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[Former BACW Host Eric Bytchoff is deep in conversation with nervous Tony Salami.]
Eric: It will be fine, trust me, I mean what can go wrong.
Tony: What can go wrong?? Are you kidding me Eric?? You’ve seen his record, suspended from every federation he’s ever competed in, fined also! Christ I heard he’s not long out of Jail?
Eric: Well I happen to know 2 weeks ago he was wrestling in Mexico so I wouldn’t read too much into the Jail rumors.
Tony: Tell me something Eric, how did he swing it? I mean no one in the US has touched him with a bargepole over the last 4 years?
Eric: Well that is the million dollar question and lets face it, you're not longer the co-host for BACW, but this interview could re-point your career in the right direction.
Tony: Oh god, I really don’t want to do this Eric, I'm 74 years old.... Wouldn’t you feel better getting the kudos for getting this interview?
Eric: Listen Tony, you are the new interviewer right? If you don’t interview what do you do? I mean I can get a new job easy enough but you, you're old.
[Tony's head drops as he slowly realizes that his options have run out and soon he will be the 1st member of BACW to finally come face to face with the federation’s newest and possibly most dangerous member.
[Camera switches to the commentator’s table as Paul Prominski and Eric Danger prepare to call the action on the show.]
Paul: Welcome back everyone, and before we get into the ring for our next bout, let's remind the folks at home that this tournament is done in the memory of Stevie Sinister, a former BACW member who perished from our squared circle long before his time. Tonight, one man will walk from this ring as our new champion and also claim the honors of being called Sinister 16 champion.
Eric: Yes Paul, and to do that, the new champ will have to go through a grueling night where he will have to take apart the best the federation has to offer in order to survive.
Paul: And he will have to win 4 matches in 1 night, unprecedented indeed.
Paul: Can’t wait Eric, and neither can the fans! Get ready because in just a moment, we are going to start the act....
Eric: NOT SO FAST PAUL!!! [Interrupts Eric] I have a little treat for the fans at home.
Promo: [Paul laughs sarcastically] Tony Salami?
[Camera switches to the ring as Tony enters the squared circle with a microphone in hand.]
Crowd: Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back!
Promo: It is him!
Tony: Ladies... Ladies and Gentlemen… He looks down at a piece of paper and continues. It's an honor and privilege to present one of the former contestants in tonight’s tournament. He is a 2 time heavyweight champion outside BACW. He is one of the most feared and respected men in European professional wrestling history.
Crowd: [BOO!]
[He looks back at the paper again.]
Tony: In a bidding war between the 3 major US federations, he has agreed to come to BACW and represent his nation against the best in the world.
[Tony walks around the ring looking around as bagpipes softly sound out around the arena.]
Promo: Ladies and gentleman, weighing in at 297 lbs, at almost 7 feet tall and hailing from the Highlands of Scotland. I present to you once again - THE SCOTTISH CLANSMAN!
[Pipes start playing softly [Scotland the Brave] and they get louder and louder. The big screen flashes with the faces of famous Scotsmen.]
Alexander Graham Bell.
Robert The Bruce.
John Logie Baird.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Robert Louis Stevenson, and Andrew Carnegie.
[On the screen a castle appears... the camera pans up and the 2 Scottish Flags [The Saltire and Lion Rampant can be seen flying high above the castle ramparts. The camera changes to a shot of a piper playing the music strolling along the castle walls. In the arena, the pipes get louder and louder. Then at the top of the walkway can be seen a red haze with the Lion rampant and standing in the centre of it is the outline of the Huge Clansman sword held high pointing to skyward.]
Promo: He lost in the first round, why the hell is he coming back to the ring?!
Eric: Looks like as usual your sources were wrong eh Paul.
Promo: Gulps down his water… Oh God he has a sword! Oh God he has a sword! Oh God he has a sword!
[As the kilt wearing Clansman slowly walks towards the ring, the arena is stunned into silence at the sight of the monstrous man. His long red hair and beard blow thanks to the arena AC and the fans close enough to see his deep green eyes glaring at them can feel that the federation will never be the same again regardless of the first round. He steps up onto the apron and as he looks around at the fans in the arena he snarls at them and steps over the top rope and getting into the ring.]
Clansman: [Thrusting his sword into the air] FREEDOM!
Promo: He's kidding right?
ED: I don't think so; he's not wearing any underwear.
Promo: Point well taken.
[Tony backs slowly into the corner as the Clansman stakes his claim to the middle of the ring.]
Eric: As a fellow commentator might say, business - in Bad Ass Championship Wrestling is about to pick up!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Promo: Or shut down!
[Paul shakes his head in stunned acceptance of the nights events.]
Crowd: Where's your belt?! Where's your belt?! Where's your belt?!
[Clansman stares at Tony and motions him to move forward. Tony looks up at the Clansman and holds the mike up to his face.]
Tony: Mr. Clansman. Uh. Uhmmm welcome to the BACW?
[Clansman looks down at the aged yet experienced interviewer and snaps with a broad Scottish accent.]
SCM: Tony, dae ye no have a mike fer me? Or am I expected to bend down to yer level? Get out of my ring, this is MY island!
Crowd: [BOO!]
Tony: Sssorry sir.
Crowd: Darrel's gonna kill you! Darrel's gonna kill you! Darrel's gonna kill you!
SCM: Lads and lassies, I know what yer all thinking. I can very see what ye lot of you are considered 3rd world low lives!
Crowd: USA! USA! USA!
SCM: USA? Is that what yer crying? USA? Let me tell ye losers aboot USA. Yer the laughing stock of the world! Ye have a leader who is not smart enough to be a moron!!
[Clansman bellows with laughter at his own joke.]
Crowd: Shut the fuck up! [clap clap clap-clap-clap-clap] Shut the fuck up! [clap clap clap-clap-clap-clap] Shut the fuck up! [clap clap clap-clap-clap-clap]
Eric: They have a point.
SCM: Tony, come here!
[Tony moves forward slowly.]
Tony: Yes Mr. Clansman.
SCM: Tony, Tony, Tony, its no Mr. that’s ma daddie! Ahmmm just Clansman ok old timer?
Tony: Yes Clansman
[Clansman reaches behind his back to grab the but of his huge Claymore sword. He points it at Tony who cowers as far back as he can.]
SCM: Tony, whit kinda man do ye think I am. Do ye think I would harm a hair on that bald little head?
[Clansman moves to him to the side and holds out his hand.]
SCM: Now hold out yer hands, and hold ma Claymore!
ED: I don't know about you, but I'm not holding anyone's Claymore!
Promo: Please E.D.!
[Tony reaches towards the Scot but as he places the butt of the sword in his hands his knees buckle and he slumps to the floor under the weight of the Claymore sword.]
ED: I once knew a guy who was famous for bringing his Claymore to bachelor parties.
Promo: Christ…how heavy is that damn thing?
ED: I never got that close Paul.
SCM: Randy and Ryan, Well lads. Once you've seen what I do to Orge for beating me, it should be funny seeing which one of ye BACW-ites lays down first!
[Clansman runs his fingers through his beard again.]
SCM: Whoever has the misfortune to make it to me list of hate...
[Clansman looks to the heavens and raises his sword high to the ceiling of the Arena.]
SMC: Ye…will………FEEL MA STEEL!
[Suddenly the Clansman moves with stunning speed and power and buries his Claymore sword deep into the middle of the ring and glares at the camera. Green eyes flashing, he exits with a maniacal smiling stunning audience.]
ED: He put a hole in the ring Paul.
Promo: I don’t care what he did to the ring as long as he’s gone! As our seconds try to remove the Claymore from the logo, let’s go the ring for our next bout.
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