Mike, it’s my turn to unload the biggest truck load of hate your sorry ass will ever see!
[Reaching back to deliver the final blow that just might bust Mike Sloan wide open, Pete Turner comes from the side and drop kicks Harris in the side of head. Pete is doing well, forcing Jeff upright, and pushing him off the ropes, waits for the boom-a-rang return. The state champion bounces off the nylon and trying to counter with a Thesz Press the NY State champion counters with a hotshot against the cage! Grinding his face from the middle of the cage all the way down to the bottom, Pete Turner looks on as Harris remains face down in the ropes. The referee’s on the outside see blood streaming from Jeff’s eye lid and yelling into the PA they gain his attention.]
Referee: Jeff Harris has been eliminated!
[Seeing the blood, Harris reaches into his trunks and before exiting the cage, tosses a pair of brass knuckles to Mike Sloan. As Pete taunts Jeff, he doesn’t see Sloan approaching with his fist balled up. Spins Alex around, and rips into his flesh with the brass knuckles. Pete’s head immediately comes apart and blood starts to gush down the front of his face. Calling out through the cage, the referee's asked Turner to exit the cage.]
Mr. Batee: First it was Mike Turner, second was Rick Ulfric, third was Jeff Harris, now it’s Pete Turner! On the outside, Spectre is just watching the action, and there are only four men left who can claim the ultimate prize. Mike Sloan! Triple Six Trek! Spectre! And one more wrestler who has yet to be announced!
[Not being able to take it anymore, Spectre barrels into the cage and all three men take turns beating the god holy hell out of him. Kicking scratching, biting clawing and doing anything and everything they can to Spectre, a huge flash of light is seem from within the maylay.]
[ZAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!]
Crowd: [OH!]
Mr. Batee: He's got a stun gun!
Besolve: You have to be kidding me.
[Falling from the pile like flies, Spectre picks up Triple Six Trek and dragging his face across the mesh, brutally tears the flesh from Trek's forehead. The blood pours down Trek's face and throwing him through the opening, Triple Six Trek has been eliminated.]
Stuffher: Trek has been eliminated!
[BUZZ!!!]
Stuffher: And the final opponent to enter the 2008 Grinder....
[“Peyote Healing” by Robbie Robertson hits and the crowd goes crazy. Jeremy King runs towards the cage and trying to enter too fast, he runs into a Spectre big boot. Falling backwards and wrapping his head on the metal stairs, Jeremy never even makes it into the cage before being eliminated.]
Mr. Batee: Oh my Lordy! That's my head of security guard!
Crowd: Spec-tre! Spec-tre! Spec-tre!
Besolve: It looks like it's going to be Spectre and Sloan and when all this is over only one man is going to say he was better than the entire BACW roster on this given Sunday!
Mr. Batee: Technically you're right, but look at the people who eliminated themselves. I mean this field didn't have Ross, Cavenaugh, Dane, or Particle Man. Certainly those wrestlers not being able to get in the ring made a difference.
Besolve: I completely agree but isn't part of winning Grinder surviving your initial match?
Mr. Batee: You are wise Mr. Besolve.
[Tying up in the center of the ring, Spectre is first to get off an Irish whip sending Sloan into the ropes. Not expecting the challenger to come off with such steam, Spectre is knocked backwards as Sloan goes on the offensive with a high cross body. Rolling through the high cross body, Sloan mounts Spectre and unloads with punches in bunches.]
Crowd: [Stomping]
[With Mike Sloan stunned, Spectre lowers a vertical elbow across his brow. Still not drawing blood, the time inside the steel cage is beginning to take its toll on Sloan.]
Mr. Batee: Sloan looks like he’s running out of gas!
Besolve: I can see that Batee, but how much does Spectre have in the tank too? I understand he just got in there but he is very large!
[Concealing his fist as Mike Sloan releases his top mount, Spectre lunges forward but misses the wild haymaker and Sloan counters with go behind. Off the canvas it's a side suplex by Sloan that dumps Spectre directly on to the back his neck and Sloan runs towards the ropes looking for a lionsault. As Sloan arches backwards, an alert Spectre lifts his knees and his opponent lands on hard times.]
Besolve: Spectre found the discarded brass knuckles!!
Mr. Batee: Rolling onto Sloan, Spectre unloads with repeated brass knuckle shots until Mike Sloan's face is covered in his own blood.
Besolve: And this one is over!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Mr. Batee: Mike Sloan is busted open and like it or not, The Spectre is once again BACW Heavyweight Champion!
Crowd: [POP!]
Besolve: I don't believe it!
Mr. Batee: What?
Besolve: Even without my greatness in the ring, Grinder proved to be the dogfight it was built up to!
Mr. Batee: Why thank you Darrel.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match and once again NEW BACW Heavyweight Champion The Spectre!
Crowd: Spectre! Spectre! Spectre!
Mr. Batee: If you would have asked me at the beginning of this show if The Spectre would be standing here as the leader of Professional Wrestling’s Official Stomp Hall at the end of this show I would have told you, you were crazy! Well, that just goes to show you that good things come to those who work hard. Well Darrel, it was grand seeing you again, but I have to present this new belt to a very deserving champion.
Besolve: I'll see you at the negotiating table.
Mr. Batee: Sooner the better.
Besolve: [Winks]
[Fade to the ring for the presentation of the title.]
Click to continue Grinder X...
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