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April 1, 2007
Welcome to Kissimmee, Florida!
EWrestling.Org Presents GRINDER IX!
Exiting the bus
[After saving up for almost 6 months, you’ve purchased a front row ticket to BACW’s Grinder, have a pocket of cash for stadium food, and maybe a t-shirt or two if you’re lucky enough to find one of the those boot leg guys outside the arena. Packing your iPod into your jacket, and placing the brand new cell phone from mom and dad inside your jeans pocket, the bus finally comes to a halt and starts to empty. Getting up without checking your shoe laces, you trip into the guy in front of you while exiting the bus.]
You: Sorry man.
[Giving you a nasty stare, you’re too excited to be bothered. Plus, you never know who you’re going to meet on a trip like this, as far as you know, the guy could be a drug runner with a gun! Hell, you just rented the movie Turista and aren’t messing with anyone.]
[Staring at the marquee is reads]
[marquee]GRINDER IX: FEATURING THE RETURN OF OBSIDIAN & KID EVIL[/marquee]
You: [In awe] WOW!
[From within the hustle and bustle of the crowd you can hear the rough voice of a street hustler.]
Hustler: Get your BACW t-shirts only $10! All sizes available! Small fits the girlfriend with the big chest! Medium for the kids! And, extra large if you’re built like Quarter Bag! BACW t-shirts! Get them here for only $10. BACW t-shirts! Get’em while they last!
[There he was, and for only ten bucks! At this price, you could get one for both yourself and your girlfriend! Awesome! You might even splurge for your brother too. Bumping into the same damn guy who you encountered off the bus, you rolled your eyes.]
Guy from the bus: Jack-hole!
[The hustler was loud but stealth, and instead of telling this loser off, you decide to be the bigger man once again. Tapping the hustler on the shoulder, you engaged in a bit of black market merchandising.]
You: One for ten?
Hustler: [A nervous scan brings about the obvious question.] Are you a cop?
You: No, but I don’t want to pay sixty inside for the same thing you’re selling out here for ten. [Rolling through my fist of green backs] Give me a large, a small, and a medium.
Hustler: Walk with me while I find your sizes.
[Pleasantries exchanged, you follow the black market vendor through the packed streets towards the arena.]
Hustler: Nice watch… [Doing a double take] Are you Marv?
[Now you never met this guy in your life so how did he know your name by just looking at your watch? Something wasn’t right, but as long as you get your “Grinder” t-shirts, he could call you Andy for all you care.]
You: Yeah? How did you know my name…
Hustler: Get your BACW t-shirt only $10! I have all sizes! Small fits the girlfriend with the big chest! Medium for the kids! Extra large if you’re built like Quarter Bag! BACW t-shirts! Get’em while they last.
[Pulling shirts from places you didn’t even know a person could hold t-shirts, the man rifles through about 25 before finding the proper sizes. Back into his baggy pants like a magician went the extras leaving all but the ones he was looking for.]
Hustler: [Shifting his eyes left to right] Thirty.
You: Here are forty beans… got change right?
Hustler: [Snatching the money] Is Obsidian ugly?
You: Okay dumb question.
[POLICE WHISTLE]
Police: HEY!
Hustler: Gotta go!
Police: There he is! Get him! Hey! Stop! Stop right there!
[Just as the shirts exchange hands, the whistle blows again, and the hustler takes off without giving you back the ten dollars. You scream at him…]
You: What about my change?
[Knocking someone to the ground, you drop one of the t-shirts but continue to run knowing if you were arrested it would kill the day. Now jogging towards the gate, you’re out $10 and have two shirts to show for the deal instead of three.]
You: I’ve got to get inside.
[That was close, but you still have over a hundred in your pocket, and you’re not in a cell with a man named Bubba or a lunatic called Lovell. Getting on line, you listen to an argument someone’s having about BACW 1999 and 2007 rosters.]
Kid #1: [Pulling out his 80 GIG i-Pod] Yo man, Sam Natas is the joint brah! I got this DVD of last years Knight Awards and listen to this madman accept this award for “Whose hardcore”.
Kid #2: The Father of Evil is all that man, but he ain’t got nothin on The Spectre! Natas brings a sledge to the ring, but Spectre’s has a wild animal!
Kid #1: You think a dog is extreme?
Kid #2: It’s not a dog brah, it’s a hyena!
Kid #1: Whatever man, let’s get inside.
[Finally at the ticket taker, you hand the man your stub and entering the arena, you are instantly overwhelmed. Booths and merchandise fill every crevice of the lobby but unfortunately, there is only time to get something to eat and enter the arena. Grabbing a hotdog and a Coke, you can hear the show starting in the background. As you enter the arena Police scuffling with a bunch of kids over by the bathroom. Looking closer, you see someone being carried out on a stretcher.]
You: I wonder what that’s all about.
Congratulations, you have made it to the show!
[Click to begin Grinder IX]
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