NAWA Presents:
BIG 3 - May 5th, 2008 The BIG Three: [Part 2] [No head, no foot, this is a place where every man is equal. For almost a decade, Mr. Batee and his new partners have secretly longed for the swift death of the so called boys club. United and together, they have finally formed a bond no one can break.] [We are the North American Wrestling Alliance; where good become the best!] [Fade into our opening scene.] [Unbeknown to the three regional owners, the camera gives way to what's supposed to be a private discussion. Like most families, on the outside the NAWA seems to be a cohesive unit, but on the inside, they are more like vultures trying to peck away at the ground beneath their competition.] [We join our conversation already in progress.] Mr. Batee: I'm going to tell you fellas for the last time, the next time Matty McClain appears on a BWA show, I'm going to sue the pants off of you! Do you hear me Ryder?! [Pounding his fist on the desk, Ryder points back with a strong finger.] Like the five fingers of the hand, they work in unison for a common goal? Shawn Ryder: Sit down Colonel Sanders! And please don't make the mistake of thinking I'm not capable of kicking your Southern ass all over this table. McClain told me his side of the story and from what I was shown; you can't prevent the Bayou from putting him TV. Mr. Batee: The hell I can't! Shawn Ryder: Screw you Batee! No one likes you anyway! You've been tossed out of every alliance in the business and after only a few short weeks I can see why! It's always BACW this, and BACW that! You don't want to work with people; you just want to run them over like road kill! [A worried look comes across the owner of CASW as he watches to two bicker back and forth.] They are unbreakable? [Pulling off his white Armani jacket, Mr. Batee throws his chair shattering it against the wall. Mr. Batee: Well if you're feeling froggy, then all you have to do is jump Ryder! I never backed down from a fight in my life and I'm sure as hell ain't going to start now! [Putting up his fists Ryder comes around the table only to be greeted by Scott Fox who throws himself in the middle of the argument.] One voice working for the good of all? [Pushing his hands out, Scott Fox more rational of the three separates the scuffle.] Scott Fox: I know this sounds cliché but can't we all just get along? Mr. Batee & Shawn Ryder: SHUT UP FOX! NAWA has quickly become the place every owner looking for a fair shake longed to be? [Snatching up the marquee for Big 3, Mr. Batee continues his subtle power play.] Mr. Batee: And another thing Ryder, where in the God dang hell is Trench? This event is supposed to be BIG 3 not BIG 2! And without Trench in the mix, our Main Event looks like a big number two! So instead of worrying about stealing my contracted talent for you Cage in a Rage show... Shawn Ryder: That's Cajun Rage you idiot! Mr. Batee: Whatever it's called! Perhaps you need to get your own ship sailing straight before venturing out into my BACW waters? Shawn Ryder: Why you son of a... [Ryder lunges at Batee's throat looking to Bart Simpson him with his bare hands but Batee back peddles like Ali.] Scott Fox: STOP! [Back from catching his breath, the cooler Canadian interjects once again.] Scott Fox: Break it up! NOW! In front of us, only those owners awarded with the highest honor of good manners were privileged enough to sit at this round table? [Aggressively knocking Scott's hand off his chest Mr. Batee growls back in protest.] Mr. Batee: You touch me again; and I'll sandpaper your dang face! Screw this crap! I don't need you or anyone else! Scott Fox: Okay this is getting ridiculous! We are supposed to the Big 3! Different from the rest! A cohesive unit! Look at us! We're doing the very thing we are trying to run from! Shawn Ryder: I can't believe I'm going to say this, but Fox does have a point. Mr. Batee: Does this mean I can't control the NAWA World Hardcore title making it in essence a BACW belt exclusive to my region? Shawn Ryder & Scott Fox: BATEE!!! Mr. Batee: I was just asking... [Retreating into three neutral corners, the three try once again to creatively work together. Fox takes the gavel and pounds it in an attempt to draw order.] Scott Fox: Can we please get on with the business at hand? Ryder: I agree Fox, where are we with the arrival of this mystery person of yours Brad? You promised us something for tonight but as of yet we haven't seen anything concrete. Mr. Batee: I'm telling you he's coming! I already spoke with him yesterday. He'll be here! Shawn Ryder: Regardless of if he comes or not, if it's who I think it is what's in it for the Bayou? Scott Fox: I wish you two wouldn't argue so much. Mr. Batee & Shawn Ryder: WE SAID SHUT UP FOX! Scott Fox: FINE! Kill yourselves but I refuse to be part of the porblem. [With Fox upset, they continue with their chatter, applying their focus to the center of the table. Writing the name of the person on a piece of paper, Batee slides it Fox, and then to Ryder.] Mr. Batee: This is who's coming to NAWA! He is my big surprise! All for one and one for all? [Silently reading the name, the other two owners' nod in agreement.] Shawn Ryder: I'm certainly impressed. Scott Fox: I thought he was dead. [The ring tone for Welcome to the Jungle goes off.] "Welcome to the Jungle, we got fun and games... We have everything thing you want. Honey we know the names..." Mr. Batee: One second gentlemen. Brad Batee speaking... Oh hey big man! Of course we have your private locker room ready... [Putting his hand over the phone Mr. Bate whispers] It's Dane, I need to take this. [As Mr. Batee walks to the back of the room, another cell phone goes off with the familiar sounds of our favorite cartoon characters.] "I'm goin' down to South Park gonna have myself a time, friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation..." Scott Fox: That would be me. CASW, Scott Fox at your service... You don't say eh? Pardon me Shawn. Shawn Ryder: Not a problem. [Now sitting at the table and going off almost on cue, Ryder picks up his phone.] "You've made my shit list! Shiiiiiiit! Liiiiiist!" Shawn Ryder: [Flipping his phone open] What do you know, my wife is calling. I guess she finally ran out of batteries. Hey Honey I take it you had a good time? Like Knights around the table, they continue to have their private conversations as we pick up bits and pieces of their broken up conversations? Mr. Batee: Eric Dane Baby! Superstar! American Idol! My only rising star! My... [Pause] What do you mean you're not showing up for Big 3? [Pause] Weak security? Eric! Superman! Crime Controller! The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! Slow down, cus you're shaking me all night long! [Pause] WHAT?!! [Pause] The Voice? [Pause] Eric baby Jeremy King is ready to protect you there no need to worry about a dang voice. King is my own personal security guard! [Pause] Of course he will be with you the entire... Mickey Mouse? What about my mother?!! Hey mother fu... Hello? Hello! Dang it! [As Batee frantically pushes the buttons on his phone trying to call back Dane, we move over to a more jovial BWA owner.] Shawn Ryder: Absolutely not! Honey, I'm not purchasing anything that's going to give me an erection for more than four hours. Mr. Batee: [Tossing his phone onto the table.] Gentlemen, we have a serious problem. Shawn Ryder: Hey babe, I have to go... Scott Fox: We can sign the deal later. Call you in aboot 15? Batee looks like someone just shot is dog. [Gathering back around the table, the camera fades as Batee's final words are faded out.] Mr. Batee: I think we just lost Eric Dane... |