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NYS Heavyweight Championship : [Part 3]
Triple Six Trek (c)
Vs.
Jeremy King
Ring Announcer Michael Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Nassau Coliseum and welcome to T-V-M-A!
Crowd: [POP!]
Stuffher: Our first contest is for the New York State Championship!
[“Peyote Heeling” Br. Robbie Robinson hits the PA System as Lone Wolf comes out motioning for the fans to get on their feet.]
Crowd: [Stomping]
Stuffher: Now coming down the isle, from Ozarks and weighing in at 205 pounds! Ladies and gentlemen, "BACW's head of Security" - "Lone Wolf" - Jeremy King!
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Jeremy runs down the ramp and slides into the ring throwing his arms up into the air.]
Crowd: You suck! You suck! You suck!
Jeremy King: [Italian salute]
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: It appears the fan here in New York hate Jeremy.
E.D: Wonderful observation Einstein!
Promo: I'm just saying.
E.D: [Holding up his stinky hand] Talk to the hand.
Promo: [Holding his nose] I would rather not.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: And his opponent, coming down the isle, he is the New York State Heavyweight champion; Triple Six Trek!
Promo: Sliding under the ropes and stomping into the center of the ring, Trek raises the title with one hand while bouncing on the bottom rope.
E.D: Jeremy and Trek square off trading right hands.
Referee: [Motioning for the match to start] Ring the bell! Ring the bell!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Promo: Jeremy gets the best of Trek taking him down with a double leg take down followed by mounted punches.
E.D: Trek immediately gets to the ropes, and forcing the hold to be broken, King looks like a man possessed!
[Rubbing his chin and shaking off the impact, the champion gets to his feet and diving in, engages in a push, and pull collar tie. Rake of the eyes by King translates into an open hand uppercut but Trek rifles a nasty chop in return.]
Crowd: [OH!]
E.D: King reels back and Trek closes in looking for a belly-to-belly suplex.
Promo: Counter by King launches the champion onto his back and skidding across the canvas, Triple Six Trek has no solution to this opponent's offense.
[Getting up a little slower than the last time, Trek tries his luck again but this time, Trek misses a wild haymaker from left field. Locking his arms around the challenger's waist, Trek goes for a German suplex but the move is countered with a quick go behind.]
Jeremy King: [AAAAHHHH!!!!]
[BOOM!]
Promo: German suplex by the challenger connects and the champion is in trouble.
E.D: So am I if I can't get this smell off my hands.
Promo: Would you use some Purell already!
E.D: I DID!!!!
Promo: Wait a minute folks, where is King going?
[Now on the outside with the champion knocked out on the canvas, Trek goes under the ring to retrieve a weapon.]
Crowd: [BOO!]
Jeremy King: [SHUT UP!]
Crowd: [Louder BOO!]
E.D: Onto the apron with a steel chair goes King, and why the hell is he going up to the top ropes?
Promo: I'm not positive but I'm sure we're going to find out in just a few seconds.
[With Triple Six Trek lying in the dead center of the ring, King presses the steel to this chest and arching backwards, tries an extreme Moonsault.]
Crowd: [OOOOOOOO!]
[CRACK!]
[ThUD!]
Crowd: [WOW!]
Promo: OH MY GOD!!!!!!
E.D: Steel chair Moonsault hits the mark and here's the cover!
Referee: 1... 2....
Crowd: [THREE!]
Triple Six Trek: [Clearing his shoulder] ARGH!
Promo: NO!
Referee: TWO! Only two continue the match!
Jeremy King: [Slapping his hands together] One, two, three! Come on referee!
Referee: [Defiant] TWO!
Promo: King's protests go on deaf ears!
E.D: What?
Promo: Forget it!
[Getting his opponent in a single under hook DDT and dropping the champion face first onto his knee, Trek pops up right into a double knee chest breaker!
Crowd: [WOW!]
Promo: “Ozarks Breaker”
E.D: If the Purell didn't work I don't think this Ozarks stuff would either!
Promo: [Blank stare] ...
Referee: 1... 2...
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: Ring the bell!
Promo: Folks we have a brand new NYS champion!
E.D: [Picking his nose] I always wondered what his finisher was called.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the bout and "NEW" New York State Heavyweight champion! "The Head of Security" - Lone Wolf - Jeremy King!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: Snatching the title and rolling under the bottom ropes, Triple Six Trek can do nothing but watch as Mr. Batee's personal security guard walks off with the victory.
E.D: You know, if I knew my balls smelled this bad, I would have never adjusted.
Promo: So you're not going to comment on the new champion? Smelly balls is all you have to offer me huh?
E.D: [Sniffing between his fingers] It's the equivalent of dirty pussy.
Promo: You can't say that!!!
E.D: Sorry...
Under Age Drinking: [Part 4]
[As E.D. continues to ponder why testicles sometime stink like his ass, the camera pans to the crowd showing the smiling and excited faces of BACW fans.]
Fan: B-A-C-BLAH!!!!
Crowd: [Oh!]
[Suddenly, a man on camera holding a beer loses control and starts vomiting violently. The camera quickly pans away to other fans.]
Fan #2: Hi... oh my BLAH!
E.D: BACW lightweights!
Promo: I think something's wrong E.D
E.D: Yeah! That punk's puke smells worse than my fingers!
[The vomiting episode apparently is not incidental, because the next shot is also of another man vomiting! The next shot, and then the next, like a domino effect many of the fans start vomiting. Just as another BACW fan loses his lunch, Jim Lewis appears on the video screen once again.]
Jim Lewis: You remember when I said that perhaps the concession stand worker’s attack on a BACW cameraman would be the reason they would be spared tonight. Perhaps that isn’t the reason at all. Perhaps someone let a little ipecac get into the beer supply. Particle Man always told you kids of the dangers of drinking. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Well, it looks like I’m scheduled to appear after the next match live and in living color.
[Fade to a star swipe.]
Promo: Is Particle Man responsible for all of this?
E.D: Are you blind? That's not Particle Man, it's Jim Lewis.
Promo: Are you crazy?
E.D: No but this smell on my hands is driving me nuts! I can't stop sniffing it! I mean it smells horrible but I just can't get enough. God I miss my first girlfriend.
Promo: [Speechless] .... Let's take a break!
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