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April 1, 2007
Welcome to Kissimmee, Florida!
EWrestling.Org Presents GRINDER IX!
The Deal
[With a quick nod of the head, you allow fate to decide whether or not you’re going to see The Grinder. Sure jail time was possible, but this seemed to be the only way to see the show.]
You: Okay. What do I do again?
Dude: UGH!
Dude: Coke, and these two flasks.
You: Okay.
Dude: Go into that port-o-potty and remember, if you try to run or mess with my stuff, I will hunt you down, understand?
[You walk towards the bathroom.]
You: Yeah I got it.
Dude: Good.
[Inside the port-o-potty, the stench is enough to make you want to vomit and through what little light there was inside the coffin like structure, you could barely make out the lumps of fecal matter floating in the basin below. Deciding it was worth the risk, you conceal the contraband and exit with the drugs tucked snug in your rectum. Carefully walking towards into the crowd, the person who just turned you into his human mule grabs you by the arm.]
Dude: That was a long time in there.
You: [Snapping] Do you know how long it takes to push something up your ass? Look man, I have my ticket and that’s all I want. Drugs aren’t my thing, and if you were so concerned about me taking liberties with your stuff, you should have done it yourself! I don’t have all day, are we getting in or what?
Dude: Just stay close and remember, if you get caught, you’re on your own.
You: Wonderful!
[Getting to the gate seems to take an eternity, and the only thing going through your mind was that you needed to get this stuff off your person, and fast! After a few minutes in line, you face inspection.]
Security: Hands out, and turn around.
[Giving me a quick once over, the guard motions for you to step to the side.]
Security: Over there… next!
[Oh my God, you were caught! Your mouth immediately goes dry and your palms started to sweat. Gripping your ticket you think, “What moron risks a criminal record for a wrestling event?” You are now approach the man with the metal detector.]
Security Guard #2: Got anything you want to tell me about?
[Should you admit it? Should you run?]
Make your decision:
[LIE]
[TRUTH]
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