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Northeastern Regional Championship
Orge Lambart (C)
vs.
Randy Acorn
[Cut to a shot of our roving X-Zone reporter, Candice Hoffman who’s waiting patiently outside Darrel Besolve’s private dressing room.]
Candice Hoffman: Hello fan-boys and fan-girls, I’m your sexy on the scene x-Zone reporter Candice Hoffman, and I’m standing here outside the dressing room of the Boy Wonder himself in hopes of getting an exclusive. From what my moles have told me, Darrel has just arrived in the building, and I’m hoping this will be his first destination.
[The camera pans for a few seconds and with the emergence of Darrel Besolve, the crowd releases a huge cheer.]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
[As Team Besolve rounds the corner, manager Teddy Valentine is carrying four of Alexis Besolve’s “must have” bags. Of course this leaves BACW’s first lady to carry nothing at all, and huddled close to Darrel she eyeballs Candice from chest to legs. Chuckling at the stand off, The Boy Wonder adjusts his throw back BACW tee shirt, and wiggles the buckle on his jean shorts. Tossing his bag over his shoulder, we can see the carrier bares the insignia of the Gracie Jujitsu Academy on it.]
Candice Hoffman: Darrel! Darrel! Can I snag a quick word with you before you go into your locker room to prepare for your match against Matt McClain?
Teddy Valentine: [In a childish voice] You never cleared this interview with me, Hoffman! Back up! The future BACW champ only talks via appointment.
Candice Hoffman: That’s bull Teddy! You refused to take my calls! Besides, I’m talking to Darrel not you toadstool!
Teddy Valentine: [Turning to Darrel] Say nothing! [Looking at Candice] Watch your mouth young lady!
[Besolve, always one to ignore the sycophant, smiles warmly at Candice.]
Candice Hoffman: Please Darrel, just quick interview before you go. [Childish smile] Pleeeease?
[Holding out his hands and not saying a word, the trio stops outside the door.]
Darrel Besolve: [Oozing with charm] Well there’s the magic word little lady.
[Darrel hangs the gym bag around Teddy’s neck patting him on the back. Shoeing Teddy into the dress room, Besolve appears to be willing to grant the request.]
Teddy Valentine: But Darrel…
Darrel Besolve: Go on in, I’ll be there in a minute.
Teddy Valentine: That’s Busche! That’s Busche League, Hoffman! You haven’t heard the last from me!
Alexis Besolve: [Laughing] I’ll handle him baby. [Rolling her eyes] Let’s go, Teddy!
[The beautiful Mrs. Besolve ushers Valentine into the room still screaming as the door closes.]
Teddy Valentine: You’re gonna die, Hoffman! One day you’ll get yours!
[The door shuts.]
Darrel Besolve: [Charming smile] Please excuse Teddy, he’s like that when his blood sugar gets low.
Candice Hoffman: [Putting her arm around Darrel’s waist.] Stand here.
Darrel Besolve: If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he had a crush on you.
[Candice’s smile fades for a second but like a trooper she strikes back quickly.]
Candice Hoffman: Sorry, that idea just made me throw up in my mouth a little.
Darrel Besolve: Let’s make this quick, Candy, I’m doing this as a favor; remember?
Candice Hoffman: Well the question on everyone’s mind is, “Will you be staying in BACW for 2007 or is this a one and done contract?”…
Darrel Besolve: You didn’t hear Bradley-Brad? I’m under contract till December.
Candice Hoffman: I can appreciate that, Darrel, but we have seen you bail out on contracts before. That isn’t to take a shot at your integrity, but your reputation of being willing to no-show is pretty famous.
Darrel Besolve: [Grabs his chest.] You’re breaking my heart. You want the truth Candice? Fine. I’ll be at this for as long as I have to be and not a moment longer. If Teddy can get me outta the contract, I’m done. If he can’t till the next one—then I’m here for one more show.
Candice Hoffman: How does that affect your possibly winning the BACW heavyweight title tonight?
Darrel Besolve: Possibly? You keep up that kind of talk, Ms. Hoffman and next time I won’t stop. I’ll win the title tonight and I’ll carry my old belt around with me until I get the chance to leave. At that time, I’ll throw it down for someone else to pick up and play with. The strap doesn’t mean anything unless the champion carrying it makes it shine. Nobody walking God’s green earth thinks Matty McClain is better than me. Hell, his Momma and wife just bet money on me in Vegas a few hours ago. No belt, no matter how prestigious, is ever gonna change opinions like that.
Candice Hoffman: While it is clear that you don’t respect the Crippler, is there anyone in BACW that you do want to face?
Darrel Besolve: No. There are kids that deserve a shot at the top of this business: Specy, Randy Acorn, Alec—but that road don’t run past me. There’s a lot of good talent in this federation, hell, you can take our least skilled and put him at the top of most other federation’s cards and no one would know the difference; but this is me we’re talking about. No one here, no one ANYWHERE, can stop me in a wrestling ring.
Candice Hoffman: There are some people who would dispute that claim.
Darrel Besolve: Well where are they? Where’s Davy Boy Vance? Where’s Snake-Eyes? Where’s Jack? Where’s Ricardo or even La Sombra? They’re under their momma’s skirts ‘till they’re damn sure the big, bad, man is gone. I am the one and only true Living-Legend this place has ever known. I am a real Monster. I’ve done all the things Righteous CLAIMS he did. And, hell, I’m the only Highlight Reel anybody ever wants to see. I’m reborn and sanctified; the HOF million dollar man brought back to life. Watch it while you can. [Smirks one last time] Take care, Candy.
[She smiles back at him as he ducks into his dressing room.]
[SLAM!]
Candice Hoffman: Well there you have it, once a prick always a prick! [Smiles] I’m your sexy on the scene X-Reporter Candice Hoffman saying, if you are as arrogant as Darrel Besolve, then you don’t belong on my show, back to you Promo!
Promo: Thank you very much Candice Hoffman, our roving X-Zone Reporter!
ED: Will somebody get Candice Hoffman a wet nap because she’s dripping for something she can’t have. Heh Heh Heh Heh.
Promo: That’s disgusting, Eric.
ED: So is your mother, but you still got a little brother on the way that’s gonna look just like me.
Promo: My mom is 67 years old.
ED: [Shrugs] E.D. don’t care.
Promo: I hate you, Eric.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Michael Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest is scheduled for one fall, and will be for BACW’s Northeastern Regional Championship! Already in the ring is the challenger, from the Newark New Jersey! This is “Bad-boy” Randy Acorn!
Crowd: [BOO!] Dirty Jersey! [clap clap clap-clap clap] Dirty Jersey! [clap clap clap-clap clap] Dirty Jersey! [clap clap clap-clap clap]
Promo: Randy needs to stay low on Orge Lambart who typically likes to wear down a specific body part of his opponent before going for his crown of thorns pile driver.
ED: [Interrupting] Body parts, sh-mody parts! I have seen both of these men in the ring, and their styles are pretty similar. Orge has evolved from a junk brawler to a guy who really can execute well in the ring and I think the x-Factor in this match is going to be that hot body Nikki & the devious Preacher.
Crowd: [BOO!] Dirty Jersey! [clap clap clap-clap clap] Dirty Jersey! [clap clap clap-clap clap] Dirty Jersey! [clap clap clap-clap clap]
Promo: I agree! Tonight, Randy Acorn is out gunned and out manned! For his sake, he better have a good strategy or this one’s going to be over in no time.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Michael Stuffher: And his opponent…
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Stuffher: Accompanied to the ring by his Preacher and the lovely Nikki! From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! He is BACW’s Northeastern Regional Champion! “Beast-master” Orge Lambart!
[Out from the curtain comes The Preacher who dressed for church and Nikki who’s dressed like she’s asking $100 a pop. Seeing the blonde bombshell strut her stuff onto the stage, the crowd battles back her incredible looks.]
Crowd: We want Sarah! [clap clap clap-clap-clap] We want Sarah! [clap clap clap-clap-clap] We want Sarah! [clap clap clap-clap-clap]
Nikki: [Looking into the camera.] Hello boys! [Then looking into the crowd] Sarah? [Sarcasticly] Who?
Promo: Are the fans clapping or booing?
ED: [Eyes glued to the screen] Who cares! This Nikki chick is better than a Mr. Chew’s Asian Beaver flick!
[Falling to one knee, The Preacher gives Nikki the golf clap and as she bends over dangling her goodies for the people at home, he then points to the curtain with his bible cueing the pyrotechnics.]
[BOOM!]
Promo: WOW! What an explosion!
ED: Forget about the explosion on the stage, I’m about the one I just had in my pants. Hey Paul, do you have a dollar?
Paul: [Digging in his pockets] Sure! What for?
ED: For Nikki! This girl is built like a brick shit house!
[The aftermath of the blast triggers a cloud of smoke and walking out onto center stage with his regional championship around his waist, Orge Lambart plays to the applauds of his fans.]
Crowd: Orge! Orge! Orge!
[With Nikki in doggie style position and the preacher pretending to film the footage, the champion motions for his team to head to ringside.]
Acorn: [Pointing at Nikki] You’re whore!
Nikki: [Talk to the hand motion] Are you going to let him talk to me like that baby?
Orge: [Shrugging off the question] Just stick to the plan Nikki.
Crowd: Orge! Orge! Orge!
Promo: Acorn is clearly frustrated and if this is any indication of how he’s going to handle his composure in this match, he’s already done.
ED: I hate Randy Acorn because he’s such an arrogant prick, but if you just lost a piece of ass like Nikki and had a chance to beat up the person who took her away from you, tell me you wouldn’t react the same exact way. [Waving the dollar] Hey sweet tits, I got something for you.
Promo: Eric please!
[Now at ringside, Nikki gives Orge a kiss, and before getting into the ring, she asks him to slap her on the ass for good luck.]
[SLAP!]
Nikki: [Playful giggle] hehehehhehe!
Promo: Is that really necessary?
ED: Absolutely!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Promo: Well both men are in the ring, Orge has relinquished his championship belt, the referee turns to signal for the bell, and here we GO!
[Circling the ring, Acorn can’t get close enough for a collar tie as Lambart keeps him at bay with a series of snapping jabs. Randy brings up his hands but Orge goes low with a few UFC style leg kicks. Alternating up and down, Acorn backs up into the corner and seeking asylum, goes under the top ropes, ordering the referee to back Lambart up.]
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: Shaking off the sting, Acorn limps around the ring and in my opinion he’s got to figure out just how to get passed this stifling defense of the champion’s.
Crowd: [A faint cry from the ringside area.] Hey Randy, go back to dirty Jersey!
Randy: SHUT UP!
Crowd: [BOO!]
ED: Just looking into Randy’s eyes, I think he’s finally figured out how to deal with this seemingly impenetrable guard.
[Shaking out his bruised leg, Acorn circles the logo one more time and Orge reels with a round house that misses!]
Orge: [Crippling to both knees] ARGH!
Promo: OH! Chop block by Acorn and the dam has broken!
ED: I told you so!
Promo: When did I ever doubt you?
[With Orge grounded, Randy transitions into an ankle lock, but realizing he’s too close, to the ropes drags the champion back into the center of the ring. Going old school, Acorn fastens on a Brazilian arm bar and the referee instantly looks in for a submission.]
Referee: [Playing to Ogre] Do you want to submit?
Orge: [Through gritted teeth.] NO!
Promo: Moving towards the ropes Acorn yanks the champion back into center of the ring before he can take hold of the ropes and pulling back, Randy appears to be in great position.
ED: Acorn sure knows his submissions and if Orge can’t get to the ropes really quick, I think his title could slip from his hands.
Randy: [Yanking back] Ask him ref!
Orge: AAAH!!!!
Referee: Do you want to give? I’ll end it right now; all you have to do is say the word.
Orge: [Pushing the referee back trying to get to the ropes.] NO!
Promo: Orge is inching towards the bottom nylon and Acorn is struggling with all his might to prevent the hold from being broken.
ED: He’s going to get there!
[With the referee check to see if Orge is ready to call it quits, Nikki pushes the ropes forward and grabbing hold of the nylon, the man in stripes doesn’t see a thing. Calling for the submission to be broken, a furious Acorn pounds his forearm across the chest of the champion.]
Promo: Acorn is livid and pulling Lambart from the canvas tosses the champion into the corner with a deadening thud!
ED: Acorn Express coming full steam ahead!
[THUD!]
Crowd: [OH!]
Promo: Moving out of the way in the nick of time, Lambart avoids the running clothesline and oh no – The Preacher just slid in a steel chair!
ED: I think Acorn had the wind knocked out of him.
[Locking on like a pit bull from behind, Orge unloads with German suplex onto the logo! Again! Again! The fourth one dumps the challenger neck first onto the illegal steel chair and going for the 1… 2… 3… win…]
Crowd: [OH!]
Promo: Acorn kicks out and this one’s going to continue.
ED: Randy’s head has to be a jumbled up can of alphabet soup and Randy is looking to spell belly to belly!
Crowd: WOW!
ED: What a move by a resurgent champion.
[Reverse chin lock slows the pace but easily putting his foot on the ropes, the referee doesn’t allow the pace to be stalled for too long.]
Referee: Release the hold Orge! 1... 2… 3…
[Finally breaking the hold at the count of THREE Orge continues his UFC style attack with a series of karate kicks to his opponent’s back. Slumping forward and onto the ropes, Orge applies an illegal choke clearly frustrated with the endurance and resolve of the challenger. Pushing Lambart back into the center of the ring, the referee warns him for a second time to listen to his count and as Orge argues with the man in stripes…]
Promo: Hey what’s he doing?
ED: The referee can’t see!
[THUMP!]
Randy: [After being hit in the head with the concrete bible] GAH!
[Falling flat on his back, Acorn’s leg snaps out from under the weight of his body leaving him looking like a chalk outline.]
Promo: Come on referee, can’t you see the man was just struck in the head with a bible?!
The Preacher: [Pointing the bible] Cover him!
ED: The referee drops down into position for the count.
Referee: One… two… THREE!!!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
ED: Hey! That’s not a fall!
Promo: Aparently it is Eric and Orge Lambart has defeated Randy Acorn once again with the help of the damn preacher!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Referee: [Waving off the count]
ED: Wait a minute Paul, the referee is saying Acorn’s foot was on the ropes and he is motioning for the match to be restarted!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Turning around, Orge adamantly protests the call and not wanting to waste time, goes to work with a series of stomps to a still half conscious Acorn.]
Promo: Body slam in the center of the ring by the champion and oh boy, he’s looking to climb the turnbuckles!
ED: This is a very risky move for Orge who should be concentrating on keep the ground pressure going as opposed to these high flying stunts.
[Now perched on the top turnbuckle, Orge leaps backwards with a slow moonsault and hitting the canvas face first, MISSES THE MOVE!]
Promo: Acorn slumps over draping his limp arm across the champion’s chest.
ED: THREE!!!
Referee: 1…
Crowd: 2…
Crowd: 3!!!
[As the place starts to boo the referee looks up and signals...]
Referee: TWO! Shoulder off the canvas only two!
Promo: What a display of heart by both Randy Acorn and Orge Lambart!
ED: Acorn is empting the tank with hard lefts to the face of the champion and Nikki is banging the apron telling her man to fight off the barrage!
[Rotating Orge to his feet, Acorn jams his head between his thighs and pulling back on his tights, crinkles Orge’s spinal chord like an accordion with a sit down pile driver. Pushing the shoulders of the champion down for the 1… 2… 3… Orge barely gets off the canvas forcing the referee to continue to match.]
Promo: I don’t think I have ever seen Randy Acorn or Orge Lambart dig down like this before in my life!
ED: I’m really surprised neither man has broken, at this point, and ink it’s going to come down to an outside factor before this one finally ends.
Promo: That’s something I would hate to see.
[On the outside, Nikki takes the bible from The Preacher and from the apron, motions to Orge that she has a plan. Randy doesn’t take notice and tossing Orge into the ropes with an Irish whip, here comes the champion on the rebound!]
Promo: Randy launches into a high knee but Orge ducks the move.
[CRACK!]
Orge: UGH!
Promo: As the champion was rebounding off the ropes I don’t believe it but Nikki just hit Orge with that bible! The Preacher is shocked!
ED: She’s one stone cold bitch and HEY NIKKI… I STILL HAVE THAT DOLLAR!
Promo: Wobbling into the center of the ring, Acorn is there to greet a woozy champion with a roll of the dice right onto the discarded steel chair; and he’s hooking the leg for the 123 pin!
Crowd: [Silent and stunned]
ED: Acorn looks up at the referee with joy in his eyes.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Promo: The bell has rung and I don’t believe it but Orge Lambart has lost his regional championship because of that charlatan Nikki!
Michael Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the bout and new Bad ASS Championship Wrestling regional champion! “The Newark Bad-boy” Randy A-corn!
Promo: This crowd is emotionless, and out onto the apron comes the preacher screaming bloody murder and OH! Nikki goes low on the religious madman with a fist to the balls!
ED: Hey Paul, take this dollar back. E.D.
Promo: You had a chance of heart?
ED: Hell yeah… E.D. likes them tough, but that Nikki chick is biker tough and that’s an entirely different ball game if you know what I mean.
[Tumbling off the apron from the testicular throb, The Preacher continues to roll on the small mats while Nikki brings in a strand of barbwire. Handing it to Randy, the new champion tightly wraps it around Orge’s head and after pile driving him onto the open chair, Acorn stomps the folds straight.]
Promo: Randy Acorn has thrown the referee out of the ring and he’s picking up the steel chair. Lying lifelessly with blood pulsing from his forehead is Orge Lambart is now quivering from the crown of thorns pile driver.
ED: Acorn doesn’t appear to be done and look at Nikki begging the Newark Badboy to disfigure Lambart!
Promo: Come on Randy, you got the title and the girl, what more do you want?
[Raising the steel over his head, Randy Acorn begins to hit Orge Lambart’s barbwire encased head with not one, two, three or four chair shots.]
Crowd: 5… 6… 7… 8… 9… TEN!
Promo: Christ all mighty!
Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!
ED: And Paul, the only reason Randy stopped there was because the chair was completely broken off the hinges.
Referee: [Seeing Orge go into convulsions.] Get me a medic! GET ME A MEDIC!
[With the barbwire embedded into the gimp mask of Lambart, Nikki prances around the former champion’s lifeless body with the championship belt over her head. Straddling the fallen champion, Randy instructs Nikki to place the title around his waist.]
Promo: I remember at Last Rites when the roles were reversed. Only two months ago it was Randy Acorn with the crown of thorns and Orge with the title, but you could just tell from Acorn’s demeanor inside the ring tonight that he had an ace up his sleeve.
ED: From the amount of blood coming from underneath the mask, Orge Lambart is most likely disfigured or even worse, done with his professional wrestling career. Tonight we saw how much Randy Acorn wanted revenge and the only question I have is… HOW MUCH MONEY IS IT GOING TO TAKE TO GET NIKKI TO GIVE ME A LAP DANCE?
Promo: You’re truly digusting!
ED: [Shrugs] E.D. don’t care.
Promo: Folks, it’s time to take a break, but when we return it’s going to be our co-main event when BACw Tag Team champion the Beautiful People go one on one with The Superheroes. We’ll see you in a few.
[Now at the top of the ramp, we fade on a blood splattered face of Randy Acorn.]
Continue show HERE!
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