[Part 1 - Last Week On TVMA]
Time: 10:00 PM [Fade into last week on TVMA] Promo: Into the ring comes Blood Thrilla but Sam Natas is tipping backwards! Besolve: He still can’t see from the powder! Promo: Thrilla’s rushing into the ring but he’s not going to get to his partner in time… Crowd: WHHOOAAA! [CRACK!!!!] Crowd: WOW! Bad ASS Wrestlin! Bad ASS Wrestlin! Bad ASS Wrestlin! Promo: OH! MY GOD!!!!! Besolve: Through the table with a sick thud and… [THUD!!!] Crowd: OH! Promo: Ross just ran over Thrilla from the blind side! Ross tosses Pretty Pete onto a limp Blood Thrilla and no, not like this! Besolve: The referee pounds the canvas! Referee: 1… 2… 3… Promo: My god I don’t believe it! Chris Ross just cost the Misanthropic a chance at becoming BACW’s tag team champions! [Echo the word “champions” and fade out from the clip] [BOO!] [The pay-per-view goes live with BACW Owner Mr. Batee pretentiously walking down the hallway with his chest puff out and grin from ear to ear. The place is packed which means so are Batee’s pockets; packed with money, and in his world, that’s all that matters.] Mr. Batee: [Rubbing his hands together] It’s paper-view time! [Continuing to rub in prayer motion] Green paper to be exact! [Pulling out a small travel size bottle of aloe, Mr. Batee moisturizes his dried palms to insure he can accurately count his money after the gates are closed. Whistling at the same time as he struts towards his office, Mr. Batee serenades us with a unique little tune.] Mr. Batee: [Moving his fingers like a maestro] Matty cracks bones and I don’t care, Matty cracks bones and I don’t care, The Crippler cracks bones and I don’t caaaaare, he’s hardcore all the way! He’s hardcore all the way! He’s hardcore all the way! OH, Matty cracks bones and I don’t care, Matty cracks bones and I don’t care, Matty cracks bones and I don’t caaaaare! He’s making me money today. Ha! Ha! Ha! I love that Matty McClain’s intensity… [BOOM!] Mr. Batee: [Reeling backwards] The hell? [As Batee reaches for his door, it unexpectedly swings open and out walked the man who stormed the ring on our last TVMA show. Still wearing his red, white, and blue mask with dread locks sticking out of the back, the mystery wrestler appears to be covered in mud.] Mr. Batee: What in tar nation are you doing inside my office boy? [Looking down, Batee’s eyes pop out of his head] What the hell! HEY! Did you go in there with those dang muddy shoes? [Breathing heavy and with his nostrils flaring outward the man responds in a low monotone voice.] ???? ????: Hello Batee. Mr. Batee: Hello Batee? [Pause] Hello Batee? [Grabbing his temples] Did we or did we not have a conversation last week, and if memory serves me correct, you agreed to not sneak around trying to recreate the movie Hostel. Am I right? [Looking again down Batee is even more horrified] Good Lord son, what the hell is that in your hands son? ???? ????: [Holding up his hands.] A basket… Mr. Batee: [Not wanting to ask the question] No one’s head is that basket is it? ???? ????: [Sadistic smile] Put your lotion in the basket. Mr. Batee: I’m sorry crazy, red, white, and blue mystery guy, but I need this lotion baby, my hands are killing from gardening this… [Snapping at Batee, the Freak recoils.] ???? ????: I SAID PUT THE F-CKING LOTION IN THE BASKET! Mr. Batee: [A bit taken back] Put the lotion in the basket… ???? ????: NOW! Mr. Batee: Alright Frankie relax, don’t do it if you catch my drift. Look, if you’re falling on hard times and can’t afford some aloe, hell you can have mine. I think I have more in my office anyway. And while we are sort of talking, can you please stop screaming at me; ya crazy some-bitch. I have heart issues and with you being up in my personal grill I’m starting get a bit edgy. [The man moves even closer, now nose to nose with Batee. The stench from his breath forces Batee to gag and pulling back from the close up, the owner gulps down the regurgitated vomit.] Mr. Batee: [With a frown on his face] Can I put my tic-tacs in your basket too? ???? ????: [Peering through the mask] Don’t like mints. [Starting to show panic, Batee wants to desperately call security but is too terrified to take action.] Mr. Batee: [Trying to reason] Look, I already told you, until we get your contract approved; you are not to injure anyone on my roster. [Holding up one finger] If you do, I will tear what we have already agreed upon and send you back to where ever the hell it is you came. [Puffing out his chest] Are we clear? [The man vocalizes after roughly clearing his throat.] ???? ????: The souls I have reaped cry for redemption. The blood I have drawn flows freely from the cup of God. And, once BACW opens its eyes, everyone will agree that without me, there can be no hardcore revolution! The scars I bear inside your ring will seep onto you Mr. Batee. And, once my blood touches your lips, may whatever God you pray to, have mercy on your souls. [Shocked as the man walks away from the conversation, cackling down the hall, he cries out as he turns the corner.] ???? ????: The day of reckoning is almost upon you, AND BACW HAS NO SAVIOR! HA-hahahahahaha! Mr. Batee: [Fumbling for the doorknob] I said stop screaming! [Mumbling] This job’s going to put me in an early grave. Guy’s breath smelled like Sam Natas after an orgy. Ugh! The people I sign to make a buck. [Batee slides into his shadowy office and slamming the door quickly, locks the deadbolt with one swift twist. Turning on the lights so his eyes can adjust, the owner spins towards his desk where he sees a bloody ice pick sticking through the middle of a stack of papers.] Mr. Batee: AAAAAH!!!!!!! Jesus Christmas without a Santa, what in the blue hell is this insanity? [Tearing the letter from the dagger, Batee reads the message to himself.] Mr. Batee: He can’t be serious. [Fumbling for the phone Batee quickly dials with shaky hands] Security: Security. Mr. Batee: Security! Security! Security: Is this you Mr. Batee. Mr. Batee: Yes it’s me! Security: Is everything okay sir? Mr. Batee: No, everything is not okay. Look, I want this place combed for you know who, and I want him detained ASAP! Security: Let me see if the cameras can locate his position. [There is a brief pause.] Security: I don’t see him Sir. Mr. Batee: What do you mean you don’t see him? Dang it! Find him, and find him now! I know he’s still here. I can feel the snake still looking at me! [Hanging up the phone, Mr. Batee slumps into his leather high back.] Mr. Batee: My God, what have I done? I need help; I need someone to keep that evil guy in line. |