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Kimo Therapy: [Part 5]
[Mr. Batee is in his office working on paperwork when suddenly the door swings open and in walks, none other than Kimo Newton who is shivering and twitching. Mr. Batee looks up and raises an inquisitive eyebrow.]
Mr. Batee: Kimo?!
Kimo: Y.. Y... Y.. Y.. Yo Batee.
Mr. Batee: Jesus on a pair of Popsicle sticks, you look like hell son!
Kimo: Yo d.. d.. d.. d.. dog! We need ta talk!
[Kimo slams the door shut and Mr. Batee sets his pen down crossing his arms.]
Mr. Batee: Alright Kimo...
Kimo: Ba.. Ba... Ba.. Ba...
Mr. Batee: What is it?
Kimo: Ba.. Ba... Ba.. Ba...
Mr. Batee: Why are you twitching like that?
Kimo: Ba.. Ba... Ba.. Ba...
Mr. Batee: Good Lordy! That stuttering can't be natural boy!
[Kimo sits in a chair in front of Mr. Batee's desk. His eyes are as wide as half dollars and he is shaking like a heroin addict.]
Kimo: Ba... Ba... Ba... Batee... I haven't been able to sleep in the past week at all!!! I'm going on 3 hours of sleep here and about 20 p...p...p... pots of coffee in the last 48 hours!!!
Mr. Batee: What?! Holy Juan Valdez! Twenty pots of coffee?! Are you out of your mind boy?! Jesus Kimo, you'll give yourself a god dang heart attack?!
Kimo: Ba.. Ba... Ba.. Ba...
[BOOM!]
[Kimo slams his fist in the table.]
Kimo: Ba.. Ba... Ba.. Ba... Batee! I didn't come here ta ta... ta... ta... talk about my health!!! I came hurr ta talk about a whole different issue!
Mr. Batee: Well Kimo if it's about the toes, I already told you...
Kimo: Sh... sh... sh.. SHUT IT BATEE!
Mr. Batee: Now hold on there Mr. Fignewton!
Kimo: N.. N.. N.. No you h... h... hold on Batee! Dog what tha hell are ya doing mayne?! Ross is now tha top dog of the federation? How tha fuck could ya let this shit happen?!
[Before Mr. Batee can't even respond as a shivering Kimo continues ranting.]
Kimo: Do... do... do... dog it's like yo tryin ta let Ross win! Fo tha love of god ya put tha title on tha line in a match that wasn't originally a BACW title match... WHAT WERE YA THINKIN?! And now ya bring back Ric Rightous?! THAT IS WHAT ROSS WANTS!!!
Mr. Batee: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KIMO WOULD YA SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE!? First of all, I have a match with Mr. Ross next month and as you can see from paperwork here on my desk, I'm making this match for BACW's Heavyweight title! Now Kimo, boy, when I'm done with your friend Chris Ross, he's going to be nothing more than a piece of fried coconut shrimp on a stick. All washed up, and no place to go! Batee Vs. Ross for BACW's championship belt; Burnt to a Crisp and I'm guaranteeing victory! Now what you think about that son?
Kimo Newton: [Looking around and rubbing his chin] Yooze as BACW champ? Damn dawg!
NAWA International Championship : [Part 6]
Ric Righteous (c)
Vs.
Chris Ross
Promo: Folks we are back from the break, and as we get set to greet the brand new BACW Heavyweight champion, we are also bracing ourselves for the return of Ric Righteous.
E.D: Righteous is a supreme wrestler who can out wrestle anyone with a great amateur background but prefers short cuts at times.
Promo: I agree for one reason, in the past, Righteous gets in the minds of all his opponents. Stepping outside the ring to break an opponent's momentum he is capable of using chairs and anything else to cripple an opponent.
E.D: Bottomline is Ric's will is too strong to lose to a guy like Chris Ross.
Promo: To that I will add, I have no doubt that Righteous will look dominant to make a statement to everyone in the back that he is the man to be feared.
[Suddenly the lights go out in the arena.]
E.D: Speaking of fear... Here comes BACW's resident lunatic!
PA: The name is Chris Ross... DON'T YOU FORGET IT!!!
Crowd: [POP!]
[The words come across the oval-tron as a huge explosion happens and the lights start to flicker. "Phenomenon" by Thousand Foot Krutch then starts to play.]
If You're Like Us
Calling All Riders.
Roll Up Beside Us.
No Place to hide us.
All Freedom Fighters Lets unite Us
Switch on your nitrous.
And LET'S GO!
[The fans go wild as Chris Ross appears on stage with his BACW heavyweight championship held down by his waist.]
Promo: When Chris Ross first came into the BACW no one gave him a shot. I myself didn't think he'd ever make it into the big leagues.
[Raising his title over his head an orange explosion happens. Ross walks to the ring clearly with a smile on his face.]
Promo: Never have I seen Ross come to the ring with a smile on his face.
E.D.: I bet you his hand smells worse than mine.
Destination for Navigation.
Man up ya stations
feel the sensation.
Surround invasion with communication
Move Quick
We might avoid contamination
[Climbing into the ring Ross makes his way to one of the top turn buckles and he raises his BACW title over his head causing another orange explosion.]
Down Here comes the sound
Everyone Pound your feet to this phenomenon.
Now let's make it loud
And show them how you move to this phenomenon.
Roll! open your soul!
Maybe lose control inside of this Phenomenon.
Just let yourself go
And let everyone know you move to this Phenomenon.
Stuffher: In the ring now from Honolulu Hawaii he is your BACW Heavyweight Champion! Weighing in at 300 lbs... He is your Hawaiian Phenomenon... He is "Krazy" Chris Ross!
[The crowd goes wild as Ross grabs a microphone.]
Ross: First and foremost, I would like to say something to all those who doubted me... IN YOUR FACE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!
Promo: That was constructive.
[Crowd Pop.]
Ross: Yeah! That's right! Everyone tried to say that I wouldn't do it. You even said I was at the end of my career - Promo!
E.D: He's talking to you Paul.
Ross: Well what now! Here I stand as your champion... No wait... As Your Phenomenonal Champion!
Crowd: [POP!]
[Ross smiles basking in his glory.]
Ross: I told everyone that I was the real champion and if what happened at the last show isn't proof that I'm the real champion then I don't know what is?! I did something that no one else has ever been able to do and that is end The Spectre!!! I rid the BACW of the purple haired whacko! He was living in a false reign! I was the real champion! Did The Spectre ever have to go through half the shit that I had to go through?
Crowd: NO!!!
Ross: Did he have to endure the fact no one knew him?! Did he have to be told he'd never amount to shit?
Ross: NO!!!
[Ross shivers demonically before he continues talking.]
Ross: There was a reason I've done half the shit I've done... Including attack Mr. Batee's wife... And that simple reason is because People Forgot About Me... For far too long I was in this federation for people to not know who I am!!! And now that I stand on top, nothing is going to stop me! ...
Crowd: Ross! Ross! Ross!
Ross: NOTHING!!!
[Ross walks over and looks directly into one of the cameras.]
Ross: And one last thing... Righteous! I've been waiting for you! You tried to put me away for good years ago! But tonight... I'm going to leave you in a pool of your own blood! These fans don't need a Messiah! They need a Phenomenon! You may have tried to make them forget me... But they all know... That the name is Chris Ross... So get your ass out here so you can never FORGET IT!!!
[With those words being said, Ross drops the microphone and ...]
[BOOM!]
Crowd: [BOO!]
[On the Ovaltron various video highlights of Ric Righteous appears…Righteous beating the hell out of Eddie Outlaw so bad that he had to be taken away on a stretcher and retired, Righteous making Mike Cavenaugh quit by tapping out in front of millions of viewers, then adding more insult to injury by putting Cavenaugh through 3 flaming tables further injuring him so badly he had to retire. Righteous laughing and looking at the frustration on David Obsidian Vance’s face as he pins him for the 9th time without a loss. Next the pain and embarrassment of Lee Riel as we saw Righteous pinning him again and defeating him time after time. Highlights continue as we see Righteous winning multiple times the WeWA World and BACW Heavyweight Championships, and just about every Championship belt the WeWA has ever had, and the most recent highlight of Ric Righteous’ triumphant return and beating Chris Ross in record time to win the NAWA International Championship.]
Promo: Folks, it's my personal opinion that we are minutes away from something very special.
E.D: It's certainly an impressive record of accomplishment we are looking at.
[The lights go out filling the arena with darkness. Smoke appears in the entranceway while dim gold light starts to circle the entranceway. Without warning the entire entranceway and ramp now burst into flames for 4 seconds. The heat is felt through the crowd but the flames are not high enough and the people are not close enough to be burnt or overcome by the heat.]
[Suddenly without warning, a rather cold smoky breeze makes it way down the ramp and all around the wrestler’s entrance.]
["Jesus Christ Superstar" comes on and is now being played throughout the area.]
[Something now appears in the entranceway. Once the smoke has cleared a little it reveals the silhouette of the Messiah. He stands there absolutely still absorbing the huge heel pop looking as cocky and as arrogant as only Ric Righteous can. The crowd has started to applaud louder and louder. The curtain rises and there stands “The Messiah” Ric Righteous. He stands there in all his majestic glory, decked out in a hooded red silk robe which has a large black sequined cross embroidered on the middle of the robe that extents from his upper chest to his knees of the rob which length wise comes down to his ankles. Righteous has his right hand touching his left shoulder and his left hand touching his right shoulder where his newly made NAWA International title rests. (Righteous were not dare adorn the same belt that Chris Ross had. This one is bigger, better and appropriate for someone of Righteous statue and the importance of the belt. 20 pounds of gold and his name encrusted in diamonds just looking at the belt on Righteous’ shoulder you can tell things have already changed for the better. Righteous stands there motionless his head is slightly bowed.]
[The announcer asks that all in attendance as well as the millions around the world watching at home now stand and bow their heads in a moment of silence and respect and for YOUR Messiah.]
[This message is now being spoken and heard through the arena]
“Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom for the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of “THE MESSIAH” ... that will be established. Alas...RIC RIGHTEOUS has once again risen .”
[After the crown stands (some members of the crowd along with members of the security and various federation personnel get on theirs knees. After a 15 second pause Righteous lifts his head and opens his eyes. He now receives a thunderous heel reaction from the crowd. The crowd has gone absolutely berserk because the most hated man in wrestling history and the man who delivers what he says he will do had returned! The all stand up and give a standing ovation shouting Righteous, Righteous, Righteous.]
E.D: If I had a beer it would warm.
Promo: It is quite an entrance.
[Pyrotechnics start going off up and down the ramp and what seems like a million sparks of light drop from the ceiling like rain drops. Righteous motions in the back for someone to come and join him. And out steps Sexy Sasha the Brazilian bombshell. Decked out in a low cut and upper thigh length dress with exposed ample cleavage from her 38 dd breast. She is also wearing six-inch black pumps she stands besides Righteous. Together they make their way down the aisle to the ring. The referee lifts up the ring ropes for Righteous and Sasha and they enter the squared circle.]
[Righteous starts to takes off his robe with help from Sasha and begins to flex his muscles in front of the crowd but not for them as you can tell by his narcissistic attitude. His impressive Adonis like body is driving every woman in the area wild. The men go wild looking at Sexy Sasha as she takes her hand and moves her long black hair with streak of blond back so that it flows freely around her pretty face. Her light caramel complexion exposed a beauty most woman wish they could dream off never mind have.]
Stuffher: He is accompanied by the very sexy Sasha…Ladies and Gentleman, we request that at this time, you stop standing and all get on your knees and bow down Your Messiah. For it he has come as it was written. Standing six foot five, 287 pounds of chiseled steel and sex appeal, he hails from the City of Angels, Los Angeles, California. He is the most decorated man in the history of Professional Wrestling, a former World Tag Team Champion, Former World TV Champion, Former WeWA International Champion and multiple time World Heavyweight Champion who broke and holds the current record for longest World Heavyweight Title Reign.
Crowd: Ass-hoooole! Ass-hoooole! Ass-hoooole!
Stuffher: He is the reigning undisputed NAWA International Champion of the World, the standard bearer by which every champion is judged, living legend, he doesn’t like you, he doesn’t need you, YOU NEED HIM. Introducing to you, the one and only true Messiah of Pro Wrestling….Ric Righteous!!!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
[Crowd starts to chant as both Ric Righteous and Chris Ross both get into the ring.]
Promo: The crowd is already on their feet in anticipation of this match up!
E.D: Well I hope Ric realizes this match could get really violent.
Promo: For once I wouldn't mind seeing Ross win.
[As both men lock up, Righteous is quick to push Ross into the corner where he follows up with a running clothesline. Ric grabs the tag rope that's hanging on the steel post and starts to choke Chris with it.]
E.D: Righteous is foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog!
Promo: This is insane! Break the hold!
E.D: Righteous grabs Ross by the hair and just throws him face first into the turnbuckle.
Promo: Ross has taken a beating but continues to show his endurance by not backing down.
Promo: Ric collects Chris and reaching back, misses a discus punch, and look out, Ross returns fire with a low blow.
E.D: Ooooooh...
Promo: Chris does a knee lift into a stunned Ric Righteous and Ross now calls for one of the seconds to toss him a steel chair!
[CLANG!]
Ric Righteous: [UGH!]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
[....smashing it over the back of Ric, the challenger aches in pain.]
Crowd: [POP!]
[The impact leaves a big red mark and placing Ric's head on the logo, Ross climbs to the second rope and makes the sign of the cross.]
Promo: This is going to hurt.
E.D: Ross is taking too much time!
Crowd: Jump! Jump! Jump!
[BOOM!]
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: Amazing leg drop!
Crowd: 1... 2... 3...
Referee: TWO!
E.D: Man that was close!
Promo: I think Ross injured his back.
[Injured, both men lie there for about 40 seconds as the crowd tries to encourage Chris to get up to his feet.]
Promo: Both men are starting to get up at about the same time.
Crowd: [Stomping]
Promo: Righteous is almost there...
Crowd: [OH!]
Promo: Football tackle to the midsection of Ross and the impact takes both men right into the corner.
E.D: This might be the end to Ric's day.
Crowd: [POP!]
Referee: 1... 2... 3....
Promo: Tumbling to the outside, they are going at it tooth and nail as the referee begins to count them out.
Referee: 4... 5... 6....
E.D: Ric!!! Watch the count!
Referee: 7.... 8.... 9....
Promo: Righteous unloads with his finisher snapping Ross' neck backwards.
Crowd: [NO!]
[As the camera zooms in you can see the referee competing the count.]
Referee: TEN!
E.D: It's over...
Promo: Righteous rolls back into the ring but the question is, did he make it on time?
E.D: I couldn't tell!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: ...because both men were counted out, this match has been considered, a draw! This means, still NAWA's International Champion; Ric Righteous!
Promo: What a fantastic match!
E.D: Hogwash! Righteous was robbed!
Promo: Righteous? What about Ross?
E.D: What about me? Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!
Promo: You're an ass and we need to go to break... but when we return... it's going to be Particle Man taking on Pretty Pete in an all or nothing match! We'll see you right after a word from our sponsors.
Body Double: [Part 7]
[Jim Lewis appears on the screen again.]
Jim Lewis: Well, it looks like it’s time for my debut. I didn’t have time to pick any music, but I think you folks are gonna love the light show that’s part of my entrance. Hell, if Mr. Batee likes it, maybe he can sign me instead of Particle Man and we can do this every week! Anyway, his friends and family may be happy to know that the man working the lights will be spared for tonight.
[After a brief chuckle, the lights go out completely in the arena.]
Promo: Folks we are back and to tell you the truth, I a bit scared right now.
E.D: If that touches me I'm using THIS!
Promo: Is that a gun?
E.D: Damn skippy!
Promo: Where did you get that from?
E.D: Mike Cavenaugh... He told me to shoot first, and get a lawyer second.
[A lone spotlight points to a fan in the audience for a few seconds. He hikes up his pants and rips off some duct tape that was attached to his inner thigh and has something in his hand that he points towards the ring.]
[STATIC]
[The show abruptly cuts to a commercial interlude advertising the upcoming BACW live events.]
Commerical: [Part 6]
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