[Superheroes Return]
Time: 10:00 PM [Meanwhile, back at the Halls of Justice, or backstage to you and me, BACW's local superhero and defender against evil, Particle Man, along with his trusty sidekick Universe Man, have stopped by a soda machine containing the popular Hulk Hogan Energy Drink. It appears our dapper hero has become rather parched in preparation for his battle against Evil Sam God Damn Natas. Particle Man has retrieved 6 quarters from his tights, and with Universe Man's help, places them into the machine.] [Clink] [Clink] [Clink] [Clink] [Clink] [Clink] [Unfortunately for our young hero, he has fallen victim to a mechanical malfunction as the machine has "stolen" Particle Man's rather large sum of $1.50 without rewarding him with an Energy Drink. Particle Man is slightly annoyed at this predicament, and begins kicking the machine with all the strength his little legs can muster. ] Particle Man: Vile machine! [Particle Man screams.] Is there no justice in this world when even a dispensary device whose purpose is to refresh and reinvigorate the tongue's of thirsty ones, deprives a Superhero of a beverage? [Particle Man now turns to his trusty sidekick.] Particle Man: Universe Man! You know what to do! Universe Man: No problem, boss. [Stepping up to the machine] You move now. Universe Man don't want boss to be flatten like pancake if machine fall over. [Particle Man steps aside as Universe Man grabs the machine with his huge bear-like arms, and begins lifting the machine off the ground. He lifts and drops the machine repeatedly in an attempt to get the machine to confess to its bad deeds and relinquish the Energy Drink it OWES Particle Man. Suddenly, appearing behind our dynamic duo, is none other than BACW's Sadistic Nut and current heavyweight champion, The Spectre. He surveys the situation and can't help but cackling aloud.] Spectre: Hehehehehehehe... [Spectre's sick laugh startles Particle Man, who twirls around quick as a whip, getting in a defensive pose with his hands ready to strike.] Particle Man: HALT, GRIMACE! You do-er of all that is sick and twisted! Are you now seeking to try and destroy Particle Man when he is at his most vulnerable? When he is lacking the liquid nourishment to sustain his energy? When his partner, Universe Man, is preoccupied from upholding justice from a machine that has fallen into the evil corporate empire in an attempt to crush Particle Man's fight against crime? For shame, Grimace! For shame! Spectre: [Scowling] Excuse me? What the hell are you talking about? And the name’s… Spectre. Speeeeeeeec-trrrrrrrrrrre! [Particle Man looks Spectre up and down, and smirks as Universe Man tries to mouth Speeeeeeeeec-trrrrrrrrrre] Particle Man: But, of course, Spectre is the name that the fine citizens know you by. But I, Particle Man, know your TRUE…identity. Underneath the pale skin, outlandish hair, and over-exaggerated maniacal laughter lies the TRUE you-the rotund fiend known as…GRIMACE! Spectre: Oh, yeah? Well, I know YOUR true identity too! [Particle Man gasped, and his mouth hung open.] Particle Man: That is not possible. NO ONE knows my REAL name! My secret identity is kept well-hidden, and you don’t know either, Grimace. You are just trying to trick me with your powerful mind games! Spectre: I bet the Jolly Green Giant over there knows your real name. [Spectre now turns to Universe Man, who has been holding the machine off the ground the entire time.] Spectre: “Hey, Blaster! Do YOU know Particle Man’s real name?” Universe Man: Sure me know boss’ name. Spectre: Yeah? Well what is it? [Particle Man suddenly gets very concerned, and shaking his head for Universe Man not to say anything, the big man doesn’t notice him.] Universe Man: It’s……….” [Spectre suddenly gets excited and his eyes lit up in anticipation of Particle Man’s real name.] Universe Man: BOSS! [Spectre’s face looked deflated and disgusted at Universe Man’s response.] Spectre: Ha, ha! Very funny, Magilla! Look, why don’t you go find a nice puddle of water to slip in while carrying that machine! OK? Universe Man: Sure thing, Grimace! [Bounding down the hall, Universe Man leaves carrying the machine down the corridor. Particle Man and Spectre can hardly believe the massive strength of Universe Man. Particle Man turns to Spectre.] Particle Man: That was a very dastardly and sneaky trick you played on my partner there, Grimace. Using the ploy of distraction to get Universe Man to leave so you could try and defeat me alone! It was an ingenious maneuver, but, I must warn you Grimace, you will never be able to prevail over- Spectre: [Shaking his head] What the fuck are you talking about, Particle Man? I’m not here to fight you. I’m here to help you. I heard you are trying to fight the injustices here in BACW and I'm here to help you uphold the law. Particle Man: You? Help me? Why would you, a foul villain such as yourself, try to help me? Are you trying to use your mind games on me? Remember, I am a superhero, and my powers are greater! Greater than any arrows you might cast in my direction. [Particle Man now turns to the side, his fists on his hips, his chest sticking out, and his head raised high.] Particle Man: Besides, I know what I must do. I must face the evil one known as Sam Natas, and save him from the evil harbored in his body. I have helped many a foe before, and for Sam's sake, I MUST prevail! Plus, I’m on some top secret superhero business for Mr. Batee! Spectre: Batee? Particle Man: Yes Grimace! It’s top secret. Spectre: Believe it or not, I, too, am on a top secret mission from Batee! Particle Man: [GASP!] Spectre: I know about the injustices and travesties that can befall a person. I, TOO, am a victim, of the evil empire that is BACW. I, too, have been a puppet in Mr. Batee’s sick games. And I KNOW you think this match between you and Sam Natas is just another one of Mr. Batee’s sick games that he wants to play. People are in danger Particle Man, the innocent are about to get hurt!” [Particle Man ponders over Spectre’s words, putting his hand across his mouth and tapping his finger.] Particle Man: Hmmm… You do make a valid point, Grimace. [Spectre continues] Spectre: And what about the children?” [Particle Man turns to Spectre who raises an eyebrow.] Spectre: Yes, think about the children, Particle Man. Think of all those innocent children that could possibly get injured. Particle Man: What are you referring to, Grimace?” Spectre: I’m talking about those cages that Blood Thrilla and Universe Man will be inside of, Particle Man. [Spectre knees beside Particle Man placing his hand on Particle Man’s shoulder. He begins talking into Particle Man’s ear, but in a lower tone of voice.] Spectre: Think about it, my friend. Two men…twenty feet in the air… inside steel cages…both men are over 150 pounds…and they are hanging over the fans. [Particle Man’s eyes light up.] Spectre: How would you feel if something tragic happened while your match was going on… something tragic like a mechanical malfunction? [Particle Man spins around and looks directly into Spectre’s eyes as he continues but this time speaking louder and with more authority.] Spectre: You know what I speak of, don’t you, my friend. If the soda machines in this building have been compromised by the evildoers and corporate bad men of BACW, then what is to stop those same “fiends” from preying on innocent men, women, and children just to earn monster ratings and a fat paycheck? Last Rites Particle Man, think about it! You need to stand firm in your convictions! Let Mr. Batee know you will not be part of his masquerade to shock and awe the wrestling world! Particle Man: Yes, yes, I see what you mean, oh purple-haired one. But convincing a powerful man such as Mr. Batee, will NOT be an easy task. My words may fall on deaf ears and he may throw me to the wolves. I am still rather new to this place, and Mr. Batee may frown upon someone such as me telling him I refuse to do that match with THOSE stipulations. Spectre: Perhaps I can help you there, Particle Man. I’ve been around this place for almost two years. I am BACW’s Heavyweight champion. I have made Mr. Batee lots of money due to MY abilities. You could say I have a certain amount of “stroke with Mr. Batee and yes, even Sam Natas. If you want the stipulations removed from your match, I can get that done for you. Just let me talk to Mr. Batee, and I will take care of everything, even this secret mission you’re on. Particle Man: Yes…yes… you talk to Mr. Batee, and tell him that. I will still fight, as long as I have a breath in my body, I will fight, but I refuse to fight under those dangerous stipulations when the safeties of innocent citizens are at stake. Here, take this note and find this person for Batee! Spectre: [Spectre reads the blood covered note in shock] Well I’ll be damned, you sneaky son of a gun. Okay Particle Man, I AM OFF! [Spectre turns to “fly off” to Mr. Batee’s office, when suddenly Universe Man returned with the soda machine still in his arms. Huffing and puffing, he dropped the machine in the exact spot he took it from.] Universe Man: Me no find puddle of water, Grimace. Mop Man must have use SuperSoakerMop2000 to remove puddles.” [Spectre simply smiles.] Spectre: That’s okay, Universe Man. You did your best. And Particle Man, next time try plugging in the machine into the outlet before you put your money in it! There are evil people here who would do anything to get your attention for even a second. Heh-e-heh-e-heh-ehe… Particle Man: The plug! [Slap to the forehead] Of course! [Spectre turns away from the dynamic duo, and placing his fists on his hips, takes a deep breath, and with a mighty bellow, screamed out.] Spectre: Me now off to see big man called Batee. TO THE BATS-CAVE!!! [Whoooooooooooooooooooooooosh! And in one fail swoop, The Spectre sets forth toward Mr. Batee’s office, leaving the dynamic duo standing there in a bit of wonderment. Universe Man turns to his partner, Particle Man, and tapping him on the shoulder asks.] Universe Man: Why Grimace speak weird like that? Particle Man: I don't know, but I don't trust him! [Fading back into the arena, ring announcer Michael Stuffher is ready for our opening introductions.] |