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Look Who's Talk: [Part 1]
[A figure who is obviously Particle Man by his size, but not his mannerisms, sits shrouded in darkness appears on the video screen. The lighting equipment points behind him in a manner that he appears to be a silhouette. For some strange reason he is eating a hot dog.]
Jim Lewis: Hello New York... Jim Lewis here and it seems as if Mr. Batee did not take the warning seriously; nor did many of you I see. Remember, whether you like it or not, there will be people hurt by the end of the show! In fact, it's already started.
[The figure picks up the camera. He swings in around to reveal a BACW cameraman lying bloody and unconscious on the floor below.]
Jim Lewis: Heh... heh...
[Jim Lewis lets a slight chuckle. Even in its low volume the madness in his laughter can be heard]
Jim Lewis: Remember, hurt or be hurt, kill or be killed, prove what you deserve.
Opening With Host Paul Prominiski: [Part 2]
[Play promo package.]
E-
[Music riff]
Wrrrestling! [Echo]
[Music riff]
Dot [Echo]
[Music riff]
Org!
[Music riff]
[Cue in video clip and ignite pyrotechnics.]
[BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
[Ringside.]
Paul Prominski: Hello everyone and welcome to BACW's TVMA live from the Nassau Coliseum located in the nuclear glow of Long Island, New York!!!
Crowd: [YEAH!] Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
Promo: I'm your Host Paul Prominski and from the opening scene, it looks like Particle Man's alter ego has completely snapped! But even though that lunatic is running around the arena, he's antics simply can't overshadow one of the most epic match ups of all time! Yes sir-ree daddy! Darrel Besolve versus The Megafreak "part three" and Edgar Morbis is guaranteeing his Freak will not leave this arena with a loss!
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: In addition to our co-main event, Ric Ulfric will lock horns with the Canadian Wrestle-God "Absolute" Lee Riel and there are rumors floating around that this might be Lee Riel's last match in BACW due to a contractual dispute with management. And, if that wasn't big enough, BACW Heavyweight champion Chris Ross will go one on one against former WeWA World champion Ric Righteous!
Crowd: Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!
Promo: But before we jump into the first match, let's give it up for my Co-Host Easy "E" Eric Danger!
E.D: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Thank God you ran out of breath because there are only so many ways I can touch myself without having a major issue in my pants.
[Adjusting his package, Eric goes to shake Paul's hand and our Host makes a sour face.]
Promo: [Rolling his eyes] I wouldn't touch that hand if I was hanging off a 1000 foot cliff.
E.D: [Smelling the palm] Sort of smells like poontang.
Promo: That's complete uncalled for.
E.D: Hey, I can't help it if my mother taught me to wipe from ass to balls.
Promo: [Shaking his head] Something tells me this is going to be a long night.
E.D: [Still sniffing his hand] I really need to talk to my doctor about this odor.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
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