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[Part 17] - Candice Hoffman w/ Jeff Harris
[The camera cuts backstage where we see a sweaty Jeff Harris standing next to Candice Hoffman, hopefully ready to give her the interview she wanted at the beginning of the night. The fans are still reeling at what has just occurred in the ring and getting the cue from her from Paul, the reporter jumps right in.]
Candice: Yes I can Paul... Hello fanboys and fangirls, I am your sexy on the scene X-Zone reporter Candice Hoffman and I am standing here with BACW’s newest superstar, “All F’n That” Jeffrey James Harrison. Jeff, can you tell us why you have interfered after the Regional Championship match between Matt McClain and Mike Sloan?
[Harris holds up the mangled branding iron.]
Jeff Harris: Well its simple really Candice, every great wrestler needs to start somewhere when they enter a new place of employment and I am starting here. Tonight I said I would be kicking some ass and teaching some respect and McClain and Sloan are two wrestlers I consider people that need to respect this business the same way I do. This was a championship match, you’d think a Night of Champions event would bring out the best in everyone but this particular match was pretty lackluster to be honest. The new era starts right now in Bad Ass Championship Wrestling! I will be the guy that carries this promotion to the top of NWA, forget Acadian Wrestling, Circle of Pride and Honourable Wrestling Alliance, none of them have the star power this company does and it’s time we capitalized on it. I am not here to make friends, I have enough friends, I am here to show everyone just what I am capable of.
Candice: Is it safe to say that you’ll be going after the Regional Championship?
Jeff Harris: Whatever match I am put in every month I will be victorious, whether it’s the Regional title or anything else, the people here need to up their game because they will end up falling victim to "All Fucking That".
Candice: Your debut was certainly impressive.
Jeff Harris: Before I go I will tell you this, whoever wins the Heavyweight Championship match tonight, whether it is Chris Ross, or The Spectre, know that you will have me breathing down your neck every step of the way. I will earn my place in the main event and no one, and I mean absolutely no one will stop me.
Candice: When is the next time you'll be in the ring?
Jeff Harris: I'll see you all in 2008!
Crowd: All F'N That! All F'N That! All F'N That!
[Walking off screen, Harris leaving the fans like Bill Idol, wanting more, more, more.]
Candice: Ladies and gentlemen, Jeff Harris.
Crowd: [POP!]
[Changing over the last shot and refocusing on a stunned announcer's team, the crowd continues to buzz with excitement over the arrival of Jeffrey James Harris.]
Promo: Folks, the games and fun are over and I say that because here comes a very serious looking Chris Ross. Usually the Hawaiian Hot Head is looking for Batee and taking his aggression out on his fellow roster-mates but tonight, Chris Ross gets a shot at glory and something tells me, his time to win the big one has finally come.
[Part 18] - Main Event BACW Heavyweight Championship
The Spectre (c)
Vs.
Chris Ross
[Ding!] [Ding!] [Ding!]
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is our main event of the evening and will be for BACW's Heavyweight championship!
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Stuffher: Already in the ring, from the Hawaiian Islands, this is Chris Ross!
Crowd: [POP!] Ross! Ross! Ross!
Promo: Three months ago Chris Ross started a campaign to terrorize Mr. Batee into this match and after 4 months of running for his life, our BACW owner has finally given in to his demands.
ED: Yeah, most seem to think The Spectre is ready to drop his title and when this happens in BACW, you always see the proverbial sharks circling the water looking for blood.
Promo: It's my opinion that Spectre really wants to start sending things into overdrive, so to speak.
ED: What do you mean?
Promo: Well for too long, Spectre has basically been defending his title successfully, and that’s it. No off the wall or insane stuff has been done before, during or after his matches, which if you know Spectre, is highly unusual; wouldn't you agree?
ED: To be honest, not seeing that damn wild hyena out here is a nice breath of fresh air; LITERALLY!
Promo: We should be careful for what we ask for.
ED: [Smirk] Who are you telling?
Stuffher: Finally, it is my distinct pleasure to introduce to you, our Bad ASS Championship Wrestling heavyweight champion!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Stuffher: Please give a warm "Stomp Hall" welcome to the incomparable “Sadistic Nut”... The SPECTRE!!
[Suddenly, the heavyweight champion flies out of the back, head down, thick legs pumping fast.]
Crowd: [POP!]
[The crowd absolutely explodes with boos as they get their first glimpse of the heavily scarred purple haired champion. Tonight, Spectre wears purple and black long tights and boots, although any details are missed by the very speed with which he is unusually flying down the ramp. Spectre enters the ring over the top rope and charges Ross, launching punch after punch against the massive Hawaiian’s stomach.]
Promo: Spectre is emptying in the tank!
ED: But Ross isn't backing down! He's covering up in peek-a-boo style!
Promo: Maybe it's the rope a-dope!
[With his heavy rights and lefts having no affect on Ross' midsection, the champion sprints to the ropes, bounces off, and charges back at Chris driving himself into the thick torso shoulder first. Spectre ricochets off, catches himself on the ropes, and launches himself again with the result being the same.]
Ross: NO FUCKING WAY SPECTRE!
Promo: I don't know what to say!?
ED: Someone call Barry Bonds because Balco must have missed someone!
Promo: Ross is in a special place right now, and if I were Spectre, I would definitely proceed with extreme caution!
[The champion tries a new tactic swinging his foot towards the challenger's crotch and Chris has apparently had enough of this blocking the low blow.]
ED: He just swatting the over three hundred pound kick to the side like Spectre was a gnat!
Promo: The referee has entered the ring and calling for the bell, Chris Ross appears to be in the zone!
Referee: Start the match!
[Ding!] [Ding!] [Ding!]
ED: There's a kink in every man's armor Paul!
Promo: For all those just joining us, Spectre started off with an early flurry, but it seems to have had no affect on Chris Ross! I’d nearly forgotten how impressive the Hawaiian could be when motivated, but then again, the heavyweight crown is on the line.
ED: I don’t think Spectre has ever had to face someone who could withstand what Chris Ross could withstand.
Promo: And I don’t think he’s ever faced anyone who can dish it as well as the Hawaiian either…
ED: … but it’s also entirely possible that Chris Ross has never faced anyone like The Spectre either!
Promo: Indeed, but Spectre is just too determined to stop coming forward.
ED: He doesn’t know any plan of attack other than straight out, balls to the wall seek and destroy.
Promo: He’s not going to change a damned thing for this match.
ED: He’s not going to try anything but his constant assault.
Promo: He’s not afraid of Ross and that might be enough to give him an edge in the end!
ED: Spectre and Ross now are standing toe to toe in the center of the ring, and the size of both these men is remarkable.
Promo: They’re almost eye-to-eye, but the Spectre is nearly twice as wide as Ross.
ED: But Ross is running his mouth at a thousand miles an hour, spitting anger and venom right at Spectre who’s just staring back.
[Ross pulls back his right hand and slugs Spectre in the jaw!]
Crowd: [OH!]
Promo: Again! And again!
ED: Now it's Spectre who's not fazed!
Spectre: NO MORE!
[Ross shakes his head, mutters, and takes another swing, which still has no affect!]
Promo: This is almost surreal, Paul. I’ve never seen Chris Ross this ineffective against someone. First it was Ross who wouldn't go down, now it's the champion who is showing the challenger that he can be just as tough!
[Ross steps back, bounces off the ropes, and flies at The Spectre with shoulder tackle that has no effect on the champion. The challenger pounds his chest in anger, gets back to his feet, and bounces off the ropes again. Charging Spectre, the challenger leapsand connects with another shoulder block, and this time the Spectre is staggered!]
ED: Chris nods as he charging the champion again!
Promo: The Spectre hasn’t made an offensive move since handing over the reigns to Ross, but it looks like Chris might have found something effective with these shoulder blocks.
[Walking up to Spectre, the challenger spits in his face and from out of no where, something inside the Spectre snaps like a Slim Jim.]
Spectre: RRRROOOSSSS!!!
Promo: Spectre has had enough!
ED: Clothesline! Again! Ross is down and Spectre plays off the surprising cheers of the fans.
Crowd: Spectre! Spectre! Spectre!
Promo: The champion caught Chris off guard and slamming his head into the corner with a thud, the big Hawaiian shakes his head in pain! The champion charges to another corner, and slams into Ross into it again! Again! Again! Spectre slams his forearms into the Hawaiian’s ears, but I'm not too sure just how much damage that actually did!
ED: The challenger can grip tighter than a virgin Vietnamese girl, be he seems to be weakening under those rocking shots coming from the Spectre.
Promo: Oh my God! The Hawaiian just fell forward, and Spectre drops a huge leg across the neck of Ross. Things don’t look good for the Hawaiian Heat seeker…
ED: I’d never heard him called that before.
Promo: I think I made it up.
ED: I don’t like it.
[Rising from the mat again, Spectre takes hold of Ross by the ears, lifting him to his feet. Tossing Chris into the corner, the Spectre unloads heavy rights and lefts to Ross’s face. One connects directly with Chris’s nose, busting it wide open and letting loose a torrent of blood. Another right connects with the arch of an eyebrow, opening another shallow gash. It is almost possible to see the lumps forming as the Spectre continues to pound on Ross.]
ED: This is getting ugly, Paul.
Promo: The Spectre has now changes topics, swinging heavy handed chops against Ross’ chest!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
ED: Each thud leaves a bright red welt on the Hawaiian’s tan skin.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Promo: But all is not lost for the Purple Haired Hate Machine because Ross just grabbed The Spectre by the throat with both hands!
[Now latched around the thick neck of the champion, Ross climbs the turnbuckles with both hands still throttling the champion. Pushing forward, he drives Spectre to the ground with a heavily modified choke slam! Now it’s Ross who is once again with the upper hand, holding Spectre’s throat with one hand while driving his other fist into his face! Again and again, Ross has found strength from somewhere to whale away on the champion! ]
ED: Ross unceremoniously dumps Spectre over the top rope to the floor and the champion is clutching his arm.
Promo: This is bad news for Spectre.
ED: Indeed it is, Paul. The challenger has climbed out of the ring and is pacing towards the fallen champion who’s getting a chair from under the ring!
Promo: The Hawaiian doesn’t notice it…
ED: He better be careful!
[WHACK!]
Chris Ross: UGH!
Crowd: [OH!]
Promo: Oh my God! The edge of the chair connects with Chris’s head, and Spectre struggles to his feet! He takes another swing, and another, and another! The challenger is staggering, but he’s not falling!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: The fans are beside themselves, begging for the referee to do something about this!
Referee: No disqualification! There must be a winner by pin fall!
ED: What? They can do anything… no rules, no restrictions?
Promo: That’s what the referee's telling the fans! Spectre has nearly broken that poor chair over the challenger's head, but Ross is still standing. Blood is dripping from the face, but Spectre can’t seem to put this monster down!
[Spectre tosses aside the dented chair, drops to a knee, and uses his good arm to drive a forearm into the challenger’s groin. With Chris doubled over, Spectre straddles his head, leans forward, and somehow manager to power the beast up enough to connect with a sit down pile driver.]
[CRACK!]
Crowd: [WOW!]
Promo: Still not letting up, Specter climbs the apron, leaps off, and hits a body splash on the challenger.
ED: The referee makes a count.
Referee: One...
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Promo: So help me God, he kicked out at one!
Referee: One! Only one! Continue the match!
Promo: The referee is signaling one, and this match is going on.
[Spectre drags Ross to his feet, slaps him across the face returning the favor, and scoops him up for a massive body slam! Pulling the massive Hawaiian to his feet again, Spectre pulls him into position for an Arabian face buster…
ED: NO! Break it Ross!
Promo: The challenger just stood up and back body dropped Spectre!
ED: YES!!!
Crowd: [POP!]
Promo: The champion rolls to his feet, and charges without thought!
ED: Ross reaches out with one massive paw and catches Spectre around the throat, and...
[CHOKE SLAM!!!]
Promo: What a major-league choke slam!
[THUD!!!!]
Crowd: [OH!]
ED: The momentum has swung back, and here comes the challenger charging forward!
[Picking up the discarded steel chair, it’s time for a brutal beating! Spectre has reached his knees, and the challenger smashes the chair down with every ounce of effort he has. The chair dents heavily as Spectre’s eyes roll back into his head. Blood is pouring down Spectre’s face, but he refuses to fall down just like Ross. The Champion takes another swing, this one bending the chair in half vertically. Spectre rocks, nearly falls backwards, but gets to one knee.]
Crowd: One more time! One more time! One more time!
Promo: The champion is covered in his own blood, but the fans continue to scream “One more time!” so Ross swings again.
[WHACK!]
Crowd: [OH!]
[This time the chair breaks, but again Spectre does not fall. His chest is now covered with thick red blood, but he manages to smile, the brilliant white a startling contrast to the nearly black blood. The challenger tries to bring down a punch, but Specre catches his hand with his undamaged arm.]
ED: I don’t believe it, Paul!
Promo: I don’t believe it either, Eric! Spectre should be dead! He should have at least fallen over! But he’s fighting Chris Ross back! He’s getting to his feet! What are you doing?
Crowd: [BOO!]
Kimo Newton: Here I come Dawg! Yeah booooy! Kimo's in tha house!
ED: Kimo Newton just appeared at ringside and handed Ross a barbwire Singapore cane!
Crowd: You're hardcore! You're hardcore! You're hardcore!
Kimo: Damn skippy I'm hardcore! Whack that bum Ross-dawg!
[Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack!]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Promo: He’s beating Spectre with that cane and falling through the ropes, the champion finally comes to rest on the small mats! The referee is distracted by Kimo Newton who's now up on the apron, and the challenger uses the momentary lapse of concentration to exit the ring, and look out, it's Ross with an Iron Claw!
ED: Spectre has gone limp!
Promo: Kimo directs the Ross to drop Spectre, and now Kimo is beating the champion with that cane! It’s two on one, and this is unfair!
ED: Wait a second… The referee has pulled Kimo off!
Promo: Kimo swings at the referee with the cane, the referee ducks, catches Kimo, and delivers a DDT!
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Promo: Kimo is out cold, and the challenger is beside himself!
ED: He’s looking from the referee to Spectre, and he can’t decide what to do! He turning back to the champion and decided to lifts the purple haired freak up.
Promo: Jamaican jerk powder to the eyes by Ross!
ED: The challenger is pulling everything out of the bag tonight, and he won’t go down without a fight!
Promo: But Spectre can't see!
Ross: ARGHH!!!!
[KA-THUD!]
Spectre: [UGH!]
ED: HOLY SHIT! CHOKE SLAM ON THE CONCRETE!!!!
Crowd: You're hardcore! You're hardcore! You're hardcore!
Promo: Ross with the cover and it’s one, two…
Referee: THRE...!
ED: NO!
Referee: [The referee is indicates two] TWO!
Promo: Dazed from this epic battle, Ross wobbles on his knees completely exhausted. Kimo has crawled to his knees too, and he’s screaming for another choke slam!
Kimo: Breeeeak him Daaaaaawg!
Promo: Ross lifts Spectre, grabs him by the throat, and it’s ANOTHER concrete choke slam!
Crowd: [OOOO!]
Promo: The Hawaiian looks at Kimo, who is indicating for him to do it again!
Kimo: DO IT AGAIN DAAAAAWG!!! CRIPPLE HIM!
[Ross lifts Spectre again, and Kimo screams to him to stop.]
Kimo: ON THE RAMP DAWG!
Crowd: [POP!]
[The crowd explodes in anticipation as the challenger drags Spectre up the ramp and onto the stage. Kimo has managed to shuffle after the two and points at the floor, fifteen feet from the stage. The challenger lifts the champion up again, steps forward, and starts to toss him into oblivion.]
Promo: This is the end, Eric. Kimo was pissed about the DDT, and he’s going to let Ross kill Spectre for it!
Crowd: Ross! Ross! Ross!
[Bring Spectre almost to the point of mo return, Kimo calls to his friend from behind.]
Kimo: WAIT DAWG!!!
[Lighting a match, Kimo tosses it onto the table and with one fiery motion, the concession tables below are engulfed in 8 foot flames.]
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Promo: The fire rages at over 100 degrees and Ross is smiling at the crowd that's going absolutely nuts!
ED: This is great! Let this end like we were in Rome! Fight to the death.
Promo: Ross is lifting Spectre up, and driving him off…
[CRASH!]
[CRUUNCH!]
[THUD!]
[KA-THUMP!]
Promo: OH MY GOD!
Crowd: [POP!] Are they dead? Are they dead? Are they dead?
[As the champion was coming down, Spectre managed to grab Ross pulling him off the stage with him into the flames.]
Promo: Hitting the concrete, my instant replay shows Ross missed not only the fire, but all the tables too!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
ED: I'm not sure whose worst for the wear? Spectre who's charred from the fire or Ross who pretty much went splat on the small mats?
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
[Then, in an extraordinary manner, the camera picks up Spectre as he reaches from the smoke and burned wood to make a sloppy, but effective cover on Ross. In the background, the blood thirsty crowd continues to chant.]
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Promo: That was the greatest self-preservation move I’ve ever seen! Both men are down, the referee has finally climbed down into place, and he’s checking to make sure they’re alive. Kimo is screaming for Ross to get up but I gotta say, Eric, I don’t expect him to.
ED: The champion continues to drape his arm across the challenger’s chest, and the referee counts the one...
Referee: Two...
Crowd: THREE!
Ross: NO!
Promo: AAAHHHH!!!!!!
ED: Not so fast!
Promo: How in the world did Chris Ross kicked out?
ED: This kid is just not human! Fifteen feet from the stage! Down onto the floor! A normal man would be dead, but some how, some way, Chris Ross has not only survived, but managed to kick out and Spectre's expression is one of disbelief!
Promo: Spectre pulls himself forward over the burning wood and putting his chest against the challenger’s, call for another count, this time hooking the leg.
ED: 1...
Referee: 2...
Crowd: THREE!!!
Promo: He did it again!
ED: What does Spectre have to do in order to retain?
[Waving to the crowd, the referee gives the official take on the match.]
Referee: NO! TWO! ONLY TWO! CONTINUE THE MATCH!
Crowd: Ross! Ross! Ross!
ED: Spectre punches Ross in the head, and it’s a third cover…
Referee: 1... 2...
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: NO! TWO!
Crowd: [YEAH!]
Promo: ...and another kick out! Spectre and Ross are both soaked with blood, brutally beaten, and this match has to be almost over on several occassions!
[Spectre drags himself to his feet, and lifting Ross off the ground, pulls him into position for his Sweet Dreams finisher. Falling more than dropping, Spectre snaps Ross’ neck back over his shoulder, releases the reverse chin lock, rolls Chris over, and goes for the pin.]
Promo: Sweet dreams connects!!!
ED: Call the coroner's office!
Referee: One...
Promo: Two…
Crowd: THREE!!!
Referee: NO! TWO!
Crowd: [OH!]
ED: Never in my life have I seen something like this. Forget about TVMA, this is a match that will go down in BACW history as one of the best of all time! Chris Ross who is playing the immovable stone against Spectre who is playing the irresistible object!
Crowd: This is awesome! [clap clap clap-clap-clap] This is awesome! [clap clap clap-clap-clap] This is awesome! [clap clap clap-clap-clap]
Promo: Spectre is beside himself, but he’s also nodding towards the challenger, who isn’t really moving. Spectre grabs a burning piece of the table, bashes Ross in the head with it, and then drapes the blackened wood over his opponent’s head.
[Climbing to the ramp Spectre signals for an extreme leg drop but Kimo charges grabbing him by the waist in an attempt to keep him from jumping onto Ross.]
Crowd: [BOO!]
[Turning, Spectre clubs Kimo on the back of the head, grabs his dreadlocks, and flings him off the stage onto the speaker equipment...]
Kimo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[BUZZZZZZZZ!]
[BOOM!]
[CRACKLE!]
Crowd: [OH!]
Promo: Spectre just tossed Kimo off the ramp into the speaker area and look at the sparks fly!
ED: And the rockets red glare!
[BOOM!]
[BOOM!]
Crowd: [POP!] Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!
[Pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop]
ED: Kimo just bounced off the cable forcing those very heavy speakers to fall on top of him and now Spectre is pointing at Ross!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: Someone eventually going to seriously get hurt.
ED: WHAT?!!! Kimo looks like his arm is completely broken in half!? There are live electrical wires all over the place, and Spectre looks like a marsh mellow on Cub Scout night! Forgot about eventually getting hurt, THEY ALREADY ARE!
[Once again gaining control over a random stage chair, Spectre holds it up in the air...]
Crowd: Jump! Jump! Jump!
[Leaping off the 15 foot stage...]
Crowd: [OOOOOOO!!!!]
[KA-FUCKING-CRAAAACK!]
ED: Steel chair leg drop from hell!!!!
Promo: Oh my Christ, Eric! That’s ridiculous! There’s no way Ross can kick out of this! This count is a formality… and so might be breathing!
Referee: 1....
Crowd: 2...
ED: Ross is not moving!
Promo: I don't think he is going to make it!
ED: One more time Chris!
Referee and Crowd: THREE!!!
Promo: Spectre rolls off of Ross, and he manages to stagger to his feet. The referee raises Spectre’s arm in victory, and oh my God! Spectre has collapsed! The man in stripes is calling for the paramedics for all three men and folks.
ED: Do we have anymore time?
Promo: Unfortunately, we are completely out of time! In all my life I have never seen a match like this where two men have brought themselves SO close to death.
ED: CLOSE to death? Kimo most likely IS dead!
Promo: Point taken... Folks, I don't know what to say other than this IS Bad ASS Championship Wrestling and based on tonight's performance, we are the without a doubt, THE premier product here in all of NWA! We are out of time, so on behalf of BACW, Mr. Batee, the NWA and our sponsor's eWrestling.Org. We bid you good night and we'll see you next time, for our next edition of TV-MA.
[Part 19] - The Dark Horse Rides
[Backstage]
[With his face all marked up from his match, The Dark Horse scowls at Cynthia.]
Mike Sloan: Hold this!
[He hands her a black bag, about the size of a title.]
Mike Sloan: I have to locate Rick.
Cynthia: [She reaches for him.] Mike... Please...
Mike Sloan: I have too. This might be the last time I have to reach him. I have to tell him that Scott has never contacted me.
Cynthia: Logan?
Mike Sloan: Logan is a liar.
Cynthia: Are you sure you know what you're doing?
Mike Sloan: No, but I have to find Rick.
[He grabs the door knob and exit’s the locker room.]
End TVMA
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