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Welcome To Bad ASS Championship Wrestling’s TVMA
Live from the Elks Lodge, Brooklyn New York
MAIN EVENT
NAWA World Tag Team Championship
The Beautiful People (C)
vs.
Misanthropic
Barbwire Battle Royal
Winner will get a BACW Heavyweight title shot with Matt McClain at the July's iPPV
Matt McClain
Particle Man
Randy Acorn
Orge Lambart
Alec Ace
Chris Ross
Kimo Newton
[We open up the show backstage.]
[The camera pans across what appears to be a ransacked locker room. The damage done might indicate the private area was hit by a class 5 tornado or even an earthquake. Everything is in disarray and tossed about as if someone was looking for something… or trying to send a message to someone. But whose locker room were we in?]
Matt McClain: What the hell?!?
[Into view, BACW’s number one contender, Matt McClain immediately becomes shocked at the deplorable conditions of his personal stuff. He steps over a fallen bench then a chair, and finally picks up some of his belongings off the floor. His gym bag which carried his possessions has been destroyed. One of the handles is missing, and the other barely hangs by a thread. Whatever belongings he had are now gone and taking a deep breath, McClain’s eyes fill with rage as he tosses it back down to the ground. Screaming out loud, he begins kicking things around finally throwing a chair into the wall forming big hole. A frightened but concerned member of security eventually runs into the room upon hearing the commotion not knowing what to expect.]
Security Guard: Mister McClain, Mister McClain! What’s going on? Are you ok?
[Matt sees the guard and feels nothing but anger. Not having an outlet for his rage, he grabs him by the collar and slams him hard up against the wall.]
Security Guard: AAAAAAAARGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
Matt McClain: Can you tell me what the hell is wrong with this picture? Can you?!
[The security guard is obviously shocked.]
Security Guard: W-w-w-what do you mean?
[SLAP!]
[Matt slaps the guard the in the face.]
Security Guard: UGH! Please Mr. McClain, I don’t know what you’re talking about Sir.
McClain: [Shaking his head] HELLO?!
[McClain takes the man by his cheeks and jerks his face in the direction of the mess.]
McClain: Are you blind?! Look at my locker room! Who the hell did this?!
[The security guard just throws his hands up in the air, defenseless.]
Security Guard: I… I… I don’t know, Mr. McClain. I haven’t seen anybody suspicious backstage all night.
McClain: [Gritting his teeth] And why not?!
Security Guard: Well…
McClain: [Interrupting] Is it because you weren’t doing your JOB? I want to know who the hell did this? TELL ME, DAMN IT! Was it that purple-haired cock-muncher Spectre?!
Security: [Closing his eyes tight and turning his head] Please stop yelling me Sir…
McClain: [Putting the guard in a hammer lock] If it was him, then tell me so I can go break his freaking arm!
Security Guard: I… I… I don’t know who it was, Mr. McClain. And as far as I know, Spectre isn’t even here tonight. Please don’t break my arm Sir, I have softball playoffs this week.
McClain: ARGGGHHH!
[SLAM!]
Security Guard: [Slumping to the floor unconscious] UGH!
[Not liking the response he got, McClain flings the security guard into the metal lockers. The man sails headfirst into the lockers finally coming to rest on the ground. An enraged McClain attacks the prone security guard and slaps on the Breaking Point just because he can. Matt’s temper flares to blistering frustration as he applies pressure more and more pressure! Within seconds of his screams, several officials finally rush into McClain’s locker room and forcibly remove him from the area breaking the hold. As the camera man struggles to get up from his fallen position, McClain can be heard screaming and resisting officials.]
McClain: Get off me! I’m going to the ring! Screw this battle royal, I wanted Spectre’s head on a stick, and if he’s here tonight, he better not make me wait! Let me go!
[Through the backstage area and passing all the roadies, you can see Particle Man in the corner with Universe Man trying to learn how to fly. Sam Natas and Ms Suck are taking turns spitting into each others mouths, while Orge Lambart is on a milk crate preaching religion to a small group of fans. Finally, at the entrance to the hall, McClain’s music kicks in and through a chorus of boo birds, he marches into the wrestling area. Quickly down the isle and rolling under the bottom rope, he immediately calls for the microphone. But just as he’s about to speak, his audio is cut off by a very familiar sadistic cackle.]
McClain: [Without his microphone out] Get out here Spectre! RIGHT-NOW!
[We all recognize that demented laugh and Matt McClain especially recognizes the irritating sound of The Spectre’s screech. He looks all around with his fists clinched and ready to fight paces the ring like a madman. Even without a microphone, McClain can be heard screaming, “Come out and fight you purple haired cock-muncher!” Yet, Spectre’s cackling continues. After a few seconds of torment, Spectre appears on the Oval-tron, in front of a dark background. He has a devious grin plastered on his face as he looks down on McClain who still has not seen him on the big screen.]
Spectre: Hey, MATTY TOO FATTY! Look up here!
[McClain turns his attention to the monitor, and when he sees Spectre, he completely flips out.]
McClain: Come on you purple haired bastard! You want a piece of me?! I’m right here! You want to fight me so bad, well here I am! Come on Spectre! We don’t have to wait until Last Rites to do this!
Spectre: Zip it, you three-dollar Herpes-Infected Houston Whore!
Crowd: OH!
[Spectre’s rude comments send shockwaves throughout the hall, and only manage to enrage McClain even further.]
Spectre: You know I’d be there if I could, but seeing as you took it upon YOURSELF to break Devon’s arm last month, I have been taking care of him since. But you know what, MATTY? Devon is a lot tougher than you give him credit. I wanted to stay with Devon while he was convalescing at home, but you know what Devon told me, MATTY? He said, ‘don’t worry about me. Just go to TVMA and beat up that son-of-a-bitch Matt McClain for me’ then he said, ‘And while you’re at it, go ahead and break his other arm for me too!’
Crowd: OOOO!
Spectre: Great idea, I thought. But then that would be too easy. Breaking your arm would only be temporary. I have to do something that would be on a more, shall we say, PERMANENT basis! If I want to wear you down, I have to take a different approach. That is why I did what I did, MATTY, and well hell, I’m not going to deny it…. I’M the one who destroyed your locker room!
[What?! But why did Spectre destroy McClain’s locker room? There was no need for that? If he wanted to confront McClain, why didn’t he do it in person?]
Spectre: Oh, yeah! Right! You’d like me to come down there wouldn’t you? But you see, I’m not in Brooklyn anymore. In fact, I’m not even within 10 miles of the arena!
Crowd: BOO!
Spectre: Hehehehehehehehe…
Crowd: Ass-hooole! Ass-hooole! Ass-hooole!
Spectre: So sorry, MATTY TOO FATTY, but you’ll just have to wait if you really, REALLY want me!
Spectre: Hehehehehehehehehe…
Crowd: Ass-hooole! Ass-hooole! Ass-hooole!
Spectre: But what I will tell you is that I am behind this 55-gallon drum.”
[The camera pans back to reveal the drum Spectre is referring to. Looking into the camera, Spectre holds up a large trash bag that appears to contain some common items.]
Spectre: You know it’s quite enlightening what you can find out about a person by the things they own, or the things they carry around with them. And I learned a lot of things about YOU, MATTY. Some things which I find rather disturbing… Like this!
[Spectre reaches in the bag and pulls out an unclean jockstrap.]
Spectre: Who knew that MATTY drives a car in his jock? You can tell he does by the obvious “skid marks”! Hehehehehehehe… Or this little item…
[Spectre pulls out this month’s edition of BACW magazine which is open to BACW Divas Ms Suck.]
Spectre: Hmmm… looks like MATTY has been choking more than his opponents after all! Hehehehehe… Or this…
[Spectre pulls out a thin children’s book, and reveals the title.]
Spectre: Wow! ‘The Little Train That Could’? That is quite a read, McClain? I bet you have spent countless hours trying to sift through this deep book. Is this book the motivation that keeps you saying, ‘I think I can, I think I can, I think I can?’ Or is this book something you read before getting ready for your matches?
[Spectre reaches into the garbage bag again and pulls out a piece of pink construction paper. He turns it around to reveal a drawing in red crayon of what appears to be some stick figure inside a crude-looking wrestling ring, and holding a red circle over his head. In red crayon is written.. “DaDy IS chAmP”
Spectre: You know, MATTY, I hate to say this, but your girl needs to look up to someone with a bit more talent; for instance, me! I mean, look at this picture, it a complete dream world she lives in. First she draws what I guess is supposed to be YOU holding the BACW title, and she calls you the champ? What sort of lies have YOU been telling her, MATTY? Don’t tell me you still tell her that Santa Claus is real too? Come on Matthew!
Promo: Spectre is treading on thin ice right now, and I don’t like where this is going.
Spectre: Actually, MATTY, I know why you carried this picture in your bag. It’s to remind you that there are four little lives that you are responsible for taking care of back at home. It’s to remind you of how much you miss and love your family. Keeping this picture is like a memory for you, MATTY- a memory you don’t want to lose. But guess what…
[Spectre holds the picture in front of the camera and rips it to shreds, laughing and cackling the whole time. Inside the ring, McClain is in a fit of frenzy because he can do nothing but watch while Spectre destroys his private memories. Spectre drops the pieces in the 55-gallon drum.]
Spectre: I just erased that memory, I mean, that FALLACY, you created for your daughter. What’s more I saved your daughter from possibly creating further pictures with crayons inside a padded cell by the time she is 14!
[Spectre shuffles through some pictures that were in the bag, and shakes his head in disgust.]
Spectre: Better yet, are THOSE kids even yours? Maybe your old lady has been sleeping around on you while you’ve been on the road. The nights can get awfully lonely for a woman who has “needs”.
McClain: You just signed your dead warrant!
[Spectre tosses the pictures in the drum.]
Spectre: Maybe what she needs is…
McClain: [Matt microphone turns on] SHUT UP! STOP IT RIGHT THERE! My wife, my family, they aren’t part of this Spectre!
[Spectre holds up his left hand and reveals a wedding band on his ring finger.]
Spectre: I found this ring buried deep inside a secret pocket in your bag, MATTY! When is the last time you put this on in public? Well, maybe I should just hold on to this for safekeeping!
McClain: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!
[Spectre lights a match and tosses it into the drum igniting the items inside the drum on fire as McClain shakes inside the ring with anger racing through his body.]
Spectre: Bottom line, MATTY, all the things I took, I didn’t take from you. I took YOU from THEM. The things that are most important in your life, I can make sure you never see again. You know I’m not going to go away like Ric Righteous or Darrel Besolve or Lee Riel. I’m going to be right in your face, inside your head, from now until the day you die! And, if I have anything to say about that, it will happen a lot sooner than you think. You haven’t been able to stop me before, and I have good reason now to finally, PERMANENTLY take YOU away from those things you love the most. To never see them again would be such a shame. Then again, everyone would be better off! Your wife, your kids, your entire family, your fans, and the ENTIRE WORLD! What would it be like, if Matt McClain had NEVER, EVER existed? Hehehehehehehehehehe! See you in the funny papers!
[The feed goes to static as we kick into the introduction for tonight’s card.]
E-
[Music riff]
Wrrrestling! [Echo]
[Music riff]
Dot [Echo]
[Music riff]
Org!
[Music riff]
[Cue in video clip and ignite pyrotechnics.]
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Paul Prominski: Hello everyone and welcome to the Elks! I'm Paul Prominiski AKA The Promo Machine, and we are only one month away from BACW's summer i-pay per view of the year; Last Rites! We are jam packed and overflowing at the gills here in Brooklyn New York, and it’s my pleasure to introduce to you former BACW Hall of Famer, Darrel Besolve! Hey Darrel where are you going…
[SMASH!]
Promo: AAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!! What the hell? Who are you?
[Snarling at Promo through his mask, a random fan points a bat at Darrel Besolve daring him to move. Backing up towards the apron as security comes pouring in from the back; he quickly rolls into the ring avoiding their grasp.]
Promo: Hey don’t get into that ring! Folks, a fan wearing a red, white, and blue mask with dread locks sticking out of the back just slid into the ring with a bat, and security is baffled as to what to do! Does anyone know who this guy is?
Darrel Besolve: [Finally taking his seat] There’s nothing about a debut on my notes.
Crowd: Ass-hole! Ass-hole! Ass-hole! Ass-hole!
???? ????: [Without a microphone] Shut up you extreme posers! You think you’re hardcore? You nothing compared to me, I’m hardcore!
Crowd: Natas is gonna kill you! Natas is gonna kill you! Natas is gonna kill you!
Security Head: Put the bat down and we won’t press charges. Someone in the back wants to talk to you.
[Now surrounded by security, the crazed fan is forced to lay his bat on the canvas as law enforcement officials storm the ring to greet him. Taking the bat and the man into custody, it appears the weapon is covered with human teeth and fused together with glass!]
Promo: Well I for one am glad security was able to get a hold of this crazy fan because someone could have be seriously hurt!
Besolve: Folks, when coming to a BACW show, please do not enter the wrestler’s area because BACW will prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law and most likely beat you up once you’re in the back. And next time someone tries pointing a bat at me when I’m trying to take my seat, they just might have their teeth blasted out of their head by a BACW hall of famer!
Promo: Easy Mr. Besolve, you’re a father now. But speaking of nutcases here in BACW, we have a limited amount of television time, so let’s go to the ring for the introductions to our opening bout.
[DING! DING! DING!]
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, this opening bout is an over the top barbwire ropes battle royal!
Crowd: YEAH!
Stuffher: …and will yield to the winner, a shot at BACW Heavyweight championship at our July 1st, i-pay per view entitled Last Rites! Coming down the isle, here are the competitors! From Newark, New Jersey, standing at 6 feet 2 inches and weighing in at 235 pounds, he is the Newark "Bad Boy" Randy Acorn!!
Randy Acorn: GIVE ME THAT PUNK!
Crowd: BOO!
Promo: Can you believe Acorn just ripped a sign out of that little boy’s hands?
Besolve: It said "Acorn is Nuts!?
Promo: SO!?
Acorn: [Yelling into the crowd] I’ll show you people how nuts I am!
Promo: Oh my God, he’s tearing it up!
Besolve: Appears that heartless move is gaining him an abundance of boos from this capacity crowd, and I for one can’t blame the crowd. Don’t get me wrong, I love this guy’s ability inside the ring even if he’s not as talented as me… but if he continues to work out, who knows, maybe one day he could be my sparring partner?
[Acorn hops up on the apron and carefully going through the barbwire ropes, tosses the pieces of the sign into the ringside area drawing an even more angry response from the crowd.]
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Next to come down the isle, from The City, weighing in at nearly 100 pounds, and accompanied to the ring by Universe Man… Here he is to save the day - Particle Man!
Crowd: YEAH!
[As “Particle Man” by They Might Be Giants plays over the loudspeaker, the “Particle Signal” flashes on the Oval-tron calling to arms BACW’s protector of justice. Through the tunnel out comes Particle Man riding on the shoulders of his mammoth sidekick Universe Man. Pointing towards the ring, he gives his trusty sidekick directions.]
Particle Man: I smell danger, forward Universe Man before it’s too late!
[Pulling down his catcher’s mask, Universe Man bounds towards the ring with his hands extended in flying position.]
Promo: I know this is baseball season, but why is Universe Man wearing a complete catcher outfit over his wrestling gear?
Besolve: You’re asking me to tell you why this mental case is wearing a catcher’s outfit?
Promo: [Shrugging his shoulders] Yeah… I guess…
Besolve: Well I’m not going to answer you because having a grown man who thinks he’s a superhero in BACW is an embarrassment to all the people who paved the way for this little freak!
Promo: I don’t think you’re being fair Mr. Besolve.
Besolve: Look Paul, the last time these two super idiots took to the ring, a man almost killed himself because they brought in a bag of marbles to the ring! Marbles Promo! Who the hell brings marbles to a wrestling match?!
Promo: …Natas did hit him with a sledge hammer.
Besolve: That’s wasn’t a question?
Promo: So how does this relate to the match tonight?
Besolve: Shut up Paul.
[Outside the ring, Particle Man stands atop his manager's head and does a Superman pose with his cape blowing in the artificial wind. Front flipping off of his sidekick's head and onto the floor, PM lands in a crouched position finally flinging his cape off.]
Besolve: And there lies my proof!
Promo: You might have a point.
Besolve: Not might, I do have a point Paul!
[Suddenly the lights go out and “Gangsta Gangsta” by Lil Scrappy starts to play on the loud speakers.]
I'm a Gangsta gangsta, 2-4-5…
Stuffher: Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of over 400 lbs and accompanied by Jamaica... from Honolulu Hawaii... Stand up and represent, for "Krazy" Chris Ross and Kimo Newton... THE HAWAIIAN HUSTLERS!!!
Promo: These guys are a dangerous team and at the last BACW show, they defeated Handsome Mike and Pretty Pete in an impressive fashion. As our tag team division continues to heats up, many people are now asking the obvious question, “When are the Hustlers going to get a shot at the champions?”
Besolve: According to Mr. Batee, he wants to see how Ross and Newton are going to do in this battle royal before promising the Hustlers a title match. Beside, The Beautiful People might not even be champions by the end of this show.
Promo: But you have to agree, the Hustlers are the number one contenders.
Besolve: All depends on what happens here tonight.
[Scars by Papa Roach Blares over the loud speakers while at the same time, red pyrotechnics explode from either side of the ramp way from large cannons on either side. Around the same time, the lights go dim and the crowd has a mixture of cheers and boos. The curtains leading to the backstage area slowly open up and a cloud of smoke fills the now revealed doorway.]
Stuffher: About to enter the wrestling area, he is BACW’s reigning 4 Corner Regional champion! Give it up for “Beast Master” Orge Lambart!
[Two figures emerge from the backstage area, the first one, is a rather short man. His shoulders are slouched over and he has on a brimmed hat. As the figure comes into focus the fans notice the trademarked white and black painted face of “The Preacher”. He has on a long black priest gown a red bow tie and in his left hand he holds a bible.]
Besolve: If they start passing a basket around, I’m punching someone in the face.
Promo: Why so hostile?
Besolve: Because I don’t want to be here Paul, that’s why!
[Following behind him is Orge Lambert; he has on a neatly pressed black suit with a red tie which hangs down over his white undershirt. Orge has on a pair of shiny black shoes and also holds a bible in his left hand. As the two men reach the top of the ramp way, Orge holds the bible high above his head and screams out “Praise the Lord”.]
Crowd: [Mixed reaction of boos and cheers]
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
[The lights in the arena shut down leaving the crowd in the dark, and as the bright flashes light start to burst throughout the cheat seats, streaks of lighting are summoned to the entrance way. The sound of waves crashing along with the sound of thunder and howling winds are soon joined by a shrill of sirens echoing though out the building.]
#SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU...SHUT UP....SHUT UP...SHUT UP...SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!
[The fans start to boo at the mere sight of McClain, which is like music to his ears. McClain slowly raises both arms high into the air as the crowd roars with their disapproval. As he makes the slow walk to the ring, the multi-colored lights start to glisten off his skin. He's dressed in a pair of white tights. On his left leg of his tights in a blood red lettering, and outlined in gold is his name, "CRIPPLER", and on his opposite leg, in the same blood red material and outlined in gold is a modified cross surrounded in flames. His white paten leather boots bare the same cross as his tights in a red paten leather color. McClain has his wrist and forearms tapped in a heavy black tape. His short bleach blonde hair dangles slightly over his silver-framed Oakley's, hiding his cold ice-white eyes from the fans behind the shimmering ice iridium lens.]
#I NEED A LITTLE ROOM TO BREAK, BECAUSE I'M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I'M ABOUT TO...BREAK!
Stuffher: From Houston, Texas… he is BACW’s number one contender… “The Crippler” Matt McClain!
Promo: McClain is still furious over what just happened a few moments ago.
Besolve: The man melted his wedding ring! Tore up pictures of his family! Mocked and violated his personal life, and if you know anything about The Crippler, it’s that he doesn’t involve his personal life with his business life. Specter’s has played a very dangerous card here in this battle to get inside the head of Matt McClain, but the only question I have is… does McClain hold the river card in this game of chance?
Promo: I couldn’t agree with you more Darrel. Next month is the end of the line for Matt McClain and either he’s going to get the job done, or Spectre’s going to continue on his amazing reign as BACW Heavyweight champion.
[With the arena lights now switched to gold, and “Jesus Christ Superstar” blaring into the background, out walks BACW’s Newest Star “Superstar” Alec Ace, to a huge round of applauds.]
Crowd: ACE! ACE! ACE!
Stuffher: From Tampa Bay, Florida… standing 6 feet 4 inches and weighing a solid 246 pounds! He is the former BACE 4 Corners Regional champion! “Superstar” Alec Ace!
Crowd: YEAH!
Alec Ace: [Smirking and pointing into the crowd with both index fingers] You know it people! You know it!
Promo: I love what Alec Ace brings to the ring.
Besolve: In what kind of a way?
Promo: You know you just ruined my entire train of thought!
Besolve: Promo Alec Ace is a Darrel Besolve clone who wants to be me and wants to accomplish what I have accomplished. Not to say I’m not a good role model, but seriously Paul, there’s only one me.
[Without any fanfare.]
Stuffher: The final combatant to entire the ring is Tim Spears!
Besolve: Anything to say about Tim?
Promo: Not really.
Besolve: I can always get the superhero’s to help turn that frown upside-down. Hey Universe Man, I have an announcer in some desperate need of cheering up! Can you help him?
Universe Man: [Bouncing over to the announcer’s table with a few gigantic strides.] How can I help you fine citizen?
Besolve: This guy lost his train of thought and needs your help.
UM: [Flopping down on Promo lap and putting on a headset] I’ll sit right here and help you Mr. Promo, but if my partner needs my help, I’ll have to leap into action to save the day!
Besolve: How’s that Promo?
Promo: [Turning red and barely able to speak] Yo- y- you- you’re crushing me!
UM: [Whispering] Try to think light, it helps Particle Man all the time.
DING! DING! DING!
UM: The official just rang the bell! Holy barbwire blood bath Darrel! Here we GO!
Promo: [Now the shade of purple he squeaks out] That’s my…. Liiine! [Cough!] [Gasp!]
[Charging into the center of the ring, all eight wrestlers move strategically away from the barbwire and slugging it out, Acorn pairs up with Lambart, Spears takes a stand against Kimo, Ross and Ace exchange chops, and Particle Man tries to do battle with Matt McClain.]
Besolve: Newton drives Spears into the corner and slicing into another knife edge chop, Spears returns fire with a chop of his own!
Promo: Newton!
Crowd: BOO!
Promo: Spears!
Crowd: YEAH!
Promo: Newton!
Crowd: BOO!
Promo: Spears!
Crowd: YEAH!
UM: All this chopping Fig Newtons is making me hungry.
Promo: [Still struggling to breathe] My legs are going numb!
UM: Mr. Besolve, do you have a dollar for some cotton candy?
Darrel: I don’t touch regular money, it’s too dirty.
UM: [Puzzled expression]
[Rake of the eyes on Spears stops Tim dead in his tracks, and slamming Spears head first into the corner, Tim is immediately busted open bad!]
UM: [GASP!] That’s real barbwire?!! I thought this was supposed to be fake! [Leaping into a superhero pose.] Holy hoodwinked! I must alert Particle Man to this danger!
[Leaping into action Universe Man leaves Promo barely able to speak.]
Promo: [Slumping over] Don’t come back!
Besolve: Fans, Universe Man just went to the ring and he’s trying to get Particle Man’s attention. This guy is too much. How you holding up Promo?
Promo: Can’t… feel… the legs.
Crowd: OH!
[Ace with a boot to the stomach of Chris Ross doubles over the big man and carefully going up to the top turnbuckle, Ross lunges forward crotching Ace onto the barbwire turnbuckle!]
Ace: [Crazy eyes] AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Crowd: NO!
Besolve: I hope Ace wasn’t planning on having children!
Promo: [Cough!] I know how he feels… [Cough!]
[Motioning to Particle Man by executing huge giant like jumping jacks, Universe Man gets the attention of his partner in crime.]
UM: [Sending hand signals towards the ring] Particle Man, its real barbwire! You must save everyone from harms way! Here! Take these!
[Sliding a small pair of wire cutters into the ring, Particle Man executes his super flexible abilities in an attempt to save BACW’s stars from harm. As McClain reaches back to level Particle Man with a heavy handed hay maker, the superhero does a split and crawls through his legs. Taking possession of the snips, Particle Man immediately cuts one of the barbwire ropes freeing Ace from his testicular torture.]
Besolve: Look at PM striking a pose; he’s so proud of…
Promo: [Finally recovered.] Look out!
Crowd: OH NO!
UM: [GASP!] DRAT!
[From the side with a running big boot to the face is a pissed off Chris Ross and as the move is played back in slow motion for the viewers at home, you can see Particle Man’s entire body jerk off the canvas in 360 like fashion. Pulling Particle Man up by the head, Ross flings him over the barbwire like a rag doll.]
UM: [Pulling down the catcher’s mask] I’m coming!
Promo: Particle Man has been eliminated!
Besolve: The crowd is stirring and I don’t believe it, Universe Man just caught his partner and he’s putting him back into the ring! Particle Man has not been eliminated and as goofy as these guys are, this unorthodox style of wrestling really seems to be working.
Promo: Do you just say that?
Besolve: E-GADS! I believe I did! [Shaking his head] Now they have me doing it!
[Still looking for control, Acorn goes into an arm ringer on Orge Lambart and thrusting forward looking to execute a short arm clothesline; Lambart avoids the decapitation countering with a sleeper hold! Wrapping his legs around Randy’s waist and bringing him to canvas, Lambart quickly breaks the move and takes hold of the strand of barbwire lying next to a still struggling Alec Ace. Wrapping it around his fist, Orge motions to the crowd and they respond.]
Crowd: Orge! Orge! Orge!
UM: Fine citizen! Please don’t do that… that’s real barbwire!
Orge: [Making the sign of the cross] The power of Christ compels you!
[Propping Acorn up against bottom rope, Orge reaches back with a barbwire covered fist and firing into Acorn’s face…]
[POOF!]
Crowd: BOO!
Promo: Lambart hits a pillow?
Besolve: I don’t believe me eyes. Did UM just put a pillow in front of the face of Randy Acorn?
Promo: I believe he did!
Besolve: I’m at a loss for words.
[Acorn quickly counters with a rake of the eyes and Orge retreats from the assault.]
Promo: Well these guys can’t stop all the carnage because look at the blood covered Tim Spears getting his head handed to him by both Hawaiian Hustlers! It’s a two on one and Spears is in a ton of trouble!
Ross: [Motioning with his hands to Kimo] Hold him up!
Kimo: [Pulling back Tim’s arms from behind] YEAH DAWG! BIG BOOT HIM!
[Backing up and rumbling across the logo, Ross raises the big boot, but Spears ducks causing Chris to connect with his partner’s face! Falling backwards towards a section of barb, Particle Man sees the danger and snipping another strand of barb, Kimo flips over the second rope landing outside of the ring.]
Promo: There it is folks; Kimo Newton has been eliminated from the contest.
[Ross is completely distracted, and this gives McClain the opening to take hold of a side waist lock. Arching backwards, he dumps the Hawaiian right onto his head and the crowd appears to be stunned by the strength coming from Matt McClain. Spears is still shocked and laughing at Kimo Newton, he forgets he’s still in a match!]
Besolve: Here comes Alec Ace from behind Spears!
Promo: Ace with a high knee to the back of Tim’s head and flipping over the ropes…
Crowd: OH!
[Rotating over the top of the barbwire, the camera catches Tim’s back getting torn open.]
Promo: OH MY GOD!!!!
Besolve: A huge gash opens up on the back of Tim Spears and the medical team really needs to get out here fast!
[Inside the ring, Ross motions for Kimo to tear Spears to shreds.]
Kimo: [Kicking Spears] Yeah dawg! [Kicking Spears again] It’s not so funny now huh?
Security: Get off him Kimo and get into the back.
[Piling onto Kimo, the security stops the assault as the match continues inside the barbwire prison.]
Promo: Security has tackled Kimo Newton off Tim Spears and just like that, this match is beginning to turn into an absolute blood bath.
Besolve: Barbwire rope matches are one of the most dangerous types of challenges in the business, and if you’re not prepared to deal with the horror this material can inflict on one’s body, you just might find yourself as hurt as Spears just did.
Promo: His back is a complete mess!
Tim Spears: Call my mother! Someone call my mother!
[Inside the ring, Particle is shocked at the brutality and taking him by the head, Ross throws him over the ropes for a second time eliminating the superhero from the contest.]
UM: [Pulling his catcher’s mask down] I got you little buddy!
Particle Man: [Landing in UM arms] Thank you ole chum, there is still danger in the ring, get me back in there so I may help my fellow roster mates!
Besolve: UM caught Particle Man again?
Promo: They are persistent.
Besolve: Persistently annoying!
[Throwing Particle Man back into the ring for a second time and avoiding elimination, a furious Chris Ross delivers a nasty head butt to the face of the now bloody Alec Ace.]
UM: [Tossing in a bag] Take this Particle Man!
Besolve: Are those thumb tacks? Wait a minute, are the good guys cheating?
[Running boot to the side of Particle Man’s head knocks the bag from his hands and shaking his head, Ross tell UM there will be no bag of marbles in this match. Pointing to Ace and running his thumb across his throat, Ross refocuses on BACW’s Newest rising star.]
Promo: Off the canvas comes Alec by the throat and lifting him into the air, here comes the CHOKE SLAM!
Chris Ross: [Crippling to one knee and releasing the hold] UGH!
Besolve: No, Ross is crippled to the ground just in the nick of time!
Promo: From behind with a chop block, Randy Acorn goes low on the big Hawaiian and Ross is now limping around the ring. On the canvas choking, is Alec Ace who should consider himself extremely lucky and…
[Leaping off the turnbuckle and spinning into a 360 degree axe kick, a wobbly Particle Man levels Chris Ross right on the top of his head!]
Promo: Ross staggers backwards and he’s getting awful close to that bag of marbles!
Besolve: He can’t avoid it!
[SNAP!]
[CRASH!]
[THUMP!]
Ross: UGH!
Promo: Losing his balance and falling through an entire section of barbwire, the Elks Lodge becomes unglued! How in the world?
Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!
Particle Man: Holy Hannibal, my God, what have I done!
Promo: Chris Ross has been eliminated by Particle Man I don’t believe it!
Chris Ross: [Writhing in the barbwire entanglement.] AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Besolve: Good grief, look at this replay!
Promo: Stepping on the bag of marbles, Chris Ross’s momentum drove him through an entire section of barbwire!
Besolve: On the floor and still tangled in this maze of razor wire, listen to shrieks!!
Ross: KIMO!!!!! AAAAGH!!!! AAAH!!!!! GET IT OFF!!!!!!!! GET IT OFF!!!!
Promo: BACW seconds are frantically trying to release Ross from this barbwire hell and inside the ring believe it or not, this match is still continuing!
Besolve: Some superhero!
[Now in the center of the logo, Particle strikes a pose apparently happy that he has eliminated some of the evil but unhappy that someone is suffering as a result.]
Besolve: Particle Man better watch out.
Promo: From behind its Orge Lambart with a reverse scoop slam and dropping Particle Man right onto his face, that had to take the wind from his sails.
Besolve: Orge better look out because here’s Alec Ace from behind!
[Lambart ducks the clothesline, and Ace’s momentum carries him into the arms of Matt McClain! Belly to belly suplex by The Crippler on Alec Ace skips the superstar across the canvas and stopping to argue with the crowd, Acorn takes advantage of McClain’s bad temper by sending him to the logo with a running drop kick to the head.]
Promo: This battle is heating up and as more people are eliminated, the more forming an alliance is going to be a very important part of this winning this match.
Besolve: I’m honestly concerned about the gash that just formed on Alec Ace’s forehead courtesy of Randy Acorn and those strands of barbwire made available to the wrestlers by Particle Man’s tin snips. People need to start growing eyes in the back of their heads, or someone’s going to get hurt again!
[Stomping down on the arms, neck, head, and legs of McClain, Lambart lowers a knee to the bridge of McClain’s nose and the crippler is grounded. Pulling Matt back to his feet, Orge has the wind knocked from his sails as Randy Acorn goes into his testicular region from behind.]
Besolve: OH! Not to the little solider!
Promo: Orge didn’t move?
Besolve: Either he’s not human or he’s mastered the balls of steel!
[Turning to with a smile across his face, Randy kicks Orge square in the crotch AGAIN but Orge shakes his head no! Reaching into his pants and removing an athletic cup, Orge delivers a kick of his own doubling over Acorn. Jamming Randy’s head between his thighs, Lambart cranks up the Newark Badboy into the crown of thorns pile driver, but Particle Man comes into view pleading with Lambart to release the hold.]
PM: [Getting into superhero position] Fine citizen, think about what you are doing! You might not know it, but this is REAL barbwire! Management has tricked us!
Lambart: GET OUT OF MY WAY YOU FREAK!
Promo: Hold the phone Batman, Acorn reverses his position on Lambart and he’s arching upwards!
Besolve: Back body drop by Randy Acorn sends Orge Lambart up and over the top ropes and WOW the regional champion has been eliminated!
PM: [GASP!] By God, I’ve done it again! Double DRAT!
[Reaching his hand out to shake Particle Man’s hand, the crowd tries to warn our superhero not to do it.]
Crowd: NO!
[Acorn reaches his hand out again offering his thank you for a second time and Particle Man looks confused.]
Particle Man: Universe Man, could this be a trick?
Crowd: BOO!
[Finally accepting the peace offering, Randy embraces the superhero and leaning to the side, tosses Particle Man to over the ropes and down onto the floor finally eliminating our superhero from the battle royal.]
Promo: That was just dirty.
Besolve: Did he honestly think Acorn was capable of compassion?
[On the outside, Particle Man puts his hand on his hip, and wagging his finger at Randy, heads towards the back with Universe Man bouncing behind him.]
Promo: So we are now left with the number one contender Matt McClain, BACW’s Newest rising star Alec Ace, and Newark’s bad boy Randy Acorn.
Besolve: Wait a minute, what’s going on here?!
[Nodding their collective heads, Acorn and Ace charge McClain pushing him into the corner. McClain fights back by raking the eyes of Acorn and dragging Alec’s already busted open head along the top of the barbwire, the crowd continues to boo.]
Crowd: OH!
Promo: Alternating punches by McClain but Randy is fighting back! The two are locked up against the barb and they’re trying to tear each other limb from limb!
Besolve: A blood caked Alec Ace staggers to his feet and from behind, he summons the strength to lift McClain off his feet!
Promo: Matt’s going to be eliminated!
Besolve: He’s not letting go of Randy!
Acorn: [Staring into the ringside crowd] What the hell are you doing here?
[Tumbling to the floor, Acorn and McClain hit the concrete and the referee immediately begins to call for the bell.]
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Referee: [Waving his hands] That’s it! We have a winner!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the battle Royal, and wrestler who will face both Spectre and Matt McClain for BACW’s Heavyweight championship! BACW’s Newest Rising Star - “Superstar” Alec Ace!
Crowd: YEAH! Ace! Ace! Ace
Promo: Darrel, could we be looking at the next big thing here in BACW?
Besolve: We very well could be Paul.
Promo: Alec Ace has come into BACW when it seems most are distracted with outside influences and he has literally taken the bull by the horns. BACW is not longer a place where Alec Ace is a mid-carder, because quite frankly, I think BACW has become a federation that Alec Ace believes he was born to lead.
Darrel: I have seen these types of guys come into BACW before with all the fanfare and glitz only to have their flame extinguished in the end. Alec Ace should enjoy this win tonight because if I know this roster like I think I do, they are going to come back with viciousness like Ace has never seen before.
Promo: Well folks, as the ring it’s cleared and wiped down, it’s time for us to take a break, but before we go, we would like to stay congratulations to Ric Righteous, for becoming our newest BACW Hall of Fame inductee. Congratulations Mr. Righteous, you are truly a man who deserves this honor. Let’s take you back to that magical moment that happened just a few days ago when Ric Righteous, was finally immortalized in our most treasured of areas.
[Taped footage from BACW Knyte Awards]
[From the rafters Particle Man swoops in on a rope landing behind Batee he snatches the envelope from the owner.]
Particle Man: Fear not citizens I will not allow this petulant, power hungry, pissant corrupt this fine awards show with his chicanery and ego. The newest inductee into the Hall of Fame is…
[Particle Man’s eyes widen.]
Particle Man: Ric Righteous! E-GADS! What have I done?!
Batee: Why you little meandering, masked, midget, I will destroy you for this!
[“Jesus Christ Superstar” blares through the theatre as Ric Righteous approaches the podium, Batee with his back turned to him, now has his grubby hand on the cape of Particle Man, Ric taps him on the shoulder. Batee’s eyes widen, he swallows a lump, and then cautiously turns around.]
Ric: Batee, you’re in my spot.
Batee: Uhhh…
Ric: How’s it going bud?
Batee: I… I didn’t mean what… I…
Ric: Yeah yeah, we’ve heard it all before, just hit the bricks and let me have my moment you Colonel Sanders, looking, Good Humor truck driving, twinkie eating troll before I let you enjoy some brutality.
[Ric smiles a cocky smile as Batee turns to retreat from the stage, as Ric picks up his HOF plaque and stands at the podium. A single tear trickles down his right cheek as the fans applaud wildly.]
Ric: When I came to BACW, my purpose was to dominate, to show the world that I belonged with the elite, and to make a mark on this industry… but this moment, this night. Well this is happiness; this is the end of my pursuing of it. I reached my purpose, I made my goals and I climbed to the top of my own personal mountain. My name will lie next to the greats of BACW for eternity, I take my place on the mount Olympus of wrestling with men I bleed with, men I fought with and a man I will go to war with at the Grinder. This makes all the sacrifices worth it; this is sweet vindication for all the hardships of my life in this sport. Whether it is motivation, competition, or any other sacrifice I had to make, those people made me as much as I did them. I deserve this, I earned it and I’m a Hall of Famer now… because I’m Professional Wrestling Messiah…
Ric & Fans: ‘Live it! Love it! Learn it! Because there isn’t a fucking thing you can do about it!
Ric: Thank You.
[Ric takes his leave from the stage as the crowd, fans and peers alike rise to their feet with a standing ovation that sets off the water works, tears streaming down his face. Fireworks burst into the air as fans rush the stage in celebration.]
[Fade back into the arena]
Promo: Folks we are back, and because Alec Ace was so severally injured during that match, he has been rushed to the hospital. However, we did get a brief statement from his manager Benny Goodman and he has assured us, Alec Ace will be ready to go at Last Rites.
Besolve: Ace is calling himself “BACW’s Newest Rising Star” and I just hope he’s able to live up to that very egotistical nickname. Wait until Sam Natas he’s about this!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Promo: I’m sure all the BACW veterans are going to take exception to that moniker. Well the bell has rung, and it’s time to go to the ring, for the introductions, to our main event.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Michael Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is our main event of the evening and it’s for BACW’s Tag Team championship! Coming down the isle, from the dirtiest place in Arkansas, they are the former BACW Tag Team Champions, Sam Natas – Blood Thrilla – Misanthropic!
Crowd: YEAH!
[Storming the ring to “Let’s go to War” by the Murder Dolls, both men bound off the ropes until the frenzy simmers down.]
Stuffher: And there opponents!
Crowd: BOO!
Stuffher: Making their first title defense, Handsome Mike – Pretty Pete – The Beautiful People!
Crowd: BOO!
Promo: Here they come down the isle and are you kidding me? Are they combing each others hair?
Besolve: You know that’s just too close to gay for me to comment on.
Promo: I’m going to ignore you said that Mr. Besolve and pray you never go there again.
Besolve: What are you gay?
Promo: No I’m not gay, but what if I was? Who cares!
Besolve: I’m not judging you Promo, I’m just saying if you are, I would like to know.
Promo: We’re not going to continue this line of harassment Mr. Besolve and I’m moving on with the show. Into the ring come the champions and wow, do these people hate these guys or what?
[Checking their hair with a hand held mirror, and finally agreeing on whose better looking, they hand the titles to the referee who holds them high into the air.]
Promo: The referee has shown us the prize, and he’s turning towards the timekeeper to call for the bell! It’s The Beautiful People verses Misanthropic for BACW’s tag team championship, and here we GO!
[Circling the ring, both men lock up over the logo immediately engaging in an aggressive push and pull collar tie. Side headlock by Handsome Mike gives the good looking champion an early advantage and cranking downward in a semi circle over the ears, Blood Thrilla tries to relief the pressure mounting against the side of his vulnerable temples.]
Promo: The smaller challenger needs to be careful in the early stages of this match because although these two guys seem to be having a few issues outside the ring, inside the ring, they still appear to be a cohesive unit.
Besolve: At least that’s what it looked like during their entrance. One holding the mirror, the other combing his hair, pretty much didn’t seem to be problem as far as I can see.
[Breaking the hold, Blood Thrilla pushes Mike into the ropes and coming off fast on the rebound, B.T. springs over his opponent with an athletic leap frog.]
Promo: Off the opposite nylon and back towards the logo, here comes the train wreck in the center of the ring!
[THUD!]
Crowd: OH!
Thrilla: [Crippling to the ground] UGH!
Besolve: What a tough love shoulder block to the face by Handsome Mike on B.T. and asking the crowd if his hair is messed up, well that’s typical for a team that calls themselves The Beautiful People.
Promo: Give them a few years in BACW and we’ll see how beautiful they are.
Besolve: Don’t be a hater Promo.
[Pressing his boot downward with the aid of the ropes, Mike steps on the forehead of Thrilla digging into the first layer of his opponent’s flesh. Continuing to grind downward with the toe of his boot, Mike drops down with a hard knee to the nose and immediately goes for the pin.
Promo: Here’s the cover and press!
Referee: One… Two… Thre..
Besolve: Into the ring comes Sam Natas to break up the count and something just doesn’t seem right with Thrilla. I mean look at him Paul, zero offense and zero in the form counter ability.
Promo: The only thing I can think of is this size difference is really affecting what moves he believes he can execute.
Besolve: Bullshit Paul, the man hasn’t even pulled off a simple wrist lock. In my opinion is he’s getting overwhelmed by a better wrestler and if I were B.T. I would be looking for a tag before the inevitable happens.
[Waving off the count, the referee forces Natas back into his corner, and leaving Thrilla unattended, into the ring comes an illegal Pretty Pete!]
Sam Natas: [Protesting as he exits the ring] He’s got him by the hair!
Promo: From the apron, up and…
[THUMP!]
Crowd: OH!
Thrilla: [Writhing on the canvas]
Besolve: Take two aspirins and call me in the morning, choke slam by Pretty Pete hurts B.T. bad and Promo, this might be all she wrote!
[In the corner, the referee questions Pete looking for an admittance of guilt.]
Referee: Did you hit him?!
Pretty Pete: Me? NO! Ask the crowd!
Crowd: BOO!
Referee: [Meet the Parents motion] I’m watching you!
Promo: Thrilla can’t take much more, and Handsome Mike is hooking the leg! Here’s the cover and the count!
Referee: One… Two… Thre…
Thrilla: [Thrilla moves his foot towards the ropes.] AOGH!
Crowd: OH!
Referee: [Waving his hands in the air and pointing to the bottom nylon] Foot on the rope, only two, continue the match, only two.
Beoslve: Excellent sense of ring awareness from Blood Thrilla but the fact remains, this kid just can’t seem to get his mojo in gear.
Promo: Yeah Baby!
Besolve: Leave the color commentary to me.
Promo: Why?
Besolve: Well let’s see, your train wreck comment just brought the show to a screeching halt?
[Continuing to cut off the ring, it’s Handsome Mike who tosses Thrilla into his corner with a thud!]
Promo: My God, did you see that son of a bitch Pretty Pete; put his boot into the back of Blood Thrilla! That’s just uncalled for!
Besolve: Promo, this is called tag team wrestling so don’t blame Mike and Pete because B.T. can’t tag Sam Natas into the match.
Promo: I know its tag team wrestling Darrel, but my point is they’re cheating!
Besolve: Honestly Promo, what part of this federation’s name don’t you understand?
[Inside the ring, Mike pushes Thrilla back towards the logo where Handsome Mike is lying in wait.]
Handsome Mike: ARRRRRGH!!!!
[CRUNCH!]
Blood Thrilla: GAH!
Promo: Reverse spine buster hits the mark, and folks Thrilla is starting to spit blood up all over the ring.
Besolve: Misanthropic’s biggest mistake thus far was not allowing Sam Natas to start off this contest for the challengers because when faced with a veteran team like Mike and Pete, Natas might have been their only hope of winning.
Promo: I agree Sam Natas is a huge man who just wouldn’t be getting man handled like his son is.
[In the background, you can see Mike hooking the leg after a series of mounted punches.]
Mike: Count him referee!
Referee: 1… 2…
Sam: [Through the ropes and racing across the ring] UGH!
Crowd: YEAH!
Referee: Natas if I have to tell you one more time to get out of this ring, I’m going to disqualify your team! One more time!
Sam Natas: Screw you referee!
Referee: One more time!
Promo: And once again it’s Sam Natas who enters the ring illegally to break up the count, but still inside the ring his son Blood Thrilla is showing no signs of fight.
Besolve: Might I add that Sam Natas has been entering the ring illegitimately! And speaking of illegitimate, why don’t you ever call Misanthropic out for cheating? Natas has broken up the count three times, but you haven’t said anything when it comes to them cheating. Why is that Promo?
Promo: Please don’t question my integrity Mr. Besolve, I know exactly what I’m doing, and I know exactly what’s going on inside the ring!
[Dragging Thrilla to his feet after the referee escorts a very angry Sam Natas back into his corner.]
Referee: TAG!
[Handsome Mike rattles the spine of Blood Thrilla with a picture perfect power bomb and putting the 5 count on Mike, the referee is helpless to stop Pretty Pete from soaring over his head.]
Crowd: OH!
Promo: Pete connects with a textbook leg drop across the chest of Blood Thrilla and kicking Thrilla back into their corner, Mike immediately begins putting the boots to the evil one’s son. Blood Thrilla has gotten his head handed to him from the get go and from the looks of things, this match isn’t going to go on much longer.
Besolve: B.T. is hurt, but he’s also got the fear of Sam Natas in the back of his head and Promo, I don’t like Sam Natas, but he’s going to get into this match one way or another.
Promo: Oh no! Pete just spit on Natas and here comes the big man with steam bellowing out of his ears back into the ring!
Besolve: Natas is pissed!
Promo: The man has a good reason to be.
[Once again forced to turn his attention towards Natas, the referee is blinded from the illegal action in the ring and doesn’t see the terrifying back breaker delivered by Pretty Pete. Feeling the impact and with Natas out of the ring, the referee immediately warns the champions about complying with the rules.]
Referee: If I see that again you’re both done!
Pretty Pete: For what?
Handsome Mike: Yeah for what?
Referee: One more time! You want to test me? One more time!
Crowd: BOO!
Promo: As the crowd starts to rumble trying to get behind a severely beaten Blood Thrilla…
Crowd: OH!
Promo: Thrilla hits the turnbuckle with a thud, courtesy of an Irish whip and…
Besolve: …And that settles the crowd back down. Blood Thrilla is completely gassed and in just a few moments, you’re going to find out why these two gentlemen are the champs.
[With Thrilla slumped over in the corner, here comes Pete with a head full of steam!]
Promo: Using the ropes to lift into the air, Blood Thrilla leap frogs over Mike’s and the handsome one hits the ring post shoulder first!
Besolve: Can he make the tag?
Promo: The crowd is begging Blood Thrilla to make the exchange but he doesn’t seem to have the strength! Natas stretches over the ropes, wiggling his fingers begging his son to dig down deep!
Besolve: Do you think he’s going to make it?
Crowd: [Stomping with excitement]
Promo: I do! I think he’s going to make it! Blood Thrilla is up and he’s shaking mad!
[Into the ring without a tag comes Handsome Mike with a lunging spear but Blood Thrilla somersaults the move. With the momentum behind him, BT hurls himself towards a screaming Sam Natas…]
Crowd: YEAH!
Promo: He makes the tag!!!
Promo: Here comes a fired up Sam Natas and Handsome Mike goes down hard courtesy of a clothesline! Pete charges with little energy from the side, but Natas is quick to greet him with a Three Hundred and Sixty degree sidewalk slam!!!
Besolve: Both champions stagger to their feet and wobbling onto the logo, Sam takes them by the hair looking for the crowd’s approval.
Promo: OH! Double head butt puts both men down flat on their collective a*ses!
Crowd: Sam! Sam! Sam!
Besolve: And, that is why Sam Natas needed to start off this contest for his team. Look at the power from this mammoth man wearing down and getting into the head of both champions.
[Natas is going nuts-o unloading wild kick after wild stomp, and alternating with hard combat boots to the head, the father of extreme is exorcising the beautiful people!]
Promo: Off the canvas comes Mike and tossing him into the corner…
Besolve: BT has the sledge hammer!
Promo: Mike can’t stop his… OH... momentum and down to both knees and into the corner falls one half of BACW’s tag team champions.
Mike: [Arching his back in pain] AAAAGHHHHH!!!!!
Besolve: Handsome Mike is hurt and rolling from the ring and onto the floor, an exhausted BT lowers a double stomp off the apron!
Mike: UGH!!!!! MY GOD!!! [COUGH!]
Promo: Talk about driving home your point! Wow did you see that Darrel?
Besolve: Handsome Mike is like a wounded duck and this just might be the break the challengers have been waiting for since the opening bell.
[Under the apron and pulling out a table, the satanic father & son team are ready to get extreme. Working over the champions with a pair of gut wrench suplexes, the fans begins to get behind Misanthropic and the challengers begin to work in tandem like a well oiled machine!]
Promo: Double clothesline sends Pretty Peter head over heels and folks, I think Pete’s hair finally got messed up!
Besolve: Natas rolls back into the ring and here he comes again!
Crowd: [Stomping]
Besolve: Full steam ahead!
Natas: ARRRRGH!!!!!
[THUD!]
Mike: AURHG!
[THUMP!]
Promo: Big boot by Natas inside the ring on Pretty Pete is followed by a hard DDT onto the logo and Natas is now looking for a table!
Natas: Son, get the god damn tables!
Crowd: YEAH!
Besolve: Blood Thrilla just rolled Pretty Pete back into the ring and this can’t be good.
Promo: Setting up the surface of extreme in the corner of the ring, the hulking Natas scoops Pete off the canvas and carrying him on his shoulders in fireman’s carry position, tells Thrilla to move out of his way.
Besolve: Natas couldn’t be trying to climb the ropes could he?
Promo: There’s no telling what the nut is capable of doing!
Crowd: [Stomping and clapping in place.] Jump! Jump! Jump!
Promo: The crowd has begun to stir once again and…
Darrel: What the hell!
Natas: AH! MY EEEEEYES!
Crowd: OH!
Promo: Chris Ross and Kimo Newton [The Hawaiian Hustlers] have charged the ring from the crowd and throwing Jamaican Jerk Powder into the face of Sam Natas…]
Crowd: OH!
Besolve: There goes Handsome Mike over the turnbuckle and out of the ring!
[CLANG!]
Besolve: Wow, I think Handsome Mike just collided into the steel stairs and Paul, he appears to be knocked out cold!
Promo: Into the ring comes Blood Thrilla but Sam Natas is tipping backwards!
Besolve: He still can’t see from the powder!
Promo: Thrilla’s rushing into the ring but he’s not going to his partner in tiiiiime…
[CRACK!!!!]
Crowd: WOW! Bad ASS Wrestlin! Bad ASS Wrestlin! Bad ASS Wrestlin!
Promo: OH! MY GOD!!!!!
Besolve: Through the table with a sick thud and…
[THUD!!!]
Crowd: OH!
Promo: Ross just ran over Thrilla from the blind side! Ross tosses Prette Pete onto a limp Blood Thrilla and no, not like this!
Besolve: The referee pounds the canvas!
Referee: 1… 2… 3…
Promo: My god I don’t believe it! Chris Ross just cost the challengers a chance at BACW’s championship belts!
Stuffher: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the bout, and STILL BACW Tag Team Champions… Handsome Mike & Pretty Pete, The Beautiful People!
Promo: What a bunch of malarkey! Chris Ross just cost Misanthropic a chance to repeat as champions, and still inside the ring, oh come on Ross!
Besolve: He’s got Pete up in the air!
Ross: ARRGHH!!!!
[THUMP!]
Crowd: OH!
Promo: WIPE out! Wipe out Wiippppe oooout!!
Besolve: Take a breath Paul because the Hustlers have the titles and as they take hold of the gold hoisting the belts up into the air, listen to this crowd boo The Hawaiian Hustlers.
Crowd: Ass-hooooles! Ass-hooooles! Ass-hooooles!
Promo: Folks we are completely out of time, but won’t you join us next month from Albuquerque New Mexico’s U.S. Airway Center, when BACW brings to our next ipay per view entitled, Last Rites … My lord is there anyone who can stop The Hawaiian Hustlers from achieve their goals, of becoming BACW Tag Team Champions?!
end TVMA
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