BACW Presents:
American Bad A** - Live on Pay Per View
Philadelphia Civic Arena - Philadelphia, PA

Part 1 - Scared Straight

[A staggered view puts us behind Mr. Batee who’s fast walking down the hallway with a crowd of security trotting alongside of him. Dabbing his forehead with his handkerchief as he nervously swivels his head from side to side, BACW’s Owner is in complete panic mode. Something or someone has been looking for him, and since Exuwa’s arrival in professional wrestling’s official stomp hall, wrestlers have been reporting some very odd occurrences. Fumbling for his keys, a distracted Mr. Batee drops them onto the floor the result of his shaky hands.]

Mr. Batee: [Looking through the legs his security] My God, I can’t believe this is happening to me. Too many lunatics and not enough orderlies! I have to get inside my office and lock myself away from all this craziness.

[Bending down, the head of security tilts his glasses downward.]

Head of Security: Relax Sir, nothing is getting by us!

Mr. Batee: That’s what Saddam Huss-an said before we found him hiding in that tiny bunker.

[Recovering the keys to his private office, you are able hear screaming in the back ground. Something or someone is coming.]

[CRASH!]

[SMASH!]

Head of Security: [Peeling off a set of 5 men] Go find out what that is and report back to me.

[The group of “men in black” trot off as a panicked Batee continues to fidget on the floor. Off to the side, a janitor looks on from behind his mop. Off in the distance, the security team can be heard meeting resistance.]

[CRASH!]

Guard #1: Get him!

[SMASH!]

Guard #2: He’s too big!

[THUMP!]

Guard #3: SHOOOOOOT HIM!

[Then silence.]

Mr. Batee: Oh my Lord all mighty… it’s him! [Turning towards the janitor] YOU!

[The Janitor crinkles his brow and leans his mop up against the wall.]

Janitor: [Puzzled] Me?

Mr. Batee: No jackass; the mop!

[The guards force the man over to where Batee is kneeling down and like a quarter back in the huddle, BACW’s Owner starts calling the play.]

Mr. Batee: [Removing his coat] Quick, put this jacket and get in this office. Whatever you do, DO NOT open this door!

Janitor: [Cramming his arms in the oversized jacket.] I’m not sure I understand…

Mr. Batee: Dang it boy… do it!

[Motioning for one of the guards to come forward into the center of the huddle]

Mr. Batee: YOU!

Security Guard: [Going down to one knee] Yes sir!

Mr. Batee: Give me your glasses, pants, jacket, and shoes.

[Holding up Mr. Batee’s Gucci’s the janitor protests.]

Janitor: I don’t mean to pry, but do you idolized Barry Manilow or something?

Mr. Batee: Barry what…

[SLAP!!]

Janitor: [Rubbing his head] OUCH!

Mr. Batee: [Shakes the white shoes] THESE… are Gucci shoes you idiot!

[Still rubbing his head from Batee’s slap the janitor shakes his head.]

Janitor: They look like ice cream man shoes if you ask me.

Mr. Batee: I’ll give you ice cream…

Janitor: Hey! ARGH! You’re hurting me!

[Shoving the janitor inside his office, Mr. Batee orders half the guards to stay put and the other half to follow him continuing down the hall. Still in the background, the violent sounds are getting louder, but who or what could be causing them?]