BACW Presents:
American Bad A** - Live on Pay Per View
Philadelphia Civic Arena - Philadelphia, PA

Part 2 -Tag, You’re It

[As Mr. Batee vanishes around the corner we can see Chris Ross storming down a hallway with his tag team partner Kimo Newton leaping up and down beside him. Ross is kicking in doors one by one and seeing the security in front of where the janitor just went in, he stops and smiles.]

Ross: Oh Batee!!! Come out come out wherever you are!!!

[Approaching the well guarded area Ross begins knocking down security guards until only the closed door stands in his way. Kimo nods his head and points to the knob.]

Kimo: Think this might be tha one dog?

Ross: All the guards… [Jiggles the handle] Door is locked… Only one way to find out!

[Knock, knock, knock]

Ross: Little pig, little pig, let me come in, or I’ll huff and I’ll puff, and I’ll kick this fucking door in!

[Silence]

Kimo: I can hear him whimpering dawg!

Ross: [Finger to mouth] SHHHH!!!

[Ross turns around and with a thunderous explosion, kicks the door off it’s hinges only to hold his head in disgust as the janitor looks down at a huge wet spot that has formed in his crotch area.]

Janitor: I was…

Ross: SHUT UP!

Janitor: Si senior.

Ross: Number 1, who in the hell are you, and why are all these guards outside this dressing room?

Janitor: [Shaking in place] I…

Ross: What part of shut up didn’t you understand?

Kimo: But you asked him a question dawg?

Ross: [Holding up his hand] Please Kimo.

Kimo: Sorry dawg.

Ross: Number 2, why are you dressed like Mr. Batee, and three, I assume you have seen him since you’re dressed up like Barry Manilow.

[The janitor goes down to both knees pleading with Ross.]

Janitor: He gave me these clothes, threw me into this room, and went down the hall. Por favor senior Ross, please don’t hurt me.

[Deep breath]

Ross: I’m not going to hurt you, but if you see Batee, tell him I’m looking for him!

[Frustrated Ross storms off kicking a trash can on his way out of the room. Looking on, Kimo stands there with a blank expression trying to come up with something else to say besides “yeah dawg”.]

[Pause]

Kimo: DA-YAMN DAWG!

[VIDEO INTRODUCTION]

E-

[Music riff]

Wrrrestling! [Echo]

[Music riff]

Dot [Echo]

[Music riff]

Org!

[Music riff]

[Cue in video clip and ignite pyrotechnics.]

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!  

Crowd: [In the background] Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling! Bad ASS Wrestling!

Paul Prominski: Hello everyone and welcome to BACW's pay per view American Bad ASS! I'm your Host Paul Prominiski AKA The Promo Machine, and tonight we are coming to you live from the Philadelphia Civic Arena located in right here in the downtown part of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! We are SOLD OUT and before we run down the show, it’s my pleasure to introduce to you our Co-Host for the evening, Easy Eric Danger!  

Eric Danger: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! American Bad ASS is finally here and the only thing I want to see is Darrel Besolve’s ass plunge to his death from 20 feet above the arena floor! I’m tired of seeing The Boy Blunder in BACW and if Spectre loses his title, I’ll quit announcing TVMA for-EVER!  

Promo: Is that a promise?  

ED: It’s not only a promise Promo, but I’ll even date your ugly sister if Spectre doesn’t retain.  

Promo: You know there’s something not correct about what you just said right?  

ED: [Shrugs]  

Promo: [Reshuffling his papers] Do me a favor and hold onto that empty thought for a minute because before we get into our main event, my ugly sister, and Besolve’s soon to be death via a scaffold fall, let’s talk about…  

[The lights dim right in the middle of Promo’s opening statement and “Beautiful People” by Black Eyed Peas hits the PA system followed by the appearance of Pretty Pete who’s wheeling his partner Handsome Mike out onto the ramp in a wheel chair.]  

Crowd: [YEAH!]  

[The crowd cheers the champions as they approach the ring and unable to climb the steel stairs because of the wheel chair, Pete calls for the microphone handing it to a somber looking Mike. Half shaking his head, Mike gazes into the camera with a frown fighting back what appear to be real tears.]  

Handsome Mike: Ladies and Gentlemen, I regret to inform you that tonight it will not be The Beautiful People that come out here to face Hawaiian Hustlers for BACW’s Tag Team Championship.  

Crowd: [BOO!]  

Mike: Instead, Mr. Batee has allowed us to find replacements to defend our titles.  

Crowd: [BOO!]  

[Concerned that the fans are upset, Pretty Pete grabs the microphone from his partner holding his hand up into the air.]  

Pretty Pete: Hold on, wait a minute. Before you boo us into the back, let me at least introduce the man who is going to lead the team that’s going to defeat The Hawaiian Hustlers and in the process, defend our tag team titles for us! Ladies and gentlemen, the masked freak, and OUR new manager, EXUWA!

Promo: Oh my God, please tell me the Beautiful People just didn’t hire that lunatic that’s been running around BACW for the past two months with a basket of lotion?

ED: I hope these guys realize they’re making a deal with the devil.  

[“Mein Tiel” by Ramstein hits the PA system and with a violent explosion, the entrance ramp explodes into a massive fireball. As the smoke clears, there rising from the floor is the bizarre Exuwa. Pete moves behind the wheelchair putting Mike in between him and the maniac. Not being able to run, Mike shakes in place as they watch Exuwa leisurely saunter down the ramp.]  

ED: Holy crap, I think his armor is smoking from the explosion.  

Promo: You have got to be kidding me.  

ED: Either that or he’s got really bad gas!  

Promo: [Holding up a bottle] Did you just pee into this bottle?  

ED: I meant to talk to you about that before the show.  

Promo: [Throws his papers into the air] UGH!  

[As Exuwa nears the still cowering Mike, he reaches out to Pete and rips the microphone from his hand.]  

ED: Pete looks scared!  

Promo: I’m not talking to you.  

[Pete goes underneath Mike’s chair and removes a large satin bag from the basket. Taking the tag titles out, he hands them to Exuwa who now has blood dripping from his jowls.]

Crowd: [BOO!]  

Exuwa: [Raising the titles into the air] AH! HA! HA! HA-HA-HA-HA! HAAAAA!

[BOOM!]  

[Fire shoots into the air from the turnbuckles and like Medusa, his evil laughter poisons the minds of all who continue to watch on.]  

ED: It’s confirmed, Pete and Mike have truly sold their souls to the devil but we have yet to see this man’s team. Maybe he’s going to put Satan and the Iranian leader together? I heard he was in the United States for a debate over in Columbia University.  

Promo: [Pretty much ignoring ED] I can only imagine what unholy souls he will produce later on tonight to face the Hawaiian Hustlers.

ED: This definitely gives Pete & Mike the advantage when it comes to defending the titles later on tonight.

Promo: Indeed it do give then a certain element of surprise.

[Fading out the announcers Exuwa continues.]  

Exuwa: The Face of perfection will get the job done in the form of my hell demons and Belo, from the pits of Satan’s right bosom… HE will take the place of Handsome Mike.

Promo: Who the heck is Belo?  

ED: I don’t know but any man who claims to be from Satan’s bosom can’t be a boy scout.  

Exuwa: And, of course the man that matches Pretty Pete’s physique and has the strength of 12 possessed souls – will be Mooi. I warn thee Kimo and Ross, later on tonight you will feel the wrath of torment fall upon thee like nothing you have ever experienced here on earth. Now Mike and Pete, nothing in this world is for free, and although we would be honored to do this favor for you, it does come with a small term.  

ED: Sounds like that date I might have with your sister.  

Promo: Would you be quiet!  

Exuwa: When we win the match, you will give us the next tag title shot or surrender your souls to our cause.  

[Mike shakes his head in a “no fucking way” fashion taking the microphone cautiously from Exuwa.]  

Mike: Can’t we work something else out? I like my soul and after I’m dead, I’m plan on going to heaven to fuc….  

Exuwa: [Snatching the microphone back] SILENCE INFIDEL!  

Pete: [Daring to take the mouth piece back for a second time] Look Eggsie, if you want us to put our souls on the line, then we’re all for being soulless. But if you win, we pick the stipulations for our match. Comprehende?

Exuwa: So it is written in the sands of time with blood.  

[Nodding in the affirmative, Exuwa turns and walks up the ramp as The Clansman gets into the ring for our first bout. Fading on Mike and Pete, it’s clear they aren’t 100% comfortable with what just took place.]