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A Burning Challenge: [Part 1]
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
[The scene powers into the humid stench of a tiny arena known to most in New Mexico as "The Pit." Stomping their feet, and raising their hands, the sweated glands of 75% of the men in the audience begin to ooze with testosterone in anticipation for what Mr. Batee promises to be a night to remember. Two 360 swipes and four 180's later, we finally settle in BACW's owner who's standing in the center of the ring with an angry gaze on his face. For months, Mr. Batee has been terrorized by Chris Ross, and tonight, he plans on showing the self proclaimed "phenom" just what is means to "Enjoy the brutality." Like Haley's comet or a genocidal Tsunami, the most vilified person in the business has foreshadowed his return to the ring; and Lord help the man who's now in his cross hairs.]
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
Mr. Batee: [Clearing his throat] BAAAAAACW!
Crowd: [YEAH!] Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
Mr. Batee: [Cutting his patented monologue short] Tonight, there will be no tag line, no razzing of the fans, and no monkey business.
Crowd: [BOO!]
Mr. Batee: [Shaking his head] Boo me or cheer me, tonight's show will be about revenge and putting to a halt, a problematic pattern that has developed between myself and one of the wrestlers in the back.
Crowd: ROSS! ROSS! ROSS! ROSS!
Mr. Batee: That's right people! Chris Ross! [Pause] Chris, you have placed your hands on me for the last time, and up until a few months ago, I have allowed your behavior to exist here in BACW despite my promotional urge to crush you like a bug.
Crowd: [OOO!]
Mr. Batee: Barreling down the highway like a "bat out of a hell" with only destruction on your mind, I am sorry to inform you but Dr. Frankenstein, must now kill the monster. Now because I know you're not too bright Chris, that monster, well that would be you.
Crowd: [POP!]
Mr. Batee: Chris, I don't say this to insult you but rather because somewhere along the line, you must have forgotten who I am, and whom you work for. Somewhere down the line, amongst the countless "Wipe outs", the broken office furniture, and insults, you lost respect for me. But taking out your rage on me wasn't enough, was it? You laid your hands on my wife, and then disrespected my home...
Crowd: [POP!]
Mr. Batee: In essence, you crossed the line!
Crowd: Ross is gonna kill you! Ross is gonna kill you! Ross is gonna kill you!
Mr. Batee: See Chris, the way I see it, I can either fire you...
Crowd: [BOO!]
Mr. Batee: ...Or I can accept your challenge and take you mono a mono at our August pay per view Dance with the Devil.
Crowd: [POP!]
Mr. Batee: [Reaching into his lapel] Now to show you that I'm 100% serious Mr. Ross, in my hands is a signed contract for Mr. Batee vs. Chris Ross and before you come out here and make the biggest mistake of your life, I need to warn you about something. This thing between you and I is going to end bad, and in light of this knowledge, we are still going to dance if you see fit. Ross, I'm a man of many skills and if you think this is going to be some pin me pay Mr. Batee gimmick contest you're dead wrong! I'm going to outclass you, make you look dumb, and tune you up so high that when I'm through with your fat ass, you're going to look anorexic.
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
Mr. Batee: [Pausing to spit] I have faced many wrestlers here in BACW, and in case you didn't know, my career has only one blemish and that's to Darrel Besolve.
Crowd: [BOO!]
Mr. Batee: But let's forget about the one loss and focus on wins. See boy, I have beaten down the likes of Havok, and Cavenaugh, and son you are nothing more than a spit shine shoe boy compared to them in my eyes.
Crowd: [POP!]
Mr. Batee: Chris Ross! Understand something before you come out of that curtain. It took a light of judgment from 15 feet in the air, off the top of a steel cage to finish me off, and as Darrel and I went through the dang plywood hitting the concrete below with a thud, guess what happened?
Fan: YOU LOST!
Crowd: [Chuckles]
[Long pause.]
Mr. Batee: [The owner motions for the fan to be thrown out of the building.]
Crowd: Nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, say-aaaaa good-bye! Nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, say-aaaaa good bye! Nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, say-aaaaa good-bye! Nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, say-aaaaa good-bye!
Mr. Batee: [Turning his back from the scuffle] I still got up! I may have lost that ONE match, but in the process, I show cased the skills of a leader. I showed the wrestlers that to lead you must be able to lead by example. Besolve versus Batee stole the show and when it was all over, I retired never to enter the ring again! Chris, I retired because I had taken on the best, and out of shape, and without proper preparation, I still almost defeated him!
Crowd: Darrel's gonna kill you! Darrel's gonna kill you! Darrel's gonna kill you!
Mr. Batee: [Ignoring the chants] There are many in this business who hate me, and there are many who adore me. But Chris, I don't think there is one who looks at BACW and doesn't respect what I have created since February of 1999! This ring is where it all began for me Ross, where my poisonous legacy was spawned. It's here Chris Ross, where I will end this thing between you and I because at Dance with the Devil, we aren't going to fight in your silly little Hawaiian Hoo-la-hoop match. No my friend! We are doing this in a match that leaves no doubt, who the victor is. Chris, this contract in my hands is for a Burnt to a Crisp match!
Crowd: [POP!] Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
Mr. Batee: Now get out here boy, put your John Hancock on the dotted line, and give the devil his due.
Crowd: [POP!] Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
Host Paul Prominski: Absolute insanity has broken loose and what was once a bad situation for Chris Ross, I think is about to get much worse.
E.D: What are you talking about Prominski? Ross wanted Batee in the ring and now he's going to get to burn the man to a crisp!
[Cue the speakers]
PA: MY NAME IS CHRIS ROSS, AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!
Crowd: [POP!]
[Parting the curtains and sprinting down the isle it appears from Chris Ross' charge that he isn't intimidated by Mr. Batee's rant.]
Promo: Oh my here he comes!
[Stepping over the top ropes.]
E.D: Ross is motioning for the contract!
[Mr. Batee extends and Ross grabs the contract with one hand. Flaring his nostrils, Ross reaches back and after signing the paper, immediately throws a handful of Jamaican Jerk Powder into the owner's face.]
Crowd: [OH!]
Mr. Batee: AAAHHHHHHHHH! My eyes! I can't see!
[CRUNCH!]
Crowd: [OOO!]
[The fans go wild as the owner stumbles around blind finally coming to rest against the turnbuckle. Ross gets a running start and pancakes a helpless Mr. Batee with a Tsunami Splash crushing his spine into the corner.]
[THUD!]
Mr. Batee: [Wobbling in place] Oh my Lordy!
Promo: Ross moves to the side and Mr. Batee falls face first into the canvas.
[Thump!]
E.D: Someone stop this! Chris Ross is going to kill the owner!
[Ross lifts Batee up by his hair and whipping him into the ropes, personal security guard Lone Wolf [now at ringside] pulls down on the ropes allowing Mr. Batee to barely escape without serious injury.]
E.D: Mr. Batee is shaken up but I don't think Ross is done yet...
Mr. Batee: [Cough and gagging] Oh my... oh my Lordy... I think he broke my ribs...
[Ross grabs a microphone and looks down at the swollen eyed owner.]
Ross: Batee... Batee... Batee... When will you ever learn? Threatening me NEVER works. See you are too caught up with Project X to remember how much I hate you. And you know what? I feel as if you forgot about me again... And you know Batee... I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE FORGET ABOUT ME!!!
Lone Wolf: [Pointing back at Ross] You've crossed the line Ross!
Chris Ross: [Snickering back at King] Jeremy, I hope you and your boss learned a lesson. Because I am more than a mere human! I am a Phenomenon... The Hawaiian Phenomenon!!! DON'T YOU EVER FORGET IT!!!
[Handing Mr. Batee the microphone and cutting off the one in the ring, Ross can do nothing but listen.]
Mr. Batee: Ross, [cough] Chris [cough] God dang Ross! [cough] [cough] [cough] You done touched me for the last time! In fact, sometime tonight, you will be defending YOUR NAWA International championship against an opponent of my choosing!
Chris Ross: [Without a live mic] WHAT!! You can't do that! NO! [Kicking the ropes] NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! You can't do that!
Mr. Batee: [Smiling] Oh my ribs... [Shooting an evil gaze through his pain] I just did...
Crowd: [POP!]
Mr. Batee: And that's not all Ross. It's going to be no rules! No DQ's! There must be a winner and if you dare lay a hand on me again before our match next month, your ass will be fired, you will be stripped, and you will be BANNED from BACW for LIFE!! And Mr. Ross before this is all said and done, I pray to God you have the balls to...
Mr. Batee & Crowd: [In pain] Enjoy-The-Brutality!
[Slamming the microphone on the stage, the two engage in a very tense stare down.]
Chris Ross: ARRGH!!!!! YOU'RE DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!~ DEEEEAD!
Promo: Damnit someone stop this!!!
E.D.: I think now would be a good time to cut to a commercial!
Promo: Burnt to a crisp?! Lifetime supspensions?! Titles on the line against mystery men?! I never thought I'd agree with you on something but let's go to break so we can cool down the intensity of this show before we completely melt down! WOW! What an opening!
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