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Part 2 - Driving Mr. Batee
[Play promo package.]
E-
[Music riff]
Wrrrestling! [Echo]
[Music riff]
Dot [Echo]
[Music riff]
Org!
[Music riff]
[Cue in video clip and ignite pyrotechnics.]
[BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Paul Prominski: Hello everyone and welcome to the TD Banknorth Garden located in right here in heart of downtown Boston! We are sponsored by NeWA, eWrestling.Org and Mr. Batee, and I'm your host Paul Prominiski AKA The Promo Machine! My God do we have a awesome main event for you here tonight as the Super Heroes will get a shot a the brand new BACW Tag Team champions, Chris Ross & Derek Parks! But before we start to talk about our fantastic main event, it’s my delight to introduce to you my special guest Co-Host, “The Knightmare” Todd Knight!
Crowd: [Background cheers]
Promo: How ya been TK?
Todd Knight: First of all, if you ever call me TK again, I’ll take my fork, and jam it between your eyes! [Standing up] BAC "Fucking" W!!! The Knightmare has returned!
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Promo: So does this mean you’ve signed a new contract with BACW?
TK: What it means is that, you’re the monkey and I’m guy who’s going to be throwing you the peanuts tonight.
Promo: All I asked is if you officially signed a BACW contract.
TK: No Paul, I haven’t sign with BACW and the reason is because I’m tired of beating up losers like Spectre.
Promo: Didn’t he toss you off a scaffold twice?
TK: You’re on thin ice Paul! Another comment like that and you’re going to be Shushi! Capeesh?
Promo: [Rolling eyes] I understand... Folks hold the phone because it appears we already have a Chris Ross sighting! I have just been told in my headset, that Chris Ross has arrived here at the Garden, and like last week, he’s once again, looking for Mr. Batee! Let’s go to the back and see if he has made any progress.
[Fading from inside the arena, the camera picks up Ross getting out of his rental with his tag team title slung over his broad shoulder. Reaching into his duffle bag, Chris pulls out what appears to be a can of spray paint, and shaking it up, he scans the lot from left to right. Finally stopping on a beautiful white limousine, Ross lets out a huge shit-eating grin.]
Chris Ross: Well, well, well... if it isn't the coward’s getaway car… [Shaking up the marble in the can.] I guess the first thing I should do this week, is take out his escape route.
[Placing the can down at his feet, Ross removes a steel pipe.]
Ross: [Pulling back the pipe] Batter-UP!
[SMASH!]
Crowd: [OH!]
[Proceeding to smash a window with one swift swing, Ross slowly walks around the whole limousine smashing out each and every window one by one. Finally reaching into Mr. Batee’s private vehicle through the broken glass, Ross pulls out a bottle of Jamaican rum from his portable bar.]
Ross: [Chuckling] Well at least the side bar is good!
[Guzzle! Guzzle Guzzle!]
[Ross continues to drink the rum and opening the door from the inside, brutally kicks it completely off its hinges. Placing the rum to the side, he proceeds to pull out a long switch blade knife.]
Ross: [Looking like Jack on The Shining] Heeeeere’s Rossy!
[PSSSSSSSSSSSSST]
[Slashing all four tires, Ross continues to drink Batee’s rum. Tossing the bottle through the front windshield Ross gears up for the finale.]
Ross: And now for the signature...
[Ross picks up the can of spray paint from the ground, and spraying the hood, the camera picks up the words "Don't You Forget It." Starting to initially walk away from the limo, Ross turns back towards the vehicle.]
Ross: Man, all this drinking has my bladder full. I wonder where there is a bathroom… [Sadistic smile] Here it is!
[ZIP!]
[Shake]
[Tinkle]
Crowd: [Laughter]
Ross: [Urinating into the limo] AAAAAHHHHHHH! That feels better! Now to find that pencil headed geek Batee, and so I can lead him right into my trap… There will be no more running tonight! It's time to pay the piper! AH- HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!
[Satisfied with his handiwork Ross zips up and storms into the arena with the title in his hands. Fading from the parking garage, the announcers are at a loss for words.]
Promo: I’m not really sure how to react to something of this nature. Destruction of personal property! Public urination! Has Chris Ross lost him mind?
TK: If that were me, I would stab Ross with my fork the first chance I got. In the forehead, ass, eye, arms, balls, legs! It wouldn't matter because that's my method of madness.
Promo: I hope you don't eat with that fork too.
TK: This fork is simply for pain because I'm the type of guy who's sending these bitches to hell and still praying to go to heaven.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Promo: Folks, our ring announcer has called for the bell, so let’s go up to the squared circle, for our opening introductions.
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Opening Match
Rick Ulfric
Vs.
Mike Sloan
Michael Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Boston, Massachusetts!
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Stuffher: And welcome to BACW’s T-V-M-A!
Crowd: [Louder pop!]
Stuffher: Our first contest is scheduled for one fall and will have a 20 minute time limit. Already in the ring, this is Rick Ulfric!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: This month, newcomer to BACW Mike Sloan questioned Rick Ulfirc about his violent past in BWA. He wanted Ulfric to remember the ultra violent days in what I preceived as an attempt to get Sloan away from the confort of Matt McClain.
TK: I caught that interview too and I'm not sure if Sloan should be digging into Rick's past like that. I mean, what if the guy was a cross dresser?
Promo: Or had a fetish for forks?
TK: [GASP!] Bite your tongue!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Promo: Speaking of crosses, it's time to make one right now, because that wind noise means the arrival of Mike Sloan in his BACW debut.
TK: I'm getting my fork ready!
[The airy, hollow voice penetrates the p.a. system brings about the boo birds as one of the most hated men in wrestling begins to make his way to the ring.]
This is what I become.....
[The voice is close to being recognizable, but at the same time it is unknown to us.]
My pain will become yours.....
[A dark figure is produced on the screen. Bright white lights flash behind him, illuminating his figure. And the first bass and acoustic riff begins to sound out.]
#You take a mortal man, #
[His blond hair on top is only a fraction of an inch long. You can see the places where he has been scared from multiple battles in his life.]
#And put him in control #
[His head begins to lift, so slightly that the only thing that is produced in the time is the top of a spike that comes from his eyebrow.]
#Watch him become a god,#
[A scar runs from his forehead lateral to his left ear It is so slight, because of the time and money that was spent to reduce the size.]
#Watch peoples heads a' roll #
[The first thing that is recognizable, the blue eyes. They hold more emotion than the face itself. They were once caring, but something has taken all that away. They are full of disdain and contempt now.]
RA: “He weighs in tonight at 245 pounds, and he is the former, TWO time heavyweight champion of the world. Ladies and gentlemen, this Mike SLOAN!!!!”
#A'roll...#
[The spot lights area towards the entrance ramp. The crowd jumps to its feet to see him again. The chorus hits the pa system and about that time a stray light catches a glimpse of the man we once knew far away from the ring, in the crowd. Standing like a monster, scared of nothing, he makes his movements to the ring.]
#Just like the Pied Piper Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes, Swaying to the Symphony... Of Destruction #
[His attire features two new things. He has donned a black shirt that states, in red lettering, Respect is not earned; It's Taken. The second item is a pair of thigh length, spandex shorts. Across the back it states, T D H. Down his left thigh the word that is stated is Scorned. Down his right thigh is the word, Disrespected;. A black towel covers his head so that no one can know who this is, if the piercing and the eyes didn't tell you who it was then you will have to wait.]
#Acting like a robot, #
[He makes his way to the ring side area, he places one foot on the step and reaches out his hand and grabs the ring post.]
#Its metal brain corrodes. #
[He pauses for the fans and then makes his way up the steps.]
#You try to take its pulse, #
[He walks the outer edge of the ring and places his back against the ropes and waits.]
#Before the head explodes. #
[As soon as this line hits his head launches back and the covering it tossed off. Revealing to the world that this man is Mike Sloan. ]
#Explodes... #
[The chorus hits again as he makes his way into the ring.]
#Just like the Pied Piper Led rats through the streets We dance like marionettes, Swaying to the Symphony... Of Destruction #
[He leans over and picks up his towel and hangs it on the far right turnbuckle.]
#The earth starts to rumble #
[The red insignia, TDH is embroider into it also.]
#World powers fall#
[He pulls his torso out of the shirt and tosses it to the floor.]
#A' warring for the heavens, #
[He places his back against the corner and stretches his back over the ropes, popping every vertebrate there.
[He stands a man with nothing to lose and everything to gain from this point on.]
Promo: What an entrance by Mike Sloan!
TK: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
Promo: Please Mr. Knight!
TK: [Chuckling] Seriously Promo, that entrance was a pay per view all in itself!
Promo: Don't hate, celebrate!
TK: Whatever!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Promo: Well Todd, despite your harsh words for Sloan's entrance, the referee has called for the bell, and here we GO!
[Coming to the center of the ring Sloan misses a wild haymaker and Rick takes advantage off the miscue by locking on a side suplex.]
Promo: Arching up, Sloan counters the side suplex with a back elbow to side of Ulfric's head! Again! Again!
TK: Ulfric's hold is finally broken!
[Sloan with a fireman's carry but Rick uses his 6th sense to re-counter with a reverse death valley driver!]
Crowd: [OH!]
Promo: Hook of the leg and the cover and the count.
Referee: 1.. 2..
Crowd: [Clapping!]
Referee: TWO! Only two!
Promo: So far it's been counter after counter but in the end, it's Ulfric's in control.
TK: How can a dude with one good eye be putting up a better fight than a man who two?
Promo: Irish whip into a spinning back fist leads to another 1.. 2.. 3...
Referee: NO!
Crowd: [Cheering]
TK: Sloan gets his shoulders off the canvas, and this one's going to continue!
Crowd: [Stomping]
[Into the corner with a thud goes Mike and following up with a series of bolo upper cuts, Ulfric pulls on the arm of Sloan looking to take the action into the opposite corner.]
Promo: Reversal by Sloan and there goes Rick into the ropes. Off the nylon and into a killer power slam, Ulfric arches his back in pain!
TK: Sloan pulls Rick off the canvas and look out; double under hook suplex connects and this could be it!
Referee: 1... 2... THREE!!!
Promo: He got him!
Referee: NO! TWO! Shoulder off the canvas, continue the match!
TK: Wow that was close, and if I didn't know any better, I would think BACW actually hired two guys who knew how to wrestle and not just swing chairs.
Promo: Or stab people in the head with a fork?
TK: Thin ice Paul! It's Omen thin!
Promo: Snap-mare into a reverse chin lock by Sloan and it appears Mike is looking to slow the action down.
TK: He needs a fork if he wants to slow do Ulfric!
[Taking Rick by the ears, Sloan slams his head into Ulfric's skull and flopping over his opponent to the side, Mike tries another 1... 2... 3...]
Referee: TWO!
Crowd: [Clapping]
Promo: Ulfric clears his shoulder through the cover and believe it or not, the match is still not over! Pulling Ulfric off the canvas, Rick goes for a desperation eye rake and pulling back into a flap jack, Sloan is caught off guard!
[THUD!]
Crowd: [BOO!]
TK: Sloan is on Queer Street and if Ulfric can hit his finisher, that going to be all she wrote!
[Mounted punches by Ulfric on Sloan and rotating Mike to his feet, Rick unleashes a textbook float over DDT!]
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: Ulfric motions to the crowd that he's going to climb the turnbuckle!
TK: I don't think that such a good idea!
[Pushing off and rotating into a Senton bomb, Mike rolls out of the way at the last minute!]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Promo: Ulfric is trouble and believe it or not, the crowd is now cheering for Sloan!
Crowd: Sloan! Sloan! Sloan!
TK: Mike Sloan is up and he's tuning up the band!
Promo: If the super kick hits, this one's definitely over!
[Pounding his foot on the canvas as the crowd joins in unison, Rick stumbles to his feet and here comes Sloan!]
[CRACK!]
Crowd: [OH!]
Promo: What the hell?
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: Into the ring comes Matt McClain from the back and clubbing Mike Sloan with a steel chair, both The Crippler and Ulfric begin to put to boots to Sloan!
TK: McClain immediately locks on the breaking point cross face and Ulfric leans the dented chair against Mike's head. Ulfric backs up into the corner, and limping forward, delivers a brutal drop kick that sends the chair right into Sloan's face!
Promo: Blood reigns down onto the canvas beneath Sloan and calling for the bell, the referee has just disqualified Rick Ulfric!
TK: Who the hell cares about winning and losing, McClain still has the breaking point on and he's trying to tear Sloan's shoulder clear off his body! This is better than my fork!
Crowd: Ass-holes! Ass-holes! Ass-holes!
Promo: Diving into the ring is BACW's security team headed by the "Lone Wolf" Jeremy King and tossing Rick out of the ring, King stops McClain with a scissor kick to the skull final forcing the hold to be broken! Out of the ring and holding their collective heads in pain, McClain and Ulfric sneer back at King who's ordering his team to surround the fallen Mike Sloan.
[Looking into the ring, Matt fires off a threat towards Lone Wolf from the ramp.]
Matt McClain: You're dead King! You're DEAD!
[As McClain goes down to one knee, the camera zooms into his partner who has a strange look on his face. The blood pouring down from Sloan's face has done something to Rick, and Ulfric appears to be confused.]
Rick Ulfric: [Almost as if he remembers his BWA days] Mike? [Looking up at McClain and the blood covering his hands.] What the hell is going on here?
[Rolling his eyes into the back of his head, Ulfric collapses to the floor.]
McClain: [Stunned] RICK! RICK!!!
[The camera fades as McClain starts to shake his partner.]
McClain: RICK!!!!!!!! AAARGH!!! [Looking back into the ring] SLOOOAN!!!!!
Continue show HERE!
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